The Departure Transformation
by I.Am.Molly
Summary: Leonard is leaving and while Penny is finding it hard to deal with, the impending change is bringing out some unexpected changes in Sheldon. How will Penny deal with being without Leonard, and how far is Sheldon willing to change in order to keep Amy? This is a L/P and S/A story. There will be some spoilers for season 6. Please read and let me know what you think! :)
1. My Little Puppy

**New story time :)**** This one is based around the finale. There are no spoilers in it so don't worry, the only thing from the finale that is mentioned is the fact that Leonard is planning on leaving. The chapters that do have any slight spoilers in it will be uploaded after the finale airs, but even then the spoilers are just small things, but still, I don't want to ruin anything for anyone.**

**This story is quite different from what I have written in the past in that it isn't solely a L/P fic, it is also a S/A one. Recently I have found myself becoming quite drawn to those two and I wanted to write something that included them in it. I intend on giving each couple the same amount of time and growth, although due to the fact I am so used to writing for L/P, the scales may tip slightly in their direction!**

**Now, this is the first time I have written for Sheldon and Amy and I should say keeping them completely in character is hard! I think I have gotten Leonard and Penny down, but I am still getting the hang of writing for S/A so please keep that in mind when reading! **

**And finally, I want to tell you that this story won't be getting updated quite as often as my previous ones have. I want this story to last a little longer since there will be no more new episodes or taping reports to keep me going! Although you can probably still expect at least a couple of updates per week.**

**Phew, this is one long A/N so I will be quiet now! I hope you all enjoy this story and as ever, please let me know if you do! Oh, and I have even given each chapter a title, go me!**

**I own nothing in this story :(**

* * *

**My Little Puppy**

Penny knocked on the door of 4a once, and headed inside without permission, like she usually did. She had only finished her lunch shift at The Cheesecake Factory about an hour ago, and was looking forward to spending some time with Leonard before he left.

"Hey sweetie!" She said as she spotted Leonard sitting at his desk. She walked over and put her arms around his neck as she crouched behind him, gave him a kiss on the cheek and then rested her chin on his shoulder. "Wotcha doin'?"

"Hey," He grumbled, "Sorry Penny I don't have time to hang out I've got a lot of work to do."

"Oh," She said sounding obviously disappointed. "Are you still sorting stuff out for your trip?"

"Yeah and I have to get this paper finished before I go." He said as he rested his head on his hand and began to massage his temples. "There is just so much still to do and no time to do it in."

Leonard was leaving in just over a week to go to the North Sea to work for Stephen Hawking, and for the past few days he had been stressing himself out over absolutely everything. He had a few things he had to finish off before he left and he had been staying up late trying to get it done, as well as trying to sort everything out for Sheldon, who unsurprisingly wasn't taking Leonard's pending departure very well, for his own selfish reasons. Penny could tell Leonard was nervous about the trip, about it going well and about leaving her. She had tried her best to be supportive and help him through his restless nights, but it was hard.

"You look tired, honey." She said as she turned her face to the side to look at him.

"I _am_ tired, and stressed and hungry." He said, almost snapping at her. "My head hurts and my eyes are stinging, but I _have_ to get this finished."

Penny wasn't shocked by the abrupt tone of voice, she had heard quite a bit of it over the past few days and although she had fought with him because of it for the first day or two, she quickly realized it was better to ignore it, because she knew it wasn't really his fault, he was overworking himself and he wasn't getting enough rest.

Penny didn't say a word. She just removed her hands from around his neck and sat on the sofa. Leonard swivelled around in his chair, wondering if his snappy words had upset her, but he didn't see any anger in her face. "You're in Sheldon's spot." He said. He wasn't even sure why he had said it, he didn't really care, it was just weird to see someone sitting there and not have Sheldon telling them to get off.

"I don't care, come here." She said as she patted her leg.

"Penny I told you, I've got work to do."

"And I told you to come here." She said softly. "Look, you have barely slept and you are stressing yourself out. Come lie down and get some rest, it's the only thing that will help."

Penny looked him stubbornly in the eyes, telling him she wasn't going to back down, and Leonard caved, mainly because he just didn't have the strength to fight her, and laying down sounded like a better idea than trying to write out more of his paper. "Okay." He said quietly as he got up off his chair and walked over, while Penny grabbed a cushion and put it on her lap.

"Good boy." She said with a grin as he sat down beside her. "Put your head here." She patted her hand on the cushion and touched his head as he lay down on her lap. Leonard looked up at her as she gently took his glasses off and placed them on the coffee table. "I think you forget sometimes how brilliant your mind is," She said as she began to stroke his forehead, "You have to give it the rest it needs, or else it will become as useless at solving the inner workings of the universe as mines!" She said with a smile as she touched his cheek.

Leonard looked up into her beautiful green eyes and gave her a smile back, "I love you, Penny."

"I love you, too." She reached down and kissed him gently on the lips, "Now, close your eyes." Penny traced her fingers over his eyes, forcing them to close, then looked down at him and smiled at his peaceful expression. She then softly traced her hand over his face, while using the other one to gently massage his scalp.

"Mmm," Leonard said with a sigh. "You have no idea how good that feels. It's so... relaxing."

Penny smiled, "Good, it's supposed to be." She said quietly. She bent forward and gave him another soft kiss on the lips, "Now, go to sleep honey." She whispered, although she was sure he was already half way there.

She cherished this moment as she watched him drift off. She had been trying so hard lately to keep her emotions in check, to keep from breaking down at the thought of him leaving. _Four months._ She repeated in her head. It was a long time. The only other time they had spent nearly that long apart was when he went to the North Pole. Those months had been hard, so she knew that these next few months were going to be even harder. She cared about him more now than she had back then, she was in love with him now, incredibly so. Her heart ached at the thought of not being able to see him each and every day, but she had barely shown it to him. This was his job, his career, and Penny knew he had to do it. She also knew that if she began to break down, if she cried and begged him to stay, he would do it, and ruin the chance of a lifetime. She couldn't be the one to blame for that. So she kept her tears inside, but as each day passed, they became harder to hold on to.

Penny stroked her sleeping man's hair as she began to think of all the things she was going to miss about him, before quickly stopping her own train of thought. Her throat had tightened, as had her chest, and she knew she was on the verge of crying. She took in a deep shaky breath, and reached out to grab the television remote. She flicked through some channels until she landed on a programme she was happy with and put her feet on the coffee table, making sure not to move Leonards head as she moved. She placed her right hand on his chest, feeling him slowly breathe in and out, while her left hand continued to stroke his hair as she kept her mind focused on the television in front of her, and not how much she was going to miss the man on her lap.

* * *

About a half an hour passed, and Penny was still in the same position, although Leonard had turned to the side in his sleep, and was now facing her stomach with his arms tucked up against his chest. Penny heard the door begin to open and looked over to see Sheldon entering his apartment with a bag full of comic books.

He stepped inside the door and before he could even get a word out of his mouth, Penny said, in a firm whisper, "Sheldon, Leonard is sleeping so don't make any noise that will wake him up."

Sheldon looked at her, rather dumbfounded for a moment. "You are in my spot." He said in the same tone as her.

Penny rolled her eyes. "Do you remember my rule about what will happen if you wake me up before 11am?"

"Yes, you said that if I knock on your door before that time you will punch me in the throat." He whispered very matter-of-factly as he put a hand to rub his neck.

"Right, the same rule applies here. You wake him up; you get a punch in the throat." She whispered without even a hint of sarcasm.

Sheldon hesitated for a moment, dying to tell her once again to get off his spot, but the look in her eyes scared the bejesus out of him. He was certain that she meant every word she said and although he hated the mere thought of someone else sitting in his spot and ruining the indentations in it that suited him perfectly, he also wanted to preserve the life of his voice box that would no doubt be ruined with a Nebraskan punch to the windpipe.

Penny stared Sheldon out of it, and he eventually backed down with a defeated sigh as he headed to his desk. Penny smiled at her victory, there were so few of them when it came to Sheldon, and she was sure at some point she was going to pay for this show of rebelliousness towards him, but she didn't care about that just now, she was just glad that Leonard was still sleeping peacefully on her lap. She looked down at him and once again began to stroke his hair and caress the side of his face that was facing up at her.

"What are you doing?" Sheldon whispered as he put his bags down and sat at his desk. Penny just looked up at him with a frown, unsure what he was talking about. "He is not a pet, Penny, he is a human being. Therefore I don't understand why you are stroking his hair like he is some sort of puppy."

Penny smiled and fought the first answer that came to mind which was, 'He is my little puppy', because she knew that would just confuse him even more. "I don't know Sheldon," She whispered, feeling a little exasperated. "He liked it. It helped him fall asleep."

Sheldon scrunched his face up in confusion and Penny wished she had thought of a better answer, one that wouldn't bring up more questions from the crazy man. "Even if that was the case, he is already asleep now, so why are you still doing it?"

Penny sighed, "Because… I don't know, because I like it." She whispered with a shrug. "It's called being affectionate, Sheldon. You should try it some time."

"And why would I want to do that?" He asked with a frown.

Penny sighed once again, "I don't know... to show the person you care about, how much you care about them?" Penny whispered as she looked down at Leonard. "You should try being a little more affectionate to Amy, hell, a _lot_ more affectionate…" She whispered, shaking her head. "Poor girl."

"What do you mean 'poor girl'? I will have you know I am very affectionate towards Amy." He said, removing his voice from a whisper and becoming a little defensive. "I hold her hand on occasion... I looked after her when she was sick... I make her tea!"

"Oh, you're so romantic!" Penny whispered sarcastically, rolling her eyes again, "Listen Sheldon, I don't want to get into this with you now, Leonard is trying to sleep and so help me God if he wakes up because you can't keep your crazy mouth shut, you will be wearing a scarf for the next month." Penny once again glared at him, until his tense demeanour dropped and he relaxed, surrendering to her harsh words. "Look, all I am trying to say is that Amy puts up with a lot from you," Penny began to speak much softer to him, "it would be nice if every now and again you would show her how much she means to you. I'm not saying you have to take her to bed, or even that you have to kiss her, all I'm saying is that maybe every now and again you do something small like this," She whispered as she motioned to Leonard. "Let her fall asleep on your lap, or even cuddle with her on the couch while you watch television, she really would appreciate it."

Sheldon frowned, "Amy knows that I am very fond her, I don't have to show her with hippy dippy things like that." He whispered.

"Really? I don't think she does. You have never told her, not properly. Sheldon I know you have all these weird… let's call them quirks, but you have to get over them, because Amy deserves someone who will treat her better than you. And trust me, if you don't start showing her, how much you care about her, you will end up driving her into the arms of some other man that will give her what she needs."

Penny felt a little bad that about what she was saying to him, it was a little harsh, but she knew she had to. Sheldon had gone on too long with his weird obsessions and she knew it was about time he faced up to them. Penny knew that Amy was unlikely to leave Sheldon any time soon, despite what she had told him, but Amy was still young and deserved to have a physical relationship with someone other than her toothbrush. Penny simply thought that scaring him a little with the idea of Amy leaving him, might just hurry him along in the process of becoming a little less neurotic. Although that didn't change the fact that telling him that felt much like she was telling a child that Santa Claus didn't really exist.

Sheldon looked at her in horror, "Amy wouldn't leave me."

Penny sighed as she looked at him and saw the disbelief in his face. "Really? Remember Stuart?" She whispered and Sheldon reluctantly nodded. "If you don't start upping your game soon, she will move on, and I will be the first one to help her. Don't get me wrong, I _love_ you two together, and I know you do care about her, but Amy deserves more, and if you aren't willing to give it to her, there are plenty of other men that are." Sheldon said nothing as she spoke, he just continued to stare at her with that disbelieving expression. "Look, like I said Sheldon, you don't have to make any huge leaps yet, just one little step at a time and you never know, you might actually end up enjoying the 'hippy dippy things'."

Sheldon scoffed and turned his back to her to get away from the uncomfortable conversation. She didn't know what she was talking about, he and Amy were fine. Over the past few weeks he had felt himself let go of some of his reservations and becoming closer to her, like he had told Penny, he had looked after her when she was sick, he found himself able to touch her and have her touch him without feeling immediately repulsed. He bathed her for crying out loud! He had never gotten that close to another human being in his life! They were fine as they were. He cared about Amy and she knew that. Nothing more had to change yet, did it?

Everything around him was already changing enough. He had to deal with his best friend leaving for four months, changing his everyday life dramatically. Change begets change, and that thought was nauseating. Sure, it will start with Leonard going away for a few months, but that will lead to him being forced to deal with other people more often, since he would no longer have his roommate to take him to whatever destination he desired. And after that he might leave for good, forcing him once again to look into finding a new roommate. The same thing would happen with Amy. Once he started to change himself in order to become more affectionate towards her, she would continue to expect more from him. It was already happening, he had done his part as 'the boyfriend' and looked after her while she was sick and what followed that? She tried to move in with him. Change begets change, and he hated change.

Sheldon turned on his computer and as he waited on it to boot up, he thought about what Penny had said about Amy moving on, and as much as it killed him to admit it, he really didn't want Amy out of his life. She was the only one who really understood him, and she had been incredibly patient with him, letting him slowly get over his phobias without too much complaint. Amy was special and deep down he knew she deserved to be treated that way. The thing that really got to him as he thought about the possibility of Amy leaving him, was that that thought scared him more than the thought of change. He would rather change to keep Amy, than not change and lose her... Maybe it wouldn't hurt to try and be a _little_ more affectionate towards her, and as weird as stroking her hair while she lay on his lap sounded, maybe it wouldn't be as bad as he thought.


	2. Just a Distraction

**Just a Distraction**

Penny focused her mind back on the television after her little discussion with Sheldon. She wondered if he truly could ever just let himself go and stop being so afraid of letting his emotions take reign of his body. She wondered why he had become like that, if he was born that way or if something happened that forced him to become so… for lack of a better word, frigid. She also wondered why Amy put up with it. She basically gave him everything he wanted, getting nothing in return except someone to call her boyfriend. He barely even acted like a boyfriend, and when he did it was only because he was obligated to by his silly contract. Penny shook her head slightly, feeling bad for Amy and what she had to put up with, when Leonard started to stir on her lap. She stroked his hair in an attempted to soothe him back to sleep, but it didn't work and his eyes cracked open.

"Go back to sleep sweetie, you've only been out for less than an hour." She said softly as she grazed his cheek with the back of her hand.

Sheldon shot around in his chair with a look of slight fear in his face, clutching his throat as he noticed that Leonard was awake. "Relax Sheldon, your throat is safe…" She said and he relaxed, "for now." She said under her breath and he furrowed his brow before turning back to his laptop.

Penny looked down at Leonard, who was smiling up at her. "You threatened his throat again?" He croaked as he wiped the sleep from his eyes.

"I didn't want him to wake you up." She said with a shrug. "How was your sleep?"

Leonard turned back on to his side and groaned as he pushed his face close to her stomach and pulled his hands up to his chest again. "Great."

Penny giggled and rested her hands on his head, "Good."

Sheldon spun around in his chair again, "Okay Penny, you have spent enough time on my spot. It is now five o'clock, and Dr. Who is about to start, so move." He said as he motioned for her to shoo away from his spot.

Penny groaned and was about to protest, when Leonard mumbled, "You are a real pain in the ass Sheldon do you know that?" And she couldn't help but giggle.

"Yes, well, in ten days you won't have to deal with me, so come on, move." He walked over and stood beside Leonard's chair, waiting for them to get up.

Penny felt a sting to the heart at the abrupt mention of him leaving. It was so easy to forget he was going, because everything around them was still as it always was. She cleared her throat of the lump that was slowly forming and moved her feet from the coffee table as Leonard sat up and reached over for his glasses. "I should get back to work anyway." He said as he stood up.

Penny's heart sunk. She knew he had to finish what work he had left, but the days were going fast and she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible before he went away. "How much work do you have left?" She asked as she scooted over, allowing Sheldon to take over his spot.

Leonard was about to answer, but Sheldon's groaning interrupted him. Both Leonard and Penny looked at him in confusion, although they knew what was bothering him. "This is why I don't let people sit in my spot." He said as he wiggled his body around. Leonard shook his head, having already heard this complaint from him in the past and knowing where it was going, he headed over to sit at his desk. "You, Penny, have ruined my imprint in the cushion, whilst simultaneously making the leather warm."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Penny asked confusedly. "I love sitting on a warm seat."

"No it's not a good thing!" Sheldon replied. "I like the cool feeling of the leather when I sit down, and you, you blonde, cornhusking rebel, have ruined it for me." He said shaking his head as he grabbed the remote to change the channel.

"Maybe you should go walk around outside for an hour and come back, and then the seat will be _cool_ again." Leonard said without turning his attention from his laptop. "Or you know, just don't come back."

"No." Sheldon replied simply, while Penny grinned. "Now everyone be quiet; Dr. Who is starting."

Penny sat for a few moments, trying her hardest to get herself interested in the programme Sheldon was watching, but she just couldn't do it. She glanced up at Leonard who was typing away on his laptop, and decided it was probably best she just went back into her own apartment to leave the guys to do their own thing. She got up, walked over to Leonard and touched him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Is everything okay?" He asked without turning his attention from the screen.

"I'm going to go home honey."

"Are you sure?" He said, turning around in his chair to face her.

"Yeah." She replied with a half smile, "You have work to do and watching Dr. Who with Dr. Crazy doesn't interest me at all."

"Shh." Leonard said, putting a finger to his lips. "If he hears you say that you will be in trouble, you know how much he loves that show."

"I'm already in trouble anyway for sitting in his stupid spot." She said, grinning. She moved closer to him and put her hands around his neck. "Don't sit up all night working again, okay?" Leonard hesitated slightly, knowing that he still had a lot of work left to do, but she persisted. "I'll wait up for you coming to bed." She said then bent down and gave him a kiss.

"No Penny, don't do that. I don't know when I'll be finished."

"Well you better get a move on then, because I _will_ be waiting up for you. I'm not going to sleep until you are in bed beside me, okay?" She said, knowing that he would agree because he wouldn't want her sitting up all night waiting on him.

Leonard nodded and quietly said, "Okay. I'll try not to be too late."

She smiled and leant in to kiss him again, "Good. I'll see you later then." She said softly before giving him another quick kiss and leaving him to his work.

* * *

Sheldon had been looking past the television, at the couple that was in front of him. For some reason he couldn't focus his mind on Dr. Who, and it was odd, because he loved that show. Something was bothering him, he knew that much, he just couldn't figure out what.

He had watched his friends' loving conversation and tender actions and when usually he would have felt annoyed and repulsed at the show of affection and love, this time he didn't. He found himself feeling something that he could only describe as longing. Longing for what though; for them to be done with their chatter and leave him in peace to watch his show? To be able to be that close in proximity to someone without feeling the need to run in the opposite direction? Or for the love that those two so obviously shared? His mind told him it was the first one, because he didn't want nor need any of those other things, but something in his heart told him different.

He very rarely listened to what his heart felt, because unlike the brain, its decisions weren't rational, logical ones, they were emotional, therefore they could make the wrong judgement, and he couldn't take the chance that he would be wrong about something.

Penny's words still rung in his ear, 'Amy deserves better than you' she had said, 'If you don't start upping your game soon, she will leave you.' Sheldon shook his head, she was wrong, this was Penny, she was always wrong. And what did 'upping your game' mean anyway? This wasn't some board or video game, it was a relationship, how was he supposed to, 'up his game' in a relationship?

He focused his attention back on the television, trying once again to get his mind to concentrate on it, but it was hopeless. His head and his heart were fighting against each other for control; his mind wanted to watch Dr. Who, while his heart wanted to delve further into his psyche and find a way for him to show Amy how much he cared for her. He fought against it though, because he didn't want to search inside himself and give her too much, and run the risk of falling in love.

Love was nothing but an emotion, an emotion that would simply become a distraction. It was just something that would divert his attention him from his work, delaying the time when he would receive his Nobel Prize, but then look at Leonard. He had fallen in love like a hopeless teenager, and although Sheldon thought his work was below par, the rest of the world didn't seem to think so, Dr Stephen Hawking didn't think so.

The whole situation was utterly confusing for him, which wasn't a surprise because emotions usually confused him, although it was usually the emotions of others, and not his own. He usually understood what he felt very well, like he had said to Amy in the past, 'when he has a feeling he knows it.' But right now he didn't know it, he didn't know what he was feeling and why his brain wouldn't focus on the television, it was infuriating. He shouldn't have let Penny sit on his spot. He should have forced her off, whether it woke up Leonard or not. He should have taken the punch to the throat, because she would have left and wouldn't have put all of these silly thoughts into his brain, and he would have been able to watch Dr. Who in peace.

He battled with himself for much of the rest of the evening. They ordered food, which he barely ate. He tried to watch his regular listing of programmes, but his brilliant mind refused to focus and he went to bed, a little before nine o'clock, tired, annoyed and completely confused. But even although he had gone to bed, his mind refused to let him sleep. It kept on running through everything that was going on around him, all the change and all the emotions. He thought of Amy and whether she really did deserve better than him. No, that couldn't be true, he was Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, the world class physicist with an IQ higher than most, there simply was no-one better. But Penny wasn't referring to his brilliant mind, she was more interested in what was in that infernal book. Why did all women have to be so driven by their biological needs? If they didn't his relationship with Amy would be perfect. He wasn't completely opposed to the idea of a physical relationship, he had been making small strides in that area recently, he just wasn't sure if those small strides were enough for her. He hoped they were, because he didn't want Penny to be right, he didn't want to lose Amy.

* * *

Leonard continued with his work for a good while after Sheldon had gone to bed. He didn't really take note of the fact that he had gone to bed rather early, but for these past few days he had barely taken note of anything that was happening around him. He was excited about leaving for his trip but excitement was only one of the emotions he felt. He also felt scared, anxious, worried, sad, and nervous. It was a boiling pot of emotions and they were distracting him from completing his work.

It was past twelve before he finished his paper, and he almost headed straight to his room on autopilot. It was only when he reached the corridor he remembered Penny was waiting up in her apartment for him. The thought made him smile, the one thing he really needed right now was to be in her arms. That nap earlier on in the day had been wonderful, and it was made that way because of her. He had snapped at her, she should have walked out, but she didn't, she just figured out why he was being that way and helped him fix it. He loved that, he was going to miss that.

He grabbed his phone and keys and left his apartment to go to hers. He quietly opened her door and tiptoed through the dark room to her bedroom door just in case she had fallen asleep, and when he opened her door he saw that she had. She had tried to stay up, that was evident by the laptop that was sitting on the empty side of the bed, still buzzing with power; she hadn't been out long. He took off his clothes so he was in just his t-shirt and boxers and headed to the bathroom to clean his teeth, walking ever so slowly to keep the noise level down.

Once he was finished in the bathroom he unplugged her laptop, turned it off and sat it on the floor then took his glasses off and crawled into bed beside her. She was facing away from him, curled up in a little ball, but as he moved over to cuddle in beside her, she made some sleepy noises and turned around. Leonard squinted in the darkness to see if she was awake, and when his eyes adjusted to the dark light, he saw that she wasn't; she was still sleeping soundly. He smiled, he was glad. Glad that she was still asleep and he hadn't woken her up, and glad that she was now facing him, because he felt like he had hardly seen her all day. It didn't matter that she was asleep, all that mattered was that he was with her now, looking at her beautiful face and he honestly wondered for more than a few moments if he was going to be able to survive four months of sleeping in a bed without her in it. Over one hundred and twenty nights he would have to spend alone, on a ship, in the middle of the sea. Leonard felt a tear drop from his heavy eyes as he pushed her hair back behind her ear. If there was going to be anything that would stop him from going on this trip, it was her and he knew deep down that all she would have to do is ask him to stay. She would only have to tell him she was going to miss him, that she loved him and that she didn't want him to go and he would stay. Part of him hoped she would do it and give him the excuse he needs to cancel the trip, four months was too long to spend without the person you loved. But she wouldn't say it, he knew she wouldn't.

Leonard shuffled closer to her, putting his face so close to hers that their noses were gently pressed together. He gave her a little kiss on the lips and rested his hand on her hips as he drifted off to sleep, trying his best to remove all thoughts of leaving her in only ten days.


	3. Breaking Routine

**Okay so, this wasn't planned to be uploaded until after the finale since there is a teeny tiny spoiler in it, but for any of you who have followed my previous fanfictions, you know that I am absolutely horrible at sticking to a plan and keeping people waiting, especially when I already have the chapters written out. So screw the spoiler, it's only a small one anyway :P This weeks episode got me all excited about the Shamy and I just had to upload this chapter. So enjoy :) **

* * *

**Breaking Routine**

"Leonard, I still don't see why you feel the need to take me shopping with you." Sheldon moaned. "It seems like something you are perfectly capable of doing on your own."

"I need to get some things for my trip Sheldon, and it _is_ new comic book night, so you will want to go to the comic book store later won't you?" Leonard replied and Sheldon reluctantly nodded. "Well, since there is no way I am going out and then coming home, just to collect you and take you out again, you need to come shopping with me and we can go to the comic book store afterwards." Leonard put on his jacket then grabbed his bag, phone and keys. "So, unless you want to learn how to drive, take the bus, or not go for comics at all, you will have to come shopping too."

Sheldon huffed, "Alright." He grumbled like a child, unhappy that he had to do something he didn't want to.

They both left the apartment and drove to the mall, while Sheldon continued to complain to Leonard about how much he hated shopping malls, there was too many people rushing around for his liking. Too many people carrying unknown germs and spreading them across every railing and door handle in the place.

"What can you possibly need to get anyway?" Sheldon said from the passenger seat. "I'm sure the ship will be supplied with all the things you will need to keep you alive for four months."

Leonard sighed, a little sick of listening to him complain. "I just have to pick up my prescriptions and get a few toiletries like a new toothbrush and shaving cream. And I want to buy a warm, heavy jacket because it will be freezing out in the middle of the sea."

"We survived three months in the North Pole without shaving remember, Leonard? And don't you have that blue blanket with the arms?" He said flapping his arms in front of him then shook his head. "Use that to keep you warm… I hate shopping."

Leonard shook his head and didn't even bother to answer him. He parked the car and headed into the shopping mall.

"Sheldon, why don't you wait here while I go pick this stuff up?" Leonard said as they stopped outside a small café. "Here," He reached into his bag and gave him the Nintendo Ds that he had packed, knowing that he would probably need it at some point.

Sheldon's expression brightened and he happily took the machine from Leonard's hands and began to play, while Leonard headed off to collect the stuff he needed.

About half an hour later Leonard returned to Sheldon sitting in the same spot that he had left him in. Sheldon looked up and groaned when he spotted Leonard walking over to him.

"Oh, can I stay here just a little longer?" He whined. "I am sooo close to finishing this level."

Leonard gave a small smile, he really was like a little child sometimes, and then shook his head, "You can play it in the car."

Sheldon nodded and the both of them headed back out the way they had come.

"Wait." Leonard said as he stopped in his tracks and looked into a shop window.

"What?" Sheldon asked looking rather confused.

"I want to go in here." He said as he headed over to the jewellery store.

"Oh, no." Sheldon moaned. "I thought you were done shopping?"

"I just want to look." He opened the shop door and Sheldon reluctantly followed.

Leonard began to browse the selection of necklaces, rings, bracelets, watches and earrings that the shop had to offer. He had no idea what he planned on getting, he hadn't even intended on getting anything, but he had spotted the shop from the corner of his eye and something drew him over to it. He figured he could have a look around, maybe get something to give to Penny before he leaves.

Sheldon browsed the displays too, but not for jewellery. Instead he gave the shop assistant what he would call constructive criticism over how she had displayed the products, but everyone else would just say he was being pernickety. He told her how she should have all of the same products bundled together instead of arranged by price like she had and the poor lady could do nothing but smile and nod.

Leonard felt a little bad for the lady as he listened to Sheldon tell her how to do her job, but she didn't have to deal with him everyday, so she was lucky really. Eventually he came to the woman's rescue, asking if he could see a small heart locket necklace that had caught his eye. The woman agreed very enthusiastically and immediately headed over to the glass to pull out what he was looking at.

Sheldon came over to join them as the lady held the necklace out in front of Leonard. He took the necklace in his hand and studied it with a smile. It was quite beautiful and he could certainly picture it hanging from Penny's neck.

"I don't think it would really suit you Leonard." Sheldon said over his shoulder.

"It's not for me dumbass," Leonard replied. "It's for Penny."

"Dumbass? I think you will find that my IQ is higher than yours." He said. "So... What did you do?"

Leonard turned and looked at him with a frown, "What?"

"I thought we bought jewellery for our old ladies when we had done something wrong, but didn't want to suffer through any emotional confrontations?" Sheldon stated. "Like when I bought Amy the tiara."

"Not this time Sheldon." Leonard said shaking his head. "Sometimes you can get your girlfriend jewellery just because you want to."

Sheldon gave an unconvinced nod as he contemplated what Leonard had said, until a sign on the glass box in front of them caught his eye. "Oh look Leonard." He said, "It's on clearance."

Leonard nodded although he wasn't really listening and handed the necklace back to the lady. "I'll take it." He said with a smile and the woman rung up his purchase.

As Leonard drove them from the mall to the comic book store, Sheldon decided to study his friends purchase instead of playing the Nintendo as he had intended. "So, you don't have any reason at all for buying this for Penny? You are just doing it because you want to?" He asked quietly.

Leonard was a little shocked, Sheldon never really took an interest in those sorts of things. "Um, well... I guess there probably is a reason," He said with a shrug. "I want her to have something that will remind her of me while I am gone."

"I highly doubt she will forget you in four months." Sheldon said with a frown.

"Yeah I know." He said with a sigh. He was about to begin to try and explain what he meant to him, but quickly decided against it. "You don't understand Sheldon."

Leonard was right, he didn't understand, but he wanted to. "What are you going to put inside of it?" He said as he opened the locket.

"I'm not sure, a picture of me maybe."

"Why?"

"I don't know." Leonard shrugged, "So I will always be around, even when I'm gone…"

Sheldon looked at his friend for a few seconds, taking in the words he had just said. It was silly thing to say. Penny wouldn't really have him, she would only have a picture of him, but for some reason that sentiment still gave him a warm feeling that he couldn't place. He was once again confused and emotion was the reason behind it. It was frustrating and at that moment he decided he didn't want to go to the comic book store anymore. He didn't want to buy a new comic book, he wanted to understand what was going on in his head. He wanted to get rid of this confusion, so he could relax again. He needed to see Amy, he was sure that she was the cause of all of this, even although it had been Penny who brought it to the surface.

"Leonard, can you drop me at Amy's house instead?" He asked quietly.

Leonard turned to him, his jaw slightly dropped in shock. It was new comic book night, he always went to the comic book store on comic book night and Sheldon _never_ broke routine. "Yeah sure… Why?" He tentatively asked with a raised eyebrow.

Sheldon thought over an answer for a few seconds. He didn't want to tell Leonard his reason behind it, but he also knew that he was unable to lie without a lot of pre-planning. "Oh, um… no reason." He said with a shrug as he tried to hide the ticks that would give him away.

Leonard really wanted to push him further, to pull out his reason for breaking the routine, but he decided against it. He could tell that he was beyond uncomfortable, and he didn't like to see him that way if he could help it and if truth be told, he was rather glad that he didn't have to go to the comic book store tonight. He dropped Sheldon off at Amy's apartment building and then happily drove off to see Penny.

Sheldon walked slowly up the buildings stairs, beginning to feel a little nervous about what was going to tell Amy. No doubt she would want an explanation for his unscheduled arrival, and he just didn't have a reasonable explanation for her. He changed his mind several times as he made his way up those stairs, turning back on occasion as his need to keep to his routine and go to the comic book store flooded him. But as soon as he walked down a few steps, something dragged him back up and eventually he was outside her door.

*Knock, knock, knock,* "Amy." He said, loud enough for her to hear him, but still fairly quietly.

*Knock, knock, knock,* "Amy."

*Knock, knock, knock,* "Amy."

Sheldon stopped and within seconds the door was open and Amy was standing in front of him with a face full of confusion. "Sheldon?"

Sheldon gripped on to the strap of his bag, tilted his head and frowned. "I don't understand your confusion, you have met me before."

"Yes, I know but, what are you doing here?" She asked, standing back so that he could enter her apartment. "Tonight is comic book night."

"Um… Well, the comic book store was closed." He said with his best attempt at a nonchalant shrug as he entered her apartment, while his eye furiously twitched.

Amy knew he was lying, it was fairly obvious, but she didn't really care. Whatever the reason may be, he was here with her instead of with his friends. For some reason he had broken his routine to come and see her. He wanted to spend time with her, time that had previously been allocated to be spent at the comic book store. The thought made Amy smile, it made her heart leap and her stomach flip, and she just about held in a squeal of excitement.

"Do you want something to drink?" Amy asked as she shut the door, trying to act as normal as possible in her excited state.

"No thank you." He replied, taking off his bag and sitting down in the spot on her couch that he had deemed his.

"Are you sure? I think I still have some Strawberry Quick leftover from Thursday."

Sheldon turned around to her and widened his eyes as a grin took over his face. "Oh really?!" He said excitedly, before relaxing into the sofa again, "I constantly underestimate you Amy Farrah Fowler!"

"Oh…" Amy replied sheepishly with a dismissive wave. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and poured her boyfriend a glass of his favourite pink fluid and handed it to him as she sat beside him on the couch.

"Thank you." He said with a genuine smile as he reached for the remote to change the channel on the television.

"Hey!" Amy said as he began to flick through the channels. Sheldon turned and frowned, looking quite puzzled while Amy took the remote from his hand, "I was watching that."

"But look," He said pointing to the television, "Star Trek: The Original Series is on!" He shook his head, "I highly doubt there is something on that will be better than that!"

"Sheldon, you can't come over to my apartment completely unannounced and expect to take over what I was watching." She said as she put her original programme on. "I am watching this."

Sheldon looked at Amy for a second and then to the television. He wanted to protest but she was right, this was her home and it wasn't date night. He had come over without permission and he shouldn't expect to just take over. "What is this anyway?" He asked glumly.

"'The Real Housewives of Orange County'." She said to him, "Penny got me _hooked_."

"Amy, Amy, Amy." He said shaking his head. "I don't understand why you continue to let that simpleton into your head. You are quite brilliant, and she has reduced you to watching basic reality television."

"Oh Sheldon, lighten up." She said as she relaxed into the sofa. "It is actually quite interesting studying the behaviour of these women in different social situations."

"I think interesting might be a bit of an exaggeration." He retorted.

Sheldon sat back and placed his hands on his knees as he watched the tedious television programme. As he sat there, he asked himself what on earth he was doing here. He could be standing in the comic book store, taking in the sweet smell of newly printed pages and sifting through the abundance of books on offer. He could have made his purchase, gone home and went straight to his spot to get lost in the world of adventure the comic would have to offer. But no, he chose this. He chose to sit and watch mind numbing television, although he had to admit the Strawberry Quick enhanced the experience spectacularly. Sheldon started to drum his fingers on his knee. He was here because he wanted to see Amy and part of him wanted her to know that. But he couldn't say it. He became agitated as he moved his hands to rest on his lap and shifted his weight.

"Is everything okay Sheldon?" Amy asked. Something had to be up with him, he was constantly fidgeting and she still had no idea why he had even came over to her apartment, not that she was complaining, it was just unusual. Ever since they had signed their relationship agreement, there were rules that they had to follow. If Amy wanted to come over to his apartment to spend time with him on a day that wasn't allocated as a date night, she had to give him plenty of notice, and even then, if that day coincided with one of his weekly routines; comic book night, vintage video game night, or laundry night, she would be refused. The fact that he had come to her apartment without so much as a phone call was odd and the fact that it was on comic book night was even odder. Something was definitely wrong with him.

Sheldon smiled at her concern. At least he assumed it was concern. She really was quite sweet, always around and trying her hardest to make him a little more at ease when he feels the most uncomfortable. He nodded and said, "Yes, Amy. I am perfectly okay." He wasn't lying. He was okay, the only thing that bothered him, was that he wanted to show her. He wanted to do what Penny had said and show her some sort of affection to let her know he cared, because he did. He may still be slightly confused about why he was suddenly feeling unable to focus properly on anything, but he wasn't confused about that. he definitely cared for her.

But how was he going to show her that? He wasn't going to kiss her; he wasn't ready for that sort of intimacy yet. He thought about holding her hand, but decided against it because he had done that on occasion in the past. He wanted to push himself. He wanted to give her something he hadn't already to let her know he was progressing. Sheldon thought about Leonard and Penny and about how they would show affection to each other as they sat on the couch together, hoping it would give him some sort of idea of what to do. They would cuddle usually, but he really wasn't a fan of cuddling, and he certainly didn't want Amy to start calling him 'cuddles' again.

He turned his head slightly and caught her eye before looking ahead again. His heart rate was quickening and it was unnerving. He suddenly noticed how close they were sitting together. Her arm was touching his and it puzzled him that he hadn't noticed it before now.

He remembered then that Leonard and Penny would touch each other. Leonard would often place his hand on Penny's leg or knee and she would reciprocate by holding his hand, or his arm, or by placing her head on his shoulder, sometimes both. Sheldon thought it over for a few seconds… He could do that. He could already touch Amy without feeling too uncomfortable and it was a simple step up from holding her hand. Yes, he could definitely do that.

Sheldon shifted his weight as he slowly moved his hand back up to his knee and began to nervously drum his fingers again, before making the quick jump from his right knee to her left. He said nothing when he done it, keeping his focus on the television, trying to act like what he had done was no big deal, but it was.

Amy sat frozen in shock. Sheldon had placed his hand on her knee with absolutely no encouragement from her. She refused to move, scared that any movement she made would freak him out and make him remove his hand immediately. She turned to look at him; his attention was still on the television, although she knew he wasn't watching it, he wouldn't waste space in his brain taking in such rubbish.

Amy smiled as she looked ahead of her again and ever so slowly moved her hand to rest on top of his. She was being bold and part of her expected him to instantly jump up upon realizing that this intimacy was too much for him. She felt him stiffen up a little, but to her relief, he didn't move. Amy kept her hand there and barely breathed. She had no idea why this was happening, but she was oh so glad it was.

Eventually Sheldon relaxed his body and they both sat there quite comfortably, holding hands on Amy's knee. She reached over and grabbed the remote that was beside her. "Here Sheldon, you can watch your programme now if you want." She said quietly.

Sheldon smiled, "Are you saying I can watch Star Trek?"

Amy smiled back at him, as her heart swelled up at his adorable expression, "Yes."

Sheldon timidly patted her knee and grinned as he took the remote from her with his free hand, being affectionate was already paying off.


	4. Pillow Talk

**Pillow Talk**

Penny groaned as she heard her phone ringing on her bedside table. She lifted her head from Leonard's chest to check the time on the digital clock that sat beside his glasses on the table. It was only just after 8am, who the hell would be calling at this time? She turned over to grab the phone from her table and saw Amy's name on the screen.

"This better be good Amy." She croaked when she answered the call.

"Sheldon touched my knee!" She sang excitedly down the phone. "He touched my knee! Ohhhh, he touched my knee!"

Penny could almost see her bouncing around her apartment. "Wow Amy, I hope you used protection." Penny said then giggled at her own joke as she slowly sat up, checking on Leonard to make sure she hadn't disturbed him with her movement.

"It was incredible, bestie!" She beamed, ignoring Penny's sarcastic comment, and sighing happily. "I didn't even initiate it, he just done it! All on his own!"

"Jeez Amy, if you get this excited over him touching your knee, I can only wonder what you will do when he manages to get to second base!" She giggled, then let out a small yawn and stretched out her free arm. "Seriously though, that's great, i'm glad the Shel-bot is finally becoming a little more human! Although you could have waited until later today to tell me instead of waking me up!"

"Sorry, I just got too excited, I had to tell someone! I will let you go now, time to let Bernadette in on the latest gossip! Bye bestie!" Amy said happily and before Penny could even reply, she hung up.

Penny let out a slight chuckle, put the phone back on the table and as she turned to cuddle back into Leonard's side, he woke up. "What was all that about?" He groggily asked, cracking open one eye.

"It was just Amy," She said as she got herself comfortable on his chest again. "She was a little overexcited because Sheldon touched her knee." She said with a giggle and looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest as her fingers played with the material on his t-shirt.

Leonard opened his eyes fully and frowned. "Did he do it by accident or did he mean to do it?" He asked as he reached over to grab his glasses from the night stand and put them on.

"He meant it," She said with a nod. "And Amy said he done it without her even asking him."

"Wow, that's... unusual." Leonard said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah I guess it is a little," Penny laid her head back down as her fingers found their way up his t-shirt and she started to graze them along his bare stomach. "Especially for Sheldon... Maybe he is starting to take my advice."

"What advice?"

"I told him he should be more affectionate towards her because she puts up with a lot of crap from him. I didn't think he would actually listen to me though, he never does." She said with a slight giggle.

"Yeah I guess it is odd that he would listen to you." Leonard chuckled.

"Hey!" Penny said and playfully nipped the skin on his stomach. "Only I am allowed to make fun of myself."

"Ow! Okay sorry." He giggled, before squeezing her shoulder and kissing the top of her head. "He has been acting weird lately though."

"What like, weirder than usual?"

"Yeah. I mean, when was the last time Sheldon broke his routine for something he wasn't required to do? And he has been awfully quiet these days... Not that that is a bad thing."

"Maybe he is just stuck on something at work. Like that time he went extra crazy and got a job at The Cheesecake Factory."

"Hmm, I dunno. It's different this time." Leonard said as he began to trace his fingers up and down Penny's side. "It's less like he is stuck on something and more like he is… I dunno, just, thinking more. I don't know I can't quite explain it, but _something_ is up with him."

"Hmm... Maybe he is thinking about how much he is going to miss his little buddy."

Leonard pondered the thought for a second, but quickly dismissed it. He would miss him doing stuff for him, that was a given, but he was almost sure Sheldon wouldn't miss his presence. "It's probably got more to do with the fact i'm getting to go and not him."

Penny shrugged and closed her eyes, silently wishing that Sheldon _had_ been the one that was chosen to go instead of Leonard as she began to fall back to sleep.

Leonard noticed that Penny's breathing had slowed and the patterns she had been drawing on his stomach had stopped. He knew then that she was drifting back off to sleep, and as much as part of him wanted to let her, another part really wanted to keep her awake so he could talk to her. He wanted to spend as much conscious time with her as possible, because they only had five days left together.

"Penny?" He said softly, squeezing her shoulder again.

"Yeah?" She said, snapping out of her sleep mode and turning her head to face him again.

"Do you realize that this is going to be the last Saturday morning we spend together for four months?"

Penny turned her head back and sighed, "Wow Leonard, way to bum me out."

"Sorry." He chuckled. "But it is."

"Hmm... Maybe not." Penny said with a shrug.

"How?" Leonard asked frowning.

Penny turned around so she was laying half of her body on top of him. She removed her hand from under his t-shirt and put her arm in front of her to rest her chin on as she looked up at him. "Well, I might just kidnap you in the middle of the night and hide you away for the next four months."

Leonard smiled, "Is that your way of saying you don't want me to go?"

Penny held his gaze and smiled back. "It's my way of saying they can't take you away from me if they can't find you."

Leonard continued to smile, but it faded as he noticed that she hadn't actually said she didn't want him to leave. She hadn't even said that she was going to miss him, although deep down he knew she would. "_Do_ you want me to stay?" He almost didn't ask it, but his need to actually hear what he thought she felt, made him say the words.

Penny stared at him for a few seconds in slight disbelief, wondering if he really didn't know how much she wanted him to stay, but at the same time feeling quite unable to say those words, for fear of her built up tears coming flooding out. "It doesn't matter what I want." She replied sadly.

"Yes it does." He replied instantly, keeping his eyes firmly on hers.

Penny sighed and sat up on her elbow, resting her head on her hand as she looked down at him, with her other hand resting on his chest. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he needed to hear what she felt, but that didn't make it any easier to say. "Leonard... of _course_ I want you to stay." She said with a slight crack in her voice. "But I know you have to go... This is your career... I..." Penny stuttered and shook her head, "I can't ask you to stay just for me." Penny took a breath to hold back her tears and gave him a small smile, then reached her free hand out to touch his curls. "Stephen Hawking needs all that genius knowledge that you have hidden under here." She said quietly then slowly moved her hand down his face. "And he can't have that without taking all of the rest of you too," She moved her hand down from his head, back to his chest and let out a small, sad sigh. "It's going to suck Leonard. I'm going to miss you so, _so_ much... but it's something you have to do and I just have to accept it." Tears rimmed her eyes, but she managed, somehow, to keep them from falling.

Leonard stared at her for a few moments with a look of pure adoration. He knew how hard it was for her to open up. Even now, after they had known each other for so long, he knew she still found the idea of being completely honest and open with someone hard, and it made these moments just that little bit more special.

After a few seconds he reached his hand out to her face, pulling her close to him and capturing her lips with his. "I'm going to miss you too." He said quietly before kissing her again.

Moments later, they broke apart and Penny rested her head on his chest again with a sigh. She had a slight pain in her heart, still feeling emotional from what she had just said to him. She meant every word of it but it was the first time she had actually told him. She wanted to burst out in tears, the ones she had been holding in for so long, but she couldn't because when she cries, he cries and if he got that emotional he would cancel his trip and that was something she couldn't let him do.

It was only four months anyway, she could handle that. The North Sea, that wasn't too far away was it? It was then she realized that she didn't actually know, but luckily she had someone beside her that had an answer for everything. "Leonard? Where is the North Sea?" She asked before looking up at him, "And if you say North I promise you will regret it!"

Leonard let out a soft chuckle, "It's in Europe, honey." He said and before she could ask 'where abouts in Europe?', he put his hands into a sort of 'U' shape. "Just imagine this hand here," He said moving his left hand, "Is the coast of Britain, and this one," He said moving his right, "Is the coast of Norway and Denmark, then along here," He said wiggling his joined thumbs, "Is the Netherlands, Germany, Belgium and a _little_ bit of France. All of this space in between them, is The North Sea, and i'll be somewhere in the middle of there."

"Oh." She said with a nod as she took a hold of his left hand with hers, "I've always wanted to go to Europe, maybe I could just hide in your suitcase and go with you." She giggled.

"I will be in a ship in the middle of the sea, Penny, I won't _actually_ be visiting Europe." He chuckled, "And I don't think you would fit in my case anyway."

"Hey! I bet I could if I tried." Penny said, before pulling their joined hands towards her face and kissing his knuckles. "So... What do you want to do with our last Saturday together then?"

"Well, as unromantic as this sounds, you've just reminded me that I need to pack my suitcase, so I should probably do that."

"Really?" Penny scrunched up her face. "That's how you want to spend your last weekend with me?"

"Well, no. Of course there are plenty of other things I would rather do with you, but I need to pack. If I don't do most of it this weekend, then I will have to do it after work during the week." He said then shrugged, "I think it's just easier to get it done now."

Penny sighed, "Alright, I guess." She said with more than a little disappointment. "But you don't have to start packing yet right?"

"No," He glanced over at the clock, "it's only half eight, we still have the rest of the morning to fill." He said with a grin.

Penny smiled and lightly bit her bottom lip, before moving her left leg over his body so she was straddling him. She placed her hands on his stomach, under his t-shirt, and began to slowly move them upwards towards his chest, then leant down and kissed his soft lips, before pulling away slightly from him and whispering, "And I think I know the perfect way to spend it."


	5. Check!

**I have to say i'm so surprised I have been able to stop myself from updating this every day, considering I have up until chapter 13, here on my laptop ready and waiting! I am learning some self control when it comes to updating! Go me!**

**I hope everyone is still enjoying this story and I have my plans for how I am going to be progressing Sheldon and Amy, but it isn't going to be quick, I am trying to keep in in character so the progress will be slow, but it will be there, promise :) Anyway as always, any and all reviews are appreciated so don't hesitate in telling me what you think!**

* * *

**Check!**

Amy and Penny were sitting in 4a, eating their Chinese takeout food while they watched Leonard and Sheldon pack Leonard's suitcase in their own unique way. Sheldon was standing by the whiteboard, which had a list of all the things Leonard needed to take with him, listed under 'essential' and 'optional'. The coffee table had been moved out of the way and replaced with piles of clothes, various medications, toiletries, comic books, figurines, photographs and games.

"Alright Leonard, I am going to start going down our essential list and you pack them once they have been scored off." Sheldon said as he stood with the whiteboard pen in hand.

"Okay," Leonard replied with a nod, looking at the piles of stuff in front of him. "Go for it."

"Alright, we have six pairs of pants."

Leonard searched the floor for the pile of pants, then rushed over and put them neatly into the suitcase that was sitting beside the far end of the couch. "Done."

Sheldon huffed and shook his head as he turned around to face Leonard, "The word is 'check', Leonard."

Leonard sighed, "Does it make a difference?"

"Of course it makes a difference!" He said quickly.

"How?!" Leonard exclaimed using his hands to emphasise his confusion.

Sheldon sighed, "The word 'check' implies that it has been checked off the list, we _have_ a list," He said pointing to the board with the pen, "therefore you have to 'check' them off."

Leonard huffed and then glumly agreed for no other reason than to get him to shut up, and Sheldon happily crossed the pants off the list.

Amy leaned over from Sheldon's spot on the couch, to Penny who was sitting on Leonard's chair, "It's so hot when they have these testosterone fuelled arguments isn't it?" She whispered.

"Really?" Penny screwed up her face, "_That's_ what you would call a testosterone fuelled argument?" She whispered back. "Sounds more like an old married couple bickering to me!"

"Amy and Penny," Sheldon said, turning around from facing the whiteboard again, "were you two not informed as children that it is rude to whisper when you are in the company of others?"

"Sorry Sheldon." They both said in unison and Sheldon resumed his position facing the board.

"Amy was just telling me how _hot_ she thinks you are." Penny said, trying to hold in her giggle.

Sheldon shot around and gave Penny a glare and a disapproving shake of the head, before turning back to his whiteboard. "Alright now, Leonard, seven t-shirts."

"How long is this going to take?" Penny whined as she put her empty food box on the floor.

"Well, if you would stop interrupting us it will go a _lot_ faster!" Sheldon replied.

Penny scoffed, "I wasn't asking you _Sheldon_!" She said giving him a cold glare then turned to Leonard who was packing his t-shirts and softened her expression, "Leonaaard, how long will this take? I'm bored."

Leonard turned to her and offered a sympathetic smile, "We have only just started Penny." He said and she sighed. "Why don't you help? That will be the best way to get this finished quickly. And you know..." He said as he walked over, crouched down in front of her and took a hold of her hand. "If I get all this done now, we will have the rest of today and all of Sunday to spend together, just the two of us."

A wide smile spread across Penny's face and she immediately jumped up, "Alright guys, let's get this thing over with."

Sheldon then continued to rhyme off the rest of the items on the 'essentials' list, while Leonard, Penny and Amy all picked up each thing he said and packed it before shouting, 'check'. Before long all of the essentials were packed and all that was left on the floor were the 'optional' items; figurines, some comic books, a small stack of various pictures and a few portable gaming systems. Leonard sat in the middle of the floor, legs crossed and surrounded by the objects while he battled through the decision of which ones to take.

Eventually he decided which comics to bring, with a lot of help from Sheldon, as well as a few figurines to decorate his desk and his room, along with the stack of photographs. He then decided to take his PSP over his Nintendo Ds and Penny clapped with joy then jumped up from her seat, thinking that the packing was over.

"We aren't done yet honey." He said and she immediately slumped back on to the chair. "We haven't packed any formal wear… or any fancy dress costumes." He said as he studied his case.

Penny frowned, "What? Why would you need any formal wear on a ship, and why on _earth_ would you need a costume?"

"Well there might be some sort of formal gathering at the end of the trip, and as for the costume," Leonard shrugged, "I dunno, just in case there is a dress up party, I wouldn't want to be the only one without a costume. Ooooh!" He said excitedly, shaking his hand, "I can go as Flash!"

"No you can't, I'm Flash." Sheldon quickly replied, shaking his head.

"But you won't _be_ there!"

"That doesn't matter, I'm still flash in this little Justice League, so you can't be Flash, whether I am there or not._ You_ are Green Lantern" He said as he walked around Leonard's chair to take his place in his spot.

"How about instead of wearing a costume you just wear a suit and say you are James Bond or something." Penny said with a smile, "Then you won't look stupid if no-one else is dressed up and well, you are quite sexy in a suit." She said teasingly, raising an eyebrow and biting on her inner lip, making Leonard rather flushed.

"I don't think that is such a good idea, Penny." Amy said and Penny frowned with confusion. "Do you really want him going to a party dressed in something that makes him look 'sexy', in a ship full of people who have been at sea for four months and are, no doubt, going to be quite sexually frustrated? Leonard's 'sexy' suit might just encourage some young, sexually starved lady to _pounce_ on him." Amy said with a slight chuckle, whilst Sheldon looked on at the girls with a face of slight horror.

Penny's mouth opened in shock and she turned to Leonard who was shaking his head, "That's not going to happen." Leonard said before she could speak.

"Hmm," Penny said with a frown, "Maybe you _should_ just go as Green Arrow."

"Lantern." Sheldon corrected.

Penny rolled her eyes, "Whatever."

"Alright I'll bring my Green Lantern costume, but I'm still going to need the suit in case there is a formal party." Leonard said, trying to move the conversation along. He headed into his room and returned a few minutes later with his suit and costume.

"Look what else I forgot to put on the list!" He said as he pulled out the blue Snuggie from under the suit and grinned widely, "I can't forget to take this."

"Ah yes, the thing with the arms," Sheldon said moving his arms around.

Penny tilted her head at him, "Aww, you're taking the Snuggie?" Her voice became a little higher and at that moment she was hit with emotion as she was reminded of the time she had given him it, and the long, torturous three months that followed it. She took a deep breath and then quietly said, "Is this all done now? It doesn't look like there is anything else still to pack."

Penny watched as Leonard looked over the list and then to the suitcase that was now almost full, hoping that this would all be over and she and Leonard could go somewhere else to get away from the constant reminders that he was leaving. With each day that passed she found it harder to keep a hold of her emotions and even the simplest thing, like him taking the Snuggie she gave him, was making her well up with tears. She had an almost constant lump in her throat and although she knew she would have to let go of those tears at some point, she hoped she could stall them until after he had left, because then he wouldn't have to see her so upset.

"Hmm," Leonard said as he stood with his arms crossed and his hand up at his chin. "I think this is pretty much it. All that's left to pack is my carry on with my laptop and stuff. So... yeah, we are finished." Leonard headed over to his full case, put his suit and costume inside and began to attempt to zip it up, but after several failed attempts, he gave up. He stood back up and turned around to the group, looking rather defeated, "We need to take stuff out."

"No we don't!" Penny said jumping up and waving her hand dismissively, determined to get this over with. "I have dealt with this problem plenty of times, you just have to sit on it." She said before sitting on the case and squishing it down. "Okay now, zip it up Hofstadter!" She giggled.

"You've done this plenty of times?" Leonard raised his eyebrow and chuckled.

"Yeah, once during Spring Break, me and a few of the girls drove to Florida from Nebraska in a tiny little car. We had to pack all of our clothes into one suitcase because there was only enough room in the car for one. We needed two people to sit on top while the other two zipped it up. This is easy compared to that." She said as she bounced to try and push it down even more.

"Wow, be careful!" Leonard said rushing over to the case. "There are collectibles in there!"

"Oops, sorry." She said innocently. "Now come on, zip it up."

Leonard knelt down on the floor in front of the case and began to zip it up, whilst Amy told the group about her own experiences of 'spring break', which differed completely to Penny's. Penny gave her a sympathetic look as she sat on the case, and promised her that she and Bernadette will give her a real 'spring break' this summer, which made Amy more than a little excited. Leonard looked up at Penny with a furrowed brow after her promise, and she immediately added that it will of course be without the crazy amount of alcohol and casual sex, which made Amy groan in disappointment, and made Penny giggle.

Leonard grinned and shook his head as he continued to zip up the case, while Sheldon simply looked on at their conversation with confusion and after a few minutes of struggling with the zipper, Leonard finally got the suitcase closed. Penny jumped up and Leonard pushed the case over to the door, and then he and Penny moved the coffee table back to its original place.

Leonard took a quick glance at the case sitting beside the door and suddenly everything became very real. The case was packed, the flight was booked, he really was going. He felt his stomach begin to churn with nerves and he turned to Penny who gave him a small smile to cover up the fact that she was feeling exactly the same way.

A silence fell over the room, as each person in it thought of their friend leaving. Sheldon was hit with a sadness that he hadn't expected. Ever since he had found out about Leonard being chosen to work for Stephen Hawking the only real emotion he had felt was one of injustice. It should be him on that ship and not Leonard, after all, he was the one with the higher IQ. It made no sense at all to him that a man like Leonard would be chosen over a man like himself, but right now that feeling was gone and his chest became heavy.

Leonard was leaving. His best friend, his little buddy, and his roommate was leaving. What was he going to do without him? Sure there were good points; he wouldn't have to deal with the day to day conversations about tedious subjects that he constantly made him participate in and he would have full reign over the television. Yes, there were definitely good points to this arrangement. But it would certainly be odd not having him around. He was quite amusing sometimes and although he would never really admit it, he enjoyed his company. He stared at the suitcase with a dull expression, thinking about how much he was going to miss his friend, which surprised him immensely.

Amy spotted the sad look on Sheldon's face and it melted her heart. She wanted to give him a comforting hug, after all, she was his girlfriend and he had accepted those hugs from her in the past. But she knew he wouldn't appreciate, or accept any hug from her. He was beginning to become more comfortable with the idea of physical contact, she had learned that over the last few weeks, but he was nowhere near ready to show that type of growth to anyone but herself. He wasn't ready to accept physical contact in public, not yet. It saddened her slightly that she couldn't be the type of girlfriend she wanted to be because of his phobias, but she could tell he was trying and she took comfort in the hope that someday they would be able to have some type of a physical relationship.

So, instead of giving him that hug that she so wanted to give him, Amy offered him a comforting smile, and he gave her one back. She saw in his sad eyes that he was beginning to realize what was around the corner, that is best friend was leaving and she knew that these next few days, weeks and months were going to be quite hard on him. He wouldn't admit it of course, his ego wouldn't let him, but Amy knew and she was prepared to be his confidante, his shoulder to cry on, his loving, caring girlfriend who was there for him whenever he needed her.


	6. One Last Nerdy Boys Night

**One Last Nerdy Boys Night**

The silence that had fallen on the room slowly dissipated, and Leonard was about to thank Sheldon and Amy for their help and leave with Penny to go to her apartment to spend the rest of the evening with her, when the door swung open, and in walked Raj, Howard and Bernadette. The boys had their laptops, snacks and beers in hand and everyone besides Sheldon was surprised to see them.

"Hey buddy!" Raj exclaimed after taking a drink of beer. "You ready for your last guys night?"

"What?" Leonard replied, feeling rather confused considering no-one had mentioned this to him.

"Well, since you are leaving on Thursday and we know you will be pretty busy during the week," Howard said as he put the beer and snacks on the table. "We decided we should give you one last nerdy Saturday night with just the boys before you go!"

"Kind of like a going away bachelor party!" Raj said before turning to the girls and putting on a serious face, "Only without the strippers," A smile then spread across his face, "and with lots and lots of nerdy games."

"I already have a list of possible activities for the evening." Sheldon said as he got up from his spot and headed back to the whiteboard. He flipped it around to reveal another list, this time with different types of board, video and card games written on it.

Leonard was touched, he couldn't quite believe the trouble that everyone was going through for him, but he was torn. He wanted to spend the night with the guys, especially since they seemed so excited and had obviously planned it, but he had already told Penny he would spend the evening with her. "Guys, this was a great idea but-"

"Leonard," Penny said cutting him off. She had spotted the look on his face, the excitement of having a geeky night with the guys, and she had seen how torn he was between spending the night with her and letting his friends down, or spending the night with them, and letting her down, so she decided to make the decision easier for him. Penny walked over to him, touched his arm and quietly said, "Spend the night with the guys." She was disappointed that she wasn't going to get to spend the evening with him, but she also knew the other guys were going to miss him just like she was, and they wanted to spend some time with him before he left too. She couldn't be selfish and keep him all to herself, as much as she wanted too.

"Are you sure you don't want to do something tonight?" He asked.

"No. You have this night with the guys. The girls and I will have a girls night in my apartment, and we can have all day tomorrow together." She said putting her arms around his neck and giving him a soft kiss.

"Okay," Leonard said with a smile, "Just don't have too much wine tonight, I don't want our last full day together to be spent holding your hair back in the toilet."

Penny chuckled and quietly said, "Okay." She gave him another quick kiss and turned to the girls. "Alright girls, looks like its girl talk and wine time over at my apartment!" She exclaimed receiving various 'woop woops', mainly from Amy, as they left the apartment and headed to Penny's.

After the girls had left, Raj began to unload the other bottles of beer, setting them out on the kitchen counter, "So, what game we are going to play to kick off the night?"

"I think we should play..." Sheldon said as he looked over his list, "Oooh, Star Wars themed Monopoly!"

The rest of the guys looked at each other, and each of them had the same frown on their face, "No." Leonard said, "We don't want to play Monopoly."

"Oh, i'm sorry," Sheldon said unapologetically, "Are you suddenly qualified to speak, not only for yourself, but for the rest of the group too?" He said before looking hopefully in the direction of Raj. "Star Wars themed Monopoly Raj?"

"No, I don't want to play Monopoly either." Raj said and Sheldon turned his attention to Howard.

"Neither do I," Howard said and Sheldon huffed disappointingly.

Sheldon looked over the list again as he tapped the pen to his mouth, "What about Battleships?!" He asked excitedly.

Howard looked at Sheldon in disbelief for a second, while Raj and Leonard set out snacks, not wanting to get involved in the inevitable debate. "Really? You want to play Battleships?"

"Yes," Sheldon said, not understanding his friends' objection to playing that game. "I know it is only a two player game, but we could play it as a tournament!"

Howard continued to look at him with the same disbelief. "You want to play Battleships..." Howard said slowly, "a game that is solely focused around blowing up ships... right before your best friend goes away to spend four months... on a ship. Really Sheldon?"

Sheldon was about to say something back, when Raj interrupted him, "Okay, I think you two should stop arguing and let Leonard choose what we play, since this night_ is_ for him."

"Aw, thank you Raj." Leonard said with a smile before heading to the cupboard to search through the mountain of board games available. He could hear Sheldon in the background, grumbling about how he didn't understand why they didn't want to play Battleships _just_ because Leonard is going on a ship, followed by the exasperated sounds of Raj and Howard trying to explain it to him, whilst making fun of him at the same time. Leonard giggled as he listened to them, realizing that he was going to miss all of this too. His thoughts over the past few days had mostly been about Penny and how he was going to cope without her, he had completely forgotten how much he was going to miss everyone else.

Leonard was snapped out of his thoughts when he spotted a game that he wanted to play and dug it out of the pile. "Found one!" He shouted as he turned with the game in hand. "The Lord of The Rings themed Risk!" Leonard walked over to his chair and sat down with the box, then sat it on the table while the rest of the guys took a seat in their usual spots.

His choice was met with pleased comments all around, even from Sheldon, who was excited to play a game that he hadn't played in a while and they all happily set it up. Raj went to the kitchen and brought over some beers and a bottle of water for Sheldon.

"To our last boys' night until our buddy comes back!" Howard said as he raised his beer in the air.

The guys smiled and raised their glasses to clink together and said, "Cheers!" before settling in to their long, strategic game of Risk.

* * *

As soon as the girls entered Penny's apartment, the wine was brought over from the kitchen to the coffee table along with three glasses. Penny poured some wine into each glass and then sat back in her sofa, pulling her feet up and holding the glass beside her knee. Bernadette sat on the sofa beside Penny while Amy sat on the single chair. The conversation began to flow between the girls as they chitter chattered away about work, school and all the drama that came with it, and before long, the topic of Leonard leaving was brought up. Penny's heart sunk a little, just like it usually did when it was brought to her attention.

"So, Penny, how are you coping with him leaving?" Bernadette asked, full of concern. Penny knew that if there was anyone who would understand how she was feeling, it would be her, but she didn't want to open up. She was trying so hard to keep that wound from opening and if she began to talk about it, the stitches keeping it in place would break and she would break down, and she wasn't sure she would be able to stop the flow of tears if she let them fall.

Penny hadn't spoken for a few moments, and instead of realizing that she didn't want to talk about it, Amy thought that maybe she just needed a more specific question to answer. "Have you ever participated in a long distance relationship in the past?" She asked before sipping on her wine.

Penny shifted her gaze from the wine in her hand to Amy. It hadn't even occurred to her that she was going to be in a long distance relationship. To her, Leonard was just going away for a while, but it was more than just a while. Four months. It was the whole of the summer and then some. One third of the year she was going to spend without the one person she wanted to spend it with. Penny felt her eyes fill up as her chest tightened, it was happening again. She blinked away her tears and shook her head, "I… I don't really wanna talk about it," She croaked before clearing her throat. "Sorry. Can we… Can we just talk about something else tonight? Please?"

"Of course," Bernadette said softly to Penny, before turning her attention to Amy and grinning widely, "So what's with all of this knee touching then Amy?"

Amy instantly brightened up at the thought of being the centre of the girls' gossip for the evening, it so very rarely happened because she never really had any gossip to tell. But now she did, Sheldon had touched her knee and although, by their standards, it wasn't exactly earth shattering news, to her it was. The fact he had touched her knee, without coercion, without her even hinting at it, meant he wanted to do it, and the fact he wanted to do it, meant he was changing. Amy spilled each detail, each wonderful moment while the girls listened intently.

The excitement in Amy's voice perked Penny up considerably as she listened to her friend tell them about her wonderful, and unexpected evening with the great Sheldon. She was so glad that he was finally beginning to give Amy even a slice of what she deserved.

The girls giggled, talked and drank their way through the evening, and while Penny stuck to her word and only had one glass to ensure she was fresh for the next day, the same couldn't be said for Amy and Bernadette who polished off the rest of the two and a half bottles together. Penny couldn't help but laugh as for the first time, she was the sober one watching her friends slowly deteriorate as more and more alcohol swam in their veins. Bernadette's voice became increasingly high pitched with each sip, and she became just that little bit more sinister with the things she would say about people she worked with. Amy on the other hand continued to tell the girls about Sheldon, although she had moved on from their night at her apartment and told them all about their night in his bedroom that 'Dungeons and Dragons' night.

Before any of them knew it, it was past midnight and Penny couldn't help but let out a slight yawn of tiredness, which alerted the other girls to how late it was. Bernadette shakily stood up and said, "Right, I think it's about time I interrupted that boys night over there, and take my little astronaut home!"

Penny giggled at her drunken friend as Amy stood up too and said, "Great idea! Let's get our men back from their nerdy world!"

"Guys are you sure you want-" Penny began but was cut off by Amy taking a hold of her hand and pulling her up.

"Come on bestie!"

The girls headed over to 4a and swung the door open to the sight of Sheldon, Leonard and Howard playing on their laptops.

"Howiiiieeeee!" Bernadette said excitedly as she jumped down onto the sofa beside him, throwing her arms around his neck while Penny walked over to sit beside Leonard on the arm of his chair.

"Woah, Bernie, how much wine have you had!" Howard laughed, as Bernadette pulled him towards her and began to kiss his face repeatedly.

"Sorry about this," Penny whispered to Leonard as she leant into him, putting an arm around his shoulders and resting her head against his, "I tried to stop them coming over but they insisted."

"It's alright, the night was winding down anyway, Raj has already passed out in my bed." He chuckled.

Penny giggled, "Looks like you will be staying at mines tonight then." Penny said and gave him a kiss on the lips, before their attention was turned to a stumbling Amy.

"Sheldon!" Amy said as she tried her best to seductively walk over to him, "What do you think about heading to your room and-" Amy stopped and gagged slightly, before taking a breath and continuing what she was saying while Sheldon looked at her in horror, terrified of what she was going to try and do. "Getting out those Dungeons and-" Amy stopped again and put her hand up to her mouth, before running to the bathroom.

"Sheldon," Leonard said as he motioned with his head to the bathroom and giggled. "Your girlfriend is being sick in the toilet and social convention dictates you must go in and help her."

Sheldon began to protest, but upon hearing Amy throwing up in the bathroom and receiving glares from the rest of the group, he reluctantly got up and headed into the bathroom to help her.

Bernadette then stood up and practically dragged Howard out of the apartment, he turned around at the door and shouted a quick, "Bye guys!" before being pulled out of the door by his wife.

Leonard and Penny looked at each other and let out a small laugh, then Penny had a quick glance around the apartment and saw the empty bottles of beer, boxes of games and empty bowls that were once filled with snacks scattered around. "Do you want help cleaning all this up?" She asked.

"Nah, I think it can wait until morning." Leonard replied with a smile before shutting off his laptop, taking hold of Penny's hand and walking with her over to her apartment, leaving the mess behind.


	7. Lazy Sunday

**Okay I wasn't going to upload this yet but I am just sooo full of excitement from the finale that I had too! I watched it this morning and was pretty much blown away with it. I have to say I was expecting to be a little disappointed because I have built myself up to it so much with writing this story, but I wasn't at all, kudos to the actors for that one :) **

**I should quickly say that in future chapters I plan to have L/P Skype when Leonard leaves, but in the episode they mentioned something about email and calling each other, and it made me wonder if they actually would be able to Skype! This is the trouble with writing stuff like this before actually seeing the episode! Anyway I am going to go ahead with the Skype stuff because I have a lot of fun stuff planned for it and because I kind of already have some of the stuff written out and I don't really wanna change it all. And well if Howard can Skype from space, surely Leonard can Skype from the sea! haha This is all irrelevant to this chapter but I wanted to put it out there anyway just so you know when the time comes! Now, this chapter has some sweet S/A moments, that will be built on in the next chapter, which is fully dedicated to Sheldon, just for any Shamys out there that may think I am neglecting you! I'm not :)**

**Oh and P.S did you see the moment with the heart locket? I actually squealed when he gave her it and was so relieved it was done just the way it was written in the reports so it still made sense to this story!**

* * *

**Lazy Sunday**

Penny woke the next morning, in the same way she had done every day for the past week and a half; with her head resting on Leonard's chest, and her arms wrapped around him, clinging to him for dear life. It was like even her sub-conscious mind was afraid to let him go, and as each morning came, she clung tighter to him. She tilted her head upwards, touching her nose against the stubble on his chin, then let out a small sigh and buried her head into the nook of his neck. She took in his scent as she moved her hand up to rest on his chest, just over his slowly beating heart and gently tapped his chest on each thump. She did this for a few minutes, until the pattern was deeply engraved in her brain, one more sweet memory for her to have when he leaves in four days.

_Four days. _The sound of the words in her head made her stomach churn. She would only have four more mornings where she would be able to wake up like this, content, warm and happy in the arms of the man she was crazy about. There would be only four more evenings that she would be able to spend showing him, instead of telling him, just how much she was going to miss him. Four more nights where she would be able to show him how much she loved him, how passionate she was about him and how hard these next four months were going to be.

Penny lay there for a while, as the soft taps that she was placing on his chest in time with his heart began to soothe her back to sleep, until she was brought back from the edge by Leonard stirring beneath her grasp. She looked up, and his warm chocolate brown eyes met hers.

"Hey, you." She said softly with a small grin.

"Hey." He answered, still groggy from sleep. "How come every time I wake up these days, you are awake before me?" He chuckled. "That never used to happen."

Penny shrugged her shoulders as if she didn't know, but somewhere deep down she did. Something in her sub-conscious knew that she didn't have long left with him and woke her up each morning bright and early so she could have those quiet few moments with him, before he was even awake.

Penny laid her head back down and placed her hand back over his chest. The slow, steady beating had changed and was going just a little faster. Penny moved her hand down to his stomach and began to copy the beating of his heart with taps to his stomach, saying a silent _thump-thump_ in her head at each tap.

"What do you want to do today?" Leonard asked softly, ignoring the fact that she was tapping his stomach for a reason that he just didn't know.

"Mmm," Penny said in her dream-like state, "Nothing."

"Nothing at all?"

Penny shook her head, then stopped tapping his stomach and looked up at him. "I don't want to do anything. I don't want to leave the apartment. I don't even want to leave this room. All I want is to spend the whole day with you." She said quietly before letting out a small chuckle, then scrunched her nose a little and shook her head, "That was so cheesy, do you see what you've done to me!" She giggled again before resting her head back down on his chest. "Let's just have a lazy Sunday. We will stay in bed, watch films and stuff on my laptop, and eat a whole bunch of crap."

Leonard giggled and nodded. "Sounds perfect."

* * *

Sheldon woke up at ten o'clock, two hours late for a Sunday. He had had a long night though, which was more than likely the reason behind his sleep in. Most of his night had been spent taking care of a very drunk and very sick Amy, something that he was none too pleased about. He didn't really mind looking after her, he had done that before, but he didn't like looking after a _drunk_ Amy, whose only thoughts were solely focused around getting him into bed. Sheldon made a note to give Penny some sort of talking-to; after all, this was all her fault. She may not have forced Amy to drink the mass amount of alcohol, but she had definitely led her to the bottle, and probably opened it for her too. Sheldon shook his head as he lay in his bed and hoped that Amy had already woken up from the sofa she had fallen asleep on, and had left his apartment for the comfort of her own, so he would be free from the duty of looking after her even more.

He got up from his bed and threw on his robe and slippers before making his way out to the living area, hoping that the room would be clear, but it wasn't. Sheldon tilted his head and let out a disappointed groan as his eyes met Amy, still on the sofa, with the comforter he had given her still wrapped tightly around her body.

Her head was in his spot. That was the second thing he noticed. How was he going to have breakfast and watch television if she was in his spot. Sheldon shook his head. There wasn't much point in calling it breakfast now; it was now what some people would call brunch. He didn't like brunch. He liked to have breakfast, and he liked to have lunch, but he didn't like the idea of the two of them being forced together into one meal.

_You see what you are doing to me Amy? _He said to her telepathically. _You are forcing me to have brunch. BRUNCH! It's not even a legitimate meal time, and you are forcing it upon me you raven haired vixen!_ Sheldon headed for the kitchen and searched the cupboards for what would be appropriate for his brunch, but the task confused him. If it were breakfast time, he would have had cereal, and if it were lunch time, he may have had a grilled cheese sandwich, but it was brunch, so what would he do? Have a mixture of the two? Some sort of grilled sandwich with cereal as the filling? Sheldon shook his head again, that was a preposterous idea. Instead he just took out some bread and put it in the toaster, deciding he would just have toast and jam, although he wasn't happy about it.

As soon as it was ready he put it on a plate, poured himself a glass of milk and headed over to the sofa, where he was met with his next problem; where to sit. He went back and forth from one free spot to the next, but nowhere seemed sufficient, so he took his plate to the kitchen counter and ate his brunch there, his day seemingly getting worse by the minute.

He ate quickly then decided to clean up the apartment. The mess was playing havoc with his OCD and since Leonard wasn't around to help clean up; he had to do it on his own. He changed out of his pyjamas and put on a pair of rubber gloves and got to work cleaning up the mess from the night before.

He had hoped that because of the noise he had been making, or by the time it had taken for him to clean up properly, that Amy would have woken up, but she was still soundly asleep when the apartment was clean, with her blanket still wrapped around her, snoring lightly and with her head still in his spot.

He showered after his cleaning, then returned to the living area, to the same sight of a sleeping Amy. Sheldon glanced at his watch. It was just before one o'clock and he had been hoping to watch Battlestar Galactica at one; in his spot. He headed to the sofa and tried to make himself comfortable on the armrest, to no such end. He then tried to make himself comfortable in Leonard's chair, but had the same negative outcome. He wanted his spot. He needed his spot, it was the only place he could comfortably watch his programme and various parts of his mind told him just to wake Amy up; she would deserve it after what she had made him do last night!

But he couldn't do it. His logical, decision making brain was being overruled, once again by his emotional heart.

It told her he couldn't wake her up, because she hadn't actually _made_ him hold her hair back from her face as she was sick; she hadn't _forced_ him to take her to the sofa to lie down, or to put the blanket around her, tucking her in just like his mother had done in the past to him.

She hadn't forced him to do these things; the fact that he was her boyfriend had forced him to do it. The fact that it was social protocol forced him to do it, along with the niggling piece of his conscious that just wanted her to be safe, to be warm and comfortable.

He should wake her up his head said, but he couldn't; his heart wouldn't let him.

* * *

"What button is it to duck again?" Penny asked as she turned her head slightly to face Leonard.

They were both still in bed. Leonard was sitting almost straight up, with his head and back against the headboard, and Penny was sitting in between his legs, with her head resting just below his chin. Her bed sheets were over them, wrapping them up in their own little cocoon, and Penny's laptop rested on top of the covers on her lap.

"This one." Leonard said as he reached his arm around her and hit the 'ctrl' key. They had brought the laptop out after having breakfast in bed, with the intention of watching a film, but somehow they had ended up playing Star Wars online, and Penny was actually enjoying it. They were taking turns each, competing against people from all over the world and although Penny was doing pretty well, she was nowhere near as good at this as she was Halo, and Leonard constantly bet whatever score she got on her turn.

"You know," Leonard said, "I have this game on my laptop too."

"Yeah I know," Penny said, not turning her focus from the game, "So?"

"So…" He gave her a quick kiss on her hair, "We could play against each other, you know, when I go-"

Penny quickly paused her game, turned her head to him and held her finger to his mouth, "Uh uh. Don't say it. I don't want to think about that today, today is just a normal lazy Sunday... okay?"

Leonard smiled against her finger and nodded before kissing it. Penny gave him a soft smile in return then removed her finger from his mouth and moved her hand to his cheek, pulling his face to hers so she could kiss him on the lips. "Thank you." She whispered as she closed her eyes and touched her nose against his, then turned back around and continued to play the game while Leonard watched.

He leant his head against hers and gently touched his fingers against the skin on her side, unconsciously making shapes and patterns up and down her body as he watched her play. Penny found the touches nice and relaxing at first, until she began to take note of the soft kisses he was placing on her head, each one getting closer and closer to her neck. Her concentration waivered and she found herself being killed in the game more often than she had since she had started. She could feel his heart thumping against her back, at least she thought it was his, it could just have been her own, battering off her ribcage and sending vibes throughout her body.

He moved her hair to the side and planted a kiss just behind her ear, and at that moment someone sliced her in half on the game she was playing. "Damn it!" She moaned, breathless and frustrated.

"You are really bad at this game." Leonard said with a chuckle.

Penny instantly turned around to him, "It's your fault!" She said as she pushed her shoulder into him.

"I'm not even doing anything!" He replied innocently.

"Don't play the fool with me, _genius_!" She said as she turned back around. "You know exactly what you're doing."

Leonard chuckled into her shoulder, before giving it a quick kiss, "I have no idea what you are talking about." He lied, then planted a few more kisses down her shoulder and suddenly neither of them cared about the game, or about the laptop as Penny turned her body around on him, sending the laptop to the floor with a thud.

* * *

Sheldon sat on the edge of Leonard's chair, watching Amy intently as she slept, trying to figure out what to do about his need to watch his programme, whilst fighting the thoughts that wanted nothing more than to sit there and continue to watch her sleep. She looked so peaceful and contented, it was quite mesmerizing, but he would be damned if he were to admit it.

"Oh for goodness sake." He said under his breath as he stood up, fed up of his own cowardice and on the verge of telling Amy to wake up and get out of his spot, but that peaceful, contented expression on her face wouldn't let him and instead he decided to do what he had told Penny he wouldn't. He grabbed a pillow from Leonard's chair and ever so gently lifted Amy's head so that he could sit on his spot. He quickly put the cushion on his lap and rested Amy's head back into the position it had been in before. She was lying on her side, facing away from him and he tucked the blanket over her as it had slightly fallen from her body. He watched as she shifted her weight, then relaxed again into the pillow on his lap, and Sheldon smiled, glad that he hadn't disturbed her sleep.

This wasn't so bad. She was barely even touching him really, she was lying on the pillow, and the pillow was touching him.

The leather was warm, that was his biggest complaint, but apart from that, it was… okay. The only other problem was; he didn't know where to put his right hand. Normally it would sit at his side, but that would place it on Amy's neck, dangerously close to her chest and that was one step too far for him right now. So instead he put it up to rest awkwardly on the back of the sofa.

He sat like that the whole way through his programme and for some time after it. He barely moved through fear he would wake her up and he was in no mood to look further into his soul to figure out why that was.

His arm began to hurt though. He was resting it in an uncomfortable position and he needed to move it, but he had nowhere safe to put it. He chewed his bottom lip as he thought through his options and in the end he found himself slowly moving his arm from the back of the sofa and placed his hand on her shoulder, deeming it the safest, and most comfortable place for it to rest.

This wasn't so bad either.

* * *

"You're lucky that your laptop didn't smash, you know that right?" Leonard chuckled into the back of Penny's neck while he gently massaged her right shoulder as he lay behind her, pressed up against the back of her body.

"Mmmhmm." Penny replied as she kissed the part of his arm that was resting under her neck. She turned her head around, just enough for her to see him. "That thing gets thrown around so much anyway, it's used to it." She shrugged and grinned before giving him a quick kiss on the lips, then pulled back so she was staring straight at him.

Leonard looked into her eyes for a few seconds as his heart swelled, she really was a beauty. Even now with her hair all messed up and without any make-up, she was gorgeous. He wanted to tell her at that moment just how much he was going to miss her. He wanted to tell her he loved her and that as much as he was looking forward to working on that ship, the mere thought of being without her was terrifying him. But she didn't want to talk about it, and he could understand why. The next few days were going to be filled with talk of him going away. There was going to be a party for him leaving and it was going to be emotional, so he understood her wanting to have one day where it wasn't mentioned, and part of him wanted it too. But the sad fact was, he _was_ going, and although they weren't actually talking about it, it was still on the forefront of their minds. It was the elephant in the room that they were both stubbornly trying to ignore in an effort to make this day perfect, free from any hurt or sadness.

He took a deep breath and blinked slowly, and when his eyes were focused on hers again, he whispered, "I love you, Penny." His eye watered and his voice cracked and he knew Penny heard everything else he wanted to say along with those words, because her eyes became teary too.

She turned her body around to face his, closed her eyes and pushed her face as close to his as possible. "I love you too." She whispered. She said it so quietly that it was barely audible. It was so quiet in fact, that he could have imagined it. She could have just exhaled and he put those words in her mouth. It didn't really matter though, he knew she felt it and he knew if she had said it, she had said it so quietly because she was afraid of those words bringing out the tears that were filling her eyes.

He held her close to him for a long while, neither of them wanting to break the close contact, until both of their stomachs began to growl. They both reluctantly got up and made themselves dinner, spaghetti of course. They joked around as they cooked, tickling and throwing pasta at each other, but managing to stop their playful fight before it escalated into a full blown food fight, which was handy because neither of them were in the mood to clean up the mess that it would make.

After their dinner they went straight back to bed with a bowlful of popcorn to watch movies on the laptop that luckily suffered no damage after its fall. Neither of them spoke of their tender moment from before, and Leonard's pending departure wasn't brought up either. They simply laughed, talked, joked and fooled around, enjoying one another's company for the remainder of their perfect day.


	8. Reflection

**Reflection**

Sheldon sat as still as he possibly could while Amy slept on his lap, the television was still on, but he wasn't paying attention to it. That happened a lot lately.

He hated that his mind had become so easily distracted, and hated even more that it was caused by another human being. He was letting emotion guide his decisions, especially when it came to Amy and the results of it were simply confusing.

He kept his hand rested on her shoulder, afraid that if he moved it she would wake up. He didn't want that, because he didn't want to disturb that peaceful expression, but also because he was unsure about the reaction he would get from her when she realized what had happened. Although considering how she usually reacted whenever he would show her some physical attention, the chances were she would be pretty ecstatic.

He still couldn't really figure out _why_ this had happened. It wasn't very often that he would be rendered unable to sit in his spot, but when those times occurred, be it because of a stubborn Nebraskan or a vengeful engineer who had decided to let his naked body rest upon it, forcing his cushion to be taken to the dry cleaners, he would have sat somewhere else, probably at his desk. He would be unhappy about it, certainly, but he still would have done it. But this wasn't Penny, this wasn't Howard or any of the rest of them, it was Amy; his girlfriend. She was the only one he would allow to be this close to him.

He still couldn't quite believe how far he had come. On a regular persons scale, he hadn't come very far, but Sheldon was far from normal.

In the past the mere idea of being in the same proximity to someone who was ill, made his skin crawl. Yet, when Amy was suffering from the flu he felt an unexplainable need to look after her, to be there with her and help her mend. Sure, there was the relationship contract that almost forced him to do his duty as 'the boyfriend', but he wasn't doing it because he had to, he was doing it because he wanted to, and it surprised him, as well as her.

And then there was Valentines day. Not only had he been prepared to give her an evening of 'romance', when he really didn't want to, but he had given her the gift of her name opposite the words 'Emergency contact' on his employee information. It seemed small, insignificant to anyone who didn't know him, but it told her he wanted her around if anything happened to him. If he was hurting, ill or in pain, he had put her down as the one to call. The one to come collect him, and make him feel better, because she was the only one around who could. If you discounted his mother and Meemaw, of course.

Then there was the 'Dungeons and Dragons' night. That night had quite possibly been the one where he had really shown her how much he was trying to change, before he even realized he was doing it. That night she had been down, upset about the status of their relationship and how stagnant it had seemingly become to her. She was a young woman whose biological urges needed more from him, and he wasn't catching up quick enough.

It had hurt him more than he had let on to see her so upset about where things were between them. He knew he had been naïve to assume she would want to continue their relationship in the same way they had been forever. Maybe he still was a little naïve to think that these small shows of affection would be enough to keep her contended until he found it within himself to be able to be more intimate with her. When he had touched her knee that night at her place, he had thought he was really showing her how much he was trying to change, and maybe he was, but he was sure it wasn't enough. Penny was right, he needed to give her more. He needed to tell her how he felt about her, so she wouldn't have to guess. God he hated it when Penny was right.

The thing was, he didn't even know for sure how he felt. There was no definitive way to judge emotion. It was all about gut instinct, which left huge room for error. He knew he cared for her, and he certainly enjoyed her being in his life. He honestly couldn't picture his life anymore without her in it in some way. The thought of her leaving him at some point and never being able to see her again gave him a churning feeling in his stomach, and a slight ache in his chest, it scared him.

There were no amount of cats in this world that would be able to replace Amy Farrah Fowler; he had already found that out. But what did that mean? That he loved her? That he wanted her in his life forever? Marriage? Children? Maybe. Maybe not.

The problem was he had no way of really knowing how he felt. He had no experience in the area of love for comparison. He wasn't even sure if he believed in romantic love. Who was to say its existence wasn't simply invented by lonely human beings who were scared of spending their life alone? There was no way to prove it was real, so why should he believe it was?

He had never even had the chance to witness that so called 'love' between two people. His parents' relationship was rocky at best. They fought constantly and he couldn't actually think of one time when they seemed truly happy together. He had only very few memories of his Meemaw and Pop Pop together, and in all those memories he had there was never any sign of them being 'in love'. They were happy together though, he knew that. His Meemaw before his Pop Pops death was a different person to the one after it. She laughed less, he remembered that.

The only two people that he had really witnessed being 'in love', were Leonard and Penny and their relationship was hardly the best example to work off of. Their relationship was quite dysfunctional too, but it was the only example of love that he had ever been able to study. He had seen their relationship grow from nothing more than a hopeless crush on Leonard's part, to what it was now, love. Well, they said it was love, and he couldn't deny that they did seem happier now than he had ever really seen them before. But how could he compare what they shared to what he and Amy shared? Their relationships were completely different. For starters, he never had what Leonard had when he first met Penny; that instant need to have her around, to invite her for dinner and do whatever it was she asked of him, just to be near her.

Sheldon shook his head slightly after that thought, that wasn't true, he and Amy did spend a lot of time together after they had first met, it was just done differently. There were a good few months when he spoke to her every day without fail, whether it was through phone, text or Skype, and to be honest it was still that way now. He was intrigued by her, and still was, because she was intellectually compatible with him, which was something he had never seen in anyone before, and because she shared some of the same quirks, mannerisms and values as he did. She was completely different to anyone he had ever met and from the moment he had met her he felt like he had known her a lifetime. In fact, he was so taken by her that he decided not long after they met that they were going to create a child prodigy together, albeit not in the conventional way, and that was extremely similar to a certain experimental physicist who also decided after a very short period of meeting a certain waitress that he would have, 'smart and beautiful' babies with her, no matter how impossible that seemed at the time.

Those two had broken up for a period of time, as had he and Amy. They had broken up over difference of opinion, but it quickly became clear to him, with help from his mother, that he and Amy were more compatible than anyone else he would ever meet and he didn't want their time together to end. When Amy 'dated' Stuart, he found himself experiencing the same jealously that he had seen in Leonard when Penny would date other men, although at the time he didn't quite realize that jealousy was what it was, but it was becoming clear now.

In fact, their respective relationships were more similar than he had realized, the details were different, but the overall experience was the same. There was the immediate attraction; that need to spend as much time together as possible, although Sheldon's attraction was one of the mind, not the body. There was the break-up that helped, in the end, to bring them closer together. There were moments of frustration, of fear and hate, and moments of pure happiness, contentment and, well, 'love'.

It dawned on him that he was the 'Penny' in his relationship, but where Penny was afraid of commitment, he was afraid of intimacy, and Amy was the 'Leonard'; ready and willing to give him whatever he wanted, and patiently waiting on him to be ready to give it to her. But her patience was wearing thin; he had seen that on that 'Dungeons and Dragons' night.

At that moment he felt an overwhelming need to wake her up, but not because he wanted her to get up and off his spot like he had earlier. He wanted her to wake up so he could show her how he was progressing. He wanted to show her the hand that was sitting quite happily on her shoulder, he wanted her to see that he was letting her rest her head on his lap, just so she would see he was trying. He wanted her to wake up so he could say 'look, I'm changing'. It wasn't much, but he was getting there, slowly yes, but he _was_ getting there. He might not fully understand what this whole 'love' thing was, but he was trying to, for her sake.

But he didn't wake her up. There was still a certain amount of fear in him that if she saw this, she would be expecting more and he wasn't sure how much more he could give her right now.

He was tired, not only from lack of sleep, but from thinking. His head was wracked with all sorts of thoughts of what love was, how he would know if he felt it, if it even existed, and why on earth he was letting himself get so caught up in it. He also remembered at that moment that Raj was still in Leonard's room, and the last thing he wanted was him walking in on this scene. He didn't want anyone else to see this progress, because they would put pressure on him to do more, just like he was afraid Amy might do. He gently removed his hand from her shoulder and lifted her head slightly so he could stand up, offering up his spot to her sleeping head.

Sheldon spent the next few hours at his desk, on his laptop, playing everything from World of Warcraft, to what he was playing now, Super Mario.

He was so engrossed in the game that he didn't even hear Raj leave Leonard's room and come into the living area. He wandered around like a withered version of his old self and tried to get some information out of Sheldon about what had happened the night before. Sheldon told him the bare basics of the night and then told him to be quiet and motioned to a sleeping Amy for the reason behind it. Raj didn't stay in the apartment long after that, he made himself coffee and toast, before leaving, mumbling something about how he felt like crap and he wanted to see his 'little princess', which everyone had come to know was what he called his little dog.

Amy woke up a little while later, to the sound of Sheldon humming the tune to Super Mario as he played. She smiled at first, remembering that night at her apartment when she had used that tune to help Sheldon become more attached to her, but then her eyes hit the light and an instant wave of pain shot through her temples, making her audibly groan in pain.

"I see you have finally decided to join us in the land of the living." Sheldon said as he turned around in his chair.

"What happened last night?" Amy groggily asked as she rubbed her pounding head.

"Ah, the inevitable amnesia that follows drinking an excessive amount of alcohol." He said as he shook his head. "Well, let me begin to jog your memory. You came here last night in an extremely drunken state which I blame in no small part on Penny. You proceeded to be sick in my toilet," He motioned to the bathroom, as if she didn't know where it was. "Forcing me to do my job as 'the boyfriend'," he said with air quotes, "and hold your hair away from your face and rub your back." Sheldon stood up from his seat and headed to the kitchen to get two bottles of water, one of which he gave to Amy.

Amy smiled as best as she could as she took the bottle from his hands and looked up at him as he stood above her, seemingly waiting on something. "What is it?"

Sheldon almost simply asked her to lift her head so he could sit down, and let her lie on his lap again, after all it was quite nice. But he stopped himself just before he said the words and forced himself to say what he normally would have. "You are in my spot. And you are now awake and able to move. So…" He said as he motioned with his head for her to move up. Amy groaned and slowly removed her head from the cushion and sat up, throwing her head back into the back of the sofa and held the comforter that was around her in place. "Anyway, after you were done throwing up, you tried to get into my room, determined to 'show me a good time'" He used air quotes again as he shook his head, "But I managed to get you away from there and out here where you fell onto the sofa and passed out."

"Did you give me this?" She asked as she held up the blanket.

Sheldon turned to her and let one corner of his mouth curl into a smile. "Yes." He said before turning away again. "It can get quite chilly at night… I didn't want you to get cold."

Amy felt her headache disappear and her stomach fluttered for just a second. It was quite possibly one of the simplest, yet sweetest things he had ever said to her. She looked at him, until he looked back at her and their eyes met. It always gave her chills when he looked straight at her. He always looked like he was deep in thought, yet she never knew what he was actually thinking. "Thank you." She said quietly and they smiled at each other for a quick second, giving her those same chills again.

"You're welcome." He said eventually before getting up and grabbing the phone. "I'm going to order some pizza do you want some?"

"No thanks I think I might be sick if I eat anything." She mumbled. Sheldon nodded and proceeded to call his takeaway.

Amy stayed with him for a while after she had woken up, but quickly found out that Sheldon plus a hangover, were not a good combination. She loved hanging out with him, that was for certain, but when her head was pounding and he was sitting beside her, telling her all about the dangers of drinking too much alcohol and how Penny was 'poisoning' her, she had to use all of her strength not to tell him to shut up.

She continued to sit with him for a little while longer though, until her headache became too much to handle and she decided it was about time she went home.

Amy got up and told Sheldon she was leaving, and she could have sworn she seen disappointment in his face. In fact had her mind not been fuzzy from the night before, she would have bet on it. That look almost made her stay a little longer, but her headache won and they said their goodbyes, with Amy completely unaware of how much Sheldon was changing, because of, and for, her.


	9. The Amended Schedule

**Just want to say a quick thank you to everyone who gave feedback on the previous chapter. I was so nervous about putting that one up because it was solely focused on Sheldon and that is something I have never done before. I worried that I hadn't gotten him right as he is such a tough one to write for, so I am glad you found him to be IC! Huge relief! Also I should say to those of you disappointed about there being no mention of L/P, that that may happen from time to time, just as some chapters may have no mention of S/A, I want to give each couple equal attention. **

* * *

**The Amended Schedule**

Penny checked her hair and make-up in the mirror for what felt like the millionth time. This was it, the last day. Leonard was leaving tomorrow and these last few hours were going to be the last she would spend with him for four months. She still hadn't cried. She had still managed to keep those tears from falling down her cheeks and she only had to keep them in for another few hours.

She knew Leonard would feel emotional tonight at his party. She knew he would be sad and she had to stay strong for him. She had to let him know that she and everyone else supported him, that they were going to miss him, but that they were happy for him and would still be here waiting on him when he gets back.

Penny smoothed down her dress, took a long deep breath and grabbed her purse. It was still early, the party wouldn't be starting for another while, but Leonard was over there, and she wanted to be with him. She quickly headed across the hall, and entered her boyfriend's apartment, without as much as a knock.

"Ah! Penny!" Sheldon said as he stood up from his spot, grabbed something from the coffee table and walked over to her with it. He was half ready, he had his shirt and dress pants on, but his tie and blazer were still missing.

Penny scrunched her face up as she shut the door behind her. "What is it Sheldon? Where's Leonard?" She asked as she scanned the room.

"He is in his room getting changed." He said with a dismissive wave. "This is for you." He handed her two sheets of paper with typed up writing on them.

Penny couldn't even be bothered to read what it said. "What is this?" She asked, holding it up.

"That is your two written warnings." He said as he nodded towards the papers, and clasped his hands behind his back.

"For what?!" Penny asked with shock and confusion.

"For sitting in my spot and for being the cause of Amy being in my spot."

Penny just continued to look at him with the same shocked and confused look, when Amy came through the door.

"Hey!" She said happily.

"Hey," Penny said to Amy before turning her attention quickly back to Sheldon. "How was I the cause of Amy sitting in your spot?"

Amy stood beside Sheldon and Penny, "What are you talking about?" She asked.

Penny held up her two sheets of paper. "I'm getting a warning-"

"Two warnings." Sheldon corrected.

"Fine, _two _warnings because I sat in his spot and because I made you sit in his spot." Penny said to Amy, then looked back at Sheldon. "How did I _make_ her sit in your spot?!"

Sheldon sighed and shook his head, "Because she was recovering from a night of drinking excessive amounts of _your _alcohol, at _your_ apartment, therefore it is _your_ fault. You only have one more warning Penny before you have to take my class for a record fifth time, you do realize that?"

Penny scoffed, "But _Amy_ was the one actually sitting in your spot! So _she_ should be getting the warning not me!" Penny replied as Amy discreetly moved away from the conversation and over to the sofa, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire of their argument.

Sheldon furrowed his brow and shook his head, "No."

"Oh, I see what's going on here, Amy is getting special treatment because she's your girlfriend!"

"No she is not." Sheldon said, shaking his head.

"Whatever Sheldon." Penny let out an angry sigh, "This is bulls-"

"Hey guys!" Leonard said as he turned the corner from his room to the living area, unknowingly cutting off Penny's angry slur.

"Hey sweetie," Penny said, with a much softer tone, as she walked over, gave him a kiss and then held up her warnings. "Did you see what he has given me?!"

Leonard nodded, "Yeah, I did try to make him see sense but he was having none of it." Leonard looked past Penny, over to Sheldon who was now on his spot, talking to Amy who was sitting beside him, "I think you are forgetting that Penny is going to be helping drive you around for the next four months." He said loudly in his direction.

Sheldon immediately stopped his conversation with Amy and looked to Leonard with a slight frown. He had somehow forgotten, due to everything he had been going through lately, that once Leonard is gone, he will be without transport.

"You forgot about that didn't you?" Leonard said as he headed over to his desk, grabbed a bound pile of papers and walked over to sit on his chair. "Luckily I didn't."

Sheldon's expression changed from being completely confused, to intrigued, wondering what the little man had in his hand. "What is that?"

"Well, Penny, Amy and I forged up your schedule, amended to accommodate my absence." Leonard opened the first page, as Penny took a seat on the arm of his chair. "I know you hate change, and not having me around to do all the things I usually do for you will be difficult, so we all thought we would try and make it a little easier for you. We have split up everything between Amy and Penny and on any day where neither of them can take you to these destinations, for reasons listed here, including any car malfunctions, illness or temporary inability to drive, the responsibility will be put to Raj, then Howard, then Bernadette." Leonard took a deep breath before continuing down his list. "First we dealt with who would be taking you to work. We have put Amy down to take you on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and Penny will take you on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"But you have to come to my apartment on each of those mornings with a hot cup of coffee in hand or I won't take you." Penny added, still slightly annoyed at him from their previous argument.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes towards Penny who glared right back at him and he sighed, "Fine."

Leonard nodded then continued, "Raj will take you home from work on the same days that Amy takes you, and Howard will take you home the other two days." Leonard stopped and turned the page, "Trips to the dentist, doctor and hairdressers will be handled by Amy, while Penny will take you shopping for groceries and to the comic book store, which she actually seemed pretty enthusiastic about, presumably because she will want to pick up the latest issue of Thor." Leonard chuckled and Penny playfully nudged him on the shoulder. "The _fun_ task of taking you to any train stores or conventions will be passed consecutively between the two of them, since neither of them wanted to have to take you every time, and I do _not_ blame them. Happy so far?" Leonard asked looking up over his glasses to Sheldon.

Sheldon simply nodded, a little surprised that they had taken the time to do this, and more than a little surprised that he hadn't already done it.

Leonard smiled and continued. "Okay, that is all regarding transport," He said as he turned the page, "now we have the issue of making up for my absence when it comes to dinner and recreational activities. Penny will take my place on Halo night and for any other video game based activities that require an even number of players, while Amy has agreed to do the same regarding board or card games. Amy has also agreed to fill my place for any fancy dress evenings or medieval re-enactments."

"Although I will only agree to come along if we dress in couples costumes." Amy added. "And not like we did at Halloween, they have to be proper couple costumes!"

"Oh really?" Sheldon whined then looked to Leonard for some support, but was offered none. Amy sat with her arms folded at him, waiting on him to cave because she knew he would, he had to. He sighed loudly, threw his hands up and said, "Fine!" And Amy could barely contain her pleasure.

"Okay, moving on, Penny will join you all playing paintball, so you may _actually_ win a game!" Leonard said with a giggle then turned the page again, "And finally, eating out. Amy has agreed to take my place at The Cheesecake Factory, because Penny will probably be working and won't be able to join you, and Penny will take my place at the Chinese restaurant. I have given both Amy and Penny a copy of what you order from each takeaway, so they know what to get you whenever they are ordering takeout for everyone." Leonard once again looked up at Sheldon, who still had a slightly dumbfounded look on his face. "I think that is all, unless you can think of something we have missed?"

Sheldon looked from Leonard, to Penny then to Amy, "Um…" He shook his head, "No. I can't think of anything."

"Great." Leonard said with a smile before handing the pile of papers and a pen to Penny. "You need to sign here." He said pointing to the page.

Penny took the pen and papers from him and just before she was about to sign she looked up at Sheldon, "But before I sign this I want you to take my two warnings off me."

Sheldon looked at her with slight horror. "No."

"Fine, I won't sign this." She said putting the papers down, "Find your own way to work, and the comic book store and for groceries and-"

"Fine!" Sheldon said throwing his hands up in defeat again. "The warnings are revoked."

Penny's face lit up and she immediately reached down and signed her name on the page, quickly followed by Amy without complaint. Sheldon took the bound papers and began to read through everything that was written, ready to make any amendments before he signed, but none were needed. The homunculus had done a good job. He had thought of everything, leaving him without a single complaint.

It almost choked him up. Possibly because of the fact that Leonard would no longer be the one doing these tasks. Leonard was the best person for each of these jobs. He was always awake on time to take him to work, and ready when he was to take him home. He knew the best routes to take to get them to each and every train convention in plenty of time. He didn't just take him to the comic book store, he went in with him and they browsed the comics together... yes, he was definitely the best person for these jobs.

Sheldon cleared his throat with slight embarrassment at the idea he was actually going to miss him, and signed his name on the page.

"Did you get that check engine light fixed yet?" Sheldon said to Penny in an attempt to get back to his normal self.

Penny huffed and rolled her eyes. "No."

"Penny!" Sheldon moaned.

"Relax Sheldon, she will get it fixed." Leonard said before turning to Penny. "Won't you? We don't want you and Sheldon blowing up because your engine finally combusts."

Penny huffed, thinking that sometimes blowing up Sheldon wasn't such a bad idea. "Fine, I will get it fixed." She said, unable to say no to that face that was looking up at her.

Sheldon smiled and then stood up and took his bound papers to his room, while Amy and Penny chatted and Leonard headed to the kitchen to pour a few drinks.

Sheldon returned from his room, facing down with his tie in his hands, trying his best to tie it neatly around his neck. He struggled however as his mind was not quite focusing on the task, but this time, instead of Amy being the cause of his lacking attention span, it was now Leonard, or more specifically, the fact he was leaving tomorrow. He had obviously known he was leaving for some time, but it was only really dawning on him now that he was _actually_ going, and it had just been made blindingly clear to him how much that was going to affect almost everything in his life.

Amy noticed Sheldon's struggle and met him in the kitchen with the offer of helping him, to which he tentatively nodded. Sheldon dropped his hands and let Amy do what he couldn't. He looked at her with a small grin on his face as she concentrated on tying his tie. He was so glad to have her around on moments like these. He felt her hand slightly touch his shirt, grazing his chest as she straightened out the material around his neck, and he fought the part of him that wanted to jump back because that simple touch gave him a slight tingle that he couldn't place. The touch was pleasant, relaxing almost, and that puzzled him because he always hated being touched. Sheldon frowned slightly, confused at where this feeling was coming from and why it was making his heart race. Amy was finished with his tie within a minute and he felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment. Sheldon let out a sigh, what was happening to him? He shook his head as he headed over to his spot, and just as he sat down the rest of the gang came through the door, all dressed up and ready to enjoy their last night all together.


	10. I'll Miss You

**I have been waiting and waiting to upload this chapter because I just adore it, and I hope you do to. I'm almost certain all my fellow Lennys will :) I can't count the amount of times I have read this over and changed something about it every time and I'm sure if it was left on my computer any longer I would have changed something else! Anyway I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do :) **

* * *

**I'll Miss You**

Once the party for Leonard began to die down and everyone started to leave, Leonard and Penny left for the comfort of Penny's apartment.

Penny had spent most of the night in close proximity to him, barely leaving his side for more than a few minutes, which Leonard massively appreciated. It wasn't just the fact that she was there, but that she held his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. It was the fact that whenever one of the guys said something to him about how things wouldn't be the same without him, she would grab hold of his hand and squeeze it reassuringly. It was the fact that she would place her hand on his back and sweetly ask how he was doing, knowing that the emotion of the evening was beginning to get the better of him. She had been wonderful all night, yet something still bothered him.

Every one of his friends had come to him at some point in the evening and told him how much he meant to them. They had each held up a glass and said a few small words, telling him how proud they were of him, to be safe and that that he would be sorely missed. But Penny hadn't.

Of course he knew that she was going to miss him, she had told him, but only once. That morning when she had been woken up early by Amy, was the only time she had expressed any real emotion over the fact he was leaving, and although he knew there must be a reason behind it, it still hurt him a little that she wouldn't say it to him, knowing how much it would mean to him to hear those words again.

As the night had went on, he noticed how quiet she became. He saw her look at the clock, then towards her apartment and to him, like she was waiting to get him to herself again. Like she was counting down the amount of hours she had left with him. He knew that's what she was doing, because he had done the same thing, and on those moments, he thought she would say it. He thought that she would get everyone's attention and say just a few words about how much she was going to miss her boyfriend, but she never. She wasn't the type to show that kind of emotion in public, he knew that and yet when she didn't do it he was still disappointed.

Penny felt exhausted by the end of the night. It wasn't even late by her standards and yet she found herself withering. She had used all the energy she had trying to comfort Leonard whilst simultaneously trying to keep her own emotions inside. It was hard, incredibly hard. She would see his tears form on different occasions throughout the night and she still wasn't sure how she had managed to keep herself composed at those moments. Penny agreed with absolutely every word each person tonight had said to him, she was proud of him too, she was going to miss him and living here without him was going to be strange. It was going to be hard and she was going to hate every minute of it. She couldn't say it then though, she knew even if she tried to the words wouldn't come out anywhere near comprehendible, it would come out in high pitched squeals amongst tearful sobs.

As soon as they entered her apartment, Penny threw her purse down and sat on the armrest of her couch, because it was the first thing she came to, while Leonard shut the door behind them, took off his blazer and loosened his tie.

Penny sighed as she sat down, dropping her head towards the floor and covering her face with her hands. She sat there, in her own little world, depressed and tired, when he came over to her.

Leonard reached his hands out to hers and pulled them away from her face. He placed his hands on each side of her face and tilted her head upwards so she was looking at him. He offered her a small smile when he saw her glazed eyes and she instantly wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer to her as she rested her head just below his chest. She held tightly onto his body as he put a hand in her hair and the other on the top of her back and they stayed like that, in their warm embrace, for more than a few minutes. This was what she was going to miss most.

Moments later she felt Leonard move his hands back to the side of her face, forcing her to look up at him again.

"Did I tell you that you looked beautiful tonight? I don't think I did." Leonard said quietly as he shook his head and ran his hand through her blonde locks. "But you did… you do."

Penny gave him a little smile as she heard the crack in his voice and her tears became dangerously close to falling. She wanted to say something back, but no words would come out. Nothing she could think of seemed good enough to explain how she felt about him. She tried to find them, those magic words, but nothing would come to mind. And then her attention was diverted, when he reached down and kissed her. She closed her eyes and stood herself up, holding his jaw with one hand as she passionately kissed him back.

She was going to miss him so much. His soft, tender kisses were going to be hard to live without, as were those hands that were currently placed firmly on her hips. Those hands gave her chills, chills that she was going to have to do without for the next four months.

Penny moved her hand from his jaw, up to his thick brown hair and as she ran her fingers through the soft curls she thought about how much she was going to miss that too. Her free hand moved slowly up his arm, to his shoulder, down his chest and round to his back, squeezing each muscle lightly as she came to it and then she broke away breathlessly from his lips as she thought about how she was going to miss all that too.

It was only when she opened her eyes she realized those tears had fallen. It was then that she felt the tightness in her chest and she sobbed as she put her forehead to his and closed her eyes.

"I… I can't do this." She cried as she shook her head slightly and interlocked her fingers behind his neck, holding his head in place against hers. "I can't Leonard, I can't do it."

"Oh Penny, don't cry. You will be fine." Leonard said softly, feeling his own tears well up at the sound of hers.

Leonard felt her shake her head against him. "No I won't Leonard, I need you… I… I don't want you to go." Penny wrapped her arms around his neck and rested the side of her head against the side of his. "I don't want to miss you again…" She croaked into his ear. "It's… it's too hard. I want you _here_." Penny's sobs became worse and before she knew it tears were flowing freely from her eyes. Her wall had broken down and just as she had thought, the flow of tears that was released were unstoppable. "You can't leave me Leonard, you can't." Penny pulled her head away from his and looked him in the eyes as she sniffed through her tears. "What if Sheldon was right, what if something happens to you?"

"Honey nothing is going to hap-", he began but was cut off almost instantly.

"It could. You're accident prone Leonard... What if you fall in the sea? You're not a good swimmer." Penny shook her head and spoke quickly, on the verge of becoming hysterical. Every single irrational thought she had had about him leaving was coming spilling out of her and she couldn't stop it. She moved her hands from around his neck and rested them on his shoulders. "Remember… remember when we went to the beach and you would only let yourself go so far into the water that you could still touch the bottom?" Penny shook her head, as her heart raced, looking genuinely scared. "You won't be able to touch the bottom in the sea if you fall in. Then what? You might _drown_ Leonard. Or… or something in the water might get you. Like… Like sharks! Oh my God… what if a _shark _gets you?" Her voice was becoming high pitched between her sobs and she was speaking so fast at times that Leonard just didn't have the chance to step in and tell her how crazy she was being.

"What if something falls on you?" She said as she stared at him with fear in her eyes.

"Nothing is going to-"

"It might Leonard. Remember that time you hurt your ankle because that motorcycle fell on you?" Penny put her hands to either side of his head, "What if some big heavy piece of… of ship… equipment falls on you? What if the ship breaks down? What if you hit an iceberg like on Titanic?" Penny then gasped and put her hand to her mouth as she stepped back and looked at him. "What if you meet someone?" She squealed, "What if… What if you go on this _stupid_ ship and meet a_ girl_ and-"

Leonard immediately stepped over to her and held her firmly by the arms, stopping her from saying what she was about to. "Penny, stop. None of that is going to happen."

"You don't _know_ that." She squealed as she looked down at the floor and shook her head. "Not for certain."

Leonard let his mouth curl into a small smile and quietly said, "You sound like Sheldon." He reached a hand out to her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. "Okay, maybe I don't _know_ that a big piece of equipment isn't going to fall on me, or that I won't fall in the sea. Those things _could_ happen, but even if they do there will be medics and people there to help me if something goes wrong." Penny stared into his eyes as he spoke, the tears still flowing freely and instead of actually listening to each word he was saying to calm her irrational fears, all she could think of was how much she was going to miss that face, his voice… those eyes.

"It is highly unlikely that I will be eaten by a shark." He continued, unaware of what she was thinking. "I'm going to the North Sea honey. It's too cold in that water for the type of sharks that would actually be harmful to me if I did fall in. And there are no icebergs in the North Sea either, so there is no chance of us hitting one." Leonard moved in closer to her, placing his nose lightly on hers as he held her face in his hands. "And there is _no_ chance of anything happening between me and some other girl."

Penny heard that last part loud and clear. She knew every other fear she had was irrational and silly, so she didn't really need him to tell her it wouldn't happen, but that one… that was something she _had_ worried about. A lot can happen in four months, and although she trusted him, although every fibre of her being told her that he would never cheat on her, she still had a niggling doubt.

Leonard felt Penny pull back slightly and she opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off quickly, knowing that she was going to argue against that statement. "It _won't_ happen." He said firmly.

Penny continued to look at him for a few more seconds, and then nodded slowly. She knew he wouldn't, she really was being silly. But she was still scared, scared of being without him, and scared of missing him. Penny wrapped her arms around his neck, as the lump in her throat worsened again and more tears fell from her eyes. "I'm scared Leonard." She sobbed as she looked in his eyes. "I'm scared of being without you every day... and the fact that I'm scared of that scares me even more." She let out a tearful sigh before burying her head in his shoulder, staining his white shirt with her tears, and moved her hands under his arms to wrap around his back. "Why does this have to happen now? Just when everything is going so, _so_ well between us, you get taken away. I can't do it… _It's not fair_." Penny pulled away from his shoulder and looked through her tears into his eyes and sighed, "I love you… I love you _so_ much, I really do. Please... _please_ don't forget that when you're away."

Leonard smiled and wiped the tears from her cheek with his thumb, as his own tears began to fall. "I won't forget it." He said with a croak. "I love you too."

Leonard's heart was breaking for her, but he couldn't help but feel a little joyous. He shouldn't be, but he couldn't help it. It was like the time when he realized she was insecure about their relationship. He didn't like to see her upset, but the fact that she was upset because she was afraid of being without him made him incredibly happy. She loved him so much that she didn't want to go these months without him. She was scared of being without him, just like he was scared of being without her.

Penny gave him a sad smile as she continued to let all her pent up tears fall and she moved a hand from his back, up to his neck to play with some strands of his hair. "And you have to Skype, or call me. Every. Single. Day." Leonard nodded and she placed her forehead on his again. "And… and you have to be careful. I want you back here in one piece." Leonard let out a soft chuckle, "I'm serious." She said as she moved her other hand up to meet the one around his neck.

Leonard smiled again and nodded, "I will." He said softly.

Penny took a deep, shaky breath as she tried to calm the tears that were still falling, and buried her head into his shoulder again. She was truly exhausted. The adrenaline from crying so hard and the huge struggle before it to keep those tears at bay had taken everything out of her. She closed her eyes and felt herself almost fall asleep on his shoulder, as they both stood in the middle of her apartment.

"Penny," Leonard said softly as he heard her soft, quiet sniffles. "Penny, honey come on, let's go to bed."

Penny lifted her head from his shoulder and stood there in defiance. She didn't want to go to bed. She didn't want to sleep because after she fell asleep it would be morning, and he would be leaving. Maybe if she could defy sleep, morning wouldn't come. It was stupid, she knew that and yet she still stood there, fighting against the sleep that she so needed.

Eventually though, her eyes became heavy again and she let herself be led to her bedroom. She wearily got changed and cleaned her teeth, before curling up under the covers with him. She rested her head on his chest and listened as that soothing sound of his heart beating against her ear, brought her ever so slowly to the verge of sleep. She fought it for a short while, still under the silly impression that if she didn't fall asleep morning wouldn't come.

She tilted her head upwards, and saw him staring at the ceiling. He wasn't sleeping either. She touched his cheek, bringing his attention down to her so she could talk to him. But then she saw the hurt and sadness in his eyes, and she wondered if her outburst tonight had brought that on. She stroked his cheek with the back of her fingers as she searched her brain for the words she had intended to say to him, but the words were lost in her conscious. Instead she let out a sad sigh, frustrated with her own weak memory and found comfort in the nook of his neck, taking in his manly scent on each breath; she was going to miss that too.

_I love you. I love you._ She said in her head as she began to trace tired patterns on his chest. She wondered for a second why it had taken her so long to tell him that in the first place. She wondered why it had taken her so long to become comfortable enough to say it freely. Then she wondered why she was thinking it and not saying it now.

"I love you." She said quietly, but she got no words in return.

He had fallen asleep as soon as she had started moving her fingers across his chest. The gentle touch sending him off to his dreams.

"I love you." She said again into his neck, although she knew he wouldn't reply. She kissed him gently on his neck, before finally giving in and letting herself fall asleep with him, wishing that morning didn't have to come.


	11. The Grey Area

**The Grey ****Area**

Whilst Penny was pouring her heart out to Leonard across the hall, Amy sat in 4a with a very quiet Sheldon. Through the whole party, Amy had kept a firm eye on him, watching as he seemingly returned to his 'normal' behaviour after his moment of sadness after Leonard had given him his new schedule, but she could see something still niggling at him beneath his surface. He said some lovely words to Leonard during the party, and straight after it he said something about a toothpaste commercial to Penny. He had basically just dismissed the words he had spoken, but there was sincerity in that voice that couldn't be mistaken.

She had tried to comfort him during the party, offering him small smiles and sympathetic looks, anything to let him know she was there for him, that she knew he was going to miss his friend, even if he failed to admit it to anyone. But he barely looked her way. He all but ignored her for the rest of the night and it confused, and saddened her. She didn't understand why, after all the progress he had made, that he would suddenly just stop.

Despite his detached behaviour towards her, once everyone else had left, she helped him to clear up the mess in his apartment. Although she wasn't really bothered about the mess, she just wanted to make sure he was ok. They tidied away the party food and empty glasses together, before finally settling on the couch. Sheldon stayed uncharacteristically quiet throughout the whole process, and it worried and frustrated her.

Ever since that day when they had played Dungeons and Dragons, she had seen differences in him. He began to come out of himself slightly. He pushed his own boundaries by touching her knee and she had expected that he would continue to progress. But the progression had stopped, and she was certain that Leonard leaving was the reason behind it. She figured that the impending change was beginning to dawn on him and he was retreating inside himself. He was bottling up his emotions, and she so desperately wanted him to open up. She wanted him to tell her how he was feeling about everything that was going on, because she knew he was feeling something. He may always act like a robot, but Amy knew he had feelings in there somewhere. He had a heart that felt emotion just like everyone else; he just didn't know how to react to those emotions. He thought the best thing to do was to keep it all inside, but she knew that was incredibly unhealthy.

They sat down on the sofa together, and Sheldon automatically switched on the television. She wanted to ask him to talk to her, but she knew the answer she would get. Talking about 'feelings' wasn't something Sheldon was fond of and he would try his hardest to make sure he didn't have to do it. But she had to try, as his girlfriend, but more importantly as his friend, she had to try. But she had to do it his way. He was upset, and what would Sheldon do if someone was upset? He would offer them a hot beverage.

"Sheldon? Would you like some tea?" Amy asked from her spot beside him on the couch.

He looked over from the television that she was sure he wasn't paying attention to and said, "Cocoa please." And then gave her a small, sad smile that melted her heart.

Amy nodded and headed to the kitchen. He had accepted her offer of a hot drink, so she knew he was definitely upset. His predictability definitely came in handy in these moments. She made him his drink, just the way he liked it, and made herself some tea in the process.

As she handed him his cup he gave her that little smile again and she had to use all her strength not to throw her arms around him and pull him in for a warm, comforting hug. She managed to restrain herself though and sat back down beside him. She relaxed into the sofa and silence filled the air as she tried to figure out how to proceed. She couldn't just ask him straight out if he wanted to talk, she had to dance around it, ask him something that he wouldn't immediately associate with 'feelings'.

"Tonight was certainly a success don't you think?" She asked and he turned his attention up to her, "Leonard seemed to really enjoy his party." She said before taking a sip of her tea.

Sheldon gave a small nod, before drinking from his cup. Amy sighed with a little frustration. She cared for Sheldon, but God she wished he was easier to talk to sometimes.

"Leonard did a good job with the amended schedule didn't he?" She asked, "He was quite surprised that you didn't set one out before he did."

Sheldon looked up again and nodded, and when he didn't say anything more, Amy looked down with disappointment and let the silence fill the air once again.

"Amy?" He said quietly a few moments later.

"Yes?" She asked sitting up straight.

"Tomorrow is the third Thursday of the month."

"Yes I know. We don't have to do anything if you don't want to. I understand you and Penny are taking Leonard to the airport."

"No. I do." He stopped talking and took a slow sip of his cocoa. "I just wanted to request that we don't go out. I would quite like an evening here."

"Yes, of course." She said with a small smile. "That sounds great."

"Thank you." He replied looking down at his cup.

Amy looked at him for a few seconds and it became clear to her that she wasn't going to get much out of him tonight. He looked sad and tired and even if he wouldn't admit to her he felt that way, she knew he did.

"Well, it's getting late. I should probably go." She put her cup down on the coffee table and Sheldon gave her a slightly worried look.

He stared at her for a few moments. The whole day had exhausted him. He had kept up his pretence of normality the entire night, barely letting anyone, even Amy, come too close to him. He had wanted to be left alone, he had wanted everyone to leave so that the night could return to what it would have been like had Leonard not been leaving. Too much was changing and it was becoming hard for him to handle. His whole routine was shifting, because of the absence of one person. And because of one other person, his whole attitude to life was changing. Everything was no longer black and white, logical and illogical; there was this horrible, uncertain grey area where emotion lay.

He wanted to ask her to stay. He wanted her to sit with him, he didn't even want to talk, he just wanted her to sit with him and it annoyed him because it made no sense. There should be a reason for him wanting her there, but all he could think of was he just wanted her there… just because. He just wanted her presence, but he was still too stubborn to admit it.

And so he stayed silent, and gave her nothing but a small nod. He knew it was slightly cold. He knew he should get up and walk her to the door. He should thank her for staying back and helping him tidy up, he should thank her for just being her, but he didn't. He had used too much of his energy trying to act normal in order to make sure no-one noticed his inner turmoil, so now, when he should be giving her those words of appreciation, he stayed in his spot and said nothing.

He sat frozen as he watched her get up and leave and as soon as that door was closed behind her, he wished he hadn't let her go without at least a proper goodbye. His stomach churned and his head thumped, a mixture of regret and tiredness and he finally gave in to his need for sleep, tired of pandering to his emotions, tired of letting them get the better of him. He headed to his room, his heart aching with hurt. He was a coward. He should have told her then and there what he was feeling, even if he didn't explain his confusion over his feelings for her, he should have at least told her how he was dreading his friends departure. He should have given her something, anything to let her know he noticed, and appreciated everything she had done for him today.

He should have let her hold him. He hated to admit it but right now, all he wanted was a hug. He wanted that feeling of her arms wrapped around his body, because somehow, whenever she did it, he felt a little better.


	12. I'm Yours

**This chapter sort of borders along the M rating. There is nothing explicit, and nothing that I feel anyone would be very uncomfortable with reading, so I am choosing not to change the whole rating of the story for this one chapter, because I doubt it will be going up to an M again anytime soon. **

**So there was my warning, oh and this chapter begins at the morning of the day Leonard leaves and then leaps ahead to Penny and Sheldon driving home from the airport. You will probably figure that out anyway but just thought I would put it out there so you know. :) As always I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**I'm ****Yours**

The next morning came far too quickly.

Penny woke up to the feeling of Leonard's arms wrapped tightly around her. She was lying on her side, facing away from him, and she could feel his breath tickling her shoulder. The arm that was underneath her, clung to her stomach, while the other one wrapped itself over her chest, as he held her hand beneath her chin. She didn't want to move. She felt so secure, so warm and loved and she feared that any movement would wake him up and break this contact.

She could feel every part of his body pressed firmly up against hers and smiled when she realized their legs were entangled together, feeling the material of his socks against her bare feet. She never understood why he always wore his socks to bed, yet she found it strangely adorable.

She wondered what time it was and how many more hours she had left with him. She almost didn't want to know because as long as she didn't she could pretend she still had plenty of time left.

She nearly closed her eyes and let herself drift off back to sleep; feeling incredibly relaxed in his warm embrace, until she realized that was a bad idea. This was her last morning with him, and she didn't want to waste it sleeping. She didn't want to spend it turned away from him either. Even although the way they were laying together felt so good, she wanted to see him. She wanted to look at every feature, every mark, and every indentation on his face, for one last time.

She almost hated how sappy she had become. She had went into this thinking she would be able to be the supportive girlfriend and had come out the other end wondering how she was going to cope without him and wondering, selfishly, why he couldn't just stay with her. Screw Stephen Hawking. Why couldn't he find someone else? Leonard was hers, and she didn't want to let him go.

She slowly turned her body around and instantly grinned when her eyes met his sleeping face. He was adorable, so sweet and peaceful. She kissed him, no longer caring if she woke him up, she wanted him awake. She wanted to see those eyes.

It wasn't until she placed the fourth kiss on his lips that his eyelids cracked open. "Hey." She said as he adjusted his eyes to the morning light.

"Hey beautiful." He said in return, making her give him a sheepish smile.

"How did you sleep?" She asked as she traced her fingers up and down his back.

"Um, not great." He said with a frown. "I woke up in the middle of the night after a really weird dream." He said softly.

Penny raised a questioning eyebrow. "What happened?"

"I can't remember all the details," He shrugged, "but basically when I came home from this trip, you told me you were leaving me because you fell in love with some other guy. The guy was like The Hulk. Big, with huge muscles, he just wasn't green."

Penny almost chuckled with disbelief, until she saw the look in his eyes that told her part of him was genuinely worried about that happening, not unlike she had been last night. She reached her hand out to touch the side of his face and said, "That's not going to happen."

"Yeah..." He said with a sigh. "I know."

"You don't sound very convinced." She said as she pulled his head towards hers, but he didn't say anything else. "Trust me, it's not going to happen." She moved in and gave him a tender kiss on the lips, "I love _you.._. I'm yours, sweetie. Only yours."

Leonard smiled, pulled back and raised an eyebrow, "You're mine? That's a little possessive is it not?" He said with a hint of a chuckle.

"Yeah, I guess, but it's true." Penny moved her face up close to his again, so that their lips were almost touching and she stared deep into his eyes. "It has taken us long enough to get to where we are now. There is no man in this world that will be good enough to come between us, even The Hulk." She said with a smile. "I promise..." She gave him a tender, yet deep kiss then pulled back and lightly bit on her lip as she ran her hand through the curls on the back of his head. "I'm all yours, baby."

Leonard couldn't help but smile as he moved his hand up to touch her cheek. She called him 'baby', he loved it when she done that, it gave him butterflies and she knew it. He moved his thumb from her cheek to stroke her bottom lip as she stared lustfully at him, before taking that lip in his mouth.

He kissed her, slowly and deeply as he manoeuvred himself on top of her. He planted kisses all over the body that she had deemed his to kiss. Only his. He made that body feel wanted, because he wanted her. He made her feel like there was no-one else in this world that was worthy of these kisses, just her.

Penny relished every touch, and every kiss he gave her, and as those kisses made her feel special and adored, her eyes filled up again. She didn't want to let him go.

He made love to her. And when he did he done it slowly, tenderly, lovingly. He didn't want to let go either, he wanted this to go on forever and not because of the act itself, but because of the intimacy it brought with it. They weren't going to have this again for four months. They weren't going to be this close, this intimate and loving with each other for all that time.

The thought was heart-breaking and as that wonderful man made her feel _just_ incredible, she softly cried into his shoulder.

She cried because of how much she was going to miss this, and miss him. Because it wasn't fair that he was going, because she didn't want him to and because he felt _so_ good.

"What's wrong?" He gently asked between heavy breaths and all she could do in reply was shake her head slowly and kiss those perfect lips, begging him to continue what he was doing to her, and ignore the few tears that were flowing, and he did.

* * *

They lay in Penny's bed, in the wake of their love making, staring lovingly into one another's eyes. They barely spoke to one another, focusing instead on the soft touches they were giving each other, and on the eyes that were looking back at them, until Leonard began to slowly drift back off to sleep.

Penny watched him for a while as he drifted off, before pulling herself out of bed. She didn't want to leave him, that was the last thing she wanted to do, but she had to get a grip. Leonard needed her to be stronger than this. She had let him see her cry, he knew how badly she was going to miss him, but now she had to go back to being the strong woman she was, because as much as it killed her to say goodbye to him, he had to say goodbye, not only to her, but to all his friends too. This day was going to be hard for him, and she had to be there for him to make it just a little easier.

She lifted his phone from the bedside table and switched off the alarm that was due to go off at nine, which was an hour away. She didn't want him to be woken up by the harsh sounds the alarm made. She placed the phone back down and grabbed his shirt from the night before that was lying on her floor and put it on to cover up her almost naked body, before going out into the kitchen.

She headed straight to her cupboards and made pancakes and a small fruit salad and put it on a tray along with a cup of coffee. By the time she was finished it was ten to nine and she headed into the bedroom again to wake Leonard up. She sat down on her side of the bed with the breakfast tray, gently touched his head and said his name repeatedly to wake him up.

"Hey sweetie," She said when he opened his eyes. "I made breakfast!" She grinned widely and held up the tray as he sat up and put his glasses on.

"Wow." Leonard said with surprise as he took the tray from her, "I should go away more often." He joked, receiving a slight glare from Penny. "But I won't."

Penny chuckled and nodded before reaching over and giving him a soft kiss on the lips. She took a breath as she held his cheek and gently said, "I love you." Before sitting back and tapping his tray. "Now, eat up sweetie, you have a big day ahead of you."

* * *

The car ride from the airport was quiet. Penny drove home on autopilot and Sheldon never spoke a word. It was a huge contrast to the ride there in which he wouldn't _stop_ talking. The part of her that was glad that the crazy man was finally giving her some peace; was drowned out massively by the part that wanted him to act normal, well 'Sheldon' normal. She wanted him to be weird and neurotic. She wanted him to moan at her because she was driving too fast or because her check engine light was still flashing. She craved it, because the fact that he wasn't, was making the air too silent. It was giving her inner thoughts plenty of room to be heard, reminding her of how different everything was now, of just how much her life had changed within the space of a few small hours. She wanted his annoying, obsessive voice to fill that void instead of her own sad thoughts.

Sheldon sat quietly in the passenger seat, looking absently out the window at the scenery that passed him by. He felt an overwhelming feeling of depression, one that he hadn't expected, or wanted to feel.

Throughout the whole day he had been filled with a horrible feeling of nervous anticipation that sent his neurotic personality into overdrive. He tried to help Leonard and Penny get the car packed with all Leonard's stuff, but found himself obsessing over everything; making sure the suitcase was placed in the right part of the car, making sure they left in plenty of time to get him to the airport.

He moaned at Penny, making sure she had enough gas in the tank to get them to the airport and back. He gave Leonard various warnings about the dangers of flight travel and about the odds of him losing his luggage in the disorganized system the airport had in place. He told him about the chances of him being involved in a terrorist attack, about the chances of them blowing up in that car because of Penny's reluctance to take care of her car properly and then he forced them to hurry along their loving goodbye, because of the chances of them being arrested due to being in the wrong zone.

He told them many things, most of which were the usual irrational thoughts they had come to expect from him, but he never told them how he felt.

He still had this idea that talking about feelings was something that wasn't worth talking about. It was a task made for women and hippies, something quite possibly drilled into him by his father, and he was neither. So as per usual he kept his true feelings inside, deciding not to mention that he was going to miss his friend. Holding inside the fact that he was slightly afraid of what lay ahead of him for these next few months. His whole day-to-day life was about to change and although there was a plan in place to help him through it, he still worried about every detail. Of course he worried about the fact that Penny was prone to angry outbursts that left her unreliable and him at the mercy of her wrath. If she decided one morning she was fed up of taking him to work, she wouldn't take him and she wouldn't back down either and he would be left to fend for himself. But that wasn't his main fear.

For over a decade he had lived in that apartment with Leonard. He had had a roommate for most of his adult life, and now he was without one. He had no-one to share his ideas with, no-one to talk to about any work related problem he may encounter. He had no-one to sit up and play games with, no-one to watch and discuss television with. He was going to miss him, and it was uncomfortable because he very rarely felt this way and he didn't know how to deal with it.

He glanced at Penny, and noticed her sorrowed expression, he had never seen her face that glum before. His heart ached a little for her, sympathising with her pain. Had this happened a few years ago he wouldn't have felt such an emotion. Heck, if it had happened a few months ago he probably still wouldn't have felt this bad for her. But he felt it now, because he couldn't imagine what she must be going through. He had taken the time a few days ago to wonder briefly what his life would be like without Amy, and that thought had scared him terribly. He didn't want to ever have to spend any significant amount of time without her, and he was certain that Penny was feeling that exact pain for Leonard.

He wanted to be comforting. She was his friend and he didn't like to see her like this, especially because he had never really seen this emotion in her before. But he didn't know how to be. The only things he knew were to offer a hot beverage or a consoling hug and neither was applicable here. Instead he looked down at his lap and twiddled his thumbs. He wished he knew what to do. He searched his mind and thought maybe some comforting words would be of some help to her.

"You know Penny, four months isn't actually all that long." He said as he turned to her.

Penny almost jumped when he spoke. She had gone so long without hearing a sound from him she actually forgot he was even in the car. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, right now it might seem like a large duration of time but when you consider how much time you have known, and spent with Leonard, four months is miniscule." Sheldon looked at her as if that should make everything much better, but she just continued to look at him with a look of confusion. Well, at least she wasn't sad anymore. "You have been friends with him for about seven years. That means you have spent roughly 84 months with him in your life. If you factor in the time we spent at the North Pole, and let's say an extra three months for time spent apart on vacations and so forth, you have spent a total of about 78 months with him. Taking four months away from that barely even makes a dent." He shrugged. "Four months is nothing." He said, trying to comfort himself with the words as much as her.

Penny gave him a small smile, she knew what he was trying to do. He wasn't doing a great job of it, but he was trying at least. "Thank you Sheldon." She said before turning her eyes back to the road and playing with the new, gold, heart shaped addition to her neck.

The rest of the car ride back to Pasadena was quiet, but Sheldon's words rang in Penny's ear. _Four months is nothing._ If only that were true.

Before long, they were close to home and Penny couldn't wait to be on her own again. She wanted to cry. She already missed Leonard's presence in the car but she forced herself to stop those tears from falling, because she could tell by the silence that Sheldon was finding this hard too and she figured that her crying would just upset him even more. She glanced around as she drove and noticed that they were close to Raj's apartment. Her heart sunk with sympathy for him. He had lost someone he cared for too. Sure, his feeling of loss paled in comparison to hers, but he still felt it, and he deserved some comforting too.

"Why are we stopping here?" Sheldon asked when Penny pulled in to park at the bottom of Raj's apartment building.

"I'm going to go check on Raj. He had a rough night last night." She said, "Do you want to come up?"

Sheldon shook his head, he had dealt with enough sad people for today. "No, I'll wait here."

"Okay," Penny said as she reached behind into the back seat. "Here, Leonard left this puzzle book, you may as well finish it while I am up talking to him. I won't be long." She said with a half- smile as she left Sheldon and headed up to Raj.


	13. Date Night

**Date Night**

Penny returned to the car, and sat in the driver's seat with her jaw dropped in shock. Sheldon turned to her with a frown, unsure why she was just sitting there and wasn't instantly starting up the car.

"Penny?" He asked.

Penny turned to him with the same shock in her face, before slowly breaking out in a smile. "Raj spoke to me."

Sheldon continued to look at her with the same unimpressed frown. "Raj is known to speak to women after he has had some alcohol, you know this. I don't understand why you are so surprised."

Penny shook her head, "He didn't have any alcohol. He was _sober_ Sheldon. And he spoke to me!" She said beginning to get a little excited.

Sheldon raised his eyebrow and tilted his head slightly. "Oh." He said as he sat back in his seat. "It would seem that his need to talk to someone about his grief over his recent break-up, overpowered his selective mutism… Fascinating." He said as he relaxed into the seat.

"I can't believe it." Penny said with a small giggle as she stared ahead of her. She spotted Sheldon looking at her from the corner of her eye and turned to look at him. "What?"

Sheldon looked out on the road and then to her. "I was just wondering why we haven't left yet."

Penny sighed and rolled her eyes before turning on her car and heading home.

"So, what are your plans for tonight Sheldon?" Penny asked as they walked the stairs to their apartment. She didn't know what else to say really, the fact that Leonard had just left was still on her mind but she would rather not talk about that, especially not with Sheldon.

"Amy is coming over later." He said with a shrug. "Tonight is date night."

"Ahh." Penny said with a nod. "Well I have a date with The Cheesecake Factory." She said with a giggle, but unsurprisingly, Sheldon scrunched his face up at her. "It was a joke Sheldon."

"Yes, I know." He said, "but it wasn't a very good one."

Penny rolled her eyes again, but couldn't help but agree. They walked the rest of the stairs in relative silence until they reached their floor. Sheldon stopped before he was about to enter his apartment and turned to Penny who was just about to put the key in her own door. "Penny?"

"Yeah?" She asked as she turned around.

"Remember and get your engine seen to before you take me to work next week."

"Yes I know Sheldon." Penny said with a sigh.

"And tomorrow is Chinese food and vintage video game night. So I expect you to be at my apartment for five with takeout."

"Yes I know, I signed the contract remember."

"Yes I remember, however experience has taught me that you have a rather weak attention span and so I wouldn't be surprised if you had already forgotten."

"Well I haven't. I will be there at five."

Sheldon nodded and gave her a smile, "Okay, good. I'll see you tomorrow then."

"See you tomorrow Sheldon, oh and have a nice date night with Amy." Penny said with a grin as she opened her apartment door. "Maybe you could go a little upwards from her knee this time." She raised her eyebrow, giggled and headed into her apartment before Sheldon could chastise her.

Sheldon merely shook his head at the closed door Penny had just hid behind and entered his own apartment. He really was not looking forward to having to spend so much more time with that woman, although he had to admit he was glad that she didn't seem quite as upset as she had earlier. Her talk with Raj had obviously perked her up a little.

As soon as he entered his apartment he threw his keys in the bowl and headed to his spot. He looked around the apartment as he thought of things he could do to fill his time before Amy was due to arrive in a few hours. He glanced at his board, that had a complicated equation on it and he considered going over and trying to solve it, but he decided against it. His mind was in no state to try and solve any sort of sighed as he looked towards his laptop and then his television, trying to decide which one he would rather use to fill his time, but he wasn't really interested in either of them.

He noticed how empty the apartment felt. It was odd because it really was no different than any other evening considering Leonard would usually spend most of his free time at Penny's. Sheldon had spent many a night in this apartment alone recently and it never bothered him, but it did now. It bothered him because he knew his friend wasn't just across the hall. If he needed him for anything, he wasn't simply a few feet away, ready to be called upon. The apartment felt dark too. Nothing in it had actually changed, yet it seemed to have a dull light cast upon it. Sheldon shook his head and stood up. He was being silly, nothing was different. The absence of one person wouldn't bring about such change in the air, it was simply his imagination. He walked over to his desk and turned on his laptop, determined to get his mind off of the fact that his best friend had just left and wouldn't be returning for quite some time, and on to something else, anything else.

* * *

Amy walked up the stairs to Sheldon's apartment, with their Thai food takeout in hand, feeling a little apprehensive. She wasn't sure how tonight was going to go, she knew he would probably be a little upset but she also knew he would try to hide it and she still really wanted him to open up to her, but her previous attempt at getting him to talk had failed miserably, so she wasn't sure she wanted to try it again yet. She reached the fourth floor and glanced toward Penny's door and she thought she had better check in on her, she was her bestie after all. She knocked the door but there was no reply. She knocked again, thinking she may have just not heard her, but once again no-one answered. Amy reasoned that she was either working or had fell asleep so she decided to leave it and headed over to 4a. She knocked and a few seconds later a rather glum sounding Sheldon, shouted through the door at her to come in.

Amy opened the door and her eyes met Sheldon, slumped in front of his laptop at his desk.

"Hello Sheldon." She said with a smile.

"Hello Amy." He said dejectedly.

"Is everything okay?" She asked as she walked over to the kitchen and put the takeout food on the counter.

Sheldon sighed sadly as he looked at his computer screen. "No."

Amy walked over to him and took a glance at what he was looking at, "Star Trek: Into the Darkness?" Amy said with confusion as she looked at the screen. "What is that?"

"The new Star Trek movie. It opened today." Sheldon said with a sigh. "Due to the distraction of Leonard leaving, it slipped my mind to book tickets to the first showing…" He said then stopped, before bursting into child-like, hysterical tears. "And now they are all sold out!"

Amy was a little dumbfounded. Of all the things she expected him to be upset about, this was not one of them. "Oh, Sheldon." Amy cooed. "Can't you just book tickets for the next showing?"

Sheldon shook his head and sniffed, "No, all showings are fully booked for two weeks." He continued to cry and Amy put a comforting arm around his shoulder and to her surprise, he didn't even flinch. "This day just gets worse and worse… I blame Leonard. If he hadn't of left we would have booked the tickets together ages ago, but nooo, he has to go away and leave me here, without even thinking about the new movie. We were going to dress up you know?" He said as he looked up to Amy, who had begun to softly rub his back. "I was going to go as Spock and he was going as Captain Kirk. We had it all planned, and then he had to go and ruin it by going to work for _Stephen Hawking_." He said his name in a mocking tone and shook his head as he finally stopped his child-like cries. "I don't even know why he went. Stephen Hawking isn't that big of a deal, remember how I let him beat me at Words with Friends?" He said to Amy and she nodded, "I don't see why Leonard didn't just turn him down, it is obvious that I am the smarter one, he could have simply worked for me and saved all of this trouble." Sheldon tilted his head down and looked at his hands in his lap.

Amy kept her hand on the top of his back for a few more seconds as he looked sadly down at his hands. This certainly wasn't the reaction she had been expecting, and it wasn't really one she wanted either. She wanted him to open up properly about his feelings, not to get upset about some silly movie that he wasn't going to get to see. She didn't mind if he started to cry, but she didn't want him to cry like this. This was how he reacted when he couldn't get his own way or didn't get something he wanted. It wasn't the cry of someone who was upset over missing his friend.

"I brought Thai food," Amy said as she stood up straight, hoping to move the conversation on and get away from the movie. "Are you hungry?" She asked as she headed over to the kitchen.

Sheldon nodded and headed over to the kitchen with her, he went through his usual checklist, making sure she had done everything correctly, and she had. He offered her a smile of thanks and they both headed to the couch to eat. Sheldon asked her about her day, and she told him all about her latest experiment on how a monkey's brain reacts when supplied with alcohol, and Sheldon made a comment about how she could simply have studied Penny and save the monkey the trouble. They both laughed and Amy found herself feeling glad that Sheldon seemed to be a little better than he was earlier.

Sheldon ate his food rather quickly as he talked to Amy. All of his thoughts of Star Trek and of his friend's departure were gone, as he focused his attention on her, one of the few things these days he was actually able to focus on. He found it odd that simply being with her could make him forget about all the troubles he was experiencing. For the first time in days he felt himself be truly happy again as he talked to her. This was what he enjoyed most about her company; the fact that he could talk to her without feeling the need to explain himself. She understood him perfectly, she was on the same intellectual wavelength as him and every time they spoke the conversation simply flowed. It was something that he had very rarely experienced, and he was glad that he was now able to have that with someone who had become so close to him.

They finished their takeout and after they had put everything away, they settled back onto the sofa. They talked some more and Amy asked how Penny was after leaving Leonard at the airport, still concerned about her friend. Sheldon explained how she was upset at first but upon arriving home seemed in much better spirits. He then told her about Raj and his recent breakthrough and then he motioned to his board and explained the problems he had been having solving the equation, although he didn't tell her the reason behind his inability to focus on it, and she happily offered her help. They worked on the equation for quite some time before once again retiring to the couch.

"So, when is Leonard due to set sail into the North Sea?" Amy asked as Sheldon turned on the television.

"Well, he is due to land in Edinburgh airport at 4am PDT, which will be 12pm over there, and then he is heading straight to the ship, although I don't know when he will be leaving the dock." He answered very matter-of-factly.

Amy nodded and couldn't help but notice the robotic tone in which he spoke. She could tell he had no interest in talking about it further, and she honestly didn't want to push him, but she could almost see the thoughts niggling at him, and she so wanted him to let go of his emotions.

Sheldon turned to her as he felt her eyes drilling holes into him. He could see the concern in her eyes, she was worried about him and he knew why. He had seen this look in her for the past few days, and he knew it was related to Leonard leaving. He gave her a small smile, in the hope it would ease the concern in her eyes but it didn't and she reached her hand out to take a hold of his. She was very rarely ever able to do this without him instantly flinching and complaining about her relentless need for physical contact, but on this occasion he did neither. He kept his eyes on hers as she intertwined her fingers with his in a way she hadn't ever done before.

He glanced down at their joined hands and couldn't help the small smile that crept on to his face. Both of them relaxed back into the sofa and watched the television that was on as they held their grip with one another. He felt Amy gently stroke her thumb over his skin and found that the contact was somehow soothing. It temporarily took away the slight feeling of hurt he had over his friend's absence. That single feeling of her fingers interlocked with his made the room brighten again, and made his heart rate quicken, but not from fear or apprehension, from excitement and happiness. It was rare that he would ever be glad that someone was sitting close beside him, and he was never happy when someone was touching him, but he was now. He was thankful that he had Amy with him, because having her hold his hand as they sat together, as well as having her around for the whole evening to talk to, made him feel better than he had in days, for reasons that he just couldn't explain. Not to her, and not even to himself.

* * *

Penny headed to her car at one in the morning, exhausted after a long shift and desperate to get to her bed. Thursday evenings were always busy, and she usually hated them because of it, but on this occasion she was so glad that she had a constant queue of people waiting to be served, because it kept her mind off of Leonard, but only just.

It was difficult knowing that when she went home, he wouldn't be there. Even although he rarely stayed at her apartment when she was working this late, it still bothered her that he wouldn't be there. He wouldn't even be across the hall. If she couldn't sleep, which was no doubt going to happen, then she would have no way of being comforted. She couldn't get up and go over to his room and cuddle with him there, she would just have to suffer through it until dawn finally broke.

When she got to her apartment she headed straight to her bedroom, got changed into her pyjamas and slid straight under the covers. She checked the time, 01:25am, and took a second to wonder where Leonard would be right now; somewhere over the top of the Atlantic Ocean. He wasn't due to land for another few hours, yet she felt an overwhelming need to speak to him. She wanted to hear his voice before she even tried to fall asleep but she knew it was impossible. Instead she sent him a text, one that she knew he wouldn't even get until he landed, but one she felt she had to send anyway.

_Hey, sweetie. I know you won't get this till you land but I _

_just wanted to remind you to call me when you do. I have some gossip for you! :) I love you, and I miss you. Xxxxx_

Penny sent the text off with a small grin, already thinking of the conversation they will have and set the phone down on her nightstand. She turned off her lamp and snuggled down into her bed, clinging to her pillow in an effort to replace her longing for the man that she couldn't have.

* * *

**Okay so it took me 13 chapters but I finally got to the point where Leonard has left! I think this could point to the fact that this story could be a long one, certainly longer than I had thought it would be! Also, you may have noticed that I made Leonard's ship be docked near Edinburgh. I know this is probably the least likely place that he would be sent, but I couldn't help myself, a little bit of patriotism coming through there I think! I also want to thank Rick, aka Tensor for the advice he has given me about how to write Leonard and Penny's feelings during this separation, it was something I was quite apprehensive about writing due to never actually experiencing it before! There wasn't much about it in this chapter but in the following ones there will be so I just wanted to get that out there! Anyway, i'm glad to hear from the reviews that you are all still enjoying this story, and I sincerely hope that you continue to enjoy it. :) **


	14. A New Home

**A New Home**

Leonard stepped off the plane and dragged himself to baggage claim. His back ached as well as his neck and he felt worn out. The ten-hour flight, spent with a young child behind him, occasionally crying and often kicking his chair, had taken a lot out of him. He grumbled as he grabbed his suitcase off the belt and as he entered the arrivals area, he met the sight of a tall, dark-haired man who was built like a tank, with a board that said 'Dr. Hofstadter'.

"Hello? I'm Dr Hofstadter." He said curiously as he walked over to the man, completely unsure about who he was, and why he had a sign with his name.

"Oh, hello, Dr Hofstadter," the man said in a thick Scottish accent as he extended his hand to him. "I'm Robbie, I'm here to drive you to the port."

"Oh," Leonard said with surprise as he shook his hand. "My own personal chauffeur!" He chuckled.

Robbie chuckled back, "Only for today doctor."

"Please, call me Leonard." He said and they headed out of the airport to his black BMW waiting in the car park. He threw his case in the trunk of the car and sat in the back seat, letting out a loud sigh of relief, finally in some comfort after his long, tiring flight.

Robbie proceeded to ask Leonard about his flight and about what he was going to be doing on the ship, as he drove them to their destination. Leonard explained it to him, and he replied with a 'wow', in a tone that suggested he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but that it must be important, because of how it sounded. It was a tone he was used to, having spent so much time with Penny.

It then dawned on him that he was supposed to call her when he landed, so he turned on his phone and waited a few moments for it to attach to a signal and as soon as it did it buzzed furiously, accompanied by a tone that told him he had received a text, and the screen told him it was from Penny.

_Hey, sweetie. I know you won't get this till you land but I _

_just wanted to remind you to call me when you do. I have some gossip for you! :) I love you, and I miss you. Xxxxx_

Leonard smiled goofily at the text. He assumed she had sent it sometime after work and he worked out in his head what time it would be over there now. It was almost one o'clock here, so it would be coming up for five in the morning in California. He hesitated. He didn't want to call and wake her up, but he knew if she woke up later on, knowing that he landed hours ago and hadn't called her like she had asked, she would just worry, just like he would if he was in the same situation. He scrolled up and hit 'call' on the screen under Penny's name and listened to the rings as he waited on her answering. He sat his head against the head rest and tiredly waited as the phone rang and rang and just when he was about to hang up and try again later, Penny's sweet, tired voice came through the phone.

"Hi." She croaked as she snuggled her head back into her pillow and held the phone to her ear. She had barely even woken up, it had taken her more than a minute to realize the phone beside her was actually ringing on the table and it wasn't just in her dreams.

"Hey, honey. Sorry I woke you up." He said, although he wasn't entirely. Hearing her voice brought a comfort to him that relaxed him instantly.

"It's okay." Penny said with a smile. "I'm glad you called. I was sure you weren't going to."

"I almost didn't." He chuckled. "I know how much you love your sleep."

"Hmm, I do." Penny said as she closed her eyes. "How was your flight?"

"Horrible. Some kid kept on hitting the back of my chair." He replied and Penny giggled. "It's not funny! My neck is killing me and I feel like I haven't slept in days."

"Aw, my poor baby." She cooed and Leonard nodded sadly, like he usually would in order to get sympathy, before it dawned on him that she couldn't see him and his efforts were futile. "You'll be okay. You have suffered through sleepless nights before because of Sheldon." She giggled.

"Yeah, that's true. So, how was work?"

Penny simply groaned into the phone.

"Oh, that bad huh?" He chuckled.

Penny giggled, "I guess it wasn't too bad. It was busy, which was good."

Leonard smiled into the phone, he could tell how tired she was by the sound of her voice and he could almost picture her lying in her bed with the phone to her ear and her eyes closed. "I should let you go. You probably want to get back to sleep."

"No, no." Penny quickly replied. "Don't go yet, keep talking to me, I'm fine. So, where are you now?"

"I'm on the road, heading to the port. It was pretty cool, when I got off the plane there was this guy standing with my name on a board, waiting to pick me up." Leonard chuckled and he heard the angelic sound of her giggling back. "Oh, what was the gossip you wanted to tell me?"

Penny frowned in confusion for a few moments as she tiredly searched her brain for what he was talking about, but she couldn't remember. "I don't know." She replied. "I can't remember. I'll tell you when I do."

"Okay." Leonard chuckled softly and noticed that Robbie was pulling up at the dock. He let out a disappointed groan, "I better go honey. I am coming up to the ship now."

"Really?" Penny whined sadly. She felt like she had only just gotten on the phone with him and she didn't want to hang up. "That was quick."

"Yeah, I know. I didn't realize how close we were to it." He replied in the same sad tone as her. "I'll call you again later, when I'm settled on the ship. Okay?"

Penny shook her head. It wasn't okay. She wanted to talk to him now, not later. She wanted to tell him that she already missed him like crazy, that she had trouble sleeping in her own bed because he wasn't in it with her. She wanted to tell him that hearing his voice through the phone for these few moments made her feel warm inside for the first time in hours and she desperately didn't want that to end. It was pathetic considering he hadn't even been gone for 24 hours, but it was how she felt.

But she couldn't tell him all that. She repeated to herself what she had told herself earlier; that she had to be strong for him. She had to support him and breaking down on her first phone call with him didn't fall under that category. "Okay. Make sure you do…" She said quietly and let out a sigh, "I miss you." She said, unable to stop the crack in her voice.

Leonard's mouth curled into a smile, "I miss you too. Goodbye honey, I love you."

"Bye sweetie." She said as a tear rolled down her cheek. She was glad he couldn't see her at that moment. "I love you too." She said and then they both reluctantly hung up.

Penny sighed as she buried her head in her pillow, wondering if it was even really possible to miss someone this much already. She put her phone back on the nightstand and tried her hardest to fall back to sleep. She turned and faced the side of the bed where he would normally be and gently touched the empty space. She shuffled over so she was lying on his side of the bed and took a breath, smelling the faintest remnants of his scent on her pillow and moved her hand up to gently tap the material of it with her finger, saying a silent _thump-thump_ in her head, trying to fool herself into believing his heart was beating beside her, and after a while she found herself believing it and drifting off.

* * *

Leonard stepped out of the car and grabbed his case from the trunk. He spotted the huge grey ship sitting at the dock that would be his home for the next few months, and then spotted a small group of people with bags like him and assumed that they were scientists destined for the ship too. He went over and introduced himself to the group. He discussed with them what fields each of them participated in and they talked for a while about how excited they all were about starting work on the ship. The crowd was a real mixture of people from all over the world. All of them spoke English but he heard accents from France, Germany, Russia, Japan, Spain, England and even Australia. It was then he realized just what an honour it was for him to be chosen to work here. There were brilliant people from all over the world about to put their knowledge to the test on this ship, and he was one of them.

After a while two smartly dressed men came over and introduced themselves as the heads of the research operation. The first man to introduce himself was Dr Maxwell. He was a little taller than Leonard, with a stocky build and dark hair that was greying at the sides. He was instantly likeable with his friendly demeanour and charming personality, Leonard already felt like he could trust him. Dr Watts, the second man, on the other hand was quiet, unsettlingly so. He was about the same height as Dr Maxwell but he was thinner and completely bald. His face was in an almost constant scowl as he stood with his arms crossed and studied each and every person around him. He made Leonard a little nervous, but he tried not to show it to him.

The small group was then instructed to follow the two men into the ship and they were split up into two groups and shown to their rooms. To Leonard's relief, his group was led by Dr Maxwell. He was directed to a room that had his and another persons name on the door, 'Mr Paul Shields', who he assumed was going to be his roommate.

The room was fairly large, with two single beds, two wardrobes, two desks, a small sofa with a television in front of it and a bathroom. There was also a small kitchen that consisted of a fridge, a sink and a small preparation area and a small two person dining area. The walls were plain and fairly dull, a horrible greyish blue colour covered them and it gave the room a cold feeling. The room was fairly reminiscent of his dorm in college, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

Dr Maxwell informed him that his roommate will be along shortly, as he was travelling up from London and got caught in traffic. He told them that later on there will be a small orientation of the living areas provided and then tomorrow they will be shown around their work spaces. He then told him that he, and the rest of the scientists, had the rest of today to get settled into the ship and become familiar with each other and their surroundings. He pointed him towards a telephone that was sitting on the nightstand beside his bed, and told him that each phone had a specific number for relatives and loved ones to get in touch, and that all outgoing calls will be paid for, so he was free to call out anytime. Dr Maxwell then informed him that the internet connection was fairly good and that he should have no real problems with it, except at peak times or during particularly stormy weather, although this was something Leonard had already anticipated.

Leonard thanked Dr Maxwell for all the information, it really helped knowing that it would be easy enough to get in touch with his friends back home, and that they could easily get in touch with him too. Dr Maxwell then asked Leonard to choose a bed, so that he could take note of which phone would be his, and therefore what his phone number for the next few months would be and then he left with a smile and a promise to get properly acquainted later on.

As soon as he was gone Leonard dropped his bags on the floor before collapsing onto the bed that he had chosen to be his. He let out a sigh of relief as he rested his head on his pillow and felt all the aches of the day slowly begin to fade. He glanced around what had become his home for the next four months and then closed his eyes and settled into bed, hoping that he would be able to get some sort of sleep before being shown around the rest of the ship later on.


	15. Leonard To The Rescue

**Leonard To The Rescue**

Sheldon woke up at his usual time of half past six, ready to begin his morning routine of getting ready for work. He used the bathroom, showered, got dressed and had breakfast, but although his routine was exactly the same as always, the apartment felt completely different. It was quiet, eerily so.

Even although Leonard didn't spend every night in their apartment, preferring to stay with Penny instead, he would always be there in the kitchen, every weekday morning, sometimes with Penny by his side, talking and giggling away as they ate their breakfast, waiting to go to work. Sheldon, of course, would complain about her presence and about the noise the two of them were making, but he now found he missed it. He had gotten used to the tedious questions Leonard would ask him each morning regarding how he was and how well he had slept, and although he would always complain to him about the tiresome process of that insignificant conversation, he now found it odd not having to answer those questions. He found now that he missed the friendly teasing that they would subject each other to, filling the time as they prepared to go to work.

There was only one good thing about this whole situation, and that was that Amy would be at his apartment soon. It was Friday, and she was scheduled to take him to work on Fridays. That thought comforted him as he sat through the silence, and waited on Amy to knock on his door.

Amy knocked Sheldon's apartment door at half past seven, ready to do as she had promised and take him to work. She waited patiently and after a few moments Sheldon opened the door with a smile, obviously quite happy to see her.

They greeted each other as Sheldon closed his apartment door and locked it behind him. He had to admit he was glad that Amy had the majority of the responsibility of taking him to work, because he knew that his rides to work with her would be much more intellectually satisfying than those with Penny. He was dreading his Tuesday morning with the fiery blonde, because he knew, through experience, that she was not a morning person. Amy on the other hand was used to these early mornings, and acted no different with him now than she would if it were the middle of the day. It was one of the reasons he was so happy to see her, because while the rest of his life around him was changing, he could always count on her to stay relatively the same. He knew he would be able to have interesting conversations with her, just like he always did, and it would start his day off perfectly. If he had it his way, Amy would be the one to take him to work every day, but he wasn't ready to admit that to her yet.

They walked down the stairs together and Amy was glad to see that he seemed to be a little more at ease than he had last night, although she knew she couldn't really rely on his outward appearance to judge his inside emotions, he was very good at masking how he really felt. None-the-less, Amy acted just as she usually would with him in an attempt to keep things between them as normal as possible, to balance out the huge change that had just occurred in his life.

They chatted about many things as Amy made her way to Cal-tech to drop him off, none of which included any tedious chatter that Sheldon would usually have to sit through with Leonard. He sat happily in the passenger seat as they talked about Sheldon's equation from the night before, and then settled into a challenging game of counterfactuals.

They arrived at Cal-tech in plenty of time and Sheldon thanked Amy for the ride, and then watched her drive off. It was only just before eight o'clock, but Sheldon already felt the clogs ticking over nicely in his brain due to the stimulating conversation with her, preparing him for the day ahead and he happily headed to his office, ready to put his brilliant mind to work.

* * *

Penny woke up only an hour or so after her talk with Leonard. The glaringly obvious empty space beside her was still giving her trouble falling asleep properly.

She spent most of her day lounging around her apartment and couldn't help but think how typical it was that she would have nowhere to go, no work to do or people to see, on the one day she really needed that distraction. She kept herself as busy as possible that morning, doing housework and watching television, wondering all the while what Leonard would be doing, if he was missing her as much as she was already missing him, or if he had already started work on his experiments, giving him the distractions that she so desperately needed.

Penny spent the rest of that day, curled up on her sofa. There was a horrible moment when she heard footsteps outside her door and thought that it was Leonard, just finished work and heading over to see her, just like he usually would. But it wasn't. Those footsteps continued up the next flight of stairs and Penny felt a stab at her heart. It was insane. She knew it wasn't him, it couldn't be, but that split second of hope, crippled her. That small moment when she thought everything was just as it always was, was a second of heaven that she was paying for now. Reality crashed down on her after that second and she broke down. She curled herself up in a ball on her sofa and cried through the pain in her chest.

She cried until her body physically ached and she moved herself off the couch. She headed to the bathroom and washed away all evidence of her tears, and re-applied some of her make-up before leaving her apartment. She drove around for a little while, glad to get out of her apartment and away from the constant reminders of him, before heading to the Chinese restaurant to pick up everyone's dinner.

Penny arrived at 4a ten minutes before five o'clock, hoping that the fact she was early, would make up for the fact that she had forgotten to take the list Leonard gave her of Sheldon's preferences when it came to Chinese food, therefore subjecting her to Sheldon's inevitable whines. She entered the apartment and was surprised to see that only Sheldon was there, sitting, as usual, in his spot. She had a second of confusion as she looked at Leonard's chair and almost let the words, 'Where's Leonard?', creep out of her mouth. She shook her head and looked down at the floor as the same feeling as before stabbed at her heart. _He isn't here Penny, he isn't here._ She repeated to herself in an attempt to stop her having these fleeting moments of forgetfulness.

"You're early." Sheldon said with a slight tilt of the head and a furrowed brow, suggesting he was quite surprised to see her. His words pulled her from her thoughts and she looked up again.

"Um... yeah." She said with the best smile she could muster, as she headed to the kitchen. She cleared her throat as she put the takeout on the counter. "Where are the rest of the guys?"

"They will be here at half five." Sheldon said as he stood up and followed her to the kitchen to check out the food that she had brought.

"What?" Penny said as she stood back, "Why did you ask me to be here for five if everyone isn't going to be here until half past?"

"I assumed you would be late." Sheldon said and Penny rolled her eyes as he rummaged through the bags. He enquired about each item of his order, as he usually did and Penny replied yes to each, although she knew each thing was wrong, but figured lying would at least give her a few more moments of peace before his inevitable moans, which she was really not in the mood for right now.

Penny watched nervously as he went to his spot to sit down and began to open up his dinner. She took a breath as she waited on the crazy man to start whingeing about how she hadn't gotten the correct rice, soy sauce, or because she hadn't asked for the chicken to be shredded instead of diced, but to her luck, Sheldon's laptop began to play the tune that indicated someone was calling him on Skype and she smiled as she took her own food and headed to sit on Leonard's chair.

Sheldon immediately stood up and headed over to his desk, thinking the caller was Amy, but when he reached his desk he realized that it was Leonard. His heart jumped just a little with excitement, although he managed to keep a cool and calm presence as he answered the call, still not ready for anyone to know just how much he was feeling the absence of his friend. The long wait between finishing work and waiting for Penny to arrive with dinner had been quite depressing. The only thing that really got him through it was the fact that soon, the room would be filled with people and hopefully it would make Leonard's absence less obvious.

"Hello, Leonard." Sheldon said when his face popped up on the screen.

Penny almost spat out the food in her mouth, both shocked and excited that Leonard had called. She wondered for a second why he had called Sheldon and not her, but quickly dismissed the thought as the mere happiness that she was going to see his face on that screen took over her insecure worries. "Leonard?" She said as she walked over towards Sheldon's desk.

"Hey, Sheldon." Leonard said with a drowsy tone. "Hey Penny, I tried calling your cell but there was no answer."

"Oh, crap, yeah I left it at home when I went to get food." She said as she checked her jeans pocket. She stood beside Sheldon and smiled when she saw his face on the screen. The picture wasn't perfect, it was slightly distorted and there was a definite delay in the speed in which the picture moved compared to the sound that came from the speakers, but it was him, he was there in front of her and she was so happy so see that face. "How are you, sweetie? What's the ship like?" She asked excitedly, "What time is it over there?" She asked with concern, before he could even answer her first question, "Should you not be in bed?"

Sheldon looked up at Penny with a frown and Leonard giggled, "One thing at a time honey. I'm fine, the ship is pretty cool, but I haven't had a chance to see it all yet. It's just after one in the morning, but I had a nap earlier so I'm not overly tired yet. I guess my body is still getting used to the time difference."

Penny smiled and was about to speak again but Sheldon cut her off. "Penny, Leonard called me, not you, so I think it is only fair that I speak to him now."

Penny frowned at Sheldon, who continued to glare back at her. "Fine." She said sadly, unable to deny him the chance to talk to his best friend. "I'll go eat my dinner." She turned around to go back to her seat and watched on while Sheldon asked Leonard all sorts of questions about the ship and his experiments. She didn't mind waiting her turn to talk to him. The fact that she was eating her dinner and could hear his voice in the background was enough right now.

"I haven't started work yet Sheldon. We are getting an orientation around all the work labs tomorrow so we probably won't actually start working until Saturday. How did your first day without me go? Missing me yet?" He asked with a chuckle.

Sheldon frowned, "No."

"Don't lie Sheldon!" Penny shouted from the chair With a mouthful of dumplings.

Sheldon shook his head as he heard Leonard chuckle on the other end of the computer. "Seriously though Sheldon, how are you?"

"Well, last night I had a very pleasant evening with Amy, who was perfectly on time this morning to collect me from work. We even played counterfactuals on the way!" He said excitedly, "Penny then turned up _early_ with my dinner, but got most of my order wrong, even although she tried to pretend she hadn't." He continued and Penny opened her mouth in shock, unsure at how he knew, when he hadn't even opened his food yet. "And yesterday I realized, with all the hoo-ha around you leaving, that we forgot to book tickets to see the new Star-Trek movie, so I will probably have to wait weeks before I get to see it." He let out a sad sigh.

"Oh," Leonard said with a hint of a smile. "Well, actually, that is one of the reasons I called you." Sheldon raised an eyebrow of curiosity. "Go into my desk drawer, the third one down." Sheldon continued to look at him with confusion. "Go on." Leonard said with a nod.

Sheldon did as he was told as Penny looked on from the side lines, wondering what was going on as she ate her food.

"There should be a white envelope in there, take it out and open it." Leonard said from the computer screen.

Sheldon opened the drawer and saw the envelope sitting on top of a few notepads and lifted it out. He walked over to sit back at his desk as he looked at it with uncertainty, still unsure what was inside. He looked up at Leonard with the same frown on his face and Leonard nodded towards the screen. "Go on then, open it."

"Is this a gift? You know I don't like gifts, Leonard."

"Just open it." Leonard replied.

At that moment Penny stood up and walked over to the desk to watch Sheldon open the envelope, the curiosity of the situation getting the better of her. Sheldon looked briefly up at Penny before tentatively opening the envelope and pulling out four cinema tickets. His eyes widened and a smile broke out on his face as he read the tickets, each one dated Saturday the 18th of May, and destined for Star Trek: Into the Darkness. Penny smiled as Sheldon looked at the tickets one by one, almost as if he didn't quite believe they were real and began to pant with excitement.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God."

"I ordered them online a couple of weeks ago, before I found out I was coming here. I tried to get ones for the opening night but they sold out pretty quickly, I guess that was a good thing in the end." Leonard chuckled. "So yeah, you guys can still go, but you have to promise me you won't tell me _anything_ about it. I mean it. No spoilers. I want to see it when I get back and I don't want to already know everything that is going to happen."

Sheldon smiled and nodded, before his expression abruptly changed, as if he had just realized something important. "But there are four tickets here. We didn't put anything in the schedule about who would replace you at the cinema."

"Oh yeah." Leonard replied, and then shrugged his shoulders. "Just give the extra ticket to someone else… Stuart maybe?"

Sheldon scrunched his face up and looked at Leonard as if he had just said the most stupid thing in the world. "Really? Stuart? No." He said shaking his head, "That would be like replacing Captain Kirk with some inexperienced Cadet with no _idea_ how to lead the star command." Sheldon sighed as he looked down at the tickets, while Leonard raised his eyebrows and smiled, feeling quite flattered at the subtle show of how Sheldon viewed him.

"I thought you said I was 'unnamed crewman in red shirt'?"

"Hmm." Sheldon said with a brief shrug, "Depends on my mood." Leonard chuckled and shook his head as Sheldon continued to ponder his problem.

"Why don't you sell it?" Penny said.

"Or you could take Amy?" Leonard suggested.

Penny instantly glared at Leonard, knowing how much Amy hated those movies and Leonard held up his hands to show his innocence at the comment.

"Hmmm." Sheldon said, deep in thought. "I suppose I _could_ ask Amy to come. We already have that Lt Uhura costume she could wear…" Sheldon pondered this thought for a moment longer, "And since Spock and Lt Uhura are romantically involved in the movies, it will be in keeping with Amy's rule of only dressing in couples costumes..." He thought for another second and nodded, "Yes I will ask Amy to go." He then looked back up at the screen. "Thank you Leonard." He said with utmost sincerity that made both Penny and Leonard smile warmly.

"You're welcome Sheldon, but remember-"

"I know, no spoilers." He said, finishing of Leonard's sentence. "Oh, I better go call Amy and tell her the good news!" Sheldon jumped off his seat excitedly, still clutching the envelope that held the precious tickets and pulled out his cell to call Amy.

Penny watched Sheldon in bemusement for a second, wondering how he could get so excited over a movie and then turned her attention back to Leonard. "You are too good to him you know that." She said as she sat on Sheldon's seat.

"Well, it wasn't really just for him it was for all the guys, he just gets the most excited over it." Leonard chuckled and then stifled a yawn.

"Sweetie you should go get some sleep, you must be exhausted." She really didn't want the conversation to end, but she could see how tired he looked and she really didn't want to keep him awake for too long.

"Yeah I might head to bed now." He said as he stretched his arms out. "Enjoy vintage video game night." He giggled and Penny rolled her eyes.

"She said yes!" Sheldon said as he came out of his room. "Amy is going to come tomorrow to see Star Trek! Oh I'm so excited I don't even know what to do with myself!" He gasped, "I should go get my Spock costume ready!" He said before running back into his room.

Penny giggled and then turned back to Leonard, "Thanks for this." She said sarcastically, "You have just made him hyper and now I have to deal with him for the rest of the night." Leonard simply stuck his tongue out at her and she screwed up her nose. He yawned again and Penny decided it really was about time she just said goodbye, although the thought of doing it was killing her. "You really should go now honey." She said and he nodded. "Give me a call again tomorrow okay?" He nodded again, the tiredness clearly showing in his heavy eyelids. "Okay, goodnight." She said as she moved towards the laptop and began to repeatedly give the screen quick kisses, making Leonard giggle on the other side.

"Penny!" Sheldon said when he left his room, Star trek uniform in hand, to see the Nebraskan putting her germs all over his laptop. "Stop defiling my laptop!"

Penny moved away and giggled at Sheldon's horror. "G'night sweetie." She said again to Leonard. "Love you."

"I love you too. Bye Sheldon." Leonard said to the figure hovering by the kitchen, hanging his costume on his whiteboard.

"Good bye Leonard." He shouted and with that Leonard left the conversation to get some much needed rest.

No sooner had Leonard hung up, than Howard and Raj came through the door.

"Hey Raj!" Penny said with excitement, knowing that he could now talk to her without the influence of alcohol. She remembered at that point that that was the gossip she had intended on telling Leonard earlier and made a note to herself to tell him during their next chat.

"Hi Penny." He said with excitement back to her.

Sheldon then told the guys all about the tickets Leonard had given them and they enthusiastically discussed what characters they were going to dress up as for the next evening. Penny sat bored in Leonard's chair as she listened to them talk about things she just didn't have any interest in, but had no intention of leaving the apartment to return to the loneliness of her own.

Eventually Penny managed to get them to turn their attention to what the night was supposed to be about; playing video games, and she played with the nerdy group for the remainder of the night, waiting until she could barely keep her eyes open, before heading to her apartment to go to bed, leaving the boys to discuss their plans for the next day.


	16. She Has Her Girls

**So I'm hungover, im at work and I'm updating my story. Little pat on the back there for me. Any reviews for this chapter you could give are severely appreciated in order to get me through the rest of my four hours at work :) even if its just to tell me everything will be ok soon and my sore head will go away :) oh and use small words haha **

* * *

**She Has Her Girls**

Leonard was awake for eight o'clock the next day. His muscles still ached slightly from his long flight, and the hard mattress he had slept on had done nothing to help it. He still felt quite tired, most likely due to jetlag, but he was excited to start his day and get a good look around the labs that he would be working in.

The day before, he and the rest of the scientists were shown around the living areas of the ship. There was a cafeteria that served food until 10pm, as well as a communal area that had a few televisions and several sofas around them. Each television had different games consoles beside them and a selection of games. There was a few chess tables, a couple of tables with chairs around them and a pool table. There was also a separate room that was to be used like a library. It had several shelves full of reading material of all kinds and plenty of comfy chairs scattered around. Leonard couldn't help but think how homey they had managed to make the place look, despite the cold, dark features of the ship that surrounded it. Dr Maxwell and Dr Watts informed them that they had set up these areas in an attempt to help all the people working on the ship to bond, therefore helping how well they would work together on the experiments they had to carry out. They were then walked through the long, dark corridors to the gym, where there were a few treadmills, bench presses, a swimming pool and a few other machines that Leonard just didn't recognise. A few people in the group seemed very excited about the idea of having a gym nearby, although most of the group seemed pretty unimpressed, Leonard being one of them. Dr Maxwell encouraged them to work out at least a little every now and again, just so that they would get some exercise during this trip.

He had also gotten the chance yesterday to meet his roommate, Paul Shields, although it was fairly brief. When Paul had finally arrived on the ship after his hellish journey up from London, he had already missed orientation, and looked truly exhausted. Leonard was only able to exchange a quick introduction with the man before he collapsed on his bed and fell asleep.

Leonard stretched out in his bed and groaned as he got up. He noticed the figure of his roommate still in bed sleeping, so he tried his best to be as quiet as possible as he showered and got dressed. Leonard then searched the cupboards and pulled out some cereal, then took the soy milk that he had requested the day before and poured it into his bowl and sat at the small dining table.

As he ate his breakfast he noticed his roommate begin to wake up. Leonard felt slightly awkward at first. He knew very little about this man and wasn't sure if he would appreciate any small talk first thing in the morning, so he stayed quiet and flicked through the welcome booklet that had been placed in their room.

To Leonard's relief, Paul gave him a warm smile and began to talk to him as he rummaged through the fully stocked cupboards. He spoke in a proper English accent that told Leonard he either came from a wealthy family, or had attended a posh school where he had picked it up. The tension was eased immediately as the fair haired man poured himself some cereal, and joked when he found out that Leonard was lactose intolerant, telling him a story about back in his college days when one of his friends suffered the same condition and they switched his soy milk for regular milk, causing him huge embarrassment throughout all of his classes that day. Leonard laughed along with him, but secretly hoped he didn't intend on doing the same thing to him.

They got to know each other as they ate their breakfast and Leonard found that although his looks, build and height were all fairly average, his confident personality and extreme likeability made him seem anything but that. He told Leonard that he graduated Law at Cambridge University, although he said that this was simply to appease his parents who were also lawyers. He said he then moved on to study Mechanical Engineering, which he had become pretty successful in, often travelling the world to help out scientists with their experiments. Paul was younger than Leonard, although not by much, and seemed to Leonard to be a pretty nice guy.

Leonard then offered to show Paul around the parts of the ship he had missed yesterday and he gratefully accepted. They made their way through the ship as Leonard showed him all the places he had been shown the day before and when they reached the communal area they found that most of the other people working on the ship were already gathered there, talking in groups, playing pool and watching television. Paul then challenged Leonard to a game of chess, something Paul told him he hadn't played since college, which he accepted and they played as they waited to be shown around the rest of the ship, to the labs where they would be working.

* * *

Penny got in her car and bumped her head against the steering wheel with a sigh. She had just finished her Saturday morning shift at The Cheesecake Factory, and she was tired. She hadn't slept very well, and her busy shift done nothing to help it. She didn't usually work Saturday mornings, but when one of the girls asked her to cover her shift, she agreed, simply because she wanted to get away from her home for a while. Working was the only thing that was really keeping her mind off of Leonard. It was the only time when she didn't feel so empty, because her mind was focused on something else.

She really hated it, that him being away made her feel this way, especially when he hadn't even been gone long. She had never been the type of woman to rely on someone else to keep her happy. She was a strong, independent woman who could get by on her own, she didn't need anyone else. But that was no longer true, she needed him. Not for financial reasons, although he had helped with that in the past, but for her happiness. He was the only one who made her truly happy and being without him these few days was killing her.

Walking past his apartment door, knowing that he wasn't inside, and wouldn't be again for some time, hurt. Going into his apartment yesterday, expecting him to be sitting in his chair, even although she knew he wouldn't be, hurt. Waking up, and having that moment when she was still not fully awake and reaching out for him, expecting him to be there but wasn't, hurt. Finishing work, like she just had, and going home, knowing that he wasn't going to be around, hurt. It all hurt and she wasn't sure how much of it she would be able to take.

Tears began to fall from her eyes and she cried against her steering wheel for a few minutes, wallowing in self-pity, before forcing herself to stop and snap out of it. He was gone, yes, but he wasn't gone forever. He would be back and she wouldn't feel that hurt again, it helped to know that, but it didn't help enough.

She took a few deep breaths and fixed her makeup in her rear view mirror before picking up her cell to call Amy and then Bernadette. She arranged with them to come to her place later on so that they could help get Amy all ready for her night at the cinema with the boys. Amy happily agreed, thinking that if she was going to have to go to this silly movie, she wanted to look good doing it, and Penny was glad that Bernadette also agreed because she could stay behind with her once everyone else had left, and keep her company for the rest of the night.

Penny then drove to the garage, so that she could get whatever was making that little light on her dashboard light up, fixed, so that when she had to take Sheldon to work on Tuesday, he would have one less thing to moan about. When she got there she gave her keys to the mechanic, who told her he would give her a call later on to let her know what was going to need to be done to her car. She thanked the man and then began to walk back to her apartment, which was only about fifteen minutes away.

As she walked her mind went, as it always did, to Leonard. She checked the time and then used the app on her phone that told her what time it was in Europe. It was a little after twelve o'clock in Pasadena, which meant it should be just after eight where Leonard was. Penny smiled and began to walk a little faster, determined to get to her apartment so she could call him before he went to bed.

Penny hurried up the stairs of her apartment building and quickly opened her door. She headed into her bedroom and switched on her laptop, then grabbed herself a bottle of water as she waited on it to load. Once it had, she clicked on the Skype icon and then Leonard's name and waited as it called him. She sat her laptop on her coffee table and pulled the table forward as she sat cross legged on her sofa, waiting excitedly for him to answer. When he finally did Penny's heart leaped and she was unable to contain her smile as they greeted each other and chatted away about their day.

"So sweetie, how are you doing with being out at sea? Did you get any sickness yet?" Penny asked him with concern, after all the usual pleasantries were over.

"Oh, we haven't actually left the dock yet. I think we are due to leave tomorrow, but I'm sure I will be fine." Leonard said dismissively.

"Hmm." She replied with an unconvinced tilt of her head, "Okay. Oh by the way, I remembered what I had to tell you!" She said excitedly as she picked up her laptop and sat it on her crossed legs. "Raj spoke to me, _without_ alcohol!"

"Wow, really?" He replied with shock. "When?"

"Yup really! It was just after I dropped you at the airport, I stopped at his place to see how he was doing and he started talking to me about how much he missed Lucy, and I told him that I knew how he felt because I missed you too," She gave him a quick smile that he returned, "and then we realized that he was talking to me and he hadn't had anything to drink since the party."

"That's amazing, I'm so happy for him. I'll need to remember and give him a call sometime soon."

Penny nodded as she took a drink of her water, "So how are you getting on with all the other scientists, you made any new friends yet?" She giggled.

Leonard chuckled, "I haven't really had a chance to meet them all yet. But the ones I have met seem okay. My roommate seems like a nice guy, his name is Paul. You would like him, he's British."

Penny giggled, "Oooh! When do I get to meet him?"

"Never." Leonard said with a smile.

"Aww!"

"I'm kidding, I'll let you meet him, but he's not here right now."

Penny smiled into laptop for a few seconds as she looked at the image of him on her screen. It wasn't the same, talking to him like this, but she tried not to dwell on it, and instead focused on the fact that she _was_ talking to him. This wasn't like the time he went to the North Pole and she had no contact with him at all. He was always a phone call away, although that still felt too far.

"What is your room like?" She asked.

"It's alright." He said with a shrug.

"Show me it!" She said excitedly. "Oooh! You could do it like MTV Cribs!"

"Huh?" Leonard said with a screwed up face.

"You know! Remember we watched it a few weeks ago? Where the famous people show the tv crew around their homes!?"

"Oh, yeah... I remember." He said glumly.

Penny giggled and sat back, holding the laptop in place on her lap. "Go on then, show me."

"Alright," Leonard said with a nod as he stood up with his laptop. He took it through to the bathroom, "This right here is the bathroom." He said as he moved the laptop around the room.

"Very… nice?" Penny said with a raised eyebrow at the dull room.

He giggled, "Yeah, it's not very exciting, but it will do." He then walked out and scanned the laptop over the small living area and then headed to the small kitchen. "And this here is the kitchen. All the cupboards are fully stocked with all sorts of goodies," He giggled as he opened each one and then went to the fridge. "There's not really very much in here, just some water, milk; soy _and_ regular!" He said to the screen with a smile, "Some eggs, bacon, fruit..."

"You gotta go shopping." Penny giggled.

Leonard nodded and sighed as he shut the fridge door. "This is my desk," He said as he walked over and scanned the laptop over it.

"It's very bare."

"Yeah, I haven't really had a chance to pull everything out of my suitcase so all my figures and photos are still in there." He then moved to the suitcase on the floor that had some clothes spilling out of it. "See. My wardrobe over there is still empty." He chuckled and then moved the screen to the bed. "And this is my bed."

"Where you sleep alone I hope." Penny teased.

"Hmm," Leonard smiled, "For now…"

Penny tried to glare at him, but failed and ended up giggling, then shook her head as he sat down on his bed and rested the laptop on his lap.

"Well, that is it. My new home."

Penny nodded slowly, "There's not much too it."

Leonard shrugged. "Like I said earlier, it will do. Plus there is another room with a couple of tv's and some games and stuff for everyone, and there's a little library, a gym and a canteen. So we are pretty well looked after."

"What about your lab?" Penny asked.

"You want to see my lab?" He asked and Penny nodded. "Alright, but I can't show you it just now. It's over at the other end of the ship, so I'll show you next time I'm down there with my laptop."

"Aw, ok." She said sounding a little disappointed, and just as she was about to ask him something else, there was a knock on her door. "Oh, that will be the girls." She said as she got up and answered the door.

Bernadette and Amy came in and greeted Leonard on the laptop. They asked him how he was doing and if he had started working yet, and then Amy sarcastically thanked him for giving Sheldon the idea of inviting her to see Star Trek to which Leonard simply giggled.

Penny headed to her room while the girls were talking to Leonard and got changed out of her uniform. When she returned she reached her hands out for the laptop.

"Okay girls, gimme him back." She giggled.

The girls chuckled together and said their goodbye's to Leonard before handing the laptop back to Penny who took it to her dining table. Her demeanour changed almost instantly when she realized that she had to say goodbye to him again. Out of everything she hated about him being away, this was one of the things she hated most. "Alright so, I guess I will talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, but we are heading out to sea tomorrow, and I'm not sure how good the internet connection will be, so I will probably call your cell." He replied.

"Okay." She said with a nod and then took a breath to suppress her tears. "Bye sweetie."

"Bye. I love you."

"Love you too."

Penny watched as his image disappeared from her screen and closed the laptop. She could feel the tears building up in her throat as her chest tightened around her. "Aaarrrgghhh." She moaned with a sad growl as she closed her eyes, slumped down and rested her head against the back of the wooden chair.

"Is everything okay Penny?" Bernadette asked as she turned around from her spot on the sofa to look at her.

Penny just shook her head as she put her hands over her face and the girls instantly stood up and went over to her. Amy sat on the chair opposite her, while Bernadette put a hand to her shoulder.

"I _hate_ saying goodbye to him." She choked out as she removed her hands from her face and leant her head on Bernadette's hand.

"I know." Bernadette said as she moved her hand and pulled her head towards her for a hug. Penny allowed herself to cry for a few seconds, before moving her head from Bernadette's stomach, and wiping away her tears.

"I'm sorry." She sniffled. "I didn't mean to get all emotional." She said with a tearful giggle.

"You don't need to be sorry. We understand." Amy said with a small smile.

Penny gave Amy a small smile in return, "Okay, enough of this, let's get you all dressed up for Star Trek!" She giggled as Amy huffed and rolled her eyes.

At that moment Penny took some comfort in the fact that she might not have Leonard, but at least she has her girls to help get her through the next few months.


	17. It's In Her Eyes

**First of all, I should say thank you to everyone who reviewed yesterday and wished me well with my hangover. You might like to know I spent much of my day yesterday in bed after work, watching Big Bang Theory re-runs and occasionally writing down a few paragraphs to this story. **

**Next thing I should point out, I am not a fan of Star Trek. Star Wars is probably the only space movie I was ever interested in, and that was more than likely because I grew up with two little brothers who were obsessed by it. I spent many days reluctantly watching those movies and even more being forced into lightsaber fights. I always used the blue one, and I always won. :)**

**Anyway, like I was saying, I know less than nothing about Star Trek, so I spent a good bit of time on the internet trying to figure some of it out and looking at pictures so I could describe Sheldon and Amys outfits! So don't judge me if anything mentioned now, or later is completely wrong, I tried my best!**

* * *

**It's In Her Eyes**

Sheldon woke up at his usual time on Saturday, feeling a little better than he had the previous mornings. He still felt Leonard's absence, often expecting him to walk in the door after spending the night with Penny. He managed to get past it however, with keeping himself busy, and focused on the day ahead. The guys had arranged to come over to the apartment and get ready together, so that they could help each other out with their costumes and make-up. Raj decided he was going to go as Worf again and Howard wanted to go as a Borg, as they were both disappointed they didn't get to show off their costumes at the Bakersfield Comic Con, and as far as he knew, Amy was going to be across the hall with the girls getting herself ready as Lt Uhura.

The more he thought about it, the more excited he became, although there was still a part of him that felt weird doing all of this without Leonard, after all, what good is a landing party without their captain? He shook that thought from his mind however, and headed downstairs to do his laundry, since he won't be able to do it tonight and the thought of doing it one day late was one he couldn't stomach. Certain things around him may be changing, but that didn't mean his usual routine had to too.

As the day went on his mood only increased as the excitement of tonight built. He hummed the tune to Star Trek as he made his way back up the stairs after doing his laundry and continued to hum as he put his clothes away. Once he was done, he steamed his uniform, then sat on his spot as he waited on the other guys to arrive. He found himself fidgeting, unable to stay still as he anticipated their arrival and in those moments, his excitement began to waiver. He looked around the apartment as he drummed his fingers on his knees, thinking how empty the apartment felt. For the first time since he moved in, he noticed just how large the apartment was, too large for just one person. This was an apartment that begged to be filled with another presence.

Luckily, Howard and Raj burst through the door, giving him something else to focus on besides his absent friend. The guys put down all their gear and they all immediately went about getting themselves perfectly made up for their night at the cinema, and temporarily, all thoughts of Leonard were gone.

* * *

"You look fantastic Amy!" Penny and Bernadette exclaimed as Amy twirled in front of them.

"I do, don't I?" Amy replied as she admired herself in the full length mirror on the back of Penny's door. She was dressed in a form fitting dark red, ladies Star Trek uniform. The bottom half of the dress stopped just above her knee and she wore a pair of black boots that stopped a few inches under her knee. Her hair was scraped up into a high pony tail, her dark brown locks falling to her neck. Her make-up was subtle, per Amy's request, but the girls made sure to bring focus to her dark brown eyes with a hint of eyeliner and mascara. They even took her glasses off and replaced them with contact lenses, just to make them stand out a little more.

"I just wish I didn't have to wear this silly dress." She said as she fidgeted with the material around her body. "It looks stupid."

Penny and Bernadette giggled, they had to agree, not to the fact it looked stupid, because Amy looked pretty fantastic in it, but to her reluctance to wear it, because neither of them fancied wearing it either. "You make it work, sweetie. I'm sure Mr Spock will love it!" Penny said, raising her eyebrows.

"Hmm." Amy replied. "I'm sure Mr Spock won't notice." She said rather glumly.

"Oh, don't say that!" Bernadette said. "He will love it."

Amy hesitated in the mirror for another few seconds. She did look good, but she knew the one person she wanted to impress wouldn't take any notice of it, despite what her friends had been saying to try and convince her otherwise. Amy nervously reached up and touched the hair that the girls had done for her. She wasn't too sure what she was nervous about, she had dressed as Lt Uhura before and she had been to the cinema with the group before, so what was there to be worried about?

Nothing really. Nothing, that is, except the reaction of Sheldon. He wasn't used to seeing her like this and she knew he didn't really like it when she dressed differently. Just like the time she tried on lip gloss and he told her he didn't like it. It was something she both liked and disliked about him. On one hand it was nice to know that he liked her no matter what she looked like, because he wasn't interested in her looks. But it was that lack of interest that she hated. She was a young woman and she wanted the satisfaction of knowing when she gets dressed up, that her boyfriend both likes and appreciates it. But he wasn't the type of man for stuff like that.

"You ready to go?" Bernadette asked.

"Yeah, let's get this over with." Amy replied with a smile to mask her nerves.

The girls then got up from the bed they were sitting on and walked Amy across the hall. Penny walked in front and opened the door to the guys' apartment first, her gaze shifting immediately to Leonard's desk, and then to his chair, looking for the man she knew wasn't even there. Amy and Bernadette stood in the doorway as Penny stood frozen, staring at his chair, wondering why this kept on happening to her, when she _knew_ he wasn't around. In her trance, she hadn't even noticed the rest of the guys, all dressed up in their Star Trek gear, looking at her, wondering why she wasn't saying anything or walking into the apartment.

Bernadette gently pushed past Penny, knowing what was going on, she had been through this before. She gave Penny a warm look and squeezed her arm gently, before turning her attention back to the guys. "Alright Mr Spock, are you ready to meet your Lt Uhura?"

Sheldon looked on from his spot, a little intrigued. He was dressed in his blue Star Trek uniform, his eyebrows had been covered with make-up and replaced by ones that slanted sharply upwards, drawn on perfectly by Raj. His skin was covered to give it a slightly yellowish tint and he had fake, pointed up ears stuck on to the top of his real ones. The finishing touch was his hair. It had been scraped down from its usual side parting and covered with a lot of greasy gel, to give it the shiny effect. He looked pretty spot on and he knew it.

Penny moved out of the way, and sat down on the armrest of the sofa, beside Raj dressed in his Worf costume, while Bernadette stepped back and allowed Amy to walk through. She walked down the apartment, twirled and walked back up. Raj and Howard, dressed in his Borg outfit, immediately commented on how great she looked and Amy lapped up the compliments she wasn't used to receiving. She shifted her attention to Sheldon who was sitting there, simply looking at her. She couldn't read his expression, due to his costume, but at least he wasn't complaining.

"What do you think, Sheldon?" Bernadette asked.

Sheldon sat and looked at her, feeling his heart rate pick up just a little. It was a feeling he had very rarely felt, only slightly reminiscent of the feeling he got when she grazed her hand across his chest as she tied his tie that day before the party. It was unsettling. He wasn't completely sure why he was suddenly feeling this way but he was almost certain it had something to do with the fact that Amy and he had been, ever so slowly, becoming closer. Then he remembered the other time he had had this feeling; when he and Amy were in his room, on his bed, with those Dungeons and Dragons dice. That was the first time he had felt like he did now. That moment, when he looked into her eyes and said the words, 'I remove your armour', was when he felt his heart race like this, for the first time. He knew then why it was happening. He wasn't stupid and although 'love' was a feeling he wasn't entirely sure about, he knew what this feeling was related to. Not through experience, but from gut instinct. It was a basic, human urge, one that he often chastised others for feeling, and here he was now, feeling it in its early stages himself. Desire.

She was beautiful. It was the first time he had ever thought it about anything other than her mind and it wasn't because of the outfit she was wearing, that he noticed hugged her form perfectly, but it was in her eyes. Something was different about them, and it wasn't just the fact that they weren't framed like usual, and he was becoming a little entranced by them.

"Sheldon?" Amy asked becoming a little worried over his silence.

"Um…" He said before clearing his dry throat. "You look... nice." He said awkwardly and stood up, "Okay, I think we should leave now before we are late."

Everyone looked at Sheldon rather curiously as he got his fake stun gun that was on the kitchen table and packed it into his holster. "Come on then." Sheldon said to the two men that were still sitting on the sofa, looking at him with intrigue. He knew why they were looking at him like that. They saw his face in those moments when he was mesmerized by Amy, and he just knew it wasn't going to be the last he heard of it.

All the guys got up and began to fix their outfits one last time before heading towards the door to leave. Penny watched in silence from her spot on the sofa, finding herself glancing every so often in the direction of Leonard's room, each time expecting him to walk down the corridor, dressed in his Star Trek uniform to go with the rest of the guys. And each time he didn't appear, she felt that stab at her chest and stared towards the floor. She hadn't anticipated this feeling. She expected to miss him, but this feeling of expecting him to be there when she knew he wasn't was driving her crazy.

She stood up and took a few deep breaths as she tried to compose herself. She cleared her throat and walked with the rest of the guys to the front door. She heard mumbles of the group talking but she couldn't really focus on what they were actually saying, until she heard Bernadette's high pitched voice wish them a fun night, and she knew she should do the same.

"Bye guys." She just about managed, and then turned to Amy. "Hope you enjoy the movie Amy." She teased with a smile.

Amy rolled her eyes and huffed a little, "Yeah, I'm sure I will." She said as she followed the guys down the stairs.

Bernadette and Penny watched as the unique gang walked down the stairs and once they turned the corner, Bernadette turned her attention to Penny, who was now gazing into the open, empty apartment.

"Penny?" She said to get her attention. "How about we go to your place and have a few drinks?" She said when Penny turned to look at her. Bernadette knew what she was going through, she understood these feelings she was having, but Penny could be quite stubborn when it came to opening up about her feelings. She thought that the best time to attempt to get her to talk to her would be now, when it was just the two of them, and she was certain that a glass or two of wine would loosen her up enough to let all her feelings flow out. Bernadette knew she could help her through this, she just had to wait on her to let her.

Penny nodded and closed the guys' apartment door with a sigh, before heading back into her own, closing the door behind her.


	18. Love's A Bitch

**Okay so I know it may seem like I am getting back into my old habit of updating everyday, but that is not what is happening, honest! I was going to wait until tomorrow to update this but I wont have the chance to, and since I just couldn't find it in myself to leave people waiting two days for an update, I am updating it now. I'm too soft, I know. **

* * *

**Love's a Bitch**

Penny headed to her kitchen, grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine from on top of her fridge, before going to join Bernadette on her sofa. Penny poured two glasses, then picked one up and finished it in a few gulps. She then poured herself another and sat back into the seat, tucking her legs up at one side, then let out a sigh as she leant her head on her hand and began to gently rub her temples.

"Woah, slow down there!" Bernadette joked, but Penny simply gave her a half smile and took a sip of her full glass. Bernadette tilted her head, "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, her voice becoming more soothing, in an effort to comfort her, but Penny shook her head. "Come on," She urged. "It will help. I know what you are going through, you know. I've been through this too, remember." She said as she put a hand to her wrist with encouragement.

Penny still refused to speak, choosing instead to stare down at the dark red liquid in her hands. Bernadette took that moment to study her face. Her eyes looked heavy and there were dark circles underneath them. She could see the glint of tears forming in the corner of her eye and she looked as if she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Penny knew she was right, despite her silence. She knew she shouldn't keep all of her feelings inside, and knowing that Bernadette had been through what she was going through now, made her the best person to talk to right now. But she still hated it. The idea of putting her heart and soul out there was still something she was incredibly uncomfortable with. Leonard being the only one she had ever really let see her so vulnerable, and only barely.

Penny gave herself another quiet few moments as she thought of how to begin, before taking a deep breath, as she continued to stare down at the wine in her hands. "It's just so… _hard_." Penny croaked out before taking another slug of her wine and then looking down, refusing to make any eye contact.

"I know." Bernadette said with a nod.

"I just… I keep on thinking he is going to turn up… Like today when we were in their apartment, and yesterday when I was playing video games with the guys, I kept on thinking he was going to walk in the door or come out of his room." She shook her head slowly and then took another drink of her wine. This was helping a little; both the wine and talking to Bernadette. "I can't sleep properly. I keep waking up every few hours and…" Penny stopped as tears began to fall from her eyes. She sniffed and tried to blink them away, but it didn't work and they continued to fall.

"And I reach out, thinking he is going to be beside me and when he isn't I panic for a split second, because I think something has happened to him, and then I remember…" Penny looked down again and began to trace her finger over the rim of her glass. "It's _painful_… when I remember that he isn't here, and that he won't be again for a _long_ time... I get this ache," Penny pointed her fingers to her chest, "Right here. It _kills_." Penny shook her head, "And it is _so_ stupid."

Bernadette looked at Penny with confusion. She tried to make eye contact with her, but Penny refused to look up from her glass. "It isn't stupid Penny." She said as she gently squeezed her arm. "You miss him, its normal."

"This much? Already? No." Penny shook her head as she sobbed. "He has only been away a few _days_, and here I am, crying my eyes out, barely able to sleep, acting like he is never coming back, when he is." Penny let out a tearful sigh, "It's silly."

"No it's not." Bernadette said as she put her glass on the table and reached her hand out to touch Penny's. "Of course you are going to feel this way. You have barely spent a day without him since you got together. You have gotten used to him being beside you as you sleep and coming over to yours when he finishes work, so it's perfectly understandable that you would expect those things still to happen... It happened to me, when Howie left. It hurts, but that will pass… You love him Penny. Of course you are going to miss him. That doesn't make you silly, it makes you _normal_."

Penny looked up at her friend for the first time, as tears streamed down her face. She nodded slowly in acknowledgement of her friend's statement.

"Come here." Bernadette said softly as she gently pulled her friend's weeping head towards her. "I think you need a hug."

Penny smiled and relaxed into Bernadette's shoulder as she continued to sniffle through her tears. Both of them stayed quiet for a few minutes as Penny let the remainder of her tears fall and once her sobbing calmed she spoke again. "I… I just never thought I would get like this. I've always thought that I didn't need anyone, that I am fine on my own. You know, independent woman and all that crap. I never thought I would get to the point where I can barely even spend a few days without him without turning into a blubbering wreck."

Bernadette smiled as she gently rubbed her friend's shoulder. "That's what love does to you." She said.

Penny let out a tearful laugh. "Yeah, well, love's a bitch."

"Yup." Bernadette agreed and gently moved Penny from her shoulder. "Now come on, wipe away those tears. What do you want to do tonight? Watch a movie? Just sit and talk?"

Penny shook her head as she wiped the tears from her eyes. She didn't want to sit in tonight, she wanted the ache to go away, just for a little while and she knew there was really only one thing she could do to stop it. "No. I wanna go out."

* * *

Sheldon, Amy, Howard and Raj had just finished their meal at Big Boy, and were now on the way to the cinema. Amy had been slightly embarrassed at first at the idea of them all being dressed in Star Trek uniforms and going to public places, however she failed to anticipate just how many crazy fanatics this silly space movie had.

It was the opening weekend, so there were loads of people dressed in Star Trek gear all around. She had counted more than a dozen Spocks and countless people in the generic red, blue or yellow uniforms. As they walked to the cinema they noticed several Star Trek themed nights in restaurants and bars, all taking advantage of the phenomenon.

Amy began to feel at ease as she walked with the guys down the streets of Pasadena. It was a nice night and everything was in fair walking distance, so they chose to leave their car parked at the restaurant so they could show off their costumes to passers-by and for the first time the group didn't stick out like a sore thumb. They blended in with the crowd in a way that they never usually did. Amy walked with confidence as she took note of the glances thrown her way by unrecognisable people, and felt a sense of satisfaction when she noticed Sheldon spot these looks. She smiled when he frowned in the direction of whatever man had clocked her and moved so that he was beside her as they walked. He was getting jealous. She could see in it in his eyes and his body language, and she wondered if he knew that was what he was feeling too. Amy was so wrapped up in this unusual and unexpected turn of events, that she hadn't noticed how quiet the group had become since their dinner.

The good natured ribbing and the excited, nerdy chatter of before had gone. They talked, but quietly and only really commenting on either other people's costumes or about how inaccurate the Star Trek themed nights were in most of the bars. Sheldon noticed the difference the most.

He was glad to have Amy with him, but it wasn't the same. He spotted an inordinate amount of Captain Kirks walking the streets up to the cinema and couldn't help but think how much their own landing party needed theirs. He wondered if the other guys felt the same way, and guessed that they must be feeling something like what he was feeling, because the two of them were unusually quiet. Raj had barely even mentioned anything about the abundance of women dressed in their best Lt Uhura costumes. Although why would he, everyone else's attempt at depicting the character paled in comparison to Amy's, and that wasn't just his opinion. He could tell by the amount of stares his girlfriend was receiving that it was a sentiment shared by others, although he really wasn't happy that they were looking at her like that. She was his girlfriend, not theirs. He had moved so that he was walking right beside her and he had seen the happiness in her face when he had done it, but even that smile on her face wasn't enough to make him feel better. Not this time.

When they were all together like this, it made Leonard's absence abundantly clear, and every one of the guys felt it. They had only felt it slightly during the time when they were getting dressed up and didn't really take note of it as they ate, but now, as they were on their way to watch the movie they had been anticipating, something felt wrong.

However, they continued on their journey to the cinema and as they entered the huge building and stood in line beside the rest of the fans, they barely spoke. Amy tried to perk the group up by talking about the movie in the hopes they would get back to their original, excited state, but it didn't work. They simply answered her questions in a monotonous manner and then they were silent again.

Sheldon looked around the room as they stood in line and where normally he would have been excited about the Star Trek decoration, tonight it just made him feel dejected. He glanced down at the envelope in his hand that contained the four precious tickets and his stomach churned. These tickets were meant for the four of them, and although he was glad to have Amy's presence, he knew watching this movie wouldn't be the same without Leonard. Amy didn't get excited about it like he did, although he could tell she was trying her best to.

Later on, once the film was over, Amy wouldn't want to spend hours on end, going over every single detail about it with him, like Leonard would. Sure, he had the other guys to talk to about it, but it just wasn't the same. The fourth ticket in this envelope was intended for Leonard, and as much as he wanted to see this movie, it didn't feel right doing it when they weren't all together. He preferred to think that the reason for this was because he didn't like change. That the only reason he was even considering leaving the cinema, was because his OCD insisted that he couldn't see the movie without his usual group of friends, but deep down he just knew that wasn't true. He didn't want to see it, and then not be able to talk about it with Leonard, like he usually would, he wanted to see this film with him, not before him. And it wasn't because of his neurotic personality, it was because he missed his friend.

Sheldon cleared his throat to get the attention of the group, "I think I want to go home." He said sadly as he looked to the floor, and to his surprise, his statement wasn't met with anger or frustration. In fact, both Raj and Howard looked at each other and then nodded. They had felt it too.

"Yeah, this doesn't feel right without Leonard." Howard added.

"We should wait and see it all together when he gets back." Raj said and Sheldon and Howard nodded.

Amy was surprised to say the least. She had noticed the difference, but hadn't expected that they would decide not to bother seeing the movie at all. She had to admit she was a little angry. She had spent far too long getting all dressed up in this silly uniform and now it was going to all be for nothing, but she didn't stay angry for long. The sad looks on all the guys faces, especially Sheldon's, was enough to replace her anger with sympathy. They missed their friend, how could she be angry at them for that.

They stepped out of line and began to head to the exit, when Sheldon stopped. "Wait, what will we do with the tickets?"

Raj and Howard looked at each other for a second, waiting to see if the other had any ideas, and then Amy spoke up. "Maybe you should give them away?"

"But to whom?" Sheldon asked.

The group looked around the cinema and spotted a sad looking group, dressed in the red Star Trek uniforms and sitting dejectedly on the floor beside the door. Howard nodded for the group to follow him as he walked over to them.

"Hey, are you guys going to the movie?" He asked and one shook his head and one of the others burst into tears. Howard frowned for a second, he had no idea what had happened, and he didn't really want to know. Instead he just turned to take the tickets from Sheldon, who seemed to change his mind for a second and hold on, before shaking his head and releasing his grip on the envelope, and Howard handed them to the small group of three. "Here, these are for the showing in half an hour. Enjoy." He said as he handed them to the guys. They each looked at him with complete shock before pulling the tickets out of the envelope to make sure he wasn't messing with them.

"Are you serious?" One of the guys asked and each of the group nodded. "Thank you so much." He said and then the man that had been on the floor crying stood up and hugged each one of them, except Sheldon who refused such contact from a complete stranger, before they all got up and ran to the line.

The group exited the cinema and began to walk the streets back to Amy's car. "I can't believe you guys decided not to see the movie, especially after how excited you all got over it." Amy said to them, still quite shocked over what had just happened, and even more shocked that Sheldon of all people had been the first one to declare that he wanted to leave.

"Yeah, well, Raj is right, it wouldn't feel right to see it without Leonard. We really should all go to it together." Howard said.

"It does feel like a kind of a waste though. I mean, it took us ages to get looking this good!" Raj said with a chuckle as he pointed to his costume.

"Well, there are plenty of Star Trek themed nights in all the bars, do you want to go and make the most of the fact you can talk to women without being drunk?" Howard asked and Raj thought about it for a few seconds and then nodded.

"Yeah, definitely!" He said excitedly and then turned to Amy and Sheldon. "Do you two want to come?"

Amy instantly looked towards Sheldon who had his head tilted to the floor in the same way he had since they left the cinema. "No," She said softly, "I think I had better take him home."

With that, Howard and Raj said their goodbyes and headed off in the direction of the busiest bars and Amy turned to Sheldon. "How are you feeling?" She asked the downtrodden man.

"Okay." He said sadly with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Alright, well, you know if you ever want to talk, I'd be happy to listen." She said as she moved over and casually took a hold of his hand. It was such a simple gesture and yet every time she done it, without Sheldon immediately pulling back or complaining, she felt a huge surge of happiness course through her.

Sheldon accepted her hand and the comfort it brought with it, then looked over at her and for the first time, he actually considered telling her how he was feeling. He felt too many emotions running wild around his body and he needed to let some of them breathe. He wasn't going to tell her about how he had been evaluating his feelings of what could be love for her, and he wasn't going to tell her of that moment earlier on when she made his heart race with those dark eyes of hers, but he could tell her he was missing his friend. She probably already knew it anyway. He continued to walk, hand in hand with her, until they reached her car, sat inside and as Amy put her seatbelt on, Sheldon turned to her. "I miss him."

Amy clicked her seatbelt in and looked at his sorrowed face. Her heart melted at the sadness in his eyes and she reached her hand out to cover his again. She didn't speak in the hope that he would continue to open up, but he just turned back around and faced the front, without breaking their hands away.

Sheldon was unsure of what else to actually say. It was hard enough just to admit that he was even feeling that way and trying to put the rest of his feelings into understandable words was a task he just wasn't up to, so he let those words hang in the air, it was all that needed to be said really.

He missed him. He really did.


	19. Goodnight Penny

**A nice early update for you all since I am going to the beach to make the most of this wonderful weather that the UK and Ireland have been having, before it disappears for the rest of the summer! That's right, for the first time since last year, I have the shorts on! woop! Anyway, as ever hope you enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think :) **

* * *

**Goodnight Penny**

Penny stumbled up the stairs to her apartment. Her black heels had been removed and were in her hands, swinging beside her as she walked. She was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a dark red blouse under her leather jacket. She and Bernadette hadn't gotten dressed up to go out, choosing instead to stay casual and spend the night in a quiet bar, since Penny was in no mood to go dancing. All she had really wanted was a night away from the apartment, where she could spend some time drinking and joking with her friend.

They had chosen a bar that was within walking distance of the apartment, and although it had been a quiet evening at first, as soon as the girls downed their first round of tequila shots, the night became much livelier. The small bar began to slowly fill up and before they knew it the karaoke was on and the girls were up, singing and dancing to their favourite tunes, as most of the men and a few women in the bar cheered them on. It had been a cheap night too as plenty of men, hoping to get close to these two beautiful, lively blondes bought them their drinks, although each man left disappointed, getting nothing other than a thanks and a smile in return.

Once the bar closed, a little after 1am, the girls walked back to Penny's apartment building and then got Bernadette into a cab home. And now here she was, alone, trying her best to reach her apartment without falling up the stairs.

Her plan to get her mind off of Leonard had worked and for most of the night she didn't think of him, as the girls chatted away about everything and anything that had absolutely nothing to do with either Leonard or anything that would remind her of him. But now, as she slowly made her way up the stairs, stumbling as she walked the corridor from one set of stairs to the next, thoughts of him flooded her.

This was probably a bad idea. She had forgotten, when she had decided to go out, that she would inevitably be left alone, drunk, sad and tired. All she wanted now, was to go upstairs and climb in bed beside Leonard and have him wrap his arms around her, but he wasn't here.

She sighed as she reached her floor, and didn't even glance in the direction of her own apartment, keeping her eyes focused on apartment 4a instead. She turned the door knob, but it refused to open and she sighed again and hiccupped as she hit her head against the door. She growled as she turned and slid down the door to sit on the floor, and then remembered she had a key.

She wasn't even sure why she even wanted to go in there, she just knew she wanted to be as close to Leonard as possible and if she couldn't have him, she could at least be around his stuff. She could sit on his chair and sleep in his bed and she would get that warmth that she got whenever she was with him, or even spoke to him, at least she hoped she would.

She went into her apartment, threw her purse and shoes on her sofa and searched the bowl beside her door for Leonard's emergency key. It took her longer than usual with her blurred, spinning vision, but once she did she quickly headed out into the direction of his apartment and after fiddling with the lock for a while, she was in.

She shut the door behind her and then sat in the middle of the sofa. She hiccupped again as she looked around the slightly spinning room, seeing all his silly figurines and little imprints of him scattered around. And then she heard movement coming from down the hall and her heart swelled. It was him. He was coming out of his room to see her. He was going to look after this drunk, tired woman and hold her tightly while she slept.

But that wasn't true. And instead of a short, bespectacled man with a red robe and white socks, she saw a tall man with white and blue checker pyjamas, matching robe and a pair of slippers. She groaned. She had forgotten about Sheldon.

"Penny?" He asked with confusion as he turned on the light and rubbed his tired eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Penny shrugged and shook her head, as tears began to fill her eyes at the sheer disappointment of seeing Sheldon there. Why did it have to be Sheldon? Why couldn't it have been Leonard greeting her in the middle of the night?

Sheldon was puzzled. He could tell by her occasional hiccups and glazed over eyes that she was intoxicated, he just didn't understand why she had come here and not to her own apartment. Had she forgotten, in her drunken state, which apartment she stayed in? Probably not. The more likely reason was that she was searching for Leonard, even he could see that.

He noticed that she had that same sad look that he had seen in her as they had made their way back from the airport, except her sorrow was magnified by the tears that were rimming her eyes. His heart hurt for her, again. It was a horrible feeling, sympathy. Seeing someone in pain and having absolutely no way of helping them was something he really didn't care for. If Leonard were here, he would have known what to do. If Leonard were here he would have dealt with this drunken woman and he wouldn't have to.

But Leonard wasn't here and he had to deal with her, he just had no idea how to. Or did he? What was it his mother had told him? When a friend is drunk and upset, we offer them coffee. Sheldon nodded to himself, "Penny, would you like some coffee?" He felt quite proud of himself, ready to make Penny the drink that would make her feel better, but she shook her head. He looked at her and then around him, "Tea?" She shook her head again and he stared at her in slight confusion for a second, wondering what else he could give her and then let out a frustrated sigh. He was tired of trying to guess what it was that he could do for her to make her feel better and instead he decided just to ask. He sat down on his spot beside her, "Well, what _do_ you want?" he asked the girl sitting beside him.

Penny stayed quiet for a few seconds as she sniffled through her tears and thought of what it was she wanted. "I want Leonard." She quietly replied as she tilted her head to rest on his shoulder, forgetting about his usual hatred for such contact.

Sheldon stiffened slightly in shock. What did she think she was doing? What was it about women and their constant need to touch people? He wanted to move away from her, this kind of contact was something he shared with Amy only. Amy was the only one he _wanted_ to share this kind of contact with, but as he was about to move away and stand up, he heard her sniff away a few falling tears. He relaxed his shoulders a little and closed his eyes as his heart became heavy. He couldn't push her away, not when she was upset like this. "There, there." He said awkwardly as he shifted his weight a little, the extra weight on his shoulder proving to be quite uncomfortable, although that could just be because of the situation he was in.

"I miss him, Sheldon." She said quietly.

Sheldon nodded. He knew how that felt. "I miss him too." He said quietly and then stiffened up again. He hadn't meant to say that, not to her, not here and not now.

Penny lifted her head up to look at him with an eyebrow slightly raised. "What?" She asked quietly. Sheldon with feelings? Surely not. It had to be one of his attempts at sarcasm. "Is that a bazinga?"

Sheldon frowned and looked at her, "No." He said with a little disbelief. "What would give you that idea?" He shook his head. "My bazingas are hilarious..._That_ was definitely not" He stated.

Penny continued to stare at him with her face scrunched up in confusion, still trying to work out if he was messing with her because one thing was for sure, his bazingas were never hilarious. "You really miss him too?" She asked then hiccupped.

Sheldon huffed and slightly shook his head, "Yes" He said and then shifted his weight in discomfort. "Missing someone is defined as feeling regret, or sadness over the absence of a certain person, and, well, that defines how I feel."

"Oh _Sheldon_!" Penny squealed as a smile covered her face. "You _do_ have feelings! You're not a robot!"

He furrowed his brow, "Well of course I do." He said becoming more than a little annoyed. He was tired, he was irritated, and this conversation had already gone further than he would have liked it too, although he knew he didn't have too much to worry about, because come morning, if past experience was any indication, she wouldn't even remember what he had said. "And as much as it pains me to say, I am not, as of yet, a robot... I am, of course, human. And by design, and much to my displeasure, _feelings_ are something humans have to suffer through..." Sheldon looked at her, and saw that the happiness had gone from her face and been replaced with another familiar look of puzzlement. He looked into her glazed over eyes and wondered at that moment if she was even taking in what he was saying. He sighed and shook his head again, "Just because one doesn't show their feelings as openly as others, doesn't mean one doesn't feel them."

Penny tilted her head to the side slightly and continued to look at him in confusion for a few seconds, wondering why he had to make everything sound so mechanical and complicated, and then nodded a little as she took in his last statement. She knew that all too well.

Penny sat back in the sofa again as her head began to spin a little, and then she smiled. Sheldon missed Leonard too. For some reason that thought made her happy. It made her happy that Sheldon actually felt something, despite his uncaring outward appearance, and because it meant that she wasn't the only one who was feeling Leonard's absence so strongly. He had left a hole in Sheldon's life too.

She turned to him and saw him staring at his hands, looking a little deflated. She thought about giving him a hug, and had it been anyone other than Sheldon she would have, not only to comfort him but herself too. But this _was_ Sheldon, and she knew that her giving him a hug right now, would only bring out more discomfort in him. She knew if she tried to put her arms around him now, he would only pull away and tell her to get off. She was about to offer him some words of comfort instead, but tiredness took over, and all that came out of her mouth was a rather large yawn. "I should go to sleep." She mumbled, suddenly feeling more sober than she had all night.

Sheldon looked up and nodded. Finally, she was going home and he would get some peace to sleep. His duty to look after the drunk girl in his apartment was over. Penny stood up from the sofa and Sheldon stood up too, but instead of heading back to her apartment like Sheldon had hoped, Penny headed off down the corridor of his apartment. "Wha- Where are you going?" Sheldon asked in bemusement, but she didn't reply and he shook his head. That woman really did have the attention span of a toddler.

Penny headed straight to Leonard's room and smiled as she breathed in the scent of him that still lingered there. All thoughts of Sheldon and his feelings were gone and she was now solely focused on smothering herself with all things Leonard. She closed the door and opened his closet and began to gently sift through the clothes hanging there, weaving her fingers through his hoodies, jeans, suits and even his silly Star Trek uniforms. Then she headed to his drawers and looked through his t-shirts. She stopped when she reached one of her favourites, the green one with the recycle logo, and pulled it out. She took a deep sniff of the material before taking off her blouse and throwing it on the floor, replacing it with his t-shirt and then pulled off her jeans, feeling the cold air hit her legs. She shivered a little and headed back to his drawer. She opened the top one, pulled out a pair of his boxers and threw them on too, before stepping to his bed.

At that moment the door creaked open and instead of it being the man she wanted it to be, Sheldon stood there in the doorway, looking at her with confusion and annoyance. She stared up at him with an almost pleading look. She knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that she couldn't stay here because she didn't have Leonard's permission to sleep in his bed. He probably wanted to ask her to initial or sign some silly piece of paper linked to the roommate agreement, but she just wasn't in the mood, she just wanted to sleep. She looked at him from the bed, begging him with her eyes to just leave her be for the night.

Sheldon almost told her all the reasons that she wasn't allowed to stay in that bed, but once again he was allowing emotion to guide how he dealt with the situation. She missed Leonard, so she wanted to be surrounded by his stuff. It was odd to him that he even understood that reasoning, because logically it didn't make much sense. Being around his stuff wouldn't bring her any closer to him physically, yet he understood what she was doing and why she was doing it. So instead of giving her a lecture about how he couldn't let her sleep in his bed without Leonard's permission, unless she signed a waiver, removing any blame on his part if she done something wrong, like broke one of his collectibles, he simply gave her a small smile from the corner of his mouth and said, "Goodnight Penny." He turned off the light and closed the door behind him as he left her in peace and headed to his own room, glad that she was going to sleep and hoping that his own sleep wouldn't be disturbed again.

Penny smiled at the door, relieved that Sheldon had understood the look in her eyes, and then pulled the comforter right up to her chin. It did give her that warm feeling inside that she had hoped for, although not nearly as intense as it would have been had Leonard been there beside her. She clutched the gold heart around her neck that she had refused to take off since Leonard had given her it. She played with the heart, sliding it along the chain, before pulling it up past her chin and softly kissing the locket. She let out a sigh and whispered, "I miss you Leonard." Before snuggling under the covers, and slowly drifting off to sleep.


	20. The Dogs Bollocks

**Yes I know, odd chapter title, but it will make sense soon enough :)**

* * *

**The Dog's Bollocks**

Leonard's Sunday morning was fairly rough. It was a cold, wet, and windy day. The skies on the East coast of Scotland were not the same as the bright blue ones of Pasadena. Layer upon layer of dark grey clouds covered the blue sky, threatening to burst with raindrops imminently. It was unfortunate, because today was the day that they were leaving the safety of the dock, into the uncertainty of the deep Notrh sea.

Leonard was apprehensive about setting sail, especially on a day which looked to be about to become quite stormy, and the apprehension had caused his asthma to play up and his stomach to be almost constantly knotted. He took two of his Dramamine tablets, in an attempt to stop any motion sickness he may encounter and then a few puffs of his inhaler, to try and ease his breathing a little. He lay on his bed as he felt his heart thump against his chest and rasped through his breaths.

Paul, his roommate, seemed sympathetic to Leonard's situation and offered him help, but Leonard refused any, insisting that he was okay and that it would pass. There was nothing he could do for him really anyway, Leonard just had to try and stay calm and not let his nerves get the better of him, but that was easier said than done.

Outside, people were gathering on the deck to watch as the ship left land, the fact that those rain clouds were close to breaking open, didn't deter most of the passengers. Paul was about to head out with the crowd and asked Leonard if he wanted to join him. He hesitated for a moment, but reasoned that if his nerves got much worse, and in turn his asthma, then he would be better to be with the crowd, with people around to help, than to be on his own in his room.

He took up Paul's offer, and headed outside with a tight grip on his asthma inhaler. To his surprise he found that the fresh sea air helped calm him down a little. He drank in the cold air that soothed his lungs and smiled as he watched the land in front of him slowly drift further away.

It was a serene moment. The buzz of chatter amongst the people on board slowly disappeared and all that could be heard was the loud hum of the boats engine and waves crashing around them. Leonard figured that everyone was thinking the same thing. This was it, the beginning of the journey. Soon everyone would meet the group of people that they would be working with for the next four months, and begin their research and experiments. This was probably the highlight of most of their careers, it was certainly his. But everyone was also almost certainly thinking of everything they would be leaving behind. For these next few months, all each person on this boat would see are the ship itself, the people inside it, and the masses of water that surrounded it. The usual views of streets, buildings, wildlife, nature, and strangers going about their lives were gone, and, if today were any indication, blue skies and sun were also something that they wouldn't see very much of. They were all leaving behind their loved ones, to go and work for one of the greatest minds in the world, and that made for a very bittersweet moment.

The moment passed however as the view of land in the distance became smaller and smaller, and everyone headed back inside, to go about their business. Leonard headed back to his room, with Paul in tow, to do what he had put off doing for long enough, unpacking. Paul had already unpacked and put away most of his stuff and it made Leonard wonder if there was a reason he had put off doing his own until now. Some might say that subconsciously he had put it off because of what it symbolised. The stuff in that suitcase was stuff that belonged in his home, therefore this would become his home and his reluctance to unpack and give them a place, meant he was reluctant to accept this place as just that, home.

Some might also say that he was putting it off because of what he knew to be inside there, and the memories of everything he was leaving behind that unpacking them would bring with it. The figurines, the photographs, the comics, his green lantern costume. Each thing in that suitcase had a memory and a story behind it, and each one of those memories included the people that were now hundreds of miles away.

But then again, maybe he was just overthinking it, and the only real reason he hadn't unpacked yet, was simply because he couldn't be bothered. He was still a little jet lagged, and the bed he was sleeping in was definitely not the comfiest, so it made sense that the last thing he would want to do was unpack. But it had to be done, and it was better to do it now than continue to put it off.

Leonard let out a deep sigh as he sat on his bed and stared at the suitcase and mess of clothes that surrounded it.

"You finally gonna unpack it?" Paul said as he took a bottle of water from the fridge and nodded towards Leonard's case.

"Yeah, I really should." Leonard glumly replied.

"You want a hand?"

Leonard shook his head. "No, I should be alright, thanks anyway."

"Alright mate, just don't say I didn't ask." Paul replied with a chuckle and headed to the sofa and turned on the small television that had only a few working channels, and that was _before_ they had left land.

Leonard bent down on to the floor, opened his case up fully and began to pull out all the clothes and underwear he had packed, while Paul moaned in the background about how they were now down to only two channels, and how he couldn't understand why they would give them a television set in the first place if it didn't even work properly. Leonard chuckled along to his roommates complaints, mainly because he found his English accent quite funny, especially some of the somewhat odd words and phrases he used for certain situations. For example, the day before they had been having a conversation about other people on the ship and when Dr Watts' name came up, the stern looking bald man who worked alongside Dr Matthews, Paul said he had a 'face like a smacked arse', and seemed like him to be a complete 'tosser', which made Leonard chuckle for hours. It still made him chuckle as he thought about it now. He was beginning to understand Penny's love for the accent and promised himself he would learn some of these phrases well, just so he could repeat them to her, and make her laugh, if nothing else.

Leonard was almost done hanging up all his clothes in his wardrobe, while Paul still sat on the small sofa watching television. He was just about to hang up his Green Lantern costume when Paul turned off the television and turned to face him.

"What is that?" He asked with confusion as he stood up and began to rummage through the kitchen cupboards.

Leonard turned to him and blushed, "Um… A Green Lantern costume." He said with a shrug before hanging it up beside his suit.

"Oh… Okay." Paul said with a chuckle as he pulled out a packet of crisps from the cupboard.

Leonard smiled, glad that he didn't ask him any more questions about his outfit and began to take out his comics and figurines.

Paul walked over and joined him at his case, "Oh cool!" He exclaimed as he took a hold of his Superman comic book. "I used to love Superman when I was a kid."

Leonard chuckled and began to place his figures around his desk. He then walked back and pulled out his photographs, a few of which were framed. He picked up and stared at the one of him and Penny. It wasn't a very intimate photograph. In fact, they weren't even dating when it was taken. Penny had her arm around his neck, pulling him close to her as they both beamed with happiness. They were in his apartment, and he could remember it being taken well. Sheldon had just purchased a new camera and insisted on taking a few photographs to make sure the quality was as good as it had been claimed on the box, turned out it was.

Leonard smiled as he looked at the picture, both at the memory of it being taken and of the woman playfully holding on to him.

"Wow, she's fit." Paul said as he hovered beside him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Leonard turned, around smiled and nodded. "Yeah, she's gorgeous." He replied as he sat the frame on his desk.

Paul chuckled, "Oh, well, I guess that answers my next question."

Leonard looked at him, puzzled. "Huh?"

"I was going to ask who she was, hoping that maybe she was your sister and I could get you to set me up!" He chuckled and shrugged, "But I don't know many people that would describe their sister as 'gorgeous'."

Leonard smiled as he picked up the other framed picture, taken on the same day as the previous one, capturing the whole group in the photograph. "Oh. Well, you're right, she's not my sister. That's my girlfriend, Penny."

Paul nodded, "Gotta say, you are definitely punching above your weight with that one! No offense." He said with a mouthful of crisps. "To use the words of my late cockney grandfather, that girl is the mutt's nuts."

Leonard instantly frowned and looked over at his roommate that was now walking over to his bed. "She is what?"

"The mutt's nuts." He said as if it was obvious and Leonard just continued to stare at him in confusion. "You know, the dog's bollocks." Leonard continued to stare at him and Paul sighed and shook his head. "Sorry, I forgot you Yanks get confused with that phrase." He chuckled. "It means something is pretty fantastic, amazing… _Totally awesome dude_!" He said in a mock American accent. "You never heard it before?" He asked.

Leonard shook his head. "How can something that sounds as disgusting as 'dog's bollocks', be used to describe something that is amazing?" He asked with confusion.

"Dunno. Just does." Paul chuckled again as Leonard shook his head in disbelief. "So, do you miss her?" He asked nodding to the photograph on the desk. "I know I would if I had a girlfriend like that, who ended up being temporarily replaced by a posh English twat like me." He joked.

Leonard smiled and looked over at the picture. If truth be told, he hadn't really thought about it. He hadn't really thought about anyone back home, save for the times when he was talking to them on Skype or on the phone. He hadn't had the time really. His days had been filled to the brim with meeting new people and getting familiar with his new work surroundings. At night, he fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow after his hectic days.

He missed her a little now, though. Thinking about her, made him want to see her, to talk to her and touch her. His gut churned and he looked up at Paul, realizing that he hadn't answered him yet.

"A little." He said sadly with a little shrug. "I've been pretty busy, so you know… haven't really had the time to miss her, or anyone."

Paul nodded, he understood. He had been away from loved ones plenty of times along his career span, including girlfriends. He let the silence fill the air for a second and then said, "I still can't believe you've never heard of the dog's bollocks." He chuckled, in the hope that a little joking would ease the suddenly tense atmosphere.

Leonard looked up, chuckled a little with him and then something moved beneath him and his stomach fell. "Woah. What was that?"

"Just the ship moving, must be going over some waves or something." Paul shrugged, he had barely noticed anything. "You don't get seasick do you?" He asked as he noticed Leonard's pale, almost yellow face. Then, before he even answered, Leonard jumped off his bed, ran to the toilet and Paul winced as he heard him throw up. "I guess that's a yes." He mumbled.


	21. A Sweet and Caring Sheldon

**Just wanna take a wee moment before this chapter to say how shocked I am that this fic is doing so well. I always thought there would be a few that would enjoy it, but now I am almost at 150 reviews and almost 60 followers, when I am not even halfway through this story, is pretty damn fantastic. It's the dogs bollocks in fact :P I really never thought it would even be this long, I was certain by the time it got to chapter 20 I would be almost finished! Crazy how things work out. Anyway, thanks for all the positive reviews, follows, and favourites so far, and I hope I can continue to keep you guys happy with how this goes! :) **

**A Sweet and Caring Sheldon.**

Sheldon's eyes opened for what felt like the millionth time. It was now morning, but he had barely slept for more than a few hours. After his initial abrupt awakening, caused by Penny entering his home unannounced, he found it hard to fall back into a soothing sleep, especially when every so often he would hear her running out of Leonard's room, to the toilet where he heard more than he would care to hear of her being sick. That was definitely one of the downsides of having the room directly beside the bathroom.

He put on his noise cancellation headphones, but didn't leave them on for long, deciding it was best to be able to hear what was going on around him, just in case Penny's drunken state caused her to do something stupid, like slip and hit her head off the toilet seat. She _had_ done something similar in the past after all, and she wasn't even drunk that time.

Sheldon shook his head, worry; that was another emotion he hated feeling. For a moment he longed for the ignorant bliss of the old days, when he had no close friends, no girlfriend, just his mother and Meemaw, and he didn't have to feel these stupid emotions for anyone other than them.

Sheldon moved himself out of bed and put his slippers on before going to the bathroom. "Oh… yuck." He said with disgust when he noticed the few remnants of sick Penny had left around the toilet seat. There had been an obvious attempt to clean up the mess she had made, but a few drops still lingered, as well as the disgusting smell. He shook his head and huffed before going to the kitchen and grabbing his cleaning products and rubber gloves. He cleaned up the mess thoroughly before spraying air freshener in the bathroom and opening a window, and then, finally, he was able to go to the bathroom himself.

Sheldon made himself some breakfast then sat on his spot as he pondered what to do next. Should he check on her? Should he get her some breakfast? Should he just leave her be? He had no idea.

Sheldon sighed as he pondered his problem and then a little light went off in his head.

Amy.

She would know what to do. He nodded and headed to the computer to Skype her. He always preferred it to talking on the phone. He booted up his computer and quickly called her. After a few moments she picked up and he tried his best to ignore the fact that his heart skipped a beat as soon as her face filled his screen.

"Good morning Amy." He said with a small smile.

"Good morning Sheldon." Amy replied. She had only just gotten out of bed. Her hair was straggled around her and she still had the faintest amount of make-up around her eyes. Since she was not used to wearing so much of it, she failed massively at trying to get it all off before going to bed, and had decided she would try again in the morning.

She was surprised when she heard Sheldon calling her laptop, especially as it was only just after nine o'clock, and it was unlike him to call so early, especially when he hadn't even got out of his pyjamas, and most likely hadn't even showered.

"Not that I don't enjoy talking with you, Sheldon, but I find it unusual that you are calling so early. Is something wrong?" She asked with a hint of concern. Something had to be wrong.

Sheldon sighed. "Penny is here and I don't know what to do with her."

"What do you mean?" Amy asked with a frown. "Why is she there?"

Sheldon shrugged and shook his head. "She came to the apartment after, I'm assuming, a night at some bar with Bernadette. She was extremely intoxicated and insisted on sleeping in Leonard's bed." Sheldon sighed. "I am concerned, Amy." It was something he didn't want to admit, but somehow, after sharing a small amount of his feelings with her the previous evening and having no huge repercussions from it, he felt like he could indulge more with her. It gave him an unexplainable feeling of relief, knowing that what he was feeling was perfectly normal, and even that others felt the same way as him.

"She kept me up during the night as she was continually sick in the toilet," He continued. "And before she went to bed she seemed to be very upset. She wouldn't accept my offer of coffee or tea, insisting that all she wants is Leonard." Sheldon let out another sigh. "I don't know what to do." He said as he looked down at his hands.

Amy's heart squeezed. This was a side to Sheldon that was very rarely ever seen, and she wanted nothing more than to help him, and her friend. "I'll be right over." She said and they said their goodbyes.

Sheldon shut off his laptop and then headed for a shower, then waited patiently for Amy to arrive as he watched some Doctor Who. He had no idea what Amy was going to do with Penny, as he really couldn't think of anything they _could_ do. She wanted Leonard, and neither he nor Amy could give her that.

Amy arrived at Sheldon's apartment only an hour after he had called. She had taken a quick shower and had something to eat before coming over. She rushed to be by their side, both her boyfriend and her best friend needed her and she intended to do anything she had to, to help them.

She understood Sheldon's confusion over what to do with Penny, after all, not that long ago she had been the same as him. She would get confused over what to do in certain social situations and sometimes be completely oblivious to other people's emotions, but not anymore. Sure, she still had her moments of confusion but those moments had greatly lessened since she had met Penny and Bernadette. Those girls had taught her about life, about being part of a social circle, and it was time to use what they had taught her in order to make two of the most important people in her life feel better.

She knocked on his door and entered when Sheldon opened the door to her. He seemed a little downbeat, although she was used to that recently. But there was more to it this time. She could see his concern and worry in his eyes. He was at a complete loss, feeling totally helpless and she sympathised.

"How are you doing Sheldon?" She asked softly.

He shrugged and tilted his head away from her. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. Penny is in Leonard's room." He said in an attempt to get the subject off of himself. "What should we do with her?"

Amy walked over to the sofa and took her purse off and placed it on the seat as she sat down. "Nothing."

"Really? That's your advice? We do nothing?" Sheldon sighed and shook his head as he headed to sit beside Amy on his spot. "You could have told me that over the computer." Sheldon shook his head, "_Do nothing_."

Amy shook her head. "We do nothing for now. We can't go in and wake her up. We will leave her to sleep and then be here to comfort her when she wakes up and comes to sit with us."

Sheldon looked at Amy for a few seconds as he thought over what she had said and eventually nodded. "Alright."

The both of them then relaxed together on the sofa, Sheldon deciding that since they didn't go and see Star Trek yesterday, that they should watch the prequel to the new movie here right now. Amy wasn't exactly happy about it, but went along with it anyway.

Just as the credits were about to roll on the film, Sheldon and Amy heard some noises coming from down the hall. There were footsteps, some banging and a few womanly groans. Sheldon turned to Amy with wide eyes, and Amy sensed he was looking to her to tell him what to do when she entered the room.

"Just act normal, okay?" She said, "Well, not_ your_ kind of normal." She sighed, "Just… be nice."

Sheldon frowned and then nodded, before relaxing back in his seat and watching as the last of the credits rolled on the screen a few feet away from him.

Penny walked down the corridor with pain in her face and her blonde hair in a messy ponytail. She had thrown on one of Leonard's hoodies over the green recycle t-shirt and his boxers. The hoodie was zipped all the way up, and her fingers could barely be seen, peeking out of the oversized sleeve.

Sheldon turned to Amy and whispered as quietly as he could as Penny shuffled down to the kitchen. "Should we point out to her that she is wearing Leonard's clothes and not her own?"

"I think she knows Sheldon." Amy whispered back.

He looked at her with utter bemusement and then shook his head. "How can you expect me to act 'normal' with her, when she is throwing all sense of normality out of the window, by swanning around here, wearing clothes that not only don't belong to her, but aren't even made for her gender?" He whispered back.

"Just do it." Amy replied in a firm whisper.

Sheldon sighed and shook his head. "Fine." He looked up at Penny, who was in the kitchen, downing a bottle of water. "How did you sleep Penny?"

Penny looked at him for a second, like she was only just registering that he was even in the room. "Like a cat in a doghouse." She mumbled back.

Sheldon looked to Amy with a frown, and she widened her eyes and nodded towards Penny, telling him to continue talking to her. He wracked his brain, but all he could come up with was the same thing he had asked her the previous evening. "Do you want some tea?"

She shook her head as she headed over to Leonard's chair.

"Do you want some coffee?"

"I want some Leonard." She replied as she slumped down and curled up on the chair, clinging to the bottle of water in her hands.

"Well, unfortunately, I don't have any Leonard on me, so…" Sheldon tilted his head briefly and shrugged one shoulder. "Hot chocolate?"

Penny sighed, "Coffee is fine."

"But you just said you didn't-"

"Sheldon, go get her coffee." Amy said, interrupting Sheldon's whines. He sighed in frustration, and then headed to the kitchen.

Amy shuffled over to Sheldon's spot and tilted her head in Penny's direction. "How are you feeling bestie? Do you want to talk about it?" Penny shook her head slowly. "I promise I won't strap electrodes to your head again."

Penny let out a slight chuckle and looked over at Amy. "No, really Amy, I'm fine. I'm just… a little hungover, that's all." Penny took another sip of her water, "So how was the movie?"

Amy spotted Sheldon shoot a scared look over to her. He was worried that she would bring up the fact that he, of all people, had decided not to go and see that movie, based solely on the fact that Leonard's absence made the experience odd. "We decided not to go." Amy said and saw Sheldon relax at the fact she had said 'we' and didn't put the focus on him.

Penny sat up and frowned. "Why?" She asked and then looked at Sheldon. "I bet you weren't too happy about that."

Sheldon opened his mouth to speak, but Amy interrupted him. "It was a collective decision. The guys felt that it would be more appropriate to wait, and see the film with the whole group, and I was happy not to have to sit through endless space fights."

Penny gave her a knowing nod and a slight smile. "So what have you two been doing?"

"We watched Star Trek." Amy grumbled.

Penny's grin widened and giggled at her friend's obvious displeasure at being forced to sit through it, she knew the feeling, she had been forced to sit through more than her fair share of Leonard's sci-fi movies over the years.

"Alright," Sheldon said as he made his way over to the girls with two steaming cups in hand. "I have one coffee for Penny, and one lemon zinger tea for Amy."

"Thank you." The girls said in unison as they took their cups from Sheldon's hands. He then left the girls and headed to his room, with a small grin on his face. The girls both looked at each other with slight confusion over that little smile, but dismissed it with a shrug.

"He was worried about you, you know." Amy said as she nodded in the direction that Sheldon had walked in. "He didn't like seeing you upset."

"Really?" She said and Amy nodded. "Aww." She cooed. "That is so cute."

Amy smiled. He really was. "Are you sure you are okay?" She asked with the utmost concern.

"I'm sure sweetie. I'm just still trying to get used to it." She said, knowing that she didn't need to specify further on what 'it' was. "It's hard, but I'll be alright... Especially since I have you guys taking care of me." She said with a smile.

Amy returned that smile, and the girls sat and casually chatted for a little while, until Sheldon re-entered the room. "Penny." He began and she turned to face him. He was looking down at her, with his hands clasped behind his back. "You know me to be a very tolerant and understanding man," He began, ignoring the look of puzzlement that Penny threw Amy's way, "But I have to say I am uncomfortable, with not only the fact that you have decided to ignore all rules regarding clothing and showering, but with how obviously upset you are. I can see that coffee on its own won't be enough to help you feel better, and while I was in the kitchen preparing your beverage, it occurred to me that the only thing that will make you feel better right now, is Leonard." Sheldon looked at his feet, as Penny looked down at her cup at the mention of him. "But he isn't here-"

"Yes Sheldon, I know that." Penny said sadly.

"Let me finish." Sheldon said with a stern look. "It _then_ occurred to me that, although I may not be able to provide you with Leonard in the _physical_ sense, I am quite able to provide a means of communication."

"Sheldon, what are you saying?"

"I called him. I spoke to him while I was in my room, and explained the situation, so he is well aware that you stayed in his room last night and that you are now sitting around in his clothes and underwear. Something that I still find incredibly confusing and disconcerting... It's weird." He said raising his eyebrows briefly.

Penny's frown began to change into a smile. It was odd to her that she was getting so excited over talking to him, when she had only spoken to him the day before. They had had a conversation only 24 hours ago, but it felt like so long ago. "Where is he?" She asked as she sat up.

Sheldon brought his hand around from behind his back and handed her his cell phone. Penny beamed as she looked at it, then up at Sheldon, before leaping off the chair to wrap her arms around him. Sheldon tensed up immediately and stood frozen as she squeezed him tight. "Alright, that's enough." He said and she pulled away, quickly kissed him on the cheek and grabbed the phone from his hands, then ran with it to Leonard's bedroom.

"You're welcome!" He shouted sarcastically down to her and then shook his head, before looking at Amy, smiling up at him from his spot. "What?" He asked and when she simply continued to look at him with that smile, he turned to the kitchen to grab his antibacterial wipes, to rid himself of the germs the Nebraskan had left on his cheek. He wasn't taking any chances, she had given him the flu twice in the past, he didn't want to run the risk of getting it from her again. He turned to Amy when he was finished, and she was still staring at him with that goofy smile. What did she want from him? An explanation maybe? "She was upset okay?" He said as he put the wipes into the trash and walked over to his spot. "I don't like it when people are upset."

Amy continued to grin as she shifted over to let Sheldon sit down. She felt so proud of him. She had always known that he cared for the people around him, and she loved moments like these when she got to see that caring side shine through. It wasn't very often that it happened, but because it was so rare, when it happened it elicited such joy from everyone around him, as evidenced by Penny's excited reaction, and her own goofy, unrelenting smile. He was always so timid with his emotions, never wanting to make a big deal over them when they surfaced. He simply shrugged and tried to get about his life as usual, like he was now, as he flicked through the television channels.

Amy shuffled as close to him as possible and leant into him ever so slightly as they watched whatever sci-fi movie he had put on next. She loved it when he was like this. Calm, and modest. Sweet and caring. Yes, these moments were definitely rare, but they were becoming ever more familiar.

* * *

Penny lay on Leonard's bed, staring at the ceiling after their conversation was over. It hadn't lasted very long. He was beginning to experience some of his motion sickness and had to reluctantly leave the conversation to throw up in the toilet. It hurt her that she couldn't be there with him when she knew he was suffering. She wanted to be there, to rub his back and hand him some water, just like she had after the 'It's a Small World' ride at Disneyland.

She sighed and rolled over so her face was in the pillow. She thought over every moment of their brief, yet precious conversation. He had told her that he had finally unpacked all of his stuff, and she told him about Sheldon and the guys deciding to wait until he was back to go and see Star Trek. He told her about the most recent English phrase that had been added to his list of 'weird things Paul says', and she told him about her night out with Bernadette. She told him she missed him. She told him he wasn't getting his t-shirt, hoodie and possibly his boxers back. He told her he didn't care, she could keep them. She told him she loved him, and he repeated it back to her. He promised to call again tomorrow, when, hopefully, he was feeling better, and Penny smiled and told him she was already looking forward to it. Then they said goodbye, repeated their 'I love you' and then it was over. Her daily dose of the man she loved lasted a brief half an hour.

It was painful, but it was better than nothing. She crawled under the covers and pulled her arms up to her nose so she was covered with his scent, and repeated that statement to herself as she dozed back off to sleep.

_It was better than nothing._


	22. I-Spy

**I-Spy**

Penny grumbled as she turned around in her bed to shut off the alarm that was buzzing on her nightstand. She barely even opened her eyes as she turned it off and then went to fall straight back asleep, until she remembered why it was going off in the first place.

It was Tuesday. And Tuesday meant that the day had come for her to take Sheldon to work. She groaned at the mere thought of it, wondering what fun filled car games he would have in store for her this time; maybe a periodic table sing-a-long or a Doctor Who themed pop quiz. Neither sounded like anything she would want to have a part of, although she could take solace in one thing at least; he would have no complaints about that check engine light. She had gotten her car back from the mechanic the day before, with the engine humming perfectly. Whatever it was that caused that little red light to flash on, was now gone, although it had cost her more than a few bucks for that pleasure, so Mr Whack-a-doodle had better appreciate it.

Penny reluctantly got up and headed to the bathroom to wash up and just as she was taking off Leonard's t-shirt, the same one she had stolen from his apartment only two days ago, she heard those three sequenced knocks on her door.

"Just a minute Sheldon!" She shouted as she quickly put on a bra and one of her own tops, then rummaged for a pair of jeans and threw them on too, but before she even got a chance to zip them up and button them, she heard those three knocks again. "I'm coming!" She barked as she ran out to her door.

"Good morning, Penny." Sheldon said as she opened her door.

"Yeah, hi. Hold on I just have to find a pair of shoes." She said as she left the door open, inviting him in to wait, as she headed back into her bedroom.

"Alright, just make sure they are _suitable_ driving shoes." Sheldon said as he entered her apartment and closed the door behind him. He heard her say something from her room but it was muffled, although he was certain he heard a few curses in there.

Penny walked out of her room and Sheldon's gaze went instantly to her feet. He saw she was wearing a pair of thin strappy sandals and he shook his head. "Um, no, those aren't suitable."

"Bite me." Penny replied as she searched for her purse and car keys.

"No thank you." He said as Penny rolled her eyes and shook her head. She then began to head towards the door to leave, but Sheldon stood in his spot, looking at her with a frown. "Penny, your shoes."

Penny stopped on her route out of the door and stared ahead of her. Her first instinct was to turn around and tell him to stop being a baby and move his butt out the door, but she knew that would only end in an argument that would last the whole car ride to the university. Instead, she remembered what Leonard had told her he does when he feels himself becoming irritated by Sheldon's 'quirks', and simply counted to ten in her head, before taking a deep breath and turning around. "Fine Sheldon, I'll change them." She said through gritted teeth, screaming at him with her eyes that she was _not_ happy.

Penny headed into her room and kicked off her cute sandals and replaced them with her grey converse, "Happy now?" She asked and he nodded his head after looking down at her feet. "Alright then, let's get this over with." She said as she headed towards the door.

"Wait." Sheldon said and Penny turned around.

"What is it now Sheldon?" She pleaded.

"Your coffee." He said as he handed her a silver flask, something she hadn't even noticed he had in his hand.

Penny smiled and for a moment, all anger towards him was gone. "Thank you sweetie." She said as she took the flask from him and immediately took a sip.

"You're welcome." He said as he followed her out of her apartment. "Although you should note I am not giving you that out of the goodness of my heart. It was specified in the amended schedule as the terms for you taking me to work, therefore I was forced to adhere to it. I can only hope you have done the same regarding that check engine light?"

"I have. I picked the car up from the mechanic yesterday with its insides all fixed up." She said with a grin.

"Good. Now, I have some great ideas of things we could play in the car to pass the time." He began and Penny rolled her eyes. "Amy and I have been playing counterfactuals on our commute, but you are nowhere near intellectually gifted enough to be able to play that game well, so I was thinking something like 'I-spy' would be a little more suited to you, or 'red car, blue car'."

Penny shook her head at the obvious insult to her intelligence. "I'd prefer 'I-spy'."

"Good choice. I have always found 'red car, blue car' extremely tedious, even for a children's game. I mean, it's nothing more than counting. At least with 'I-spy' there is a certain amount of challenge involved."

"Uh, huh. That's why I chose it. Duh." She replied as she opened the apartment building doors and headed out into the car park.

"Alright, since I am the oldest, I will start." Sheldon said as he entered the small red car and put his seatbelt on. "I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with…" Sheldon stopped and studied his surroundings, as Penny started the car and began to move out on to the road. "W."

"Okay." Penny said as she glanced around whilst trying to keep her eyes on the road. "Water?" She said as she nodded to the bottle on the floor at Sheldon's feet.

"No." He said as he looked down and avoided touching the half empty bottle with his foot. "But maybe you should try cleaning your car once in a while."

Penny gave him a quick glare and then continued guessing things beginning with 'w'; woman, watch, wall, wood and many more, but was told she was wrong every time. She began to become quite competitive, simply because it was irritating her that she couldn't even beat him at a children's game. She asked for a clue, and Sheldon told her that this thing existed both inside and outside the car, which only succeeded in making her more confused.

The game made the ride to the University much quicker than it usually would have been, and Penny even found herself quite disappointed when she arrived. She was determined to guess whatever it was that he was thinking and as she sat in her car, parked at the University, forcing Sheldon to wait with her while she figured this out, she got it. Well at least she thought she had.

"Window!" She said as she excitedly pointed to it.

"No." Sheldon replied.

"Aw damn!" She moaned as she thumped back in her seat. "Fine. I give up, what was it?"

"Windscreen." He said as he opened the door.

"What the hell!" Penny replied. "That's what I just said!"

"No. You said window. I said windscreen."

"But they are exactly the same!"

"No they are not. These," He said pointing to the passenger seat windows, "are windows. That," He pointed to the front window of the car. "Is the windscreen. I win. Goodbye."

Penny shook her head, "Bye Sheldon."

Penny let out a sigh once Sheldon was gone and relaxed against her seat, wondering what she was going to do now. She had the whole day to herself and it had only just gone eight o'clock. She had nothing planned for the day, no work, no school, and no friends, since all of them were working. There was only one thing she could, and really wanted to do.

"Screw it." She mumbled to herself. "I'm going back to bed."

* * *

Amy and Bernadette made their way up to Penny's apartment at around 9 o'clock. They had decided yesterday, to take the day off work today and take Penny out shopping. The girls had discussed how they were concerned for their friend after the events of her first weekend without Leonard. Bernadette had told Amy about Penny's outburst of emotion after she and the boys had left to go and see Star Trek, and Amy, in turn explained how Penny had slept in Leonard's bed, wearing his clothes, that Saturday night and had spent much of Sunday either in bed, or sitting in glum silence, watching television with her and Sheldon.

They had decided then, that they wanted to cheer her up with a girly day shopping and maybe some lunch and a few cocktails. Amy was quite possibly more excited about the idea than Penny probably would be, already telling Bernadette what stores she thought they should visit, and where they should go for lunch.

It had taken nerves of steel from Amy in order to actually play hooky from work for the second time, however she managed it with a fake cough and a white lie, telling her boss she thought she was coming down with another bout of flu.

"I can't believe how easy it is to fake being sick." Amy said as she turned up the stairs to the fourth floor. "I think next time, I'm going to go for something a little more serious and get more than one day off… Maybe I could tell them I contracted malaria."

"I think that is a little far-fetched Amy, you are supposed to keep it believable." Bernadette replied.

"Oh but it is believable. Are you forgetting that I am engaged to the Saudi prince Faisal that funds my lab? I could just say I contracted it when I was out visiting him."

"Yes, but you would need the time off to visit him first, in order for them to believe you actually went to Saudi Arabia."

Amy thought for a few seconds, "Great, that is two new excuses for our next girls' adventure!"

Bernadette giggled. "We are going shopping Amy, it's hardly an adventure." She replied with a smile as she knocked on Penny's door.

Amy shrugged and looked towards Penny's door. "I sure hope this helps her." Amy said as they waited on her answering. "I haven't seen her this sad since Leonard started dating Priya, and that is saying something. Her brainwaves from that experience made my monkeys cry like _that._" She said with a click of her fingers.

"She's just finding it hard to adjust without him around." Bernadette said. "It must be incredibly hard since she lives right next door to him and still has to face Sheldon almost every day, when usually Leonard would be there too."

"They did spend and awful lot of time together." Amy said with a nod as they continued to wait on Penny answering the door. "I suppose right now she is going through what you might call, the withdrawals, of not having him around."

"Exactly. Like an addiction. She was given a dose of Leonard every day and now she is finding it hard to cope without it."

"You know, when we began to wean my monkeys off their addiction to cigarettes, we replaced their regular ones with artificial ones. They gave them the nicotine and even lit up and produced pretend smoke, but they saw right through it." Amy shook her head. "I got so much faeces thrown at me that day."

Bernadette frowned at Amy for a second then shook her head a little, before knocking on Penny's door again. "Amy we are not going to find Penny an artificial Leonard."

"That's not what I was saying!" Amy defended. "I was just continuing the conversation with a little anecdote... Although maybe I could offer her use of Gerard."

"Who?"

"My toothbrush."

"Oh." Bernadette said and then a few seconds later she realized what she had meant, "Ew Amy!"

"What?" Amy said holding her hands up a little with innocence. "He recently got upgraded. He now offers triple action deep cleaning. Best purchase _of my life_!" Amy said with a laugh.

Bernadette couldn't help but smile despite the acute awkwardness of what Amy was saying. "Anyway, she doesn't need your toothbrush, she has her chew toy remember?" She said raising an eyebrow and Amy frowned in confusion. Bernadette shook her head and giggled, "Nevermind." And then knocked Penny's door again. "What is taking her so long?"

"Maybe she isn't home..." Amy said, "And I don't understand your chew toy reference, please elaborate."

"It's before eleven, I would be surprised if she was anywhere other than her bed." Bernadette replied then smiled. "And I will keep the chew toy explanation for another time."

Then, just as Bernadette was going to pull out her cell to call Penny, and Amy was going to question Bernadette further, the door opened and an unhappy Penny stood before them. Her hair was in full bed head effect, her eyes were sleepy and she was once again, wearing Leonard's t-shirt.

"Told you she would have been in bed." Bernadette mumbled to Amy before turning to Penny and breaking out in a smile. "Hey! We are here to kidnap you for a girls day out!"

"And just like the last time, we use the word kidnap playfully." Amy added.

"Ugh, girls, I appre-" Penny began.

"Stop." Bernadette said as she put a hand out and forced her way into Penny's apartment, closely followed by Amy. "Amy and I have taken the day off work to do this with you, so whether you like it or not, you are coming with us."

"Now go get changed while we wait here and Bernadette explains to me why on earth you have a chew toy, when we all know you don't have any pets." Amy said, pointing ion the direction of Penny's bedroom.

Penny's eyes widened with shock as Bernadette tried to stifle her laughter. "What?!" Penny exclaimed as her face flushed. She honestly thought she had gotten Sheldon out of the room in time for no one to hear what he had said.

"Just go." Bernadette said with a laugh, shooing Penny off in the direction of her bedroom.

Penny reluctantly headed into her room, throwing questioning glances in the direction of her friends, before closing her door and getting dressed for the second time that day.

Bernadette and Amy sat on the couch for a few minutes until Amy once again addressed her confusion over their previous discussion. "Okay so, are you going to tell me what this chew toy is?"

Bernadette let a mischievous grin cover her face, "It's just like your toothbrush." She said, "Only _a lot_ more realistic."


	23. A Bad Combination

**A Bad Combination**

As soon as Penny had gotten out of Leonard's t-shirt and into a pair of jeans and a top, complete with the sandals she had wanted to wear earlier, the girls headed off to the mall. It had been a while since they had all been shopping together and if there was one thing Penny really needed right now it was some retail therapy.

The girls were buzzing with enthusiastic chatter as they entered store after store, trying on outfits and spending more money than they really should on all sorts of clothes, shoes, bags and accessories. Penny spent most of that time with a grin on her face, enjoying being in the company of her weird and wonderful girls; happy that once again these girls had given her the distraction she needed to keep her mind away from missing Leonard.

She laughed as she and Bernadette picked out various outfits for Amy to try on for future dates with the great Sheldon Cooper, since Bernadette insisted that she had seen a glint in his eye when she was in that Lt Uhura costume, and claimed that Howard had seen it too. Amy refused to believe it though, maintaining that Sheldon's only interest was with her mind and not her body, despite how much she would like what they had said to be true.

Nevertheless, she had to admit that she looked good in some of the outfits, and couldn't resist buying a few new tops and skirts, ones that were much less 'Forever 63', as Penny liked to put it. Even if Sheldon didn't appreciate it, at least maybe some other men would, and unleash the jealous man that hid underneath that ego.

After a few hours of browsing the stores, they decided to go to the nearest trendy cocktail bar for some food and alcoholic refreshments; an idea that had come from Amy, determined to make the most of not being at work when she should be. She relished in the fact that she finally had a couple of girlfriends to hang around malls and go drinking with, something she had missed out on throughout her high school and college years. Amy picked which bar they would go to and Penny and Bernadette happily followed behind, glad to be her source of such elation.

When they arrived, they picked their seats and placed their collection of shopping bags beside them, each girl letting out a happy sigh as they finally sat down and got the weight off their aching feet for a while.

"This is so much fun girls, thank you for doing this." Penny said as she reached out for the menu. "Although I have to say, it looks like I'm gonna have to pick up every single shift I can at The Cheesecake Factory if I want to pay my rent this month." She joked as she looked down at her bags.

The girls shared a laugh before focusing on their menus again, picking out what they wanted to eat and deciding to start their lunch off with a Strawberry Daiquiri cocktail.

As they ate, they talked over the usual topics; how good their food and drink was, work, school, the bitches that came with both of them, and boyfriends, or husband in Bernadette's case. It wasn't long before their first cocktail was gone and Amy immediately decided they should order another.

"Oooh! I think I will have the lime mojito this time!" Amy said with a slight slur, already feeling the effects of her first drink. "Mojiitooo. Mojitooo. That is such a fun word. Mojjiitooo."

Penny and Bernadette giggled at their tipsy friend as they considered what drink to get next. "I think I'll go for…" Bernadette studied the menu for a second, before deciding, "A Tequila Sunrise!"

"Ooh good choice." Penny said before studying the menu herself. "I think I'm gonna have… a Sex on the Beach."

"Oohh. I've never had one of those before." Bernadette said as she took the menu and read over the ingredients of the drink.

"You've never had the cocktail?" Amy asked, "Or the public, sand filled, coital encounter?" She raised an eyebrow.

Penny and Bernadette broke into shocked laughs as Bernadette answered, "The cocktail!"

"Oh, so you _have_ had the coital encounter then?" Amy added with a wink.

"NO!"

"Really?" Penny asked with a slight tilt of the head. "Never?"

"_You_ have?" Bernadette asked.

"Well, yeah." Penny answered with a shrug.

"But she won't be having it again for a while!" Amy chipped in before downing the last drops of her Strawberry Daiquiri.

"That's true," Penny said with a nod and slight chuckle, "Unfortunately."

"Unless you take your… you know… _aid_ down to the beach with you." Amy said with a mischievous grin.

"My what?"

"You know…" Amy said a little quieter, widening her eyes as if that should tell her all she needs to know. "Your cop hop e wop, top o yop." She winked.

Penny frowned. "Huh?"

"Your cop hop e wop top o yop!"

"Uh, yeah, I still don't understand."

"Come on I taught you this! Remember?" Amy said and Penny continued with her same look of confusion. "When you stayed at my place for those few nights?" Penny stared at her blankly. "I taught you how to speak Op?"

"Oh yeah… okay, yeah, I remember." Penny nodded and laughed at the memory, "Let me see if I can get this right." She thought something over for a few seconds then said, "To speak 'op', you have to add 'op' to all consonants in the word?" She asked with a frown, unsure if she was right.

"That's right! So Penny becomes…?" Amy encouraged.

Penny stayed quiet for a few seconds and then said, "Pop e nop nop yop?"

Amy grinned and nodded. "That's it!"

Penny grinned, feeling quite proud of herself, before suddenly remembering what they were talking about before. "Okay, so, wait a minute, why are you using 'op' now? What were you trying to say before?"

"I was using it for the discretion required for what we were discussing. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't like those men sitting at the table behind us to know that you once purchased your very own Gerard!"

Penny let out a short, shocked laugh, as everything suddenly clicked. "Amy!"

"Does yours have a name?" Amy asked, ignoring Penny's obvious discomfort at the subject.

"No, he doesn't." Penny said, unable to contain a small grin. "And_ I_ didn't buy him. One of the girls I work with got me it for my birthday a few years ago as a joke after I had told them I hadn't had sex in a few months."

The conversation was temporarily halted as a waiter came over and cleared their plates and glasses, before taking the girls' next order of cocktails.

"So, can we change the subject now please? Before that group of guys actually _does_ overhear what you are saying!" Penny asked with a chuckle and the girls nodded.

"O kop a yop!" Amy replied.

"Hold on Amy." Bernadette said, "When did you decide to make up your own language? And why?"

Amy spent the next few minutes going over the origins of Op, then the girls then spent the time as they waited on their second round of drinks coming, trying their best to say things to each other using it, and breaking out in fits of laughter every so often as they tried, in their slightly tipsy state, to get the hang of using it properly.

Their second round was finished a lot quicker than the first one had been, and before they knew it they were ordering their third.

Amy decided it would be a great idea to order in Op, and puzzled the poor waiter with her order of 'Bop lop oo dop yop, Mop a rop yop'. The girls laughed at the waiter's expense and once they had caught their breath, Penny informed him that she had meant to say a 'Bloody Mary', and he happily left the table.

"So, have you put your cop hop e wop top o yop to good use yet?" Bernadette asked Penny once the waiter was out of earshot. "You know since Leonard isn't here to fulfil your needs?" She grinned.

Penny looked at her with shock as her cheeks flushed red. "No!" She said with an embarrassed chuckle. "He hasn't even been gone a week! How horny do you think I am?!" She said before noticing her friends' stares, "Never mind, don't answer that!"

"I give it another couple of weeks and I bet you will be rummaging through your closet for that thing!" Bernadette giggled.

"If that!" Amy added. "If we are to believe what Sheldon deduced of the approximate amount of sexual encounters our beautiful blonde friend has had over the years, as well as the fact that he told me Leonard would stay at your place almost every night, I would suspect you will be reaching for your little friend _pretty_ soon!"

"Oh come on! Sheldon's idea of how many people I have slept with is _way_ off…" Penny grinned and shook her head, "And my 'little friend' is _not_ little."

"Oh, unlike little Leonard then!" Amy joked and Bernadette giggled.

"Hey!" Penny said becoming slightly defensive, "Leonard might be small in height, but he is _more_ than-"

Penny stopped speaking as their third round of drinks was brought over. Each girl thanked the waiter and once he had left, Amy and Bernadette looked to Penny to finish her sentence. "Let's just say he has nothing to be ashamed of!" Penny said with a sly grin and a raised eyebrow. "And anyway, just because Leonard stayed with me a lot, doesn't mean we had sex each night that he did! We aren't animals!" Penny grinned again and took a sip of her Cosmopolitan, "Mmm, this is so good!" She said before taking another sip and letting out a sigh. "To be honest I haven't even thought about reaching for _him_ yet… sex has been the last thing on my mind recently." Penny then began to stir her drink with the little umbrella that accompanied it, as a sad expression took over her face.

"Well, it won't be long before it is." Bernadette said as she took a sip of her drink, feeling the need to instantly perk her back up with humour. "_Trust me_!"

The group burst out into laughter again, as Penny's sombre moment passed. They continued to drink and chat, a little louder than they had been before, and before they knew it their third drink was gone and they were all a little giddy.

"So should we head back out to the stores?" Bernadette asked.

"Ohh, shopping while slightly drunk. That is a _bad_ combination." Penny said shaking her head, "But yeah, let's go!"

The girls paid for their lunch, leaving a healthy tip for the poor waiter that had to deal with them, and then grabbed their bags, before stumbling out of the bar.


	24. Bert and Ernie

**Bert and Ernie**

Leonard sat outside the nurse's office with a churning in his stomach and a headache that just wouldn't subside. His motion sickness was still quite severe, so much that he was told by the senior physicist on his team, Dr Lloyd Patterson, that he wouldn't be allowed near any of the high powered machinery until it was gone, through fear that he would hurt himself or someone else. Leonard was disappointed, but he understood. He could barely walk in a straight line without feeling like he was going to faint or vomit, so it was no surprise that Dr Patterson didn't want him to operate any machinery, especially when those machines were high powered lasers.

So he came here, in the hope that the nurse could either give him something stronger than Dramamine for the motion sickness, or give him an idea of how to get over it.

He wasn't the only one who was suffering from this particular side effect of being at sea. As he had been waiting he had seen various people with sickly pale skin and tired looking features leave the nurse's office and Leonard presumed they had the same illness as he, because they looked exactly like he did. He had to admit, it made him feel a little better about the whole situation. It was nice to know, for once, he wasn't the only one suffering.

He became inpatient as he sat there, wanting nothing more than to get back to his lab with the rest of the physicists and do the work he was sent here to do. He glanced around the small corridor, and looked at the various posters and healthcare leaflets that had been stuck to the wall to try and pass the time. He then picked up a magazine that was on the table in front of him and began to read through it, until the process made his stomach churn and his head woozy. He felt himself almost vomit right there, but managed to stop it, before putting the magazine back down, closing his eyes and resting his head against the wall behind him.

"You have motion sickness too then I guess?" A quiet voice said.

Leonard opened his eyes and looked at the dark haired woman that was sitting on the chair beside him, with skin as sickly pale as his.

"Yeah." He said quietly in return, almost afraid that if he opened his mouth too much, he wouldn't be able to stop the vomit from flowing out.

There were a few moments of awkward silence as neither of them spoke, both of them focusing far too much on the horrible aches in their stomachs.

"I'm Leonard." He eventually said.

"Karina." The woman replied with a half-hearted smile.

Leonard smiled as best as he could and nodded. "Nice to meet you."

"And you."

Leonard looked at Karina for a few seconds as he tried his best to figure out where she was from. Her accent suggested she was neither American nor British, and he hadn't heard enough of her voice to really tell where in the world she came from.

As he looked at her he realized he had met this woman before; the very first day he had arrived, she was among the people he had spoken to outside the ship. She was a fairly small girl, a few inches shorter than him, and quite plump. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a ponytail with a side fringe hanging down one side and she was wearing a simple hoodie and jeans. She was wearing no make-up on her sick skin, and was fairly tomboyish from what he could tell. He was certain that she was the type of girl that didn't care what she looked like, to him, or anyone else, but had dark eyes and soft features that showed that if she wasn't sick, and put in a little more effort, she could be quite pretty. There was something intriguing about her, something that was almost familiar and he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"So, uh…" Leonard searched his brain for something to say, for no other real reason than he wanted to hear her speak and know where she was from, without asking her outright. "What are you here for?" He shook his head nervously, "I mean, not here at the nurse's office." He said quickly, "It's obvious you are here for the same reason as me." He widened his eyes. "Not that I'm saying you look a mess- I mean, sick- you don't- well, you do, but that's probably because you _are_ sick- like me. Sea sick. Am I right? I hope I'm right and I haven't just completely offended you. I'm sorry." Leonard stopped, shook his head, took a deep breath and rubbed his temples. "What I meant to ask was, what are you doing on the ship?"

Karina laughed a little at the discomfort of the man beside her and said, "You can relax, you are right I am sea sick." She chuckled. "I'm one of the computer geeks on this ship. I set up all the firewalls that ensure that no-one can hack in to our computers and see what we are doing out here."

Leonard frowned, "It's hardly some sort of top secret mission." He chuckled.

"Oh I know, but there are people out there that will want their hands on whatever we find or don't find out here. I have to make sure they don't get what they are looking for."

"Oooh sounds exciting." He chuckled.

Karina shrugged, "Not really. I spend a lot of my time on Youtube… or playing Tetris- I _love_ Tetris." She laughed and Leonard chuckled back, "Although it doesn't really help with the seasickness."

Leonard's stomach churned and he grimaced at the mere sound of the word. "Ugh."

"Sorry." She said with a laugh.

Then it clicked. "You're Australian!" Leonard exclaimed.

Karina moved her head back in shock, "Um… yes." She replied timidly, confused as to why he was so excited about that fact.

"Sorry." He said when he noticed her confusion. "It's just- I was trying to figure that out for a while there. I couldn't place the accent, even although I know what it sounds like. Not from personal experience, though. I've never met an Australian before- except on television. Well, no, not _met_ them because you don't _meet_ people you watch on television you just _see_ them, and hear them… So yeah I've heard it before but never in real life." Leonard stopped and shook his head again.

"Oh." She frowned. "Okaaay."

Leonard rubbed his temples again, wondering why he always had to make himself sound like _such_ an idiot. He still hadn't mastered the art of talking to women properly, even when he had no romantic interest in them, he still came off sounding like a complete tool.

"So what are you doing here? On the ship?" Karina asked, deciding to ignore the weird moment from before as she felt quite sorry for him.

Leonard turned slightly and smiled, glad that he hadn't made such a fool of himself that she wouldn't want to talk to him anymore and make the rest of the wait into the nurse's office incredibly awkward. "I'm an exper-"

"Oh my God!" Karina said as she glanced down at his t-shirt, "Sorry." She said, realizing she had just interrupted him. "But is that the molecule for caffeine on your t-shirt?"

Leonard looked down, although he already knew that it was. "Uh, yeah. Why?" He asked with a frown.

"I have that t-shirt!" She replied, "Except its red. I _love_ red. See." She said as she lifted her leg to show off her red chucks.

Leonard smiled. "Cool."

At that moment Leonard got an all too familiar feeling as the ship moved beneath him. He groaned and shut his eyes, clutching his stomach and trying his best not to vomit in front of the poor girl sitting beside him. He noticed however, when he opened his eyes, that she was doing exactly the same thing as him and he let out a soft chuckle. "Motion sickness sucks huh?" He said.

"Yeah, it's a shame we have to endure four more months of it."

"True dat."

Karina turned to him with an amused grin, and Leonard felt immediately foolish again and shook his head with a little embarrassment. Just then someone left the nurses room, followed by the nurse herself and called Leonard in. "Well, goodbye." He said as he stood up. "I'm sure I'll see you around at some point."

"Yeah, probably when you come back out of that room."

Leonard looked to the door and back to her. "Oh yeah, right." He said with a chuckle and a nod before following the nurse into the room, hoping with all hope she would have some sort of cure for his nausea and headaches.

* * *

Back in California, the girls continued to shop. It turned out Penny was right, shopping while tipsy certainly was a bad idea, as the girls' perception of what would be a good purchase was greatly lowered. They spent most of the rest of their day, trying on the worst outfits they could find and taking pictures of themselves looking ridiculous, before deciding it would be hilarious to buy a novelty pair of sunglasses and put them on as they browsed the stores. They received unimpressed and strange looks from the strangers in the mall, but not one of the girls cared, they just continued to shop like nothing about them was unusual, stumbling in and out of store after store, and bursting out laughing every time they caught a glimpse of themselves in the mirror, looking incredibly ridiculous.

They went into stores that they would never have normally bothered with, including a particularly nerdy one that they knew their significant others would just love. They browsed the small store that had only two other customers in it, both of whom looked at the girls as if they were aliens that had just landed from another planet, and ended up purchasing some random stuff that they knew their men would like.

Before they knew it, it was almost four o'clock and the girls found their enthusiasm beginning to wear thin. Their feet began to ache again as the alcohol in their bloodstream slowly disappeared, and they decided it was about time they went home, that was, until Amy spotted one last store she wanted to visit.

"Oh my God!" Amy said as they walked through the mall, pointing in the direction of a teddy bear store. "It's one of those stores where you can build your own bear! Let's go!" She said before scurrying away in front, leaving Bernadette and Penny in tow.

"I have always wanted to do this!" Amy said as she picked up one of the generic teddy bears and began to browse the selection of clothes and accessories.

Penny giggled along with her friend's excitement, until something caught her eye. She turned to the corner of the store and instantly began to laugh, before walking over, this time leaving Bernadette and Amy to follow her.

"What is it?" Bernadette asked as they caught up to their giggling friend.

"Look!" She said as she went to pick up two bears. "It's Bert and Ernie!"

Bernadette and Amy looked at Penny with a little confusion, unsure about why she was getting so excited about such a thing. It was then that they noticed the store had a 'Sesame Street' promotion going on, and they not only had Bert and Ernie teddies, but they had Big Bird, Cookie Monster, Elmo, Count, Oscar; just about every character the show had to offer.

"I guess you were a fan of Sesame Street as a child?" Amy said.

Penny smiled and nodded. "Yeah sort of, but it's not just that." She said excitedly. "I think they are just like Leonard and Sheldon!" She held the teddies out together and began to move them as if they were walking together. Bernadette and Amy then nodded in silent agreement as they looked at the tall and short pair. "We have to get them!"

Penny handed Amy the 'Bert' teddy and headed off before Amy could even agree, only to return with a pair of glasses, little dark hoodie and a green t-shirt for 'Ernie', as well as a red lightning bolt t-shirt and an astronaut outfit. She handed Amy the red t-shirt, explaining that it was kind of like Sheldon's red flash one, and gave Bernadette the astronaut one, insisting that she got it and bought herself her own teddy version of Howard.

"Bernadette, look!" Amy shouted from a few feet away, waving a blue Smurf teddy in the air. "I found Howard!"

The girls laughed as Bernadette took the Smurf from Amy and agreed to buy it, before they all headed up to the cashier.

Once each of the girls had paid for their bears, they hailed a cab and headed home. Deciding it best to get out of there before something else caught their eye and they ended up spending the rest of the day in that mall, as well as the rest of their hard earned cash.

They arrived at Penny's apartment building and carried their bags up the stairs and into her apartment. As soon as they were in the door they dropped their bags and slumped down on the sofa, completely exhausted.

There was a few moments of silence as the girls all looked at the abundance of bags scattered in front of them.

"What did I tell you girls?" Penny said, breaking the silence and slowly shaking her head. "Shopping and cocktails is a bad combination."

* * *

**The second half of this chapter was inspired by a t-shirt I saw whilst I was browsing the internet. Don't ask what I was looking up, because i'm not sure... It could have been something to do with either Leonard or Sheldon's t-shirts... I dunno. Anyway, I saw this t-shirt that had Bert and Ernie, standing together dressed as Leonard and Sheldon and I just had to put it in here somewhere! So yeah, there you go! All review are welcome and appreciated and i'll be back on Tuesday with your next update :) **


	25. Stay

**Just want to say, I know I have been sort of neglecting the Shamy in this story lately, but don't worry, not only is this chapter dedicated to them, but I have a few things up my sleeve planned for them in the future. I am very conscious about not rushing the two of them, because I don't think it would sit right with me to have them just suddenly become very close, i'm trying to ease it in a little bit I guess! I have also been taking the time to explore all the different friendships in the story, like the three girls, S/P, and I really wanted to get a good bit in about Leonard's time on the ship and the people he meets there. I guess this has sort of turned from what was intended to be solely about L/P and S/A, and turned into an all round story. Anyway, like I said I have big plans for both S/A and L/P, it just might take me a while to get there! This, like I said before, has turned out much longer than I had anticipated it would be, although I'm sure most of you don't mind :P **

**Stay**

Penny, Amy and Bernadette sat in Penny's apartment for a good hour or so after their shopping trip. They spent most of that time on the sofa, quietly talking through the day's events and slowly getting their energy back that they had lost walking through dozens of stores and then up those four flights of stairs.

Bernadette was the first to leave, stating that she had better get home before she spent the rest of the day on that sofa, and Amy left not long after, deciding to head over to see Sheldon and show him her purchases of the day, not that he would be entirely interested.

That left Penny alone as five o'clock crept up and her stomach began to rumble. She got up and put all her bags into her room, without even bothering to put her purchases away; she was too hungry to do that right now. She stripped off her jeans and top and threw on her sweat pants and Leonard's recycle t-shirt, figuring that she wouldn't be leaving the house again today anyway, before heading out to the kitchen to make some dinner for herself. She checked the time and smiled upon seeing that it was twenty-five past five, and she would have plenty of time to make something to eat before Skyping Leonard at the time they had agreed yesterday of six o'clock. Every talk they had had recently was cut off abruptly because of his motion sickness, so they agreed that they would have a proper, hopefully uninterrupted chat tonight and she couldn't wait.

She rummaged through her fridge with a smile on her face as she pulled out stuff to make herself a salad for dinner, as she counted down the minutes until six o'clock came.

* * *

Amy entered 4a with enthusiasm, dragging all her bags with her as Sheldon looked on in shock from his desk chair.

"Were you out shopping for a whole new wardrobe of clothes?" He asked as he studied the various bags on his floor.

"No. I actually only got a few new outfits. The rest are just what some might call 'impulse buys'!" Amy said with a smile.

Sheldon shook his head as he registered a slight difference in Amy's usual demeanour, and he knew exactly what had caused it. "Amy have you been drinking? Your pupils are more dilated than usual and you are acting quite excitable."

"The girls and I _may_ have had a few alcoholic beverages with our lunch, but I can assure you that it had no influence on what I purchased." Amy said defiantly.

Sheldon sighed, "I wish I could believe that, however the inordinate amount of bags you have scattered around my floor tells me otherwise."

"Would you like to see what I got?" Amy asked with excitement, deciding to ignore his comment.

"If I say no are you going to show me anyway?" Sheldon asked as he got up and headed to the kitchen for a bottle of water.

"Yes, but I would appreciate some interest on your part."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Alright then." He sat down on his spot, put down his water and looked up at Amy with his best attempt at real curiosity over what she had bought. "Gosh Amy." He waved his hand in front of him, motioning to the bags on the floor. "This sure looks like an interesting collection of bags you have here. I would just love it if you would show me what you purchased today at the mall." He looked up at Amy and smiled.

Koala face. Amy knew it well, but instead of becoming annoyed that he was obviously faking his interest in her purchases, she smiled back and appreciated his attempt. "I was hoping you would say that Sheldon!" She said as she began to show him one by one, each thing she had bought that day, giving a long winded explanation behind each purchase.

She laughed at his puzzled expression when she pulled out her novelty sunglasses and modelled them for him, before taking them off again and pulling out her 'Bert' teddy.

"I was unaware that you are a fan 'Sesame Street'." He said with a frown as he looked over her teddy.

"Oh, I am not." She replied, shaking her head. "Penny was. Apparently the 'Bert and Ernie' characters represent you and Leonard in some way, in Penny's head anyway."

Sheldon shook his head, "Lord knows what goes on in that woman's head sometimes. Did you know that today, she actually tried to say that a windscreen was the same as a window." Sheldon sighed as he put the teddy down. "And you people say _I'm_ the one that's crazy."

"Don't you like it?" Amy asked nodding towards the 'Bert' teddy on the table, with its little red t-shirt on.

"Not particularly." He shrugged. "I'm not overly keen on teddy bears. I am more of an action figure kinda guy."

"Oh," Amy said with a little disappointment. She had thought it would of given his already inflated ego a boost, having a little teddy that resembled him. Apparently not. "Well, maybe you will like this better then." She said as she picked up the bag of stuff she had purchased at the little nerdy store the girls had visited, and pulled out a boxed figurine.

Sheldon gasped, "Is that The Flash?!"

"It is." Amy replied. "Looking all tough in his little box!" She said with a laugh. "I also got you this." She said as she pulled out a green t-shirt.

"The Hulk!" Sheldon said excitedly.

"Yes, The Hulk. I thought the chest and abdominal muscle definition printed on the front of the shirt might boost your testosterone level a little."

"These are for me?" He said with surprise as he looked pointed to the things on the table.

Amy looked at him with a slight frown, "Yes. I wouldn't purchase such things for myself." She said, looking at him as if that was obvious.

"Well normally I would have thought the same thing, however I couldn't dismiss the possibility that you were following in Penny's footsteps with her sudden likeness for men's attire." He said before looking down at his gifts and picking up his t-shirt. "This will look just great with my Hulk hands!" He said excitedly, and then he smiled at her, a real smile, before putting down The Flash. "Thank you Amy."

"You're welcome." She replied with a smile, and there was a few seconds of pure silence as they looked one another in the eye. She had a love-hate relationship with these looks, because although she loved the fact that he was staring at her with such intent and almost wonderment, those looks always made her heart pound and she would constantly have to fight the urge to kiss him. It happened on that Dungeons and Dragons night, and it kept on happening.

When he eventually shifted his gaze from her, Amy's heart sunk. She wanted nothing more than to go over to him and pull him in for a warm, romantic embrace. She wanted to put her hands around his body and touch his soft lips against hers, but she had become a master at putting her own wants and needs second to his, and instead she gave him a smile and he picked up his toy and began to talk to it through the plastic.

Amy turned with a sigh and began to put her days shopping into their bags again, as she tried to calm her pounding heart, when Sheldon got her attention. "What are you doing?" He asked.

Amy frowned at the question, since to her it was fairly obvious. "I'm putting everything back into their bags, so it will be easier to carry them home."

"You are going home?"

"Well, yes." She shrugged.

"Oh." Sheldon said dejectedly, looking down at the floor. He didn't want her to go. He genuinely hated being in this apartment alone and he wanted nothing more than for her to stay and keep him company. "But…" He began, before trailing off, unsure if he wanted to actually tell her that, but then, how else would she know? If he didn't say it, she would leave, and he would be left alone.

"But what?" Amy pushed.

"Well…" Sheldon took a breath. There was nothing he could do, he just had to say it. "I was hoping you would stay." He said quietly.

Amy's heart flew out of her chest. "Really?" She wasn't quite used to such brutal honestly when it came to him, especially not concerning things like this.

Sheldon nodded. "I could order pizza for dinner, or Thai food if you would prefer it. You must be famished after your day out buying all of this."

What he failed to mention was that the reason he wanted her to stay was because he had missed her, even although he was sure that it wasn't even possible since he had only just seen her yesterday. He hadn't been in her presence since she had dropped him at work the previous morning. They had chatted briefly on Monday evening, but since then they hadn't spoken, or even texted, due to her plans with the girls, and he had missed interacting, and just being with her.

Sheldon sighed at the fact she was still simply staring blankly at him. It was his own fault that she was hesitant to believe him; he had spent so much of his time insisting that he never felt anything deep for her, and could drop her like _that_ if he wanted to. Insisting to himself that he didn't need her in his life. He didn't need anyone. But that was untrue. He knew it and he was certain Amy was beginning to figure that out too.

Good. Maybe he wanted her to know that. Maybe he wanted her to know that he had missed her today, even although it made no sense to him. Maybe he wanted her to know that his feelings, as deep as they already were, were beginning to go deeper, into a place he had never even known existed inside himself.

Should he tell her he was enchanted by her that Saturday evening? Should he tell her she was making his heart beat faster when she sat close to him, and made it leap when she smiled? Should he tell her that he was beginning to crave the close contact she provided him with? Should he tell her those moments when she held his hand, or sat incredibly close to him, he found himself fighting a battle in his head? His well-trained, obsessively germ phobic tendencies, fighting against his primal, and emotional needs. Should he tell her about that day when he rested her head on his lap without her even knowing it, and found himself contemplating love, for the first time in his life?

Yes. He should tell her every word of it because she had a right to know, and deep down he wanted her to. Deep down he was still afraid that those words Penny once spoke would come to fruition, and Amy would get fed up of waiting on him and leave. It was a thought that got scarier as each day passed and his feelings for her grew, and he knew all he had to do was tell her this, and she would understand how much she meant to him. He knew he should tell her that these feelings he had for her, were beginning to bring out a need in him, an urge that he had never previously experienced. He wanted her beside him, he wanted her touch, and he wanted her kiss.

Yes, he knew he should tell her all of this, but as he opened his mouth to speak, his courage faded. His unwillingness to put himself out there, to lose control and be entirely vulnerable, took over and he simply asked her to stay once more.

"Will you stay for dinner?" He asked timidly.

Amy let her frown disappear and smiled. "Okay, but I refuse to watch Star Trek this time!"


	26. Copper

**Soooo, this will be my last chapter for a few days. I am off to Dublin for the weekend, going to see Rihanna in concert (eeek excited!) :) So I wont be able to update this again until Monday. Sorry about that. Although at least im not leaving you hangjng with a cliffhanger like some people! (i'm looking at you Tensor!). Anyway, normally I would have updated it using my phone, to keep to my 'one update every two days' thing, but if I do that then I will have caught up with myself regarding how much I have written. I always like to stay at least two chapters ahead of you guys and since I wont be able to write over there then... well you get the idea. haha So yeah, enjoy this one and i'll see you again on Monday :) **

**Copper**

"So sweetie, tell me, how did it go with the nurse today? You still look pretty sick." Penny said to Leonard through her laptop screen as she picked at the last of her food. She was sitting, cross legged on her bed, with her laptop sitting on the bed in front of her and her plate in her hands.

"It was alright. She told me that there is nothing stronger than Dramamine to give me so I just have to suffer through it." He replied on the other side, sitting at his desk. "She gave me some tips to help my body get used to it quicker, like going for walks on the deck, and keeping an eye on the horizon. She also gave me this wrist band," He held up his arm to show her. "It has a a small plastic bubble that apparently puts pressure on a certain point at the wrist, it's supposed to be an acupressure point that prevents seasickness." Leonard shrugged. "I'll have to give them a try. Hopefully it will work. The good thing is, i'm not the only one suffering. I was sitting with this girl while I was waiting to go in and she was sick too." He chuckled.

"Oh really?" Penny replied, unable to stop her face from falling at the mention of a girl.

"Yeah," He replied, not noticing the look on Penny's face. "Her name was Karina, she was Australian." He said with a little excitement. "I've never met an Australian before."

Penny forced herself to smile, "That's cool." She said with a nod as she put her plate of food on to her nightstand and picked up the laptop to sit on her lap.

Leonard smiled, then suddenly realized that spending the only time he get's to talk to his girlfriend, talking about some girl he had just met, probably wasn't the best idea. "So, how-" He began, before noticing that she was wearing his t-shirt. "Hey, you're in my t-shirt again." He couldn't stop the huge grin on his face.

"Mmhmm," She said with a grin. "I've worn it to bed the past few days. I did tell you that you aren't getting it back." She laughed.

"Hmm." Leonard smiled and nodded slowly as he stared at her. "It's nice on you." He said and she gave a small smile in return. Suddenly, all he could think about was how incredibly beautiful she was, even in the distorted picture. He tingled at the thought of her in bed each night, wrapped up in his clothes. It was a thought that he hadn't been able to remove from his head since he had learned she took them from his room.

"Leonard." Penny said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" He asked, still in his little trance.

"Unless you wanna get your cute little tushy on the next flight back out to California, I suggest you stop looking at me like that." She said, biting down a grin.

"Uh, right, yeah." He cleared his throat and shook his head. "Um, yeah. So, uh, did you get anything nice when you were shopping?"

Penny grinned at how adorable he was when he was flustered, before looking to her shopping bags and remembering what she had bought. "I did. Here i'll show you!" She jumped off the bed, turned the laptop around and rummaged through her bags. She showed him the various tops, jeans, dresses and underwear she had purchased, before moving on to what she really wanted to show him.

"And I got something for you too!"

"I thought the underwear was for me?" He teased.

"No, the underwear was for me, you just get the benefits of it." She said with a grin, "_These_ are for you." She pulled out a couple of t-shirts from a bag and held one up. "Do you like it?" She asked of the light blue t-shirt with the letters Cu in a box.

"I prefer the underwear." He joked as Penny tilted her head and glared at him. "I'm kidding, of course I like it. What is that on the front? The element sign for... copper?" He said as he strained to look through the pixels at the t-shirt on his screen.

"Yup." She grinned.

Leonard looked at the screen with a little confusion, "Cool... But, why copper? That's a little… I dunno, random." He chuckled.

"No it's not! Think about it for a second _genius_!" She giggled, "What is _made_ from copper?"

Leonard sat back in his desk chair, "Um… Lots of things… Electromagnets, copper wire, transformer coils, printed circuit boards, gen-"

"Okay, something a little more common than those." She interrupted.

"They are pretty common."

"Leonnaarrd! You know what I mean!" She whined as she held the t-shirt up again. "Come on baby, you can get it."

"Alright." He sighed and thought for another second as he rested his elbow on his desk and his chin in his hand. "Um… Telephone cables... jewellery, pennies, roof gu-"

"Yes! Pennies!" Penny said excitedly pointing to the screen and then back to her. "Penny!"

"Ohh!" Leonard said with a laugh. "Alright I get it now… Kinda cheesy is it not?" He chuckled.

Penny laughed. "Well, it didn't seem like it at the time, and the girls were pretty insistent that I got it for you, but we _were_ half bombed at the time." Penny shrugged, "Oh well, it's yours now anyway!"

"I love it." He smiled.

"I also got you this one." She said holding up a dark blue t-shirt. "It says, _'Keep Calm, I'm The Doctor.'_" She said with a deep voice, then laughed, "It's a Doctor Who t-shirt, I got it before Amy could get it for Sheldon."

"Cool! I love the both of them."

Penny smiled and threw the t-shirts on her bed, then bent down to rummage through her bags again, as Leonard raised an eyebrow, unable to stop himself from admiring her body.

"But my favourite thing I got was this." She pulled out her 'Ernie' teddy, that had been done up with a pair of glasses, a green t-shirt and a dark hoodie, and stood up straight again.

Leonard cleared his dry throat and looked at what she was holding. "Oh my God is that an Ernie teddy?"

"Yup!" Penny smiled, "But not just any Ernie, this is Leonard Ernie. See, he has your glasses and clothes that are kinda like yours." She giggled, "We got a Bert one for Amy too, and made it up like Sheldon. We even got Bernadette a Smurf teddy with an astronaut outfit." Penny grinned and looked at her teddy and fiddled with his clothes, as she went to sit on her bed again, turning the laptop to face her in the process. "He's so cute isn't he? I think he will have to be my snuggle buddy for the next few months."

Leonard chuckled, "Oh great, I've been replaced by a teddy bear." He said sarcastically.

"Would you rather I replaced you with someone else?" Penny teased and Leonard frowned, "I'm joking sweetie, relax. Little Ernie here is the only one that I will be sharing my bed with." She said before giving the teddy a squeeze.

"Good." Leonard said then smiled, "As long as he doesn't try anything on, because if he does I will be putting a call out for those care bears to ambush his ass!"

Penny laughed and they spent the next hour and a half, talking away and making jokes, just like they would have had he been with her in person.

Despite the fact that it was the middle of the night in the North Sea, Leonard didn't show any signs of tiredness, making Penny completely forget that there was even a time difference between them at all. But the conversations inevitable end came, when Leonard couldn't hold back a yawn, and Penny was snapped back to the reality of what was soon to happen.

Soon, he would have to leave and retire to his bed, alone, and she would have to do the same a while after. She would try to hold it off. She would try and think up any excuse to get him to talk to her for just a little longer, simply to prolong the conversation and fend off the horrible goodbye.

The goodbye's always brought her to the edge of tears, but each time she managed to stop them, forcing herself not to cry in front of him, because she knew he would only worry for her, and he didn't need that sort of worry when he was supposed to be focusing on his work.

The end of their talks always ended the same way. Penny would tell him, reluctantly, that he should probably go, to either get back to work or go to sleep, because she knew he wouldn't be the one to say it, even although she hated to do it. He would agree and there would be a few seconds of sad silence, before one of them would say, 'I love you', only to have it instantly repeated back to them without a thought. They would say, 'I miss you', and although Leonard wasn't feeling that as deeply as she was as he went about his life on that boat, when they talked those feelings came to surface. It was only when he got the chance to stop and talk to her, that he realized just how much he missed having her around. It was then he would realize the small things he missed about her, like her smile, her laugh and her wit. And then they would say 'goodbye', and repeat the 'I love you' one more time before hanging up.

It was this little routine of words that stuck in Penny's head once he was gone from her screen, and it was this little sequence that Leonard thought about as he drifted off to sleep. He, of course, would think and re-think over everything. He would ponder every word of their conversation, overthinking every word as he thought about the meanings behind each one. He would wonder how much she really missed him and how much it was affecting her, because he could tell she was feeling it more than she was letting on. He would think over the 'I love you' that she said so freely and heartfelt, and his heart would almost burst, just like it did that very first time. She loved him, she was no longer afraid to say it and that would lead to him wondering what was next for them. When they would take the next step, and how long he would have to wait for her to be ready to ask him the question he had put in her hands, and if she ever would be.

She, on the other hand, simply repeated his voice in her head. She didn't think over what it all meant or how much he meant what he had said. She just replayed his words as she put away her purchases of the day. She hung up her newest dresses, jeans and tops. She put his t-shirts into her drawer and then put her new shoes on her shoe rack, as she thought about everything he had told her about his day. When she went to bed, she repeated his 'I love you' in her head as she closed her eyes, and held tightly on to the small foot-long Ernie teddy. She let a few tears fall onto her pillow as she longed for the day when she didn't have to look to cuddly toys for comfort, and could, once again, hold him instead.

It was crazy to think that the first week was almost over. She had gone five days without him and it wasn't getting any easier. She still had her brief moments of confusion when he wouldn't be where she expected him to. She still had a few moments when her door was rattled, by someone other than Sheldon, that she thought it could be him. She still woke up, in the middle of the night, reaching for the man she knew wasn't there, and each time she did these things, she cursed herself for being so idiotic. When she was hit with the horrible disappointment, she shook her head and hated the dependency she had put on him. She hated that doing certain things, like eating dinner in her own apartment, was weird because he wasn't doing it with her. That little routine that they had gotten into, and that she enjoyed so much, had become cause for so much hurt in her stomach that she would be turned off her food.

This was what she hated about love. She hated how much dependency it made her put on him and the vulnerability it gave her around him. The fact that at any moment he could do something that would rip her to shreds, was something that terrified her. Her heart was no longer safe inside its cage, it was in his hands and all he had to do was drop it and she would be in a state of ruin. She hated that. But it was only in moments like these, when she was all alone, that she had these thoughts, because when he was here, she didn't think about how much it would hurt if he ever left for good. She didn't think about how she would pick herself back up if he ever tore her down, she thought only of how good he made her feel. How happy she was around him and how content, safe and loved she felt in his arms. It was in those moments, that she knew she had finally trusted the right person with her fragile heart, and she only had to wait fifteen weeks for him to be back here with her, where he belonged.


	27. Birthday Plans

**Birthday Plans**

"…and then Alex had the _audacity_ to try and argue that _Kripke's_ hypothesis actually had more merit than mines! _Kripke_!" Sheldon exclaimed and shook his head. "I mean, does she not realize she is working for _The_ Sheldon Lee Cooper!" Sheldon looked to Amy with his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised. "I mean _Kripke_! Of all people!" He shook his head again and sighed, "I will reluctantly admit that he was able to write a paper better than mines once, but twice? It's so improbable it's practically impossible!" Sheldon looked to Amy as they turned the stairs from the fourth, to the third floor. "Honestly Amy, that University is full of moronic human beings, excluding myself of course."

"Of course." Amy nodded. "Tell me Sheldon, if Alex is proving to be difficult to deal with, why don't you simply let her go? I believe that your reason for hiring her in the first place was so she could sort through your early workings, and I think I am correct in assuming she has already completed that task."

"Yes, she has." Sheldon sighed, "Sadly, it brought up nothing ground breaking. I won't lie to you Amy, I have considered letting her go, but I have only just managed to get her to be able to make me a decent cup of tea." Sheldon shrugged, "That time would be wasted if I didn't take advantage of it now. Also, your birthday is coming up in eight days, and I am going to require her assistance in searching for your gift."

"You're going to get her to help you pick out my gift?" Amy asked, a little hurt.

"Amy, you are well aware that despite my brilliance in other areas, I am no good with gift giving. The process is highly stressful, especially given the fact that I will have to account for the two out of the blue gifts you gave me last week." Sheldon turned to Amy. "Do you have a problem with Alex helping me?" He asked, eventually noticing the hurt tone in which she spoke.

"Well I would rather you got me something that you chose on your own, without help from your assistant."

Sheldon frowned and thought it over for a few seconds as they continued to walk down the stairs. "Alright." He finally said, "However, if I do this on my own and you deem the gift unsatisfactory, you only have yourself to blame."

Amy smiled and nodded, "That is perfectly reasonable. So have you made any plans for us on the evening of my birthday?"

He frowned again. "No. I suppose we could go to the cinema again like last year? I'm sure we could find something that both you and I would enjoy."

"No. No cinema, not again." Amy stared at him in an effort to convey just how unimpressed she was with his idea, but the confusion written all over his face told her she would have to spell it out for him. "We have been dating now for three years-"

"No, we have _known_ each other for nearly three years, we have only been 'dating' for a year and six months." He interrupted.

"Okay, we have been dating for a year and six months, so a cinema date for my birthday is no longer acceptable."

"Well, what would be acceptable?"

"A romantic dinner with a certain level of intimacy would be nice, just like you were supposed to provide on our anniversary."

Sheldon hesitated. It certainly wasn't his idea of a good time. Romance was something he just wasn't familiar enough with to be able to comfortably provide. He thought over his last attempt at pawning off that romance and intimacy by bringing Raj along to their anniversary and wondered if it would be completely unacceptable to do the same again, but the memory of Amy's reaction the last time gave him the answer he needed. He couldn't do that, she would only get upset again and he didn't want that. There really was no way around it. He had to provide her with the romantic, intimate evening she wanted, after all, it was her birthday. "Alright, a 'romantic' dinner it is."

Amy beamed, "Great! I can't wait. I expect to have the details of where we will be dining and what time at in the next couple of days so I can prepare."

"Prepare?" He asked, puzzled, and then sighed, deciding that he didn't really care to know what she meant. "Alright. I will let you know my plans as soon as they have been arranged."

"Thank you." Amy replied. "So, except from your little spat with Alex, how was your day?"

"Hmm, it was fairly standard. Nothing much out of the ordinary happened." He said, "As usual my ride to work this morning wasn't as mentally stimulating as those with you, but I have come to expect that from Penny."

Amy smiled at the compliment. "How was she this morning?"

Sheldon shrugged, "Not as perky as she was last Tuesday and Thursday. I had to knock on her door four times before she answered, and when she did she was less than pleasant. She barely spoke, save for a few mumbled curses and insults, and refused to play any sort of car game, not even I-Spy! The ride to work was severely slow."

Amy frowned. Every time she had seen Penny since their drunken shopping trip, she had seemed to be in good spirits. She was certain that Penny was beginning to adjust to the change, just as Sheldon was.

Sheldon had been slowly returning to his old, egotistical, condescending self, and she was so thankful for it. The downbeat, sad man of the first few days after Leonard's departure was almost completely gone, and she liked to think she had a part to play in that. She had spent almost every evening with him; save for vintage video game night when Penny took her place and played the games that Amy had no interest in. In fact, over the past week, she and Sheldon had become practically inseparable, if they weren't at work, they were usually together, be it at her place, or his. She loved that the two of them were becoming closer. She was beginning to see the slow progress he was making, even if it was just the smallest things. Like when they sat together, they sat so close that their arms touched together, and he didn't flinch or tense. They held hands more often, like when they watched television and sometimes even as they walked down the stairs, and it wasn't just her initiating that contact either. She had counted three occasions when he had held his hand out to hold hers. She knew it was only because he was anticipating that contact anyway, but it still meant something that he done it first. She could feel him changing, and it gave her such a great feeling inside. After three years, she was finally confident that he was letting go of whatever it was that was stopping him from becoming the kind of boyfriend she deserved and would soon be able to show her some of the intimacy that she so craved from him.

Amy had been just as confident that Penny was finally out of her depressed state, but Sheldon's words made her doubt herself. She had seen Penny every few days, and each time she had seen her she seemed content. Of course Amy knew she was still nowhere near as happy-go-lucky as she was before Leonard left, but she was nothing like the sad, dejected woman of a week ago. It made Amy worry slightly for her friend, but took some comfort in the fact that she and Sheldon were on their way to meet Howard and Raj at The Cheesecake Factory for dinner, and she knew Penny was working tonight. She knew that she would be able to deduce whether Penny's grumpy mood this morning towards Sheldon was simply due to her hatred for early mornings, and her reluctance to share them with the neurotic Sheldon, and hoped that it wasn't a sign that she was reverting back to her earlier state of despair over the absence of her beloved.

"I have tried to be flexible with her due to the circumstances," Sheldon said. "but I have to say, if she keeps this attitude up, I am going to have to be forced to rethink the amended schedule." Sheldon said and turned to Amy with wide eyes, "I was three minutes and twenty five seconds late to the University today. I am hoping to get tenure Amy, I can't be allowing for such tardiness."

"You don't have much of a choice Sheldon, unless you want to take the bus to work every Tuesday and Thursday." Amy reasoned, then continued upon seeing Sheldon's shocked expression. "Sheldon, Penny is driving you around as a favour to you, just as I am. The fact is, if you aren't happy with the situation, the only way to resolve it is to free Penny of her responsibility and find your own way to work."

"I understand what you are saying, however Penny knew what she was getting into when she signed the agreement. This is as much her fault as it is mine."

"I agree, although I suggest you continue to be patient with her. She is obviously still missing Leonard, and you know how that feels." She turned to him and he looked back at her for a second before nodding in acknowledgement. "What you felt those first few days, and probably still feel to some extent, she is still feeling, only magnified."

"Alright, I see your point." He said as they left the apartment building to the car park, "I will continue to be 'nice', but only since you requested it." He turned to her, " You know, she is lucky she has a friend like you to defend her actions Amy Farrah Fowler, because otherwise, she would have been dropped by now."

"Thank you." Amy smiled, "Just don't mention that to her. I doubt she would see that as 'lucky'."

Sheldon frowned, unable to understand what she meant, then headed into the passenger seat of Amy's car. She drove to The Cheesecake Factory, as Sheldon quizzed her about her day, just as social protocol dictated, and before long they were at the restaurant. They circled the car park a few times, until Sheldon decided on a suitable space for Amy to leave her car, then headed inside, instantly spotting Raj and Howard, engrossed in some heated debate.

Amy and Sheldon sat down at the table, and the three boys began to argue amongst themselves about which Batman villain was the best. Amy had a brief look around the restaurant for Penny, hoping to see her with a smile on her face to erase all fears of her well-being, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"Has Penny come to take your drink orders yet?" Amy asked Howard and Raj.

"No," Raj answered. "We haven't seen her yet, but we only got here a few minutes ago."

"Oh." Amy said with a nod as the boys returned to their debate and she continued to search the room for her friend.

* * *

Penny was sitting just outside the back of the restaurant, taking in her last few breaths of fresh air before she had to get back to work. It had been a long day that had begun badly due to her lack of sleep that night. It had been her turn to stay up late for Leonard's call, and it was after four in the morning before she actually got off the phone with him. After that, it had taken her at least half an hour to get to sleep, which was better than usual, and she had her Ernie to thank for that. Due to the late night, she had forgotten to set her alarm, so, when Sheldon knocked on her door at half seven, it had taken her a while to realize what was going on before she managed to jump up, throw her sweat pants and one of Leonard's hoodies on, and run to the door.

The abrupt awakening had caused her, admittedly, to become a complete bitch to Sheldon that morning. She barely said a word that wasn't mumbled or growled at him, and she felt bad about it as soon as he left the car, but she quickly got over it. The bad start to the day only set the tone for what was to come. She had an audition for a small part in a local play, but blew it because she went to the wrong theatre, and when she finally got to the correct one where the auditions were being held, she was hungry, tired and flustered, causing her to completely mess it up. She had returned to her apartment at roughly half four, in a tired, glum, and frustrated state. This was how she always felt after a bad audition, and normally she would turn to Leonard, who would cheer her up by telling her how good of an actress she was, that the part she was auditioning for wasn't meant to be her big break anyway, and give her a warm hug. That combination of things would make her feel a little better about herself, but she didn't have him here for that now.

So she headed to work in a bitch of a mood, which didn't make for a good waitress. She had an almost constant scowl on her face, and even when she tried to be nice it came off looking, and sounding, very fake. She got orders wrong, took food to the wrong table, spilled drinks and basically earned the title of the worst waitress in that restaurant. Even her pretty face didn't help her where tips were concerned.

It had been so bad that her boss had forced her to take a few minutes out, which she was doing now, in the hope that the fresh air would clear her head and the short break would remove some of her frustrations of the day. She had to admit that it did help a little and she re-entered the dining room with a small smile on her face, a smile that only widened when she saw her friends. That smile turned to confusion however, when she spotted the three boys and Amy, and just like had been happening on and off for the past couple of weeks, she wondered why Leonard wasn't sitting with them. It was the first time they had eaten here since Leonard had gone, and this was the first time she would have to serve them, and not him.

She stood at the doorway of the dining room, frozen to the spot as she looked at that table that had one hugely important person missing from it. As she stood there she was bumped on the shoulder by one of the other waitresses bringing out food to the customers, and it snapped her from her daze. She then spotted Amy wave from the table and she forced her legs to walk over.

"Hey bestie!" Amy said enthusiastically, hoping that her excitement would pull Penny from whatever it was that had suddenly brought such pain to her face.

"Uh, yeah hi." She said as she stood at the table, taking a few quick glances out the double doors of the entrance, waiting on him to come through those doors, even though she knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Aren't you going to take our order?" Sheldon asked.

Penny shot him a glare, but didn't answer him. She didn't know what to say. Her head was muddled, and at that moment, she honestly didn't know if she would be able to concentrate on what they would order. She had taken their order countless times in the past, yet right now, she couldn't remember what each person would ask for, even Sheldon, whose dinner request never changed.

"I… Um…" Her eyes darted and she cleared her throat. She couldn't do it. All her horrible feelings from the day came bubbling up, her failed audition and her lack of comforting afterwards. Her lack of sleep and abrupt awakening, it all caused this intense feeling that made tears sting at her eyes and her stomach knot. "I… need to go. I'll… um" She shook her head, "get someone else… sorry."

And she left, scurrying out to the back of the restaurant to collect her purse and get into her car as fast as possible.

Sheldon looked to Amy, who was looking in the direction Penny had left in. Howard and Raj followed Amy's gaze and then looked at each other. Every one of them was confused. None of them understood what had caused her sudden change of emotion, and none of them knew what to do.

"Should we go after her?" Howard asked with concern.

They all looked to Amy. She was the only woman there, therefore they figured she would be the one to understand her actions best. She wracked her brilliant brain, and remembered a few things Bernadette had said about Penny struggling to get used to not having Leonard around at certain times or in certain situations, and it occurred to her that maybe the fact that this was their first Cheesecake Factory outing without him, had brought about that emotion that seemed to cripple her.

"No." Amy said, shaking her head. "I don't think there is much we could do for her right now. She will probably just go home, and hopefully, call Leonard."


	28. A Bad Day

**I know, another update already?! I couldn't help it, it was just sitting there staring at me... Anyway, hope you are all still enjoying this and remember to keep those reviews coming, they make me happy :) **

**A Bad Day**

Penny sat in her car and slammed the door shut behind her. She was angry; angry at herself for being so stupid, again, as to think that he was going to walk in that restaurant with the rest of the guys. It had been two weeks. Two weeks he had been gone and she still wasn't able to shake that feeling. She was angry at herself, for being such a pathetic excuse for an actress that she couldn't even get to the correct audition in good time. She was angry at Sheldon, for never taking the time to learn how to drive, forcing the duty on to her and Amy and giving her the early mornings she so hated. She was angry at Leonard, for leaving her with the crazy man, and for forcing her to spend each night alone. She was angry for all these reasons, even although she knew she shouldn't be. It was pointless to feel angry about things that she had no power to change; that's what she tried to tell herself anyway.

Penny turned on her car and headed out on to the road as the pounding rain that came on suddenly, hit off her windscreen. She drove home fast, too fast for the rainy conditions, until her car started to stutter only a few blocks from her apartment.

"No, no, no, no, no, no!" She pleaded as the car chugged to a stop. "What the hell you stupid piece of crap!" She yelled at the car as she hit the steering wheel and directed it to the side of the road, until it stopped dead. She pulled the key out, then put it back in and tried to start the car again, but the little red Volkswagen refused to come to life. Penny could feel her stomach clench, her chest tighten and the inevitable tears sting her eyes. "Why. Won't. You. Just. Start?!" She growled at the car as she pounded the wheel with her clenched fist after each word and then tried the ignition again, but the engine still refused to come on.

She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and hit her head against her headrest as a few tears strolled down her cheek; her anger, frustration and lack of sleep getting the better of her. When she opened her eyes a few seconds later, something clicked and she realized what was wrong; it was out of gas. She had seen that little red light on her dashboard, the one beside the 'check engine' one, informing her that her tank was almost empty, earlier on today. She had told herself then, that she would fill up her car before work, but obviously forgot. She shook her head and let out a short, tearful, disbelieving laugh as she thought how typical to her day it was that this would happen, only a few blocks from her apartment, and in the pouring rain. She sat up and quickly wiped those tears that were staining her cheek away, before grabbing her purse and jacket and stepping out into the rain to walk the last few blocks to her apartment. She put her purse over her shoulder and her jacket above her head to shield her hair from the rain as she ran to her home, cursing her car and her forgetfulness the whole way there.

She reached her apartment building, removed the jacket from her head and ran up the stairs as fast as her legs would carry her. She quickly entered her home and threw her jacket and purse to the side before heading to her room and collapsing on her bed. She didn't know whether to scream into her pillow or break down and cry. She wanted to do both, but nothing happened. She just lay there, face down on her bed with slightly damp clothes and a pain in her chest.

Today was a bad day. The first one in a while. She hated that she felt this miserable again, especially because for the past week, she felt like she was getting used to not having him around, and at certain points she was. She had gotten used to going into his apartment without expecting him to be there. She had gotten used to eating her dinner without him, although that was helped by the fact she often made sure she ate with someone else; anyone else. She had gotten used to only speaking to him once a day; saying goodbye was still horrible, but that would never change, she was sure of it. She hadn't, however, gotten used to waking up without him and going to bed alone. She hadn't gotten used to him not being the first person she would see at the end of her work shift, or the last person she would see before it. Those things still hurt.

Penny rolled over on to her back, and let out a sad sigh, before getting up and getting changed into his red t-shirt and boxers. She dried her hair a little and put it up, threw on one of his hoodies and then headed out to the front room. She sat on her sofa and turned on her laptop. Her only thought, was that she wanted to see Leonard, not even registering that it was the middle of the night in the North Sea.

* * *

Leonard was lying in his bed, with his laptop in front of him. It was almost two in the morning, but he couldn't sleep. The reason for it being a mixture between his ever present, yet slightly faded, motion sickness and thoughts of Penny.

He had managed to get a hold of his sickness during the day, taking walks out on the deck every few hours to clear his head, but evenings were harder to deal with. So he often spent a lot of nights awake until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer, and that usually meant he wasn't asleep until around three in the morning.

At this time of night, he would often think over his conversations with Penny. The only times he really felt her absence was when he was in bed alone, or talking to her over the phone. He would often think, during their daily calls, of how clinical the process seemed. Their talks were nowhere near as intimate or loving as they would have been had he been there with her, and talking to her on Skype, being able to see and hear her, but not be able to reach out and touch her, was proving quite difficult to deal with.

He was about to turn his laptop off, and try and get his mind off both Penny and the sickness in his stomach, when it suddenly began to play a familiar tune.

Penny was calling him, and he answered right away before the noise woke up his fast asleep roommate. As soon as he answered an image of Penny, sitting on her sofa, with the laptop obviously sitting on her lap, filled his screen. He could see that she was wearing his red t-shirt and one of his hoodies and her hair was obviously damp and pulled up into a messy ponytail. But the thing that concerned him most was the fact that her eyes were tired and painfully red. She had been crying and he could tell.

"Hey honey, how are you?" He asked with concern.

Penny tried to smile, but it refused to show itself. She wanted to lie, she wanted to tell him she was fine, but the words wouldn't come out. "Hey." She said with a quiet croak.

"What's wrong? Have you been crying?"

Penny shook her head a little, "No." She answered with a squeal through the lump in her throat.

Leonard let a small sympathetic smile curve in the corner of his mouth. "Penny, I can tell that you have. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"Leonard, I…" Penny croaked and shook her head. "I don't want to talk about it."

Leonard frowned. "Why not?"

"Because I just-" Penny stopped speaking and thought about what she was trying to say. "I- I don't want to _talk_ Leonard." Her voice cracked, as she sat the laptop on the armrest, pulled her legs up beside her and used the sleeve of his hoodie to wipe away the tears around her eyes. "Talking is all we ever get to do. I don't need to talk to you…" She sighed, "I want- I need you to... hold me." She said, the lump in her throat causing her words to crack once more as she looked into his eyes.

Leonard tilted his head as he felt a pang at his chest. She was asking for something he just couldn't give her, and he hated that. "Penny… Honey, tell me what happened. Why are you so upset?"

She shook her head slowly as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Does it matter? I already know what you will say when I tell you. I can practically hear every word that you will say to try and make me feel better, but I don't want to hear it." She said then took in a shaky breath and looked down at her hands. "I want… I want you to hug me. I miss that feeling I would get when you would wrap yours arm around me. That's what I need right now..." She shook her head slowly and spoke quietly through her tears. "I miss being able to bury my face in your shoulder while you rub my back." She looked up at him, tears flowing from her eyes. "You know like, when you make those little circles on my shoulder blade with your thumb, or the way you trace your fingers up and down my spine." She smiled at the memory, and then looked back down again. "I miss kissing you, and having you run your hands through my hair... I miss getting to go to bed with you," She turned her head towards her bedroom, "and being able to rest my head on your chest and hearing your heart beat." She turned and looked back at him. "I miss waking up in the morning in your arms, with your breath on my shoulder and your lips on my neck." Penny shook her head and once again, stared at her hands. "I just miss you." She said in a whisper. "I _want_ you."

Leonard was left speechless for a few seconds. He was admittedly a little shocked at, not only her confession, but of all the little things she had mentioned that he hadn't realized she paid attention too. The thing was, all that her repeating that stuff to him made him do, was think about how much he missed all those little things too. "Penny…" He said, turning her attention from her hands to him. "You know I want that too."

"Yeah, I guess." She sniffled, "It just… It sucks. Especially on days like this when everything is just so crappy. I miss having all that stuff and-" Penny stopped herself, the pain in her chest at remembering those things becoming just a little too hard to bear and let out a tearful sigh. "I just miss you, so much."

"I know, I mi-"

"No, Leonard." She snapped. "You don't know. This is _so_ hard sometimes... When you first left, for those couple of days I kept on looking for you, and I still am. I thought it had stopped but it hasn't, it happened again today at work and it hurts Leonard." Penny's eyes dripped with tears as she let in a shaky breath and shook her head.

Leonard stayed silent, completely unsure of what to say to make the situation any better. The silence hung in the air for a minute, as Penny regained her composure. "Sorry." She said quietly. "I didn't mean to snap at you." She wiped her tears, "Sorry for this too." She motioned to her face with her hand. "I know you don't need to hear all this. You have enough going on without me piling all my crap on to you too." She said with a short, tearful laugh.

Leonard smiled in return. "Don't be sorry. You know I prefer it when you tell me about this stuff." He said and she nodded. "Penny, I love you. I hate that this is hurting you so much," He hung his head. "I wish I could make you feel better."

"You are." She said quietly and let out a tired sigh. "This is making me feel a little better." She dropped her head down. "I'm just tired I think." She looked up at him again and smiled. "Honestly, i'm not like this all the time. I haven't gotten this upset since just before you left. It's just- I had like no sleep last night, and then all that crap with the audition happened and my car conked out because I forgot to put gas into it and I had to walk three blocks in the pouring rain." Penny shook her head, "I mean, who forgets to put gas in their car!? Only me!" She said, using her hand for emphasis and then dropped her head. "I guess all the frustration and stuff just… bubbled up." She focused her eyes on his and sighed. "But I do feel better now, a little bit anyway."

"Good." He said with a smile, deciding it best not to question her on what happened at her audition, just in case it upset her again. "You know… you missed something out."

"What?" She frowned.

He smiled again, "When you were talking about the stuff you missed about me." Penny continued to look at him in confusion. "You forgot about my cute little tushy."

Penny smiled and let out a short laugh. "You're right, I miss that too."

Leonard grinned as he looked into her red and tired eyes. "Honey, I think you should get some sleep."

She shook her head. "No, i'm okay, let's just keep talking."

"I thought you didn't want to talk?" He smiled.

"I don't but it's all you have to offer." She said, smiling in return.

Leonard chuckled. "Penny, I need to get to sleep too. I'll call you again in the morning, I promise." He could see her still hesitate. "You have college on Wednesday morning's right?" She nodded. "Okay well, I will call you before you leave and we can talk properly, how does that sound? I will be down at my lab at that time, so I can talk to you down there and show you around it if you want."

Penny grinned, "Really?" He nodded and she caved. "Okay."

"Good, I'll call you in the morning then." He said then smiled, "Oh and, one more thing. Is that another one of my t-shirts you are wearing?"

Penny looked down and smiled. "Yeah. I had to wash your other one, so I took this one to replace it."

Leonard shook his head with short chuckle. "Are there going to be any of my clothes left in my drawer by the time I get back?"

She shrugged and tilted her head. "Probably not, no."

They both shared a quiet laugh, before saying their goodbyes and hanging up.

As soon as he was gone from her screen, Penny let out a sigh and smiled. It was as horrible as usual saying goodbye to him, but the relief she felt from letting herself cry for those few minutes was incredible. She already felt much better again, as all her anger and frustration disappeared.

Penny got up from the sofa, grabbed herself a bottle of water then headed to her room to wash up and go to bed. She curled up under her sheets, with little Ernie wrapped tightly in her embrace, and she fell asleep instantly. About to get one of the most peaceful nights' sleep that she had had in a long time.


	29. An Urgent Phone Call

**An Urgent Phone Call**

Leonard, Karina and Paul were sitting together on the sofa in one of the recreation rooms on the ship, after their work for the day was finished. Leonard and Karina were both trying their best to show Paul how to play Call of Duty on the Playstation, and were having very little luck with it. Paul had apparently never been a big fan of video games, and it was clearly evident in his lacking skills with the joystick. Karina mocked him in a playful manner as he played, which only aggravated him, making him even worse at it and Leonard found himself chuckling as he watched the two of them bicker, before stepping in to cool the situation down.

Over the past two and a half weeks, these two people were the ones he found himself closest to on the ship. Paul more so, simply because he had known him from the first day he arrived and they had immediately bonded. Karina on the other hand was someone he was only really beginning to become friendly with, yet he still felt like he had known her a lot longer than he had. It occurred to him that that was probably because she was so like him in many ways. She enjoyed comic books; he had learned that when she stopped by his room and noticed his books on his desk and instantly started asking him about all sorts of stuff that only avid comic book readers like himself would know or understand. She enjoyed video games, science fiction and had a real love for superheroes. She was smart, not a genius like him, but definitely had an IQ that was higher than the average. She had a keen interest in science, stating to him that before she had fallen in love with all things computer related, she had wanted to delve into the world of physics or chemistry, due to a real passion for blowing things up. She was a nerd, just like him, and they were dragging poor Paul into their world too.

"This bloody thing is broken!" Paul whined when he was shot, again. "He isn't doing what I'm telling him to do."

"He is, you are just telling him the wrong things." Karina said with a laugh.

Leonard was about to interrupt and suggest they play something else that Paul would be a little better at, when his phone buzzed. When he checked it he saw that he had a text from Sheldon, requesting that he go on his laptop, as he had some urgent things he wanted to discuss with him.

"I've gotta go guys." Leonard said, standing up from the sofa. "Try not to kill each other while I'm gone." He chuckled before hurrying to his room.

He was a little concerned about what Sheldon had meant by the urgent things he wanted to discuss, and his head instantly wondered if it had anything to do with Penny. He found himself worrying about her a lot more often now, after her little meltdown a couple of days ago, but he quickly realized that Sheldon's idea of an urgent situation could differ completely from everyone else's. His problem could be something as silly as him being unable to decide whether to make the leap from using Windows 7 to Windows 8 on his PC. He hoped that wasn't the case; it had taken him long enough to adapt to using Windows 7, and Leonard wasn't sure he would be able to stomach the constant complaints of how the new version was obviously not designed for laptops and should be kept solely for use on tablet devices. Leonard shook his head, as he played out many other situations that Sheldon could have deemed urgent, but really weren't, and began to dread the conversation he was about to have.

The funny thing was that he had missed this feeling of dread. He hated to admit it, but he actually missed having these weird and frustrating conversations with Sheldon. He missed hearing his little rants about anything from a television programme, to his work, to insisting that the company that made his favourite cereal had changed something in their ingredients without specifying such changes on the box, because he could taste just a little more corn in his cornflakes, and he was never wrong about such things.

Leonard had even stuck to his bathroom schedule, through nothing other than habit, freaking his roommate out big time. He had tried to explain to Paul about Sheldon and his weird ways, but as soon as he got started he changed his mind, realizing that even if he did manage to successfully describe his best friend's quirks, Paul would simply never understand him or his ways.

So, even as Leonard worried slightly over what his friend was going to be complaining about, he couldn't help but feel a little excited over the prospect of talking to him.

He unlocked his door and headed inside, resisting the urge to throw his keys to the side like he usually would back home, because there was no bowl there to catch them and they would just fall to the floor. Instead, he held on to them and sat them on his desk as he sat down on the chair and opened up his laptop. Almost as soon as he had opened up the Skype icon, his computer began to sing.

"Hello Sheldon." Leonard said once he had answered his call. "Long time, no speak!"

"Hello Leonard." Sheldon said, and then frowned. "And it has hardly been a long time, we spoke three days ago."

"True, but it is longer than usual. So how are you?"

"I don't have time for benign chit chat Leonard. We can go through the tedious process some other time, but right now I am in need of your assistance."

Leonard sighed and shook his head, already wondering what it was that he had said he missed about this guy. "Alright, what is it you want?"

"Well, Amy's birthday is coming up and I am required to take her for dinner. She has requested that I make the night both romantic and intimate."

"Okay, so?"

"So you have to help me."

"_Me_?" Leonard asked with shock. "You want _me_ to help you?"

"Yes. You have endured plenty of these romantic dinners with Penny and she has yet to cast you off again, so you must be doing something right and I want to know what it is so I can replicate that for Amy."

"Why?" Leonard asked with his brow slightly furrowed.

"I told you; because Amy requested it."

"Yeah, but there are plenty of other things she has requested you do, and you haven't done them. So what's changed now?"

Sheldon was a little taken back. He hadn't expected those words to come from his friends mouth, he had simply expected him to agree and help him without question. He thought over the best way to answer that question. _What's changed now?_ _Why did he suddenly feel the need to give Amy just what she had asked for?_ The only answer he could come up with made him uneasy. _Because he wanted to. _

He wanted to give her a night that she would enjoy. He wanted to buy her a gift that would light up her face like it did when he had given her that tiara. He wanted to treat his girlfriend to a wonderful evening. He wanted to do it, because she asked it from him, and the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her. He hated those moments when her face would fall and she would drop her head in a disheartened manner and he wasn't going to let her feel like that on her birthday. He wanted to do it, because he cared about her.

"Well?" Leonard asked on the other side of the laptop, jolting Sheldon from his daydream.

"Nothing has changed Leonard. I am the same person I always have been, and always will be." Sheldon began, although he wondered for a second if he was really being honest, making his eye twitch just a tad. He took a breath and continued, "I simply want to give Amy the birthday dinner that she expects from me, and one that she will enjoy."

"Alright," Leonard said with a little hesitancy in his tone. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, I am fairly confident with most of it. I have already picked out a nice restaurant-"

"Which one?" Leonard interrupted.

"The new Italian one a few blocks away."

"Does it have a place to dance?"

"To dance?" Sheldon asked with surprise. "We are going to dinner Leonard, not a rave."

"Yes, I know." He replied, rolling his eyes. "I don't mean _rave_ dancing; I mean nice, slow, romantic dancing."

"Like a waltz?"

"Yes, like a waltz."

"Hmm." Sheldon replied, leaning back in his chair. "I don't know…I suppose there could be a spot for dancing, but even if there is it will make no difference; I don't dance."

"But it's her birthday!"

"So?"

"So, you should dance with her on her birthday. Especially if there are other people up dancing."

Sheldon frowned, unimpressed with this turn of events. "I hate dancing."

"Yes but this isn't about you is it? It's about Amy, and giving her a special evening."

Sheldon let out a defeated sigh. He had got him there. "Fine, what else?"

"Um…" Leonard said, chewing on his lip as he thought. "You should probably get her flowers and give them to her when you pick her up… Oh and remember and tell her she looks pretty when she answers her door. I know you are pretty much blind to all that stuff but trust me, they love it."

"When_ I_ pick her up?" Sheldon asked, deciding to ignore the rest of his friends statement, because the fact he had said he was 'blind' to Amy's beauty only made him realize just how much he had changed over the past few weeks. He wasn't blind to her beauty anymore, he saw it as if it were being shone down on him like a spotlight.

"Yes, you can't expect _her_ to drive."

"Why not? She usually drives us to our dinner dates."

"But it's her birthday. She will probably want to have a glass of wine or two, and anyway, it is customary for the man to escort his lady to important dinners like this, so you really have no choice."

"But how am I going to take her? I don't drive." Sheldon said and then a thought popped into his mind. "I'll just ask Penny. I'm sure she will take us. Anything else?"

"Not really. Not that I can think of. You know, you really should have asked Raj, he knows this stuff better than I do."

"I never thought of that." He said looking slightly into the distance, and then shrugged, "Oh well, I'm sure what you have told me will suffice. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Just remember and be nice, okay? It's her birthday, you have to treat her like she is the most important woman in the world." Leonard smiled, "So for one night, try not to be the crazy, neurotic and weird Sheldon and be the sweet, nice Sheldon that we all know is buried in there somewhere."

Sheldon frowned. "I am not crazy-"

"I know, your mother had you tested." Leonard said with a sigh. "Hold on, did you get her a gift?"

"Not yet, but I spent a long time searching the internet yesterday for gift ideas and I think I have found the perfect thing."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Why?"

"Because you will tell Penny, and Penny will tell Amy, and it will no longer be a surprise."

"I won't tell her!"

"I wish I could believe that Leonard, I really do." He said, shaking his head.

"Alright." Leonard huffed and sat back in his chair. "And while we are on the subject, can I ask you a favour?"

"As your friend I am obligated to say yes."

"Great. Will you keep an eye on Penny for me?"

Sheldon frowned. "Keep _an eye_ on her?"

"Yeah. She got pretty upset a couple of days ago, I just want to know that she's okay."

"You want me to spy on her?"

"No Sheldon, I want you to pay attention to her. If you see that she looks down or upset, be nice to her and comfort her, since I can't do it."

"Leonard, that is quite a task you are asking of me."

"I know. I know you are horrible at reading social ques and are even worse at being comforting." Leonard sighed and rubbed at his temples. "Just promise me you will try. I worry about her."

"Alright, I will try."

"Thank you. I appreciate it."

Sheldon smiled, "You're welcome." He glanced down at his watch. "Now, I need to go. I have to go and collect Amy's gift. Goodbye Leonard."

"Bye Sheldon." Leonard replied and they both hung up.

As soon as Sheldon was away from his screen, Leonard slumped back into his chair and let out a sigh. He hoped that Sheldon saw the real concern in his eyes as he asked about Penny, and hoped that he really would do his best to keep an eye on her. He was worried about her and he simply wanted to know that she was okay. He smiled as his mind drifted to Sheldon and his pending date with Amy, and although Sheldon had insisted that he had not changed and never would, Leonard could see such a difference in him already. Sheldon had never cared about birthdays. Heck, he had known Leonard for almost a decade and he couldn't think of a single decent birthday gift he had gotten him. He had always hated the process, so much so that he often just dismissed it completely. It was only when Penny had come into their lives that he even opened up to the idea at all. Leonard's smile grew wider. It was funny to think how much that one girl, moving in to the apartment beside theirs, changed their lives so drastically. Not just his, _all_ of theirs.

He glanced at the framed picture, sitting beside his laptop on his desk, of him and Penny. His smile faded and his head dropped slightly, as a stab of pain hit his chest. It was a pain he had been feeling for the past few days, and one that grew with each day that passed. He missed her. He closed his eyes and tried to focus his mind back on to Sheldon and how different he was, just to take that pain away. He thought over the idea of him being romantic, of handing Amy a bouquet of flowers and escorting her to dinner like a gentleman would. He thought about how he had never imagined that Sheldon would care enough about another human being to put his wants and needs second to theirs, because in Sheldon's mind, he always came first.

But that only made him think about how much he missed taking Penny out for dinner, treating her like the princess she was and giving her almost anything she wanted, just to make her happy.

His heart grew heavy once more and he removed his glasses to rub at his eyes and forehead. He stayed like this for a few seconds as he tried to calm the lump growing in his throat, when his room door swung open, making him jump in his chair.

"What the- Oh, hey Paul." He said as he fumbled to put his glasses back on.

"You alright?" He asked. "You've been gone for ages."

"Yeah." He replied, clearing his throat. "I'm fine."

Paul eyed him suspiciously, not believing that he was fine at all, but sensed he probably shouldn't push him to tell him what was bothering him. "We were just about to play pool, you up for a game?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure." Leonard smiled, glad that he had friends around him to keep his mind off of Penny, until tonight at least, when he knew all these thoughts would come back to the surface, and give him that ache again.


	30. A Night of Surprises

**I shouldn't be updating this yet since I have only written half of the next chapter, and that is SO unlike me. It was that Nightclub thing, it pulled me under. I'm giving you it anyway, simply because I can't wait to get the Shamy ball rolling with this date :) I am pretty sure some of you will be able to relate to this chapter, the beginning of it anyway :) enjoy!**

* * *

**A Night of Surprises**

Penny shrieked and put a hand over her mouth. "Oh my God." She said in a shocked whisper. Her eyes widened as she moved her hand from her mouth to grip the armrest of the sofa and sat up on the edge of her seat. "What the- NO!" She exclaimed before putting both hands to her mouth again. She watched the screen in front of her intently, her eyes widening and refusing to blink. She gasped again as she moved forward so she was barely even touching the sofa she was sitting on, her heart pounding rapidly at the scenes unfolding in front of her eyes.

It was Wednesday evening, and she had decided to spend her night on the sofa watching television before her scheduled chat with Leonard later on tonight. It was her turn to stay up late for the call, and she was using the time before it to catch up on the television she had been missing out on lately that was taking up space on her DVR.

The show she had decided to watch first was Game of Thrones, a programme that Leonard had got her hooked on. At first, of course, she wasn't impressed with it. That changed however, when he asked her to join him on a marathon showing of the programme before the new series had started, insisting that she would like it and in the end, the mythical land of Westeros sucked her in, although it could have been the accent that done it. Ever since then, every Monday evening they would sit together, cuddled up on this sofa and watch whatever events unfolded together. It was odd watching it without him, that she had to admit, but before long that was forgotten as her mind became wrapped up in what was happening in front of her.

She moved back and crossed her legs as she sat, open mouthed in shock. "Oh no. No. No. No." She said as she shook her head in disbelief. She gasped again and pulled the blanket that was beside her, over to her face. A few seconds of pure silence passed as the programme ended and the credits rolled on the screen and Penny comprehended what she had just witnessed. "Woah." She said with a breath as she let her hands and blanket fall to her lap. She looked around her, then back to the television. Her first thought, was that she wanted to talk to Leonard about what she had just seen. She glanced at the clock to determine whether it would be an appropriate time to call him, but quickly realized it wasn't as it would be almost three in the morning; definitely not a good time to wake him up, but she had to speak to someone about this, and there was only really one other person she could talk to. She jumped up and ran next door to see Sheldon, her body still pumping with adrenaline.

She knocked once on Leonard and Sheldon's door, before barging in, spotting Sheldon standing up in the middle of the apartment, dressed up in his dark suit, tying his tie around his neck.

"Oh my God Sheldon! Did you see Game of Thrones? I just watched it and- and…" She searched her mind for the right words to describe what she had seen. "OH MY GOD!" She said, putting her hands out in front of her to emphasise her shock.

Sheldon looked Penny up and down and sighed. "First of all, I can't believe you are still insisting on wearing Leonard's clothes. If you bought anywhere _near_ the amount of clothes Amy bought a couple of weeks ago, then I am sure you have plenty of your own to wear. And yes, I saw it. It was quite unexpected."

Penny frowned. "They are comfortable okay? And… how can you be so calm?! Did you not see what- what happened?! It was- It was-"

"Yes, like I just said, I saw it. And yes I was surprised." He said before continuing with the knot in his tie.

"Really? That's all you have to say? You were surprised!?" Penny shook her head, and then relaxed her body and looked at him with disappointment. "Alright well, it's obvious I'm not going to get an excited reaction out of _you_." She said as she walked over and sat on the sofa. "But holy crap on a cracker I wasn't expecting that…" She shook her head again, took a deep breath and then looked up and watched as he patted down his tie and fixed it so it was perfectly in the centre of his neck.

"Look at you all suited up and handsome!" She said with a grin. "Are you looking forward to your dinner with the birthday girl?" She teased.

"I am." He said very matter-of-factly. "We are having Italian, and I always enjoy Italian. It will also be nice to share dinner with her on an evening in which the restaurants are not completely overcrowded."

Penny rolled her eyes, "Wow Sheldon, you really are a romantic!" She said sarcastically.

"I know." He said with a smile, not registering the sarcasm in Penny's tone.

"So what did you get her?" She said before giving him a glare. "You did get her something didn't you?"

"I did."

"Something appropriate?"

"Of course."

Penny narrowed her eyes, reluctant to believe what he was saying. "On your own?"

Sheldon sighed. "Yes, on my own."

"Can I see it? I don't want you giving Amy something crappy for her birthday."

"Even if you saw it now, and determined that it was 'crappy', there is not much we could do about it now is there? Therefore I fail to see the point."

Penny frowned. "Whatever. She'll text me as soon as you give her it anyway." She stuck out her tongue.

Sheldon scrunched up his face at her gesture. "Well, what did _you_ get her?"

"I made her a cute little Penny Blossom and bought her a set of friendship bracelets that she was desperate for us to get," Penny held up her hand to show off the chain on her wrist then grinned mischievously. "Oh, and her own chew toy."

Sheldon's frown deepened. "But she doesn't have a dog."

Penny smiled. "Oh, sweetie." She said with a tilt of the head.

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing. At. All." She said shaking her head. "So when are you leaving?"

"I have to pick her up in twenty minutes." He said after looking at his watch. "Oh, that reminds me, will you drive Amy and I to the restaurant?"

"What? Are you serious?" She asked with shock. "Why can't Amy drive you?"

"Well, Leonard explained to me that on an important date like this, the man should escort the lady, and since I am unable to drive, I thought you would take me to collect her."

"Leonard told you this?"

"Yes, he also said that I should bring her flowers, which I intend to do." He nodded to the kitchen where a good sized bouquet of flowers was sitting in a vase, beside a small closed off bag. "He said that I should pick a fairly intimate setting for dinner, which I have and that I should offer Amy one slow dance, which I will."

Penny smiled, "But I thought you can't dance."

"No Penny, I _can_ dance, I just _choose_ not to. However, social protocol dictates that I offer my girlfriend a dance on her birthday, and so that's what I shall do."

"So you don't _want_ to do it, you are just doing it because you _have_ to?"

"I didn't say that. I said social protocol dictates it, I said nothing about what I would prefer."

"Well, _do_ you want to?"

Sheldon thought it over for a second and then shrugged. "I want to make Amy happy on her birthday, and if a dance will make her happy, then so be it." He said with a wave of his hand.

Penny put a hand to her chest as she looked up at Sheldon with her bottom lip slightly pouted. "Sheldon!" She squealed, "That is so sweet!"

"Alright." He said blankly. "Now, you never answered my question, will you take me?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I can't really say no can I?" She said and then suddenly a thought popped into her mind. "Oooh, does Amy watch Game of Thrones?" She asked excitedly, still desperate to talk to someone about what she had seen.

"No." He replied and she instantly slumped back down on the sofa. "Amy has a gentle soul that doesn't care for the violence shown throughout the programme. Although I distinctively remember she once tried to use one of the more heated moments during it to seduce me. Suffice it to say, it didn't work, and she never watched it again."

Penny smiled, remembering in her own mind all the times she had used those exact moments to seduce Leonard, always getting a much better response from him than Sheldon gave to Amy.

"Why are you smiling? Did I say something amusing?"

"No. I was just remembering something." She shook her head slowly and tried to bite down her grin. "Alright I guess we should go and get the birthday girl then."

Sheldon smiled. "Yes, we should."

Penny then left to put on a pair of 'suitable' shoes and grab her car keys, as Sheldon got his wallet, Amy's gift and flowers, and closed up the apartment.

"Aww Sheldon." Penny said once she re-appeared from her apartment. "You look so cute standing there with those flowers and your little gift. I bet Amy's going to have a tough time keeping her hands off you!" Penny giggled and winked then bounced down the stairs as Sheldon shook his head and followed her down to her car.

As Penny drove, Sheldon found himself becoming uncharacteristically nervous. He wasn't even sure why. He had attended many dinner dates with Amy in the past and although none of them had been as 'romantic' as this one was intended to be, he had done his research on the subject and felt like he was fully prepared for the evening. He had gotten advice from his friends and had even forced himself to read up on how he should act during this 'romantic' date. He knew his gentlemanly obligations. He knew he should open doors for her, pay for the whole evening, and compliment her. He had picked out what he had deemed a perfect gift and was going to arrive at her door with a bouquet of flowers in hand. He was ready and fully prepared for everything that was about to happen, so why was he nervous? There was no logic behind it.

He let out a short sigh, there had been no logic in his actions for a while, especially when it came to her.

"You okay sweetie?" Penny asked with concern, noticing how quiet he was and knowing that a quiet Sheldon was never a good thing.

"Yes." He said with a nod.

Penny took the fact that he said nothing else, to mean that he wasn't in the mood to talk, so she just left him to quietly think over whatever was running through his mind as she drove them to Amy's, and after ten short minutes, they arrived at her apartment building.

* * *

**I'd like to point out at this point that I don't watch Game of Thrones and when I saw all the hysteria over it I just knew I had to put it in somewhere, so I made myself watch that one episode, just to get a feel of how I should write Penny's reaction to it and HOLY CRAP! One episode I watched and I was completely shocked. Did not expect that to happen and I don't even follow the show so God only knows how you guys that do felt! Anyway, I just wanted to share that :) Hoped you liked this little chapter, and as always, let me know if you did :)**


	31. Unexpected Nerves

**Unexpected Nerves**

Sheldon sat in the passenger seat of Penny's car with Amy's flowers in one hand and her gift in the other. His heart was rapidly thumping against his chest with nerves he thought he wouldn't, or shouldn't, have, but he made sure that no evidence of his uncertainty showed on his face. He was staring blankly ahead as he took a few breaths, trying to calm his beating heart before he exited Penny's little red car.

"Sheldon?" Penny said beside him and he sharply turned his head to her. She raised her eyebrows at him, "Well… aren't you going to go get her?"

Sheldon continued to sit there for a few more seconds as he tried to figure out why he was feeling so… different. Why was he so scared of going up there? Was he even scared of going up there, or was it a fear of showing her quite how much he had done for her that stopped him? He wanted her to enjoy her birthday, and he wanted to give her that special romantic evening she had requested, but did he have to go all out like this? Were these flowers really necessary and what about the gift? Would she even like it? Why did he even care? When did Amy become so important that he wanted to do all of this for her? Because in his lifetime he had never wanted to do anything like this for anyone.

A million thoughts ran through his head as he sat there, until something in him told him to stop delaying the process and go up and get her. It didn't matter how long he sat there thinking things over, at some point he would _have_ to go up there, because their dinner reservation was for eight and it was approaching half seven, and if they didn't leave now he would be late and he _hated_ to be late.

"Yes I was just-" He stopped as he tried to think of a reasonable explanation for his lingering, but nothing would come to mind; nothing that she would believe anyway. "I'm going now." He said as he sat his gift on the floor and exited the car with his flowers; a mixture of white roses and lilies, perfectly positioned so not one flower was out of place.

He took his time as he walked up to her apartment, still unable to shake his nerves and wondering the whole walk up there, why those nerves were even there in the first place.

Once he was stood outside her door he took a deep breath, before knocking three times and saying her name, before repeating the process another two times, taking a little comfort in the fact that amongst all this change, some things, like his knock, hadn't, and wouldn't, change. It was an odd thing to take comfort in, even he knew that, but still, that comfort was there, in that knock.

When Amy opened the door she was dressed in a full length, purple flowery dress, with what Sheldon noticed to be one of Penny's Penny Blossoms in her long straight hair, one that he assumed was the gift Penny had given her for her birthday. He also noticed some slight differences in her face, her deep brown eyes looked sharper underneath her dark rimmed glasses, her cheeks had a radiant, flushed look about them and her lips were covered in a slippery gloss. She looked nice, really nice.

Amy was shocked to say the least. She had spent her whole day trying her best not to get her expectations up too high over this date, after all, this _was_ Sheldon, a man who had shown on countless occasions that he was simply hopeless when it came to anything remotely intimate and romantic. And yet here he was, on her doorstep, dressed up to the nines with a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hand, ready to take her out for her birthday.

"Hello Amy." Sheldon said as he handed her the flowers. "Happy birthday."

"Hello Sheldon." Amy replied with a smile, then noticed the bouquet in his hands. She looked at them with awe and then to Sheldon with hopeful eyes. "Are those for me?"

Sheldon's brow furrowed for a second as he wondered who else these flowers could possibly be for, considering he was standing at _her_ door, on _her_ birthday. "Yes, they are." He said with a nod. "After your request for a 'romantic' dinner date I used various resources to collect information on what a romantic dinner would entail. Giving a gift of flowers upon arrival was one of the recommendations, and so here I am, with flowers."

Amy's expression quickly turned from hopefulness to pure joy as she beamed and took the flowers from him. "Oh my God Sheldon! These are beautiful! Thank you!" She said excitedly as she sniffed the lilies and headed back into her apartment to put the flowers into a vase, leaving Sheldon at the front door, unsure of what to do.

He stood there for a few seconds, wondering if he should go inside, but deciding against it because she hadn't invited him in and he didn't want to be rude. So he just stood at her doorstep, with his hands behind his back as he waited on her to return from wherever she had went. He had never given anyone flowers before, so he was completely unsure if that was a reaction that he was supposed to get or if she should have done something different. He understood from the excitement in her voice and the nice words she had spoken that she was pleasantly surprised by his gesture, but the fact that she had seemingly ran away, and left him alone on her doorstep completely confused him. Human nature really did puzzle him sometimes.

A few minutes later Amy arrived at her front door again, still with a beaming smile on her face. "Okay, let's go!"

"Alright." Sheldon said with a nod, pondering whether he should ask her what she was doing or not, before deciding against it, he had more important things to worry about tonight. He then motioned to the stairs, allowing Amy to walk ahead of him, before following her down to the car park.

* * *

Penny was in her car, with her radio up loud, bopping her head and tapping her hands against the steering wheel, while she sang along and danced to the music playing.

"_And it goes like this! Take me by the tongue and I'll know you! Kiss me till you're drunk and I'll show you, all the moves like Jagger. I got the moves like Jagger. I got the mo-ooooo-oves like Jagger!" _Penny closed her eyes and swung her head as she danced, causing her hair to flail around her as she shook her body to the music. "_I don't need to try and control you, look into my eyes and I'll own y-"_ She swung her head to the side and opened her eyes, catching a glimpse of Amy walking out of her apartment building, closely followed by Sheldon.

"OH!" She said excitedly as she turned the music down a little and watched as Sheldon walked to the back passenger seat of the car and opened the door for Amy to get in. She widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows to Amy as she sat down in an effort to express her shock over how Sheldon was acting, and Amy replied by mouthing 'I know! He got me flowers!', opening her mouth and putting her hands out to show her disbelief and shock.

Penny giggled, wriggled her nose and smiled as she turned to Sheldon getting into the car.

"Penny, will you please turn that infuriating music off." He said as he sat down and put his seatbelt on. "The words make no sense and-"

"_So watch and le-earn! I won't show you twice!"_ Penny sang as she turned up the music again and danced in her seat, just as she was before. "_Head to toe, oooh baby run me ri-ight! If I share my secret you're gonna have to keep it!" _Penny stopped singing for a second to laugh at the unimpressed expression on Sheldon's face. "Come on Sheldon, sing with me."

"No." Sheldon replied with a shake of his head.

"Amy?"

Amy grinned and nodded, "_And it goes like this!"_ The girls sang in unison, "_Take me by the tongue and I'll know you, kiss me till you're drunk and I'll show you!"_ Both girls pointed their fingers at Sheldon and danced as he looked at them disapprovingly. "_All the moves like Jagger, I got the moves like Jagger. I got the mo-ooooooo-oves like Jagger! I don't need to try and control you, look into my eyes and ill own you, with the moves like Jagger. I got the moves like Jagger. I got the mo-ooooooo-oves like Jagger!"_

Penny and Amy began to break into laughter as the song reached its end, and once they had calmed down a little Sheldon simply said. "Okay, well, _that_ was disturbing. Now, can we go before we are late for our reservation?"

Penny slowly caught her breath and nodded, as she began to direct the car on to the road and Sheldon turned the radio off. "HEY!" Penny exclaimed, "I was listening to that!"

"Penny, it is well established that listening to loud music whilst driving, slows the reaction time of the driver, and since your skills behind the wheel aren't exactly up to standard as it is, I don't think it is wise to add to the risk of us coming to a fiery vehicular death."

Penny rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. "You know what Sheldon? This isn't your choice, it's Amy's birthday, so she should choose." Penny looked at Amy through her rearview mirror. "Amy, would you like the radio on or off?"

"Wait- Wha-" Sheldon started.

"Amy." Penny said firmly, cutting Sheldon protests off instantly. "It's your choice."

Sheldon looked to Penny with wide eyes, and then to Amy, his face pleading.

"ON!" Amy beamed and Sheldon huffed and shook his head.

"Yes!" Penny hissed with a grin as she turned the music back up and the girls began to sing and dance again, looking to Sheldon every now and again to encourage him to join in, but he simply sat with his arms crossed and his head turned to look out the window.

After a few minutes, Penny pulled up outside Sheldon's desired restaurant, and turned off the radio, much to Sheldon's delight. "Alright guys, have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do!" She said with a laugh.

Sheldon frowned. "Well, that's rather ambiguous. How are we supposed to determine what you would or wouldn't do?"

"Honestly, I don't think there is much she wouldn't do!" Amy said with a giggle.

"HEY!" Penny exclaimed.

"Sorry bestie, but from what I have learned from you during our weekly girls nights-"

"Alright!" Penny said before Amy could go into further detail. "It was just an expression. Now go on, get out of here you two." She grinned. "Enjoy your night Amy, and have her back by twelve Sheldon!" She laughed as he exited the car, carrying Amy's gift with him.

Penny watched from the car as Sheldon, quite reluctantly, held his hand out to Amy, and she grinned as Amy's face lit up at the gesture. She put a hand to her swelling heart as she lovingly watched them enter the restaurant, hand in hand.

There they were, Pasadena's Power Couple, on their first truly romantic dinner date. She felt like she had just dropped her little brother off at his first Prom and was filled with an odd feeling of pride as she saw in that moment just how much Sheldon had grown since the first day she met him. Amy truly had changed him for the better, just a little, and without taking away the qualities that made him who he was. She just hoped that Sheldon stuck to his intentions, and gave her the evening she deserved.

She took in a breath and started her car up again as soon as they had entered the restaurant and were out of sight. She glanced at the time on her dashboard and smiled upon realizing it had only just turned eight o'clock. Not only had she gotten Sheldon and Amy to their date in time, but she still had plenty of time to go home and make a dent in the programmes that were clogging up her DVR, before she called Leonard after midnight and told him all about Game of Thrones, and about his buddy and his big date.


	32. A Special Gift, For a Special Girl

**Some Shamy happenings for you Shamy lovers out there :)**

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**A Special Gift, For a Special Girl.**

To say Amy was shocked by the beautiful restaurant Sheldon had picked for their evening would be nothing short of an understatement. She was stunned, completely taken aback by the gorgeous, dimly lit room. The restaurant was almost full, and yet didn't look overcrowded. It was big enough to fit a good amount of people into it, whilst at the same time being small enough to seem intimate and cosy. The walls were a dark red, and were covered with Italian art, pictures of the country, and some classic black and white photographs of what looked to be the people who owned and built the restaurant.

Amy walked behind Sheldon as they were shown to their seats and smiled at the bag dangling from Sheldon's hand. It was obvious to her that it was her gift he was carrying and the thought excited her, whilst simultaneously making her a little nervous. The fact that he had actually done as she asked and gotten her a gift was a real surprise in itself, but the thought of what was inside that little bag unnerved her. Sheldon had never picked a gift on his own before, so the possibility that what was inside that bag was something he had picked out from the comic book or train store, was one that couldn't be overlooked. Of course she would appreciate the thought and his attempt at serious gift giving, but she had to admit she would be a little disappointed, although not surprised, if she opened that bag up to a little miniature train or superhero figurine.

Amy took a breath and closed her eyes for a second as she walked, in an attempt to get those thoughts out of her mind. It didn't matter what was inside it; he had gotten her something, and that was all that really mattered.

When the dark haired, tanned waiter they were following stopped, it was beside a candlelit table for two at the back of the restaurant. The waiter motioned to the seat as he pulled out Amy's chair and the both of them sat down together. She flashed Sheldon a smile, and he gave her a small one back. She could tell in that smile that part of him was uncomfortable, probably at either the fact that this was a new restaurant and he wasn't familiar with it, or because of the intimate and romantic setting. It was probably a mixture of both, and although she felt bad for him and the fact that he wasn't quite comfortable being here, she couldn't help but practically beam with happiness over how the evening was turning out.

The waiter handed them each a menu, took their drink orders and promised to be back in a few minutes. He spoke in a thick Italian accent, which Amy noticed seemed to relax Sheldon just a little.

"This place is just exquisite Sheldon." Amy said once the waiter was gone.

Sheldon gave her a thin smile, "I'm glad you think so, Amy. I spent a few hours online going through the various reviews it had received since its opening, all of which were full of praise for the location, staff, and the food." He said as he put Amy's gift on the table and began to look through the menu. "I also ordered takeout from here on two occasions to ensure the food was satisfactory before I made a reservation."

Amy's grin grew wider. He really had done his research into the whole thing and she was touched over the amount of effort he had put in. "Well, thank you. I appreciate it."

"You're welcome. And I have to say, it makes me feel much more at ease to see that the place is run by _actual_ Italians and not imposters, unlike the folks over at Luigi's Pizza."

Amy grinned and at that moment the waiter returned with their drinks; an iced tea for Sheldon, and a glass of red wine for Amy. He then took their food order and left, leaving a few moments of silence between the couple as Amy studied her surroundings, and Sheldon found his nerves begin to bubble up again.

He knew what he had to do now; he had to give Amy her gift. It was the perfect time as their food would take some time to be cooked and served, and he certainly didn't want to leave it until the end of the evening and have these little butterflies in his stomach throughout his whole dinner.

He watched Amy for a second as she looked around the restaurant he had chosen and found himself feeling a real sense of satisfaction over the fact he seemed to have managed to pick somewhere to dine for the evening that she liked. He could only hope she would feel the same happiness over his choice of gift.

A huge part of him told him that he had nothing to worry about. He had done the research, he was almost certain that Amy would like what he had in that little bag and even if she wasn't _completely_ happy with it, he knew that she would appreciate the effort he had went through for her. Her good-natured personality wouldn't let her be mad at him after he had gone through so much for her.

To anyone else what he had done wasn't much, but he knew that Amy knew just how difficult this whole thing had been for him. He had trouble enough understanding what romance was, so trying to replicate what Amy would find romantic was certainly difficult, so much so that he had been forced to turn to Leonard for help. _Leonard! _Sheldon shook his head slightly in disbelief over his own actions. Leonard was hardly the most romantic of men, and had proven on several occasions how bad he was at keeping his relationships going. It still baffled him that Leonard had managed to make his relationship with Penny last as long as it had, yet he had to admit the advice he had given him had been good. He couldn't fault it; Amy really seemed to enjoy those flowers and, from what he had learned on the internet, a slow dance with your girlfriend _was_ deemed the social norm on a romantic date such as this.

The thing that bothered him most about giving Amy her gift, was how much he actually _wanted_ her to like it. In the past it hadn't really mattered to him. When he had gotten Penny those assorted gift baskets for Christmas, he wasn't bothered about it being something she particularly liked. He was more interested in it being something that correctly conveyed the status of their relationship, as well as something that was equal in value to what she had gotten him. When he had went shopping for Leonard's birthday gift, he had been solely focused on getting him something that he _needed_ rather than something he actually wanted, or even particularly liked, and he had done the same for Howard and Bernadette's wedding gift. Never did it bother him whether they liked what he had gotten them or not, so why was it suddenly so important now?

Sheldon shook his head again and cleared his throat. He didn't need to go down that thought path again, not now. Now, he had to focus his mind on making sure this evening was how Amy wanted it to be, he could figure out why that was so important to him some other time.

"Amy, I think now would be an appropriate time to give you this." He said as he picked up the little bag and handed it to her.

"Oh!" Amy said with a beaming smile as her attention was turned from the art on the walls, to her boyfriend holding out a small sealed gift bag.

"As you requested, your gift was chosen by me with no outside help, so if you deem it unsatisfactory then-"

"Yes Sheldon, I know, it's my own doing." She said as she began to slowly peel away the tape sealing the bag. "To be honest I'm a little surprised you actually chose something. Part of me was expecting you to pull out some page within the Relationship Agreement that would eliminate your obligation to get me something."

"Yes, well, sadly, no such page exists."

"And it never will." Amy added, before opening up the bag and slipping her hand inside.

The first thing she pulled out was a paper envelope that she tentatively opened, feeling a little apprehensive over what was going to meet her eyes once she opened it. She glanced up at Sheldon, noticing what seemed to be the same apprehension in his eyes and wondered for just a second why that was there; it wasn't something she seen in him very often. He was always very sure of himself, very confident in whatever it was he done. Yet now he was looking between her and the envelope in her hand, anxiously awaiting her response to whatever it was that was inside there and at that moment she knew for certain that he had picked whatever this was, and that he had put more time and effort into it than she had thought he would.

Cautiously, Amy slipped her hand inside and pulled out a pile of rectangular shaped paper cards stapled together. On the front were the words; 'Special Sheldon Cooper Coupons', and a small part of her felt instantly disappointed. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but this was not it. However, when she looked up at Sheldon's face, and saw the pride within it over the gift he had given her, a piece of that disappointment faded.

"Thank you Sheldon." She said with a brief smile and in a monotonous manner that she had tried not to use.

"Aren't you going to look at them?" He asked as he nodded to the pile in her hands.

"I know what they are; one grammar check, one trip to the science mus-"

"No." He interrupted, shaking his head. "These are _Special_ Sheldon Cooper Coupons. Read them."

"Okay." Amy replied with a sigh. She flicked the first page that had the 'Terms and Conditions', which stated that the coupons inside had no expiry date, however only one could be used per month and only on date nights. It also stated that she had to give at least 48 hours notice of her intention to use any one of the coupons, to give the recipient - Dr Cooper - time to prepare. Intrigued, she flicked over the page to read the first coupon.

"One Evening Spent In A Location of Your Choice." She said as she read, looking up to Sheldon after she had finished for some sort of explanation.

"That could be anywhere you desire. Be it my apartment, your apartment, in a restaurant... Wherever you want." He simply said, then nodded towards the coupons in her hand. "The conditions for each individual coupon are written on the back. Please, continue."

Amy looked back down, her hands now slightly shaking with anticipation of what else he possibly could have put in these little coupons. She flicked the page again, "One Evening Watching a Movie of Your Choice." Again, she looked up at Sheldon for more information.

"That could be either at one of our apartments, at the cinema, or one of those crazy drive-in theatres. Again, the choice is yours." He stated, before nodding to her hands again.

"One Extra Date Night." She read once she had turned the page.

"On a day of your choice, but not within the same week as the already established date night."

She turned the page again, "One Weekend Away."

Sheldon nodded. "The 'weekend' meaning we leave on Friday and return on the Sunday."

"We?"

"Yes. These coupons are for only you to give to me. That is stated at the end. No-one else is allowed to have any involvement in any of it. Therefore the weekend will include only the two of us."

Amy smiled and turned the page again. "One Slow Dance." She said slowly, looking up at Sheldon.

"Located in a place of your choice, and will include the desired hand holding and close contact required for such a dance."

She turned the page again, becoming more anxious as each coupon was revealed and her desire to know what was on the next coupon increased. "One Intimate Hug." Amy paused and looked up, "Intimate?"

Sheldon cleared his throat. "Yes. Intimate as in it should last for more than three seconds and will be reciprocated with the same vigour as it is received; I will hug you back." He said, clarifying his statement even although he knew it needed no clarification.

Amy stared into his eyes as her heart began to pound against her chest. He nodded once again to the papers in her hands and she looked down and turned to the last page. "One… Kiss?" She asked incredulously, almost unwilling to believe the words written in front of her.

"Yes. Initiated by myself and the parameters of which will be discussed when you decide to use the coupon."

Amy continued to look at Sheldon in shock, unsure of what to say or do. "Sheldon… I-" She said as she looked down at her slightly trembling hands.

"Amy," He began with a short sigh. "I understand that you feel like our relationship isn't making much progress in the way of intimacy." He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his chair as he anticipated giving her his reasoning behind this gift. He took a breath, and continued. "That is why I made these, and have given the limit of using only one per month. I do want to try and extend our relationship beyond its current status and I feel like whilst this gives you the power to ask things of me, it also gives me sufficient time to prepare, as well as ensuring that it progresses at a gentle speed."

Amy simply continued to stare at him in shock. Never did she think that he would give her something like this and although it was a very simple gift, it was more meaningful than anything else he could have given her.

Sheldon began to panic at her silence. He couldn't read her expression and this was what he was worried about. The gift wasn't good enough. "There is something else in there." He said quickly as he tapped the bag. "I made sure to get you something extra to accommodate for the gifts you gave me a couple of weeks ago, and also as a back-up in case the coupons weren't to your liking."

Amy's brow furrowed for a second as she tried to find the words to tell him she wasn't displeased by the gift he had already given her; she was simply stunned by fact that he was willingly trying to advance their relationship in such a unique way, but those words wouldn't come. Instead she looked down at the bag he had been tapping and slid her hand in again, this time pulling out a square shaped box, covered in purple wrapping. She glanced up at him again and he nodded towards the box with encouragement.

She took a breath and slowly began to peel away the paper, and then opened the box to what looked to be a silver necklace, adorned with a diamond encrusted monkey, dangling by its tail from the chain. Amy couldn't help the soft laugh that escaped her mouth as she took it out and studied it.

"Ah, I knew you would like that one." Sheldon said proudly.

Amy smiled. "I like both of the gifts Sheldon." She finally said, finding her voice again. "Thank you."

"Oh. Good, I'm glad." He replied with a smile that he couldn't hide, relieved that the hardest part of the evening was over.

"Will you put this on me?" Amy asked as she removed the necklace from its box and held it out.

"Of course." He answered with a nod as he got up from his seat and stood behind her, taking the necklace in his hands. He watched as Amy gathered her silky brown hair and held it to the side, exposing to him her long, graceful neck and shoulders. His heart began to race with an all too familiar desire that until a few weeks ago he had never felt, and the chain in his hands began to shake in his trembling fingers. He cleared his throat as he manoeuvred the chain around her neck, doing his best to ignore the citrusy scent of her anti-dandruff shampoo, and the odd, unfamiliar urge within him to place his lips on her slender neck.

He took another deep breath in an attempt to control his beating heart and strange urges, as he clasped the chain together, then stood back and watched as she let her hair fall back down and flashed him a smile.

"Thank you." She said as she admired the dangling monkey on her neck, before putting her coupons back into the gift bag.

"You're welcome." He replied as he sat back down on his chair and his eyes met hers for a few of the longest seconds of his life. He felt his heart begin to furiously beat again, until he was washed over with a sense of relief as their food was brought to the table and the night could finally go back to just being about the dinner and the company. Even the idea of dancing with her at the end of the night didn't entirely unnerve him. He didn't like to do it, but he knew how to and had even danced with her before, therefore he saw no reason to be worried where that was concerned.

He smiled as he glanced down at his food and carefully placed his napkin on his lap. He then looked up again to Amy and thinly smiled at the pure happiness in her features, feeling overwhelmingly satisfied that he had so far succeeded in giving her the night she wanted and more importantly, deserved.

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**Okay, so, I want to point out that I am absolutely horrific at gift giving, so much so that I usually resort to giving people vouchers or money, so trying to find something that someone like Sheldon would give someone was hard! I got the idea for the monkey chain when I saw in the Valentine's episode that he told Alex she liked monkeys, so figured he would go for something monkeyish. And the coupons, were something that I only thought of right before I began writing the chapter and ended up with a life of their own as soon as i started writing it into the story! So yeah, hope you liked it and as always I appreciate the feedback, especially when it comes to these two! :) **


	33. Memories

**First of all, I want to say how glad I am that you all liked what i got Sheldon to give Amy! You dont even wanna know how nervous I was about getting that right! It was a big relief! Now, I also want to say that updates this week might come a little less frequently. I have family coming over to visit so I will be doing a lot more sightseeing (*Sarcastic woop*) and doing a lot less writing. I will still try to get an update out every couple of days, but I can't promise anything! Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter, and although it is all Penny, I think -I hope- it makes all you guys that have been looking for more Lenny stuff happy. There will be more of it after this chapter too, you know I can't leave them alone for too long! **

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**Memories.**

Once Penny arrived home she headed straight to the cupboard and poured herself a glass of wine. She was still buzzing with energy from the events of the day; the shocking ending to the Game of Thrones episode, dropping Sheldon and Amy off at their date, and the car ride back that had been spent with her singing along to the radio, just like she had when Sheldon and Amy were in the car with her. She was finally starting to feel like the days without Leonard were starting to get easier. Letting all her emotions out just over a week ago had been almost therapeutic for her, because she knew no matter how bad it got, and how horrible she felt, she could just talk to him and he would make her feel better; sometimes without even trying to, he just did.

Once her wine glass was full, she kicked off her shoes and headed back to her sofa to curl up underneath her comforter, just like she had been before Game of Thrones caught her attention and she completely dismissed the covers around her, as she sat, literally, on the edge of her seat. She rested her elbow on the armrest with her glass of wine in hand and her blanket wrapped loosely around her body, as she sipped on her wine and flicked through her DVR, trying to decide what to watch next, but nothing seemed to interest her.

She let out a sigh as she threw her remote down and looked around her apartment for some inspiration over what to do to pass the time until Leonard called. She considered taking a nap, since she knew that she wouldn't get to sleep until late tonight and she had the exhausting task of taking Sheldon to work in the morning, but that idea was dismissed almost as quickly as it was thought up. There was too much on her mind right now from the events of the day, and that, coupled with the excitement of speaking to her boyfriend in only a few hours, meant that even if she tried, she wouldn't be able to fall asleep.

She glanced at the clock on her phone which told her it would be three and a half hours until it reached morning in the North Sea and she thought that maybe watching a movie would be the best thing to do as it would kill the most time. She got up and sat down in front of the bookcase where her DVDs were and began to look through them one by one. There were plenty to choose from, from romantic comedies to sad, heart-breaking love stories, but she didn't want to watch any of those. As much as she loved her chick flicks, the idea of watching people fall in love in front of her, even if it was done in a hilarious way, while the one she loved was miles away, was something that just didn't appeal to her at all. And anyway, she had seen every film in her collection at least three times and unlike the guys, she didn't get any joy out of watching the same thing over and over again. What she needed was a movie that she hadn't seen already, that would get her adrenaline pumping and wasn't something that was going to end up making her feel depressed over her situation; something scary or action packed, preferably with some gorgeous leading man to keep her attention, if the story failed to.

"Oh, I know!" She said to herself as she jumped up, grabbed her glass of wine, Leonard's key from her bowl beside the door, and headed across the hall to look through his DVD collection in the hope she would find something to match that description there.

Once she entered the guys' apartment she instinctively threw her keys into the bowl, sat her glass of wine on the coffee table, and headed straight to Leonard's room. As soon as she opened the door to his bedroom and turned on the light, a small smile crept on to her face. She hadn't been in here very often ever since he had left; only venturing in briefly on the occasions when she needed to replace one of his t-shirts or hoodies because the ones she already had were being washed, and on that one evening when she had come to the apartment drunk and stayed the night. Her heart fell as she thought about it. The memory of the morning after that evening was the reason she had tried to stay away. The incredible comfort she had felt in going to sleep surrounded by his stuff, was completely overshadowed by the pain of wakening up in his room, without him beside her. It had been bad enough waking up without him in her own apartment, but opening her eyes to the sight of everything that was his, being flooded with thoughts of him and turning around to a cold, empty space behind her had been so heart wrenching that it had brought tears to her eyes.

But she had missed being here. As she took the time to look at it now, she realized just how much she had missed spending time in this room. She had missed his scent that was still in the air, albeit barely. She took a second to wonder how long it would take for that manly scent to disappear as his stuff continued to be left untouched by him, before pushing it out of her mind as she sat on his bed and moved her fingers over the blue fabric on top of it.

All sorts of thoughts came rushing to the forefront of her mind, remembering all of the times she had spent in this room with him. She thought of all the nights, and mornings, spent under those covers, fooling around like teenagers, joking, laughing, teasing each other until something would happen, be it a fiery look in their eyes or a gentle touch that would spark up their bodies, and all fooling around would be over. After that there was no laughing and joking, as their passion would take over and they would make love without a care to the noise decibels that Sheldon would no doubt complain about in the morning.

Then they would cuddle. If she were to pick one thing she missed most about him, it would definitely be being able to lie in his arms as she drifted off to sleep.

She took in a breath as she forced her mind to move on before she dwelled too much on it, but the memories continued to come as she glanced up at the posters on his wall. She remembered asking him about each one of them, and him explaining the origins and meanings behind them all. She looked at the closet and remembered that time, that seemed so long ago now, that she had helped him pick out an outfit for one of his presentations. She laughed softly as she remembered the horrible corduroy suit that he seemed to love and her shock over seeing that Battlestar Galactica flight suit sitting amongst his outdated clothes, and then wondered if he still kept that little city in a bottle on the top shelf.

Her eyes then hovered over by the window and she was hit instantly with the memory of that time Sheldon had climbed through it in the middle of the night because she had knocked over a lamp and he thought they were being robbed, and then stopped at his Bat Signal on top of his chest of drawers.

She shook her head and let out another soft, quiet laugh, "You're such a nerd Hofstadter." She said quietly to the room and continued to smile as a lot more memories came, but unlike the last time, when those memories of him had all but put her into a state of depression, this time they comforted her. She enjoyed remembering all these little moments that they had shared, because they brought a warmth to her heart that she hadn't really felt since he had left, and although she still had just over three months to wait, she knew that she was going to have all those things again soon.

Penny sat and remisinced for another few minutes, until she forced herself to get back to the reason she was in here in the first place; DVDs. She stood up and headed over by the window, to the cabinet that held his movies, and studied each one before letting out a sigh. She had no idea what most of these movies were about and as she pulled them out and studied the front covers, she became more and more unsure of whether watching any of these would actually keep her up, or if they would just put her to sleep. She was certain they would just confuse her, and she didn't exactly have Leonard here to explain to her what was going on.

Her eyes fell from the DVD collection in front of her, to the boxes underneath it that contained all of his comics. She grinned as she flicked her fingers through a few, and then picked up the box and took it over to the bed. She spent some time looking through the classic adventures of Superman, Spiderman, Captain America, Flash, Thor, and many more, only really glancing at the pictures in each book, until she had gone through all of the boxes and had left a large pile scattered around her.

"Oops." She quietly said as she looked at the mess of comics that covered his bed and then began to pack most of them away, leaving out just a few that had caught her attention so she could take them home with her to read when she had the time. She carefully put his boxes away and headed back out into the living room with a few comics in hand, leaving behind all those little memories.

When she reached the living room, she sat the comics on the coffee table, took a sip of her wine and then sat on Leonard's chair as she wondered what to do now.

As she thought, her eyes drifted over everything around her. She had spent a lot of time in this apartment since Leonard had gone, playing games and eating take-out with the guys when it suited, but she hadn't been in here alone in a while, and now that she was, she was flooded with even more memories. Memories that just like in his bedroom, brought a warmth to her heart. Pictures of them cuddling on his sofa or on his chair, of the make-out sessions that came after, of the petty fights over silly things and of the nerdy games he would get her to play, all filled her head as she studied the room.

She looked towards the kitchen and remembered sitting eating breakfast with him in the morning as Sheldon complained about her always being around. She remembered messing around with him and annoying Sheldon even more as she helped him set out the food at dinner time and helped him clean up afterwards.

She smiled as she thought about him, her cute, nerdy little boyfriend that was far too far away, until her eyes met the television, the games consoles and countless video games that surrounded them. Her grin grew wider as she thought of the times she had played some of those games with him, on his lap, with him explaining how to play it before they played against each other and she beat him over and over again. She would tell him that she had a natural talent when it came to video games, and he would always insist that she was just lucky, or that he had let her win.

At that moment she knew how she wanted to spend this evening. She wanted to play those games, because she could remember how easy it was to get caught up in them and that would pass the time quickly, but also because she wanted to prove to him that she really _did_ have a talent for these games and that she _wasn't_ just lucky, and he _wasn't_ just letting her win.

Penny grinned as she got up and turned on the television, before moving the coffee table out of the way and pulling Leonard's chair over so it was directly in front of it. She sat her glass of wine on the floor beside the chair, turned on the xBox and began looking through all the games on offer for her. She decided against playing Halo - despite it being one of her favourites - Call of Duty or Battlefield, and laughed when she came across LEGO Batman and LEGO Star Wars as they seemed so out of place amongst his bloodthirsty, violent collection. Eventually she decided to play Gears of War, since it was one of the games that she already had a fair understanding of how to play, and because it was one of the ones she always beat him at. She put the game in the console and sat the joypad on the chair, before heading to the kitchen to grab a can of Red Bull and a bag of chips. She sat with her feet up on the chair, her can on one side and her chips on the other and as the game started up, she quickly checked the time on her phone.

"Alright you little Gears of War dude," She mumbled to the game. "We've got two hours to kill, time to kick some ass."

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**One more thing, I have recently made up a twitter account and a tumblr, so yeah, get following that. ;) **

**My twitter name is BigBangMolly and my Tumblr is mollybananahammock**

**Yes, banana hammock. **

**Its a type of speedo.**

**I like speedo's.**

**Just add it. :)**


	34. A Battle Within

**This will be my last update until probably Thursday, maybe Friday. I am off to Dubin again today for a couple of days so wont really have the chance to write properly, but I will do my best to get the next one up as soon as possible :) **

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**A Battle Within**

As Sheldon walked up the stairs to his apartment, he thought over his whole night with Amy. The whole 'romance' thing hadn't been as hard as he had thought it would be. In fact, after his momentary nerves over giving Amy her gifts, he had actually begun to enjoy the meal. It wasn't a surprise really because he always enjoyed his nights with her. She was so like him; they had a similar thought process that allowed the conversations between them to flow in a way it never did with anyone else. It was one of the reasons he cared so much for her, but it was no longer the only reason.

She had a wonderful spirit, a kind heart and was incredibly patient with him. He knew all that, and that was why he felt the need to give her those coupons. He had realized just how desperate she was to move their relationship along during that Dungeons and Dragons night, and he wanted to show her how much he was willing to push himself for her, all the while making sure to do it at a steady pace. He wanted to progress, but he was still somewhat scared of where that would lead.

Amy wasn't the only reason he had enjoyed the night more than he had anticipated. The food had been pleasant, as had the staff, and the slow dance, that he had been informed by Leonard was social protocol for the evening, hadn't been as bad as he had thought it would be. It wasn't exactly enjoyable, he hated dancing and he was sure that was something that would never change, but it wasn't as horrendous as his head had led him to believe it was. It was somewhere in the middle, it was… okay.

He didn't really care for the fact that their hands were clasped together for those full three and a half minutes, or the fact that their bodies were mere inches apart. He didn't care for the fact that his other hand had to be placed on her waist and hers on his back, but he didn't hate it either. It didn't repulse him in the way that sort of contact had in the past. He would rather be without it, but the fact that it was her doing those things, made it bearable.

After their dance, he had relaxed completely again and taken her home by cab. They had considered walking home as it was a nice night, however it was at least a half an hour walk and as it was getting late and they had work in the morning, they decided against it. When they had arrived at Amy's apartment building, he had done the gentlemanly thing and asked the cab driver to wait downstairs as he walked her up to her door, and that was when the next problem arose.

He had said goodbye to Amy, after their dates, at her door many times, yet this time, as they stood in her doorway and she beamed her smile at him as she told him what a wonderful evening she had had and thanked him for it, something happened within him. An urge rose up from the deepest part of his gut and he felt the most unexplainable need to kiss her goodnight. It was much like that feeling he had had when he was looking down at her neck as he clasped her new necklace together. It was completely foreign to him, yet something that just seemed… natural.

At that moment, he didn't care about the germs that would be passed if his lips touched hers. He didn't care about the physical contact that would be shared between them; all he cared about was kissing her, but he suppressed that urge. He wasn't even completely sure why he was doing it anymore; it was just his first reaction when faced with such situations. Every time he had felt the need to become that little bit more intimate, his inner conscience told him that he must control himself; that he was a man of science and he would not be pulled under the spell of some woman. He would tell himself it was too soon, that she was filled with germs that he didn't want to expose himself to, and reminded himself that he hated physical contact.

But those thoughts were constantly belittled by the other voice in his head. The one that told him he would catch more germs from holding her hand than from kissing her, and he had held her hand on plenty occasions without catching some sort of horrible disease. It would tell him that they had known each other for over three years, which was definitely not moving too fast, and that not only had he been close to her, she had hugged him and he hadn't pulled away, he had rubbed vapo rub on her chest and bathed her, so trying to tell himself he hated physical contact was simply nonsensical now. So there really was no logical reason _not_ to kiss her.

Yet he still fought it. He smiled at her, said goodnight and left with a promise to call her the next day, but he didn't leave her with a kiss. He was both glad that he had controlled himself, and full of regret that he had been such a coward. Both parts of him fought a constant battle in his head, and he couldn't help but feel that sooner rather than later, his primal urges and emotional conscience, would win over his analytical brain and compulsive phobias.

Sheldon sighed as he reached the fourth floor as the exhaustion from the long night finally hit him. Sure, he hand enjoyed most of the night, but it had still been hard for him to keep up the whole romance thing. There had been moments where he would have to stop himself from saying what he wanted to, because he knew that it wouldn't be considered 'appropriate dinner talk'. The fact that he had forced himself to suppress his urge to kiss her at the end of the night, as well as the two sides of him battling against each other, had only added to his tiredness. His brain was worn out, and his body was drained of almost all energy.

As he forced his tired eyes to look through his keys to find the one for the front door, he heard a woman's voice from inside his apartment and it startled him. His looked at his door with fear, as his head instantly thought that someone had broken in to his home, until he realized the locks weren't broken and that the more likely explanation, was that the woman on the other side of that door, was Penny.

The thought both relieved and annoyed him. He was glad he hadn't been robbed again, but the thought of having to interact with her wasn't one that pleased him. He just wanted to be left alone for a while. He just wanted some time where he didn't have to jump through all of the hoops that being sociable forced him to. He just wanted to sleep.

He let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head as he put the key in the door and headed inside to be met with a sight he hadn't expected. Penny was sitting in Leonard's chair, directly in front of the television, with empty packets of chips scattered around her, two empty cans of Red Bull, and one half empty glass of wine. She had the xBox controller in hand and the head piece over her hair as she yelled at whoever she was playing with. She obviously hadn't even noticed he had come home as she sat forward with her elbows on her knees while she hit the buttons on the controller and shouted at the screen.

"Penny." He said loudly so she could hear him over her headphones, but she was still so engrossed in the game that she didn't even flinch in his direction. "Penny!" He repeated, a little louder this time.

"Wha-" She began as she quickly turned her head to him and then back to the television. "Oh, hey Sheldon. How was…" She continued to slam on her controller as she spoke. "Your dinner?"

"It was fine. Why are you here?" He asked as he walked past the coffee table, spotting the collection of comic books upon it as he walked past and instantly frowning, before taking a closer look to ensure they weren't his. Thankfully, they weren't. "And why are Leonard's comics on the coffee table?"

"I was…" She began before shifting a little closer to the television. "Oh come on!" She yelled as she let one hand off of the controller and squinted at the television. "What the hell! You were supposed to be covering me!" A few seconds of silence passed. "I don't care if you were taking heat!" She yelled again. "You were supposed to be behind me! I knew I shouldn't have-"

"Penny!" Sheldon said, trying to regain her attention.

"What?!" She snapped back as she turned in the chair to face him, pulling her headphones off of her head and leaving them around her neck.

"The comics, why are they out?" He pointed to the collection on the table.

"I was looking through Leonard's stuff and I kept a few out so I could read them." She replied with a frown and a dismissive wave, unsure of why he even cared.

Sheldon shook his head. Leonard wouldn't be happy. Sure, he wasn't as obsessive about having his collection in order as he was, but he definitely had a system that Penny more than likely just ruined. He thought over telling her this, but he knew it would just prolong the conversation and really, all he wanted was to be alone.

"Fine. Just make sure you clean this place up before you leave." He said as he began to walk down the corridor to his bedroom.

"Wait, where are you going?" She asked as her eyes followed him down the hall.

"To bed." He replied, motioning to his room with his hand.

"Oh... don't you want to play?" She asked as she reached for the remaining controller that was down beside the console. "I could use the help. This dude I'm playing with couldn't shoot a wall if he was standing right in front of it."

Sheldon thought it over for a second, the offer was tempting. He certainly enjoyed playing what looked to be Gears of War, and it would be a nice change to be playing _with_ her than against her, because at least he wouldn't have the embarrassment of being beaten by a girl at one of his own games. Plus, the idea of becoming immersed in the video game world for a while, allowing him to completely forget the battles he was fighting inside himself sounded pretty appealing, but he decided against it. It was already a late weekday night for him as it was nearing half ten, and he had work in the morning; work that _she_ was supposed to take him to. He sighed inwardly as he realized that the fact that Penny was staying up late meant that she would be extra grumpy in the morning and he definitely didn't want to be tired when he had to deal with that.

"No." He replied, shaking his head slightly. "Maybe some other night. Goodnight Penny." He turned around, then stopped and turned back. "Oh, and keep the noise decibels to a minimum, or else I will be forced to stop you from coming over here."

"Yeah alright." She replied, rolling her eyes. She watched him for another second as he began to walk towards his bedroom with his shoulders slightly slumped. "Sheldon, are you o-" Penny's words were cut off by the sounds of gun shots and explosions from the television, and frantic yelling through her headphones. "Aw crap!" She lifted up the headphones around her neck, "Sorry guys I got distracted." She said into the little mike, before quickly turning back to Sheldon, "Goodnight Sheldon. I promise I'll keep it down."

"Thank you." Sheldon replied as he opened his door and went to bed, letting out a huge sigh of relief as soon as his door was closed behind him and he was alone in his bedroom. He no longer had to adapt his actions to fit social protocol. He no longer had to pretend that he was enjoying doing the stuff that he really didn't, and he no longer had to fight with himself over what he should and shouldn't do around Amy. He knew he had to figure out what was happening to him and why. He knew he had to face these emotions he was feeling and give them the release they needed, instead of letting them eat him up inside, but that was something he could do later. Right now, he just wanted to sleep.

* * *

Penny continued to play her game, once again becoming completely engrossed in it, but remembering to keep her yelling to a minimum, although it was hard.

After about another half an hour of playing, her phone buzzed on the coffee table behind her and she groaned. She was in the middle of an intense battle, and didn't want to abandon it just for a text, until something in her head clicked and she realized that the only person texting her at this time, would be Leonard.

At that moment she put her controller down, took off her headset, and headed over to collect her phone, noticing instantly that she had been right; it was Leonard. She slid the unlock button and read what it was he wanted to say.

_Hey honey, I'm just awake and going for a shower. I'll call you in about half an hour. Xx_

Penny smiled at her screen. This had become a regular occurrence on the nights that she was staying up late to wait on his call. It was his way of making sure she was awake and logged in to Skype when he rang. He would always give at least half an hours' notice, telling her he was either going to get breakfast, to get dressed or was going for a shower.

She replied quickly with only a smiley face, because all he really needed to see was that she was still up, and she got about putting everything away. As she collected all her empty chip packets and cans, her mind focused on those words he had written. _He was going for a shower. _It was a thought that made her lips curl into a smile and her heart race, and not unlike earlier, her mind was filled with memories. Memories of all the times she had been there with him as he showered. Her body tingled as she thought about the both of them, standing naked in her bathtub as the hot water sprayed down over them…

Penny took a deep breath and shook her head once, forcing herself to stop thinking about those things as this really wasn't the best time for those kinds of thoughts. She cleared her throat, picked up her almost empty wine glass and finished off the remaining drops inside it, before taking it to the kitchen and beginning to put away the rest of the stuff she had used.

Those thoughts still plagued her however. Her body went into autopilot, putting everything back where it belonged, as her mind went into overdrive, thinking about the fact that right now, miles and miles and miles away, Leonard was standing inside the shower as hot water poured down over his body. She imagined those little droplets of water skimming down his skin as he lathered himself up with soap, spreading the suds all over his bare chest and arms, before running his hands through his hair and putting his head under the running water. She imagined herself there with him, running her soapy hands all over his muscles, down his back and over that cute little tushy she adored. She imagined running her own hands through his wet curls, pushing her soaking wet body up against his and kissing him as the hot, steaming water beat down over them.

Penny took another breath as she sat down on Leonard's chair, which she noticed now had been moved back to its original spot, along with everything else she had used that night. She couldn't even remember putting it all away; she had been so absorbed in her fantasy that she had barely felt time, or herself, move.

She sat back in the chair as her heart continued to race and she once again forced those thoughts away. It was hard enough being without him, but putting those kinds of things into her head wouldn't make sleeping alone tonight any easier. She cleared her throat again, stood up and grabbed the comics she had borrowed, before getting her keys from the little bowl, turning off the lights and heading back home.

She headed straight to her bedroom, turning her laptop on as she sat up in her bed and waited the last few minutes until Leonard called.

When the laptop rang, she took one last deep breath and quickly ran her hand through her hair before answering the call.

Her eyes were met with his and she smiled as she took in the gorgeous man in front of her. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was because of what had been going through her mind only moments ago, maybe it was because it was late in the evening and she wanted what she had gone so long without; whatever it was, she couldn't help but think, as she looked at his brown eyes under those black frames, his unshaven jaw and his damp curly hair, that she couldn't remember a time when he had looked so good, and she knew then, that this late night conversation was going to be a difficult one to get through with these kinds of thoughts in her head.


	35. The Tim Tam Suck

**Okay guys sorry for the delay with this, but i hope you forgive me due to the extra long chapter i have given you :) It's all Lenny, and wasn't intended to be this long, but as soon as i started writing it, i found it hard to stop. Anyway hope you enjoy it and i should, hopefully, be back to updating every couple of days. :)**

* * *

**The Tim Tam Suck**

Penny spent the first half an hour or so, simply staring into the screen as Leonard told her what he had been up to since they last spoke only a day ago. She thought it had been a good idea to start up some small talk to get her mind off of all the things she had just been thinking about, but as it turned out, it was probably the worst thing she could have done.

Leonard's days didn't consist of the boring, mundane stuff hers did. He didn't have stories of waiting tables, pouring drinks or driving Sheldon around. His stories were filled with talk of hydrodynamics, high powered lasers, electrons, Black Holes and plasma – stuff that she had barely any understanding of - yet stuff that simply mesmerized her.

Penny lay on her side, propped up on her elbow in front of her laptop on the bed, and stared at him intently as he talked so passionately about the work he was doing on that ship. Every word of it captivated her. As she watched his lips speak words she didn't quite understand, she melted inside, just like she always did.

This only happened with him. It was only when _he_ spoke these words she would feel her body tingle and her heart skip a beat. It never happened with any of the other guys. There had been plenty of times that she had been sitting amongst the four of them, listening to them talk about their science stuff, but not once had Raj, Howard or Sheldon's words had the effect on her that Leonard's did.

There were smart guys on the programmes that Leonard watched, that spoke about the same sorts of stuff as he did with the same intense passion, but none of them had made her feel this way and neither had that good-looking – yet morally damaged – world class physicist, David Underhill. They were just words when the others spoke them, but they were something much more than that when Leonard did. It was only him, she just didn't know why.

Maybe it was the way he spoke with such enthusiasm, maybe it was the way his eyes lit up when he got really excited about whatever it was he was saying. Maybe it was the way his lips moved over each complicated phrase, or maybe it was just the way his voice made those words, as confusing as they were to her, seem like they were the simplest things in the world.

For the second time that day, Penny found herself zoning out. She didn't take in much that was happening, or anything of what he was saying. As soon as the words he spoke entered her mind - they were gone. She just watched dreamily as his lips moved and his eyes twinkled, until the sound of him saying her name rather abruptly, brought her out of it.

"Hmm," She said as she blinked a few times, sat her head up to focus her attention and cleared her throat, "Yeah?"

Leonard smiled. "I said, how was your day?" He said before shaking his head a little. "Were you even listening to me?"

"What?" Penny replied with pretend shock then smiled. "Of course I was listening."

"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his stomach. "What was I saying then?"

"Umm…" She began as she ran her hand through her hair, before sitting up on her elbow again. "You know, the usual; lasers…" She smiled as she tried to think of things to say, "black holes, gravity… All that sort of science stuff."

Leonard chuckled, knowing that she hadn't been taking in what he was saying, as much as she tried to pretend she had. "I can't believe you weren't listening to me." He shook his head as he let his hands fall back on to his lap. "Why did you even ask how my day was if you didn't want to know?"

"I did!" She grinned, "I do want to know. I _was_ listening... It's just…" Penny trailed off as she tried to think of the best way of describing what he done to her, without putting them both into a situation that would be hard to fix with both of them being so far away from one another.

"It's just what?"

Penny let out a sigh and gave him a small smile. "You." She said quietly as she traced a finger over her bed sheets. "It's hard to listen to you talk about your work and not get… I dunno – _lost_ in it."

Leonard frowned, and she continued to give him that small smile. She knew he didn't quite get what she had meant yet - his naive mind going to the innocent explanations first.

"What do you mean lost in it? Like… confused – lost?"

Penny let out a small laugh and shook her head. "No – well, kinda – I didn't really understand it, but that's not what I meant…" Penny stopped and looked into his puzzled eyes for just a second, before letting out another sigh and biting the inside of her lip. "It turns me on Leonard. _You're_ turning me on."

Leonard's eyes widened. "Oh." He said then smiled as he remembered that time she had visited his lab, and wondered how he had managed to forget how excited she had become when he had explained the Holographic Principle and the Theory of Relativity. It made sense that she would get just as excited as he explained all the work he was doing here.

"So I _was_ listening." She grinned, "It's just that while I was listening I was thinking about… other stuff."

"What kinds of other stuff?" Leonard instantly asked as he stared into her twinkling eyes.

Penny stared back for a long few seconds as she chewed on the inside of her lip. She thought about telling him how she had fantasized about him being in the shower, and about having his wet naked body close to hers. She thought about telling him that as he had spoken to her about his work, she had imagined those moving lips being pressed up against her skin, and running her hands through his damp hair. She took a deep breath and shook her head a little. "Sweetie, you don't wanna know."

His immediate thought was, '_yes I do',_ but he quickly figured out why she was right. It was already becoming hard enough to get through the days without thinking of her, and at night when he was alone in his bed those thoughts would turn to what she was no doubt thinking of right now. He knew that if she told him whatever it was she was thinking, it would be on his mind all day, and all night, and probably through to the next day too. "Yeah." He said with a sigh. "You're probably right."

Penny gave him another small smile, and neither of them spoke for a few long, intense seconds; each of them still dreamily thinking over everything that had just been said.

Penny tried hard to think of something to say that would get their minds completely off of how badly she wanted him, and on to something completely innocent, but nothing came to mind. Everything she thought of had a sultry undertone that could, especially in her current state, be read as something slightly dirty. Whether it was just the words she said or the little memories that would come with each topic, there was always something that would bring her back to sex.

"OH!" She said excitedly as something popped into her mind and she sat up with her back to the wall and her laptop on her legs. "I have to tell you about Sheldon and his date with Amy."

Leonard's face broke into a wide grin. He had felt that moment of sexual tension in the air. He had sensed just how excited she was, simply by the look in her eyes, and looking at her like that had brought out the same excitement in him, so he was massively relieved when the subject of Sheldon came up; definitely a subject that would tear their minds away from anything remotely sexual.

"Oh yeah," He cleared his throat. "How was he?"

"Oh my God Leonard, he was so cute." She cooed. "He had his little suit on and his flowers and his little gift." She laughed.

"Ahh, he got the flowers then." He nodded. "I wasn't sure if he was going to."

"Yeah he told me that was your idea." She smiled. "I still can't believe he came to you for advice on dating."

"HEY!" Leonard exclaimed, mouth wide in pretend shock. "I think you are forgetting that I'm the romance ninja." He shrugged. "I know this stuff."

Penny giggled and stared into the screen again as thoughts of that Valentine's Day, when the whole 'romance ninja' thing had been born, filled her head, but when usually her thoughts of that day centred around the promise she had made to him, tonight they went instantly to the fun they had in the bedroom after it. She smiled. "I didn't mean it like _that_, I just meant like… it's Sheldon! He never goes to anyone for advice!"

"Mmm, no, that's not true," He shook his head. "He has come to me for advice before, this is just the first time he has ever listened to me." He chuckled. "So... you never answered me before; how was your day?"

Penny shrugged as she took a sip out of the bottle of water on her nightstand. "It was okay. I had class this morning." She said with a grin as she sat her bottle down. She always enjoyed talking about college, especially with him. "We've just started a topic on American History. Starting with how we became an independent country and how the laws and constitutions were made. It's pretty interesting actually, and it'll be cool being able to celebrate Fourth of July this year and have a good idea of what I'm celebrating." She laughed.

"Did you not learn about it when you were a kid?"

"Hmm, a little bit, but I didn't really pay much attention to it." She shrugged. "We're getting tested at the end of next month, so I _need_ to pay attention this time." She smiled as she thought over the rest of her day. "OH!" She said excitedly. "And I watched Game of Thrones! Oh my God, it was awesome! Did you see it? What did you think when-"

"BABABAHH!" Leonard interrupted as he waved his hand out in a 'stop' motion. "I haven't seen it yet, don't spoil it for me."

"Oh no way!" She replied with disappointment. "I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it! Why haven't you watched it?"

"It hasn't aired in Britain yet, and it's British television we get on the ship. I think it's on next week though, so don't tell me what happened!" He grinned. "I've had enough trouble trying to stop Karina from telling me."

Penny felt a slight jab at her stomach. She hated it when he spoke about her, even although it was always innocent and he never said anything about her that would give her anything to worry about, she still didn't like it. "Oh." She said with a nod and a determination not to let him see how bothered she was about him talking about her. "How does she know?"

"She's read the books." He shrugged. "As soon as we finished watching the last episode she started bugging me with little teasers of what's going to happen in the next one." He chuckled.

Penny suppressed a frown. That one hurt a little more. To know that he was watching the things he would usually watch with her, with some other girl, was difficult. It was like he was replacing her and it made her sick to her stomach.

"You know, I think you would like her." Leonard continued, oblivious to the effect his words were having on his girlfriend.

"Really?" She replied blankly, hoping that he got the hint that this was a subject she had no interest in talking about.

"Yeah, she's pretty cool. Not cool like you," He chuckled, "Cool in a nerdy way, like me."

Penny nodded slowly with her lips pursed together.

"She taught me this thing." He chuckled. "Hold on and I'll show you."

Penny sighed as she watched him get up and disappear from the screen, before returning a few minutes later with a steaming cup of something in one hand and something else in the other. She had less than no interest in learning whatever it was this girl had shown him, but she couldn't ignore the excitement in his face as he started to speak about it. She tried to listen to him talk, but her mind flooded with thoughts of this girl Karina, and gradually she became more and more annoyed at both him for talking about her, and Karina, for simply being around him.

She wondered what she looked like and how close they were, if she was attracted to him and if she was just as smart as him. She thought about how she quite possibly had another Alex to deal with, and she really didn't want that. She hated this insecure feeling and the distrust it brought with it.

Leonard was the one person she knew she trusted most in this world, yet this insecurity brought doubt when usually there was none, and she despised the fact that this girl was bringing it out.

Leonard continued to talk, telling Penny about how the subject of what Karina had showed him was brought up, completely unaware of how annoyed she was becoming, and that she was barely even listening to what he was saying. "… and then she showed me how to do the Tim Tam suck-"

Penny's eyes widened, "She did WHAT?!" She exclaimed, her distracted mind only hearing a few scattered words of his sentence and putting them together in the worst way possible.

Leonard was taken aback by her sudden abruptness. "The Tim Tam suck-"

"What the _hell_ is that?!" She exclaimed as her mind flooded with the worst thoughts imaginable.

He frowned. "Penny, why are you freaking out?"

"Why am I-" Penny stopped, "_Oh I don't know_." She replied sarcastically, "Maybe because some Australian chick is showing my boyfriend how to _suck_ things!" Penny felt her blood boil. Somewhere deep down she knew she was overreacting, she knew she had taken things the wrong way, but his insistence on talking about her during their conversations annoyed her so much that she couldn't back down.

"Penny it's a-"

"Is she pretty?" She interuppted.

"What?" He asked with shock.

"Is she pretty? Do you like her? Is that why you keep on bringing her up when we talk."

"What? No!" Leonard began to panic a little. He hadn't even realized he spoke of her that much, in fact, he was sure that he didn't and Penny was simply overreacting. He had to calm her down before the whole thing escalated and they ended up yelling at each other because neither of them wanted that to happen, he was sure of it. "She's just a _friend_ Penny. We have a lot in common so we get along pretty well."

Penny ignored his comment and continued with the insecure thoughts she had been having. "Was she hitting on you?"

"Penny-" Leonard said with a desperate sigh.

"Was she?!"

"No!" He exclaimed, feeling himself begin to get a little angry at the accusations she was making.

"Yeah right." Penny shook her head. "Why else would she teach you that… that suck thing?!"

Leonard had to stop a small smile from appearing on his lips. She had no idea what she was talking about and he knew this argument could be so easily fixed if she would just let him explain, but she wasn't giving him the chance to, so he decided to get straight to the point. "It's a biscuit Penny."

"What?" She frowned.

"A Tim Tam; It's a biscuit." He stated again. "You're freaking out over nothing."

Penny felt slightly foolish, but only for a second. She wasn't going to back down yet, she was too stubborn for that. "Really? You think I'm freaking out over _nothing_!?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"Okay, so if I told you that my friend Cole - you know the guy with the really hot British accent - came over here yesterday and taught me some really cool way of eating a banana, you wouldn't be a _little_ angry?"

Leonard stayed quiet for a few seconds as he began to see why she was so angry, but still felt a slight stubborn urge to stand his ground. "... No." He replied.

"You're lying." She said instantly.

"Fine." Leonard sighed. "Okay, maybe I would but… it's different."

"How?"

"Because… She wasn't hitting on me when she was doing it. It's _just_ a biscuit!"

"A banana is _just_ a fruit." She replied defiantly.

"Yeah a suggestive fruit! There's nothing even mildly erotic about what she was showing me, it was completely innocent!" Leonard sat back in his chair, sighed and rubbed his temples under his glasses. He really hated arguing with her. He moved his hand away from his temples and fixed his glasses back on to his head, before staring down the screen at her. "Don't you trust me?"

Penny looked into his eyes and felt her anger begin to slowly disappear. It was something about the way he had asked her that question; a certain sadness in his voice that she heard that gave her an instant need to make things right again. "Of course I do Leonard…" She said in a much softer tone than before as she looked down at her hands. "It's her and these Tim Tams I don't trust." She glanced up at him, and gave him a mere hint of a smile.

Leonard returned that smile with relief that she had seemingly calmed down. "Penny she wasn't hitting on me." He was glad when she gave a small nod to that sentence; glad that the silly fight was over almost as quickly as it had started. It was the first time they had argued since he had been away and he truly hated that he couldn;t give her any physical reassurance that she was the one he loved. All he wanted to do was put a hand to her head and pull her close to his chest, holding her until she completely forgot about what they had even been arguing about in the first place.

He sighed at the ache in his chest and thought of the only other way he was able to give her that reassurance. "Look, let me show you what she showed me and you can see how it is nothing like what you think it is." He then picked up a chocolate covered biscuit and showed her it, before biting a bit off each end and putting the bottom half into his cup of coffee. He then sucked the coffee out of the cup, using the biscuit like a straw, before stuffing the biscuit in his mouth and looked back up at her. "See?" He said as he chewed the food, swallowed, wiped his mouth and smiled. "It's not exactly the sexiest thing in the world." He chuckled.

Penny held back a smile, her stubborn nature not quite ready to completely back down yet. "You shouldn't be eating chocolate." She said quietly.

"It's only a little bit, I'll be okay." Leonard smiled warmly at her. "So, you're not mad anymore?"

"No, I'm not mad." Penny smiled back, as she moved the laptop down the bed, and lay on her stomach with her head resting in her hand. "I wasn't _mad_ anyway, I was just kind of shocked. I didn't know what that thing was… it could have been anything. I thought she was using some Australian move on you."

"Well she wasn't. And even if she was, she wouldn't have gotten very far." Leonard grinned as he moved himself a little closer to the laptop screen. "You see there's this girl that I am _just_ crazy about, and I'm pretty sure there's not another woman in this world that would be able to compare to her."

Penny's heart skipped a beat and in that second, all thoughts of Karina and those 'Tim Tam sucks' were gone, and replaced with one thought of how adorable this man - her man - was. "Yeah?" She replied with an eyebrow raised. "She must be something pretty special then."

"Oh she is." He nodded as he put an elbow on his desk and rested his cheek in his fist. "She has the most amazing big green eyes and an incredible smile." Leonard grinned into the screen. "She's a very sweet and loyal woman with a heart of pure Gold... She's funny, and smart in ways that I will never be." He spotted Penny drop her head sheepishly and giggle, causing her hair to fall in front of her. "She has the most beautiful silky, golden blonde hair that should, if she is still using the same shampoo, smell like apples."

Penny lifted her head back up to look at him, running a hand through her hair to put it back behind her, and grinned. At almost every point she had wanted to hit him back with something she loved about him, but he never gave her a chance too.

"She is a real pain in the ass sometimes." He said and chuckled when her jaw dropped. "She knows how to push my buttons and has a great time making fun of me for all my nerdy things…" He stopped, gave her a sly grin and raised an eyebrow. "But she gets away with it because this girl is _unbelievably_ sexy."

Penny's cheeks flushed as her heart rate quickened. "Wow. You must be some guy to be able to get a girl like that."

Leonard grinned and shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I must be. I tend to just think I got _very_ lucky." He chuckled.

Penny's face became serious as she stared at him intently and shook her head slowly. "You didn't just get lucky baby, you're amazing… I think _I_ got lucky..." She bit her lip as she kept her eyes locked on his, "I love you, and I wish that I was there with you to be able to show you just how much."

As soon as she said it she wished she hadn't, because it caused a heat to spread throughout her body; a heat that she couldn't ignore.

She took in a deep breath and let it out as she spoke. "_God_ I miss you Leonard."

"I miss you too." He replied and a silence washed over them again as they stared at each other, conveying all the passion they were feeling for one another in just that one look, until someone knocking on Leonard's door snapped them out of it.

Penny looked on as he spoke to someone off screen and prayed that he didn't have to go. Not yet, not when she was so close to spilling just how much she was yearning for him, and hopefully have him find some way of relieving that need, but her prayers weren't answered.

"Honey, I have to go. There's a problem with one of the lasers and I have to go check it out." He said with the same disappointment in his voice, that she felt running through her body.

She considered showing this disappointment by asking why he had to go, why someone else couldn't fix it and why he couldn't just stay and talk to her for a little bit longer. But she knew she couldn't, or shouldn't do that. He was on that ship to work, and it had already gone past nine o'clock in the North Sea, which meant he probably should have started working a while ago and their talk was delaying him.

She took in a deep breath, "Okay. I should probably go to sleep now anyway." She replied, knowing that sleep wasn't going to come that easily tonight.

"Alright, I'll speak to you again tomorrow, yeah?" He said and she nodded. "Good. Bye honey, I love you."

Penny grinned. "I love you too. Bye." She said and in the next second their screens were closed.

Leonard took a few breaths, and thought for a second about how badly he needed a cold shower, or just a really long one. Every day it got harder to be without her. It got harder to see her on that screen without feeling this desire for her, and she didn't make it any easier for him by always being so beautiful, even when she was yelling at him he couldn't stop himself from thinking about how good she looked. He quickly cleared his throat and grabbed his stuff, forcing himself to get his head back into work mode, and off of his gorgeous girlfriend that was going to be alone in bed tonight when he should be there with her, and headed out to help the other scientists with the faulty equipment.

Penny lay on her bed with her laptop shut over and her heart still racing. She tried taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down, but Leonard's voice still rung in her ear, along with the pictures of him in her mind. There was only one thing she could do to give herself even a chance of being able to fall asleep tonight.

Penny put her laptop on the floor and headed to sift through her closet, mumbling the whole way there. "Alright Mr Chew Toy, where the hell are you, it's time to come out and play."

* * *

**Oh and i probably should just say that Nogravitasatall gave me the information of what a Tim Tam suck was. I had never heard of it before, but apprently its a thing over in Australia so any Australians reading should hopefully have heard of it, i didn't just make it up! I think it's more commonly known as a tim tam slam, but that wouldn't of been as much fun to write about! haha**


	36. Girl Time

**Girl Time**

"So Amy, tell us all about your big date with Sheldon." Penny said as she handed Amy and Bernadette their glasses of wine from behind the bar at The Cheesecake Factory.

It was Friday night, but the bar was unusually quiet, so she had texted the girls to come down and keep her company as she soldiered through the rest of her shift which ended at nine.

Due to her work schedule, she hadn't seen the girls much and really wanted – if not, needed – some proper girl time. She was sure the other girls wanted it just as much as she did, especially Amy, who no doubt wanted to spill all the details of her birthday dinner with Sheldon.

"It was ah-mazing!" Amy beamed after she took her first sip of wine, while Penny and Bernadette grinned and waited for her to go into more detail. "He was very good the whole night! He didn't mention a single thing about trains or comic books or superheroes! Not even once!"

Penny and Bernadette giggled, as Bernie sipped on her wine and Penny sat down on one of the barstools behind the bar. "You still didn't tell us what he got you." Bernadette said.

"Yeah, Amy. Tell us!" Penny said excitedly, "Sheldon wouldn't even give me a hint to what he got you! And I was expecting a text from you as soon as he gave you it, but I didn't get one!" She pouted her bottom lip.

Amy grinned as she pulled her necklace out from under her shirt and they shared a laugh as they looked at the little monkey hanging from the chain.

Amy had wondered whether to let them know about what she considered to be the most important gift from Sheldon; the coupons, but in the end decided against it.

On one hand, she really wanted to get excited with them over the fact that Sheldon was making an attempt to further their relationship, but on the other hand, this was something she wanted to keep between the two of them. She could tell that although he was making a good attempt at becoming more intimate with her, he was still very uncomfortable with the whole idea of it and she felt like she owed it to Sheldon, and herself, to keep this between them until he was comfortable enough with it for everyone to know.

She also knew that the girls would, unintentionally, put pressure on her by asking her when she was going to start using them, and the truth was she really didn't know. What she really wanted was to take her time, and ease Sheldon, as much as herself, into the whole thing.

"That is sparkly!" Penny said as she moved the little monkey around, making the encrusted diamonds sparkle in the light.

"And so cute!" Bernadette added.

"I know! It will go nicely with my tiara!" Amy beamed as she let the girls admire her newest piece of jewellery from her boyfriend. "All I need now is to be a maid of honour again so I can have an appropriate setting to wear them both together." Amy said as she casually sipped her wine and looked in Penny's direction.

Penny laughed and nodded, until she realized that Amy was directing her comment towards her and she became a little flustered as she giggled nervously. "Amy, we were talking about you," She said as she shifted her gaze from Amy's eyes and cleared her throat. "Let's keep it that way."

"Oh come on Penny," Bernadette said with a wide smile, "You and Leonard have been together for a while now."

"Yeah, so?" Penny replied.

"So, you must have thought about it, at least a little!"

Penny stood up from the bar stool and began to polish some wine glasses, for no other reason than to give her something to fidget with as she directed her way through the awkward conversation. "Mm. Not really." She shrugged.

"Never?" Amy asked, slightly shocked. "I've thought about marrying Sheldon plenty of times, although admittedly, my thoughts of it are often directed towards the idea that after it, he would be obliged to follow the tradition of post marital coitus."

Penny wriggled her nose and tilted her head, before moving back to concentrating on polishing her glass. "Anyway..." She said as she turned to put the clean glass away, "Oh, did Sheldon give you your slow dance last night?" She asked as she made her way back to her stool, desperate to move the conversation away from marriage and back to something she was a lot more comfortable talking about.

"Yes he did." Amy smiled. "How did you know about that?"

"Sheldon told me he was going to do it, apparently it was 'social protocol'."

"Oh." Amy nodded. "Well yes he did dance with me at the end of the evening." She grinned as her mind floated off to that night only a couple of days ago. "It was so romantic. I felt like I was in the middle of a movie! He was so sweet and attentive; I've really never seen him act that way before... I really felt like this time he was doing these things because he wanted to, not because he had to, even although he thought he had to." Amy stopped frowned, spotting both Penny and Bernadette staring at her, intently listening to what she had to say. "Does that make sense?"

"Um, yeah. Kinda." Penny replied with a furrowed brow and a small smile.

Amy grinned and took another sip of her wine, "He picked out a truly beautiful restaurant and was the perfect gentleman all night. He held my hand, opened doors for me and even walked me to my apartment at the end of the night." Amy looked down at her wine as she swirled it in the glass and let out a small sigh. "There was even this moment…" She said quietly.

"What kind of a moment?" Bernadette asked.

"A moment where…" Amy stopped and looked briefly at both of the girls, and then back down at her glass. "I really,_ really_ thought that he was going to…" She took a breath, "kiss me."

Penny let out a short gasp as her jaw dropped slightly. "Really?" She asked as she moved in closer and rested her arms on the bar.

"Yeah." Amy nodded, "He had this look in his eyes, sort of like the one he had when we were playing that dice game in his room." Amy looked up from her glass with excited eyes, "It was like he was _really_ thinking about it…" Her excitement faded as she looked back down at her glass and shrugged. "But he didn't."

Penny and Bernadette glanced at each other with a look of slight shock in their faces before turning back to Amy, who was still looking down into her glass of wine.

"Why didn't you kiss him?" Bernadette asked.

"Because…" Amy said as she looked up and at that moment someone called for service at the other end of the bar, causing Penny to turn around.

"Yeah, okay just a minute!" She said to the man before quickly turning around to hear the rest of Amy's story.

"Shouldn't you get that?" Amy asked.

"No, he'll be alright for a couple of minutes; I wanna hear this first." She said with a nod to Amy to continue her story.

"Oh, alright... Well, it's just that… I don't always want to be the one who has to kiss him first. I don't want to constantly have to _force_ him to kiss me. I want him to _want_ to do it." Amy sighed. "And a part of me thinks that he does… but something is holding him back... I just wish he wasn't so afraid to let go and open up."

"I'm sure he will at some point sweetie." Penny said and Bernadette nodded in agreement. "You know what he's like. He-" Penny was cut off by the man at the end of the bar shouting for her again. "Sorry, I should probably get that." She said to the girls as she turned around and headed over to the man.

"Penny's probably right Amy; Sheldon just takes his time with this kind of thing. I'm sure he will be ready for all that stuff soon." Bernadette said with a re-assuring smile.

"Hmm." Amy said with a nod as she continued to look into her glass. "I hope so."

Amy knew the girls were right; he probably would be ready to give her what she wanted at some point, and in some ways he already was. He had put a kiss on one of those coupons, so that had to mean that he had been thinking about it and was willing to give it a go, but with every day that she felt like he was trying to change, there were now many more where she felt like she was wasting her time. More and more often, she would find herself wondering how long she would actually have to wait for him, or what she would do if at some point he realized he was never going to be able to give her the kind of relationship she craved. She didn't want to spend her life waiting on someone that would never truly be ready for her, but she wasn't sure she would ever be able to leave him either.

When Penny returned from serving the customers, the girls continued to talk, moving the conversation along to how Bernadette was coping with the idea of having children, until Penny's shift was over and she could finally join them on the other side of the bar.

Penny had been a little hesitant about staying out at first. She had been working almost all day, and she wanted nothing more to get out of that uniform and out of that restaurant. However she was really enjoying being around just the girls again and after her first couple of drinks, she found she couldn't care less about the fact they were still in her workplace or that she was still in her uniform, she was just happy being around her girls. Most of the time they had spent together lately had been in the company of the guys and they were all really enjoying all the silliness and boy talk that they couldn't indulge in right in front of the guys.

"So Penny, how is your raging libido coping without having its usual release of nerdy man-love?" Amy joked as she finished off her fourth glass of wine.

Penny almost spat out the wine she was guzzling in shock. "Amy!" She exclaimed with a laugh as she wiped away the few drops of wine that had come spurting out of her mouth. "I'm coping just fine thank you."

"I find that hard to believe." Amy replied. "It has been almost a month now!"

"Yeah, I don't believe it either." Bernadette added with a sly smile. "Spill missy."

Penny tried to hide her grin as she sipped from her glass and her cheeks flushed red. "Fine." She said as she gulped down her wine and sat back in the seat. "I was fine at first. For the first couple of weeks I barely even thought about sex, but now…" She shook her head. "It's like I can't _stop_ thinking about it – and him. It is _so_ hard!"

"Yeah, that's what _he _said." Amy said, raising an eyebrow and nudging a giggling Bernadette on the arm.

Penny tried to hold in her laugh and glare at Amy, but couldn't and found herself giggling along with the girls. "It's not funny." She said with a smile.

"Well, at least you have your chew toy to keep you happy." Bernadette laughed, raising an eyebrow. "I sure made good use of mines while Howie was away."

"Yeah, I guess." Penny laughed and nodded. "It's just not the same. I'd rather have the real thing." She grinned.

"Yeah, wouldn't we all." Amy said with a nod and rather glum expression.

"I don't know what you're so sad about." Penny said with a smile. "You're getting more action than me these days. Even if it is just hand-holding and the occasional cuddle!"

"And I'm getting more than _all_ of you!" Bernadette added with a swing of her wine glass, causing Amy and Penny to laugh and move back, just in case the tipsy blonde accidently threw her drink over them.

Time passed quickly as the three girls sat and drank, and before they knew it, it was approaching eleven o'clock.

"Alright girls what's the plan for the rest of the night?" Penny asked. "I really don't fancy spending _all _night in here. So what is it? Will we go dancing, or go back to my place and crack open that bottle of Gin that's been on top of my fridge for like a year."

"Gin? Yuck." Amy said, shaking her head and grimacing.

"Yeah, I know," Penny nodded, "But it's all I have left. I already finished off all the wine."

"Okay, let's go back to yours," Bernadette said, "but we have to stop at the liquor store first; there is no way I am touching that Gin!"

* * *

Leonard woke up early, alone in his cold hard bed. He checked the clock on his phone, even although he knew it would only be reaching half six, and it was; twenty-six minutes past to be exact.

He had woken up around this time every day for the past week, and he was pretty sure he knew why it happened. Most of the Skype chats he had with Penny were first thing in the morning and he was sure his body was wakening him up early in anticipation of her call. The mornings – or evenings in her case - were the only times they really had the chance to talk lately due to Penny's busy days, as she was either at work, school, at auditions or keeping to the schedule she had with Sheldon, and as each day passed, he looked forward to those talks more and more.

He liked talking to her in the morning, it always made his days begin well, even when they found themselves bickering, as they had done a few days ago. That fight had played on his mind a little. Once the more risqué thoughts had been forced out of his conscious, he had wondered how he would feel if Penny suddenly started hanging out with some other guy that she had a lot in common with, and the fact that he knew he wouldn't be happy about it, made him wonder if he should stop hanging out with Karina so much.

She was just a friend, he knew that and Karina knew that. Karina knew that he was in a relationship. She knew that he was madly in love with Penny, because he had mentioned it more than once, and, although he wasn't brilliant at reading women, from what he saw there wasn't even an ounce of jealously in her.

The way he saw it, Karina was just like Paul. She was his friend, someone he could talk to and hopefully someone that one day he would be able to confide in when things on this ship got harder.

He needed her, just like he needed Paul, because with each day that passed on this boat, he felt himself missing the company of his friends more and more. As his routine settled and his once abnormal days became normal, he began to miss the little things that would happen back home.

He missed being able to hang out with his girlfriend and his friends. He missed the teasing and joking and doing random geeky things together, but he had managed to find a little bit of what he missed in Paul and Karina.

He knew that his friendship with Karina bothered Penny, but as much as he didn't want to make Penny uncomfortable or insecure, he really didn't want to cut Karina off either. She gave him something that Paul couldn't. She was into the same stuff as he was and he really enjoyed being able to indulge his nerdy side with her, in a way that he just couldn't with Paul.

Leonard sat up in his bed, forcing himself to get out of his head a little and wake up. Overthinking the situation wasn't going to make it any better.

Penny hadn't requested that he stop talking to Karina, so what was the point in worrying about it anyway? Penny trusted him, she knew that he would never cheat on her and he liked to think that she wouldn't put such a request on to him, especially after having that very thing forced upon her by Priya. She wouldn't ask him to cut a friend out of his life, he was sure she wouldn't; she was too kind hearted to do something like that, it was one of the reasons he loved her so much.

Just as he was about to roll out of bed and into the bathroom, his phone buzzed and he instantly picked it up upon seeing it was Penny that had texted him.

_God morning sweetie! Wont be able to slope tonight, having a girls night! Woo! Xxx_

Leonard chuckled at the messed up text. Although he felt hugely disappointed that they wouldn't be able to 'slope', which he figured was supposed to be 'Skype', he was quite happy to know that she was out enjoying herself.

_God morning? Slope? I thought you were supposed to be a smart college girl now that knew how to spell? Xxx _

Leonard grinned as he sent the teasing text off, and then instantly wondered if he should have made it more obvious that he was only joking. She was probably drunk, and in her drunken state she might not realize that what he was saying was only meant to be playful. Leonard shook his head a little as he got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. Penny always knew when he was being serious and when he wasn't, he really didn't need to explain it. What was wrong with him this morning? Why was he forcing himself to overthink absolutely everything?

Once he finished washing up in the bathroom, Leonard headed back over to his bed to check his phone and turn on his laptop as quietly as he could so as to not wake up Paul, who had become quite grouchy in the mornings, probably due to the crappy mattresses that they had to sleep on.

While he waited on his laptop to load, Leonard checked the awaiting text on his phone.

_It was autocorrect okay! You better watch the sass that comes out of that mouth of yours or you won't be getting to sleep with this smart college girl again! Xxx_

Once again Leonard chuckled, as he sent off his next text.

_Really? I'm pretty sure that's not true based on the content of our last few 'slope' conversations. Xxx_

Leonard smiled to himself as he sat his phone down, and almost jumped out of his skin when his laptop began to play the tune indicating someone was calling. He looked at the screen and frowned as he saw Sheldon's name pop up on the screen. Sheldon never called him at this time. If he wasn't in the middle of some sort of video game marathon, he would usually be in bed by now. Not to mention that any calls they shared were vigorously planned in advance, he never just called out of the blue, so why was he doing it now?

Leonard heard his phone buzz, telling him that Penny had replied, but his focus had been diverted and he answered Sheldon's call with a frown.

"Hey Sheldon, What's up?"


	37. Revelations

**Revelations**

"I wasn't expecting a call from you until Sunday, is everything okay?" Leonard asked a tired looking Sheldon on the screen. Leonard could see that he was in his pyjamas and his hair was slightly ruffled, suggesting that he had probably already been to bed and had gotten back up again.

"Well, that depends on what you mean by 'everything'." Sheldon replied with a slight shrug. "Professionally; I am more than okay. I am a brilliant scientist, working in one of the highest rated Universities in the world and I am currently on the road to proving String Theory and receiving a Nobel Prize." He sighed, "Personally; I am perfect healthy. My regular visits to the dentist have gone smoothly, as have my hairdressing appointments..." He thought in his head for a few seconds. "A few days ago I sneezed three times in a fifteen minute period and worried that I had once again caught the flu due to spending so much time with the carrier that is Penny; but it turned out to be nothing..." He said with a dismissive wave. "Almost every day since your departure has gone without any major problems. Both Amy and Penny have been keeping to their schedule; they have each done their part in bringing over the correct food for dinner and although Penny has been less than pleasant on more than one occasion, she has still gotten me safely to work every Tuesday and Thursday."

Leonard frowned. "So what's the problem then?"

Sheldon shrugged again. "There is no problem. _That_ is the problem. Everything is 'okay' both professionally and personally. Logically; nothing should be wrong."

Leonard continued to stare into the screen curiously. "But something _is_ wrong?"

"Most definitely." Sheldon slowly nodded. "I am unable to attain the REM sleep that is required to keep my brain working at its full potential."

"You can't sleep?"

"Yes Leonard, I can't sleep."

"Oh." Leonard nodded. "And you don't have any idea as to _why_ you can't get to sleep?"

"No." He sighed. "At first I thought it was caused by the fact that there were unorganized comics in the next room, but sleep still eluded me after I had sorted them out." Sheldon shook his head and looked towards his feet. "It's a mystery Leonard."

"Maybe you-" Leonard stopped and frowned, "Hold on, were you talking about _my_ comics?"

"Yes."

His frown deepened. "Why were my comics unorganized?"

"Why is it that my world, once filled only with intelligent conversations, video game marathons and trips to the comic book store, ended up _poisoned_ with talk of shoes, shopping and gossip about 'celebrities'?"

Leonard stared at Sheldon with utter confusion on his face. It was far too early for him to be dealing with Sheldon's cryptic conversations.

"Penny." He stated as if it was obvious.

"Oh…" A sly smile crept over his face, "Penny was looking at my comics?"

"Leonard…" Sheldon sighed, shaking his head. "The topic of this conversation was supposed to be focused around my lack of sleep. Can we please stick to the subject?"

Putting a hand to his forehead and gently trying to rub the pain of his oncoming headache away, Leonard breathed slowly in and out. He thought about just saying goodbye and shutting him off, but deep down he actually felt bad for him and wanted to help, despite the fact he was being such a pain in the ass. "Alright Sheldon." He softly sighed. "Is there anything in particular that has been on your mind? Anything that's bugging you? Some unbalanced formula maybe, or some new dispute with Kripke?"

Sheldon shook his head at each possibility. "No. All my formulas are perfectly balanced and my disputes with Kripke have been easy enough to deal with; I simply express to him how much more laid I am getting in comparison to him and he walks off like a puppy with his tail between his legs."

Leonard chuckled at the thought of Sheldon bragging about his 'sex-life' and moved on. "What about Amy? How are things going with her?"

Sheldon stiffened a little at the mention of her name. "Amy?" He shook his head once. "Um… things with Amy are fine."

The change in Sheldon's demeanour didn't go unnoticed. "Are you sure?" Sheldon nodded, but Leonard could sense something was up. "Sheldon, what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on Leonard. Amy and I are fine. The relationship contract is still in full effect." Sheldon shifted in his chair at the glare he received through the screen and looked down thoughtfully, "In fact, in some ways things with Amy are better than ever."

"How do you mean?"

Sheldon looked up. "Well… recently I have found that certain things, that would have greatly bothered me in the past," He shrugged, "just don't, anymore."

"Such as?"

"Um… well, I have found that physical contact, with her, isn't such a problem anymore," Sheldon looked off in thought, "We hold hands more often, and although I still find it unnecessary and sweaty, it isn't as much of an issue for me anymore… I also found that when we danced on her birthday, I wasn't as opposed to the closeness and touching as I have been in the past. In fact, I quite enjoyed it. The experience was somehow soothing."

Leonard was stuck between wanting to question Sheldon on what he had just said, and wanting to wait to see if he came out with any more revelations. He decided to stay quiet as he spotted the thoughtful look on his face.

"I enjoy spending time with her a lot more than I used to."

"I thought you always enjoyed spending time with her?"

"Oh, I did; when we went to the train store, to see a movie I liked, or when we would 'hang out' in the apartment and play counterfactuals or film the newest episode of Fun with Flags. I _never_ enjoyed it when she would force me to go shopping with her so she could get my 'opinion' on her choice of clothes. I would never enjoy watching those programmes that your girlfriend introduced her to and I always thought our date nights were tedious and boring, unless we were doing something that I had picked out for us to do…"

"And now?

"And now what?"

Leonard shook his head, "And _now_ do you enjoy doing those things?"

"Mh." He shrugged, "I don't particularly _enjoy_ them, but I am not completely opposed to it either."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why aren't you so opposed to it anymore?"

"I'm not sure. I certainly don't enjoy the activities. I would never do any of them out of choice, but somehow when Amy makes me do them, it isn't as bad."

"Because you are doing these things with Amy?"

"It would seem so." He nodded.

Leonard smiled as he saw where this was going, "Have you and Amy been spending more time together lately?"

"I suppose so. I see her almost every day, and on the days that I don't see her, we at least call or text one another." Sheldon let out another sigh, "Leonard, I don't see what all this has to do with-"

"Hold on." Leonard interrupted causing Sheldon great discomfort. "At the end of the day, before you get into bed and go to sleep, what do you do?"

"What do I do?"

"Yes."

Sheldon was becoming slightly irritated. These pointless questions weren't getting him any closer to understanding his insomnia, and he wondered for a second why he had thought Leonard would be able to help. "I wash up, brush my teeth, floss, go to the bathroom, get into my pyjamas, get into bed, set my alarm, text Amy and switch off the lights."

Leonard smiled again. "And when you wake up?"

Sheldon huffed, "Leonard. This is-"

Leonard held up a hand to stop him talking, "Just humour me."

Sheldon frowned at being cut-off again, but answered his question anyway. "I wake up a few seconds before my alarm goes off, turn it off, text Amy, go to the bathroom, shower, brush my teeth, floss and get ready for work."

"When you text Amy, what do you say?"

"In the evening I wish her a pleasant sleep, and in the morning I wish her good morning and ask how she slept." Sheldon frowned as he realized just how odd that kind of behaviour was, especially for him. He hadn't even realized it forcing its way into his routine, but that still didn't explain why he was finding trouble sleeping.

"So, she's the first person you think of when you wake up?"

"It would seem so."

"And the last person you think about at night?"

"Perhaps."

"Sheldon, can I ask you something personal?"

"I doubt you would listen to any objections I may have to it, so go on."

"Are you in love with Amy?"

"Excuse me?" He asked, a little taken back.

"Sheldon, you two have been in this relationship for almost two years. You are almost always together and because of her, you do stuff you don't like doing and enjoy it because you are with her. You forced yourself to try and overcome your dislike for physical contact to become closer to her and you text her, saying the stuff that you moan at me for saying to you!"

Sheldon continued to stare at Leonard with a frown to mask his fear. This was something he had considered in the past, but he hadn't thought it had become obvious to those around him. Sheldon shook his head. "Leonard, I still don't understand what this has to do with-"

"Look, you don't have to tell me if you do or not, frankly, I'm pretty sure I know the answer to my own question." Sheldon opened his mouth to speak but Leonard cut him off again, "_However_, I think you have to own up to whatever it is you are feeling. It's obvious you're relationship with Amy has gone past what it used to be and it is possible that you bottling up whatever emotions you are feeling, is keeping you up at night, whether you realize it or not." Leonard spotted the uncertainty in Sheldon's eyes. "You have to let that sort of stuff out of your head Sheldon, or else it will just play on your mind."

Sheldon began to consider it for just a second, before quickly shaking his head. "Alright, well, it seems this has been a waste of time. I should have known that the only explanation you would be able to come up with for my problem would be something related to 'feelings'."

Leonard let out a sigh. He wanted to be mad at him for asking him for help and then dismissing it as if it was nothing, but he knew that his sudden change in character meant that what he had said had gotten to him. "It was lovely talking to you too Sheldon." He replied with sarcasm.

Sheldon narrowed his eyes as he stared at Leonard and tried to figure out if he had heard sarcasm in his tone, "Okay. I will call you again on Sunday as arranged. Goodbye Leonard."

"Bye Sheldon."

Sheldon sat at his desk for a few moments after he had shut down his laptop, as his mind played over his whole conversation with Leonard. He hated to admit it, but it would seem he was right. Thoughts of Amy often plagued him at night; the only time when there was nothing else around to distract him. In those quiet moments he would wonder about love and had even considered asking her, or someone, about it.

It was unsettling for him to not be able to understand his feelings. Being unable to figure out why he was behaving in a certain way or why he wasn't reacting to situations in the way he usually would, frustrated him, and he could see now why that sort of thing would keep him awake. He knew he cared deeply for Amy, if he didn't he wouldn't have gone through so much trouble to please her on her birthday. He wouldn't have bothered so much about getting her an acceptable gift and he certainly wouldn't have participated in that dance, social protocol or not.

He also had to face up to the other slight changes going on inside of him. The ones that had caused that indescribable urge to kiss her at her doorway.

He knew these changes were things he finally had to face up to, but the thought of telling anyone how he actually felt, terrified him. At moments like these he wished for the simplicity of his routine filled past, but that would mean he would be without Amy, and that was something he would never wish for.

Sheldon took in a few deep, calming breaths and headed to his bedroom to try, once again, to get his find off Amy so he could get the sleep he so needed.

* * *

Leonard lay on his bed once his conversation with Sheldon was over. The call had surprised him, but he had to admit he wasn't completely shocked over what was said during it. He had seen these small changes in Sheldon before he had left, and in almost every call he had had with him since then. Sheldon wasn't exactly good at recognizing feelings, and he was terrible at masking them. Leonard knew that he was falling in love with Amy. He could see the similarities from when he had fell for Penny; that constant desire to be with them, thinking of them as you fall asleep or in that first moment when you wake up. Doing stuff with them because _they_ wanted to, even though you hated it, going out of your way to make them happy. It was all stuff he had done, and still did with Penny, and it was just a matter of time before Sheldon figured it out for himself.

In that second Leonard's thoughts shifted from his best friend to his girlfriend, and he grabbed his phone to check the text she had sent him earlier.

_I think ill manage to cope. I've got my chew toy to keep me happy ;) Xxx_

Leonard frowned at the text for a few seconds as his mind figured out what she meant by 'chew toy', but as soon as he remembered that day Sheldon had reorganized her closet, everything fell into place and he was unable to stop the grin that spread across his face.

For a brief few seconds he allowed his mind to travel over the thought of her putting it to use before shaking his head and focusing on what to text her back. He wanted to keep up the playful flirting, but he honestly had no idea what to say back to that. After a few minutes he thought of something that was still flirty enough, but didn't cause the conversation to become any more risqué. After all, he had work to go to and the last thing he needed as he worked with high powered machinery, was for his mind to be focused on thoughts of Penny and her chew toy.

_Fine, we will see about that when I get home. Xxx_

He put down his phone and sat up, just as Paul was wakening up.

"What are you smiling about at this time in the morning?" He groggily asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Nothing," Leonard replied, shaking his head as he headed to the bathroom. "I'm going for a shower."

_A cold one, a really, really cold one._

* * *

Penny, Amy and Bernadette stumbled down the street, giggling and making jokes as they walked through the dark streets, illuminated by the light coming from the various bars and restaurants, as they made their way to the liquor store a few blocks away.

"Who are you texting?" Bernadette asked with a grin as she pushed Penny on the shoulder.

Penny stumbled in the direction she was pushed, then looked up from her phone and laughed. "No-one!"

"I bet it's lil' Leonard." Amy slurred. "Is it li- lil' Leonard?"

"Mmmaybe." Penny replied with a shrug.

"It is!" Bernadette giggled, "Are you telling him how much you miss his-"

"HOO!"

Penny and Bernadette stopped walking as soon as they heard the noise come from Amy's mouth and turned around to see her, standing in front of the cinema they had just passed, staring into the window.

"What's up Ames?" Penny asked as she stumbled towards her, sliding her phone into her purse, deciding to finish off what she was in the middle of trying to write later on.

"Who is he?" She asked as she pointed to the full sized cardboard cut-out of Superman.

"Um, Superman." Penny replied with an, 'isn't that obvious' tone.

"Hoo." Amy said with a sigh as she tilted her head, dreamily staring ahead of her.

Penny and Bernadette giggled before nodding in the direction they were walking. "Come on sweetie, let's go, my Spidey senses are tingling." She laughed, "The liquor store is only three blocks away!"

"You're Spidey senses?" Bernadette asked with amusement. "I think you get nerdier every day."

"Shut up." Penny said with a small grin as she lightly slapped Bernadette on the arm. "Amy, are you coming?"

"I think we should go in here." She replied pointing to the doors of the cinema and nodding, "Yes, we should definitely go in here."

Before the girls could even protest, Amy had made her way through the doors and up to the ticket desk.

"Looks like we are going in here then." Bernadette giggled as she followed Amy.

"Aww." Penny whined as she looked down the street. "But we are _so_ _close_ to getting more wine!"

"Come on bestie!" Amy shouted from inside the building and Penny huffed before dragging herself inside too. "We're in luck! The next showing of the film is only ten minutes away!"

"But really? Superman?" Penny moaned. "Don't we get enough of this nerdy crap from our boyfriends?"

Amy tilted her head and then walked over to the cardboard cut-out. "Over two hours of looking at this man will make it worth the nerdiness! Come on, look at this face." She pointed to his head. "Look at these muscles." She pointed to his arms.

"Look at that bulge." Bernadette added with a giggle.

"Bernie!" Penny exclaimed.

"HOO!" Amy added as she stood back, admiring the standing cut-out.

Penny grinned as she looked over the figure in front of her. "Alright, I guess it can't be worse than being forced to watch Babylon 5 over and over again… And he is pretty hot. But if we are going to do the whole 'being drunk at the cinema' thing, then we are going to do it right. I'm pretty sure this place has a bar around here somewhere." She said before turning around and skimming the room with her eyes. "Oh! There it is!"

Bernadette and Amy followed Penny, who instantly rushed off in the direction of the bar.

"Wow. Drinking wine through a straw in a plastic cup." Bernadette said sarcastically as they collected their drinks and made their way to the snack bar. "We are so sophisticated!"

"We are!" Penny giggled as she walked up to the snack counter and ordered three regular popcorns, then headed into the theatre.

"Girls, girls, who am I?" Penny said as she put her purse, drink and popcorn on the floor and ran down the steps to the first available seat. "HAH!" She said in a loud, short burst, and then laughed, before moving to another seat. "NNYAHH!" She moved again and lowered her tone of voice. "HOOOO!"

Bernadette and Amy stood at the entrance, laughing hysterically as Penny jumped from seat to seat, mimicking Sheldon's odd ritual, receiving unimpressed glares from the other people in the room, until she was unable to continue due to her own laughter.

"Yeah, it's funny now, but imagine having to go through that every time you want to go to the cinema." Amy said glumly as she and Bernadette picked up Penny's stuff and joined her at her seat.

"I've got no sympathy for you Amy, you knew what you were getting into with Sheldon!" Penny laughed.

The three girls began to settle in their seats as the lights turned off and the picture came on.

"Ooooo." Amy said excitedly as she sat up straight and stared ahead of her. "I'm so glad we did this." She whispered, "Do you think he will take his shirt off?"

Penny and Bernadette giggled as the movie started up and various people around the theatre began to shush them. "Oops," Penny whispered, "Sorry." She giggled again and took a sip of her wine, before beginning to hum the Superman theme tune.

"Penny what are you doing?" Bernadette asked in a hushed tone.

"Singing the Superman song."

"No, I'm pretty sure that's Star Wars."

"Oh, oops." She said louder than she had meant to, resulting in her once again being shushed, not only by other people in the audience, but also by Amy, who was sitting on the edge of her seat, impatiently waiting on Superman to come onto the screen.

Penny grinned and mouthed an apology to Amy, before sitting back in her seat and pulling out her phone. She deleted the words she had written earlier, and replaced them with;

_Guess who's at the cinema, bout to watch the Man of Steel kick some ass? Yup, me! Suck on that Hofstadter! Xxx_

* * *

**Okay, first of all I want to apologise for taking so long to get this chapter up! It didn't even take long to write, I just kept on getting distracted by future chapters. The plus side to that is that when it comes to needing them, I will once again be ahead of myself! Yay! Secondly, the whole idea to have the girls go and see Superman came up before the whole thing with Kaley and Henry happened, but I wanted to keep chapter is I liked the idea of them doing some stuff the guys would normally do. Anyway hope you liked it and ill try my hardest not to keep you waiting so long in future, but I can't promise anything! **


	38. Forever

**Forever**

Penny woke up slowly on Saturday morning, with her arms clinging on to her little Ernie teddy and a familiar pounding in her head. As she woke, a few scattered memories of the night before came to her; ones of dancing along the pavement as they waited to get a cab home, and ones of her drinking in the cinema, getting up every half an hour to go to the bar and get another round in, greatly annoying the other people around her trying to watch the film.

She groaned at the less than pleasant memories and turned around to look at her nightstand in the hope she had left a glass or bottle of water there the night before, but as she opened her eyes, she caught a glimpse of a figure in her doorway that made her jump.

Penny screamed, covered her face with one hand, and instinctively threw the first thing that came to her towards it, which just happened to be the little Ernie teddy, and then a silence passed over the room. She had expected something to happen, someone to speak or come running over to her, but nothing happened.

Slowly, she parted her fingers and peeked through the space between them, before completely dropping her hand. She let out a quiet laugh and shook her head as she put her hand to her chest, and breathed deeply in an effort to calm her racing heart.

There was no strange man in her apartment, there was no intruder, it was simply the cardboard cut-out of Superman that she now remembered she and the girls had 'borrowed' from the cinema. She was a little puzzled about why it had ended up at her apartment and not Amy's, but she was sure that she would figure that out later on when she spoke to the two of them and filled in the blanks of what she couldn't quite remember from last night.

After recovering from her shock, she began to force herself out of bed and into the kitchen to grab a drink, since she obviously hadn't been sober enough when she had come home to remember and put the life-saving glass beside her bed.

As she walked past the Superman at her door, she shook her head, letting out a disbelieving laugh in the process and then another one when she spotted little Ernie on the floor. She wasn't quite sure what she had been thinking in that split second to make her think that throwing a soft toy would actually help her if she _had_ been faced with some sort of intruder; even if she had managed to hit him with it, it was hardly the sort of thing that would cause any real damage.

"I'm sorry sweetie." She mumbled as she bent down to pick him up off the floor, gave it a quick kiss on the forehead and carried him with her to the kitchen where she took out a bottle of water, before stumbling back to her bed, moving the Superman from her doorway and into her bedroom whilst kicking her discarded uniform from the night before out of her pathway.

As she fell onto her bed, dropping her bottle of water and her teddy down beside her, she searched for her phone, eventually finding it hidden under her pillow. She clicked the 'home' button and the first thing she noticed was a text from Leonard, the second was that it was almost eleven am. She quickly figured out that it would be almost seven in the North Sea, something she had become quite good at calculating over the past month. As she unlocked her phone a few small visions of texting Leonard as she was in the cinema came floating back to her, but none of after the movie had ended, although there was very little she remembered of that point in time anyway, apart from 'borrowing' that Superman. Shaking her head and smiling incredulously at their silly actions, she opened the text.

_You know you shouldn't be telling me that kind of stuff while I'm trying to work. You're going to cause some sort of disaster in my lab! Go to sleep honey, and call me when you wake up. :) Xxx_

Penny frowned at the text and scrolled up, before putting hand to her mouth as her stomach fell and she saw that she had told him, in no uncertain, yet slightly misspelled terms, what she was looking forward to doing to him as soon as he got back from his trip. Penny felt her cheeks flush a hot red as she sunk down into the sheets, afraid to scroll up further and see what else she had said through the night. She opened her bottle of water and took a long drink, before going back to her phone and calling him, like he had asked.

* * *

Leonard was alone in his room, not long out of the shower and thinking of going to meet Paul and Karina in the recreation room, where they, and a small bunch of the other scientists on board, were planning a 'one-on-one' Call of Duty tournament that he wanted to be a part of. His Saturday nights hadn't changed much since moving on to this ship, they were still filled with nerdy goings on - just with different nerds.

He hummed a tune as he tidied up the small mess gathering at his bedside, unable to remove the smile that had been plastered on his face all day; all thanks to Penny and her drunken, random, texts she had been sending him.

His humming stopped suddenly when he heard his phone vibrate then ring on his desk, and he frowned a little as he wondered who it was calling him as he never really got phone calls anymore, since whenever he spoke to someone, it was usually over the laptop.

That frown disappeared, replaced with a wide smile when he got close enough to see that it was Penny calling.

"Hey, you." Leonard said in such a way that Penny could almost tell he was smiling on the other side.

"Hey." Penny replied, still with a slight crack from her dry throat.

"How are you feeling this morning?" He asked, still grinning as he sat down on his bed.

"Mmh, not great." She moaned, before clearing her throat. "My head's a little sore, but I've been in worse conditions." Leonard chuckled, "Stop laughing, it's not funny!" She protested with a smile that she was glad he couldn't see.

"Sorry, what I meant to say was; _oh that's too bad_." He replied with sarcasm dripping through his tone.

"That's better." She grinned.

"So did you enjoy the movie?"

"Yeah, it was alright." She replied, although if she were honest, she couldn't really remember most of it. "I finally learned what Kal-el was,you know that thing you use for all your passwords, so, that was good."

"Yeah I know, I can't believe you didn't know what it was."

"Oh yeah, because _that's_ the kind of thing I am going to just know!" She replied sarcastically and laughed. "I thought it was one of your physics formula things that you-" Penny frowned, "Wait a second, what do you mean you know?"

"You texted me last night telling me."

"Oh," Penny grinned, remembering not only that text, but a few others that made her blush just to think about. She had to change the subject quickly, because the last thing she needed was that being brought up. "We stole Superman." She blurted out.

"Yeah, I know that too. I have the pictures."

"Pictures?!" She didn't recall taking any pictures, and she could only hope that these ones of Superman were the only ones she had sent. "What pictures?"

"Well, there were a couple of the three of you doing superhero poses beside him – I feel bad for whoever you got to take those pictures by the way." He laughed, "Then there were a few of Amy pretty much molesting the thing, and a few from inside the cab, with it kind of hanging out the window."

"Oh yeah… fun night!" Penny laughed as it all came back to her. "He's here with me now. It scared the crap out of me this morning, I thought there was someone breaking in, so I threw Ernie at it."

"The teddy?"

"Yeah."

Leonard chuckled. "You threw a teddy at something you thought was a person breaking in!?" He laughed again, "How was that going to help?"

"It was the closest thing to me!" Penny replied defensively, but Leonard continued to laugh. "I bet the teddy would have done more damage than you in that situation!"

He chuckled again. "Oh really? Okay, so if someone tries to break in to my apartment when I get back, I should just start throwing teddies and maybe some pillows at him?"

"Yes." She replied with a nod, as a smile crept over her face at the sound of him still laughing on the other end. "Will you stop laughing! You know, you've turned into such a smart ass since being on that ship."

Leonard laughed, "Its fun teasing you, especially when you make it so easy and you can't withhold sex from me for doing it." He chuckled again as Penny shook her head, but was unable to stop a small laugh of her own.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, "Well, I hope my actions have perked up your day."

"Oh you did. I don't think I have stopped smiling all day... the texts you sent though…" He chuckled, "Those were personal favourites." He said with a cheeky grin.

Penny's stomach fell and she groaned. She knew that this moment was coming, and she could tell by the tone of his voice that he was going to continue to tease her for whatever she had said.

"I especially liked it when you told me how you couldn't wait to be with me and my 'man of steel'." He laughed.

Her cheeks flushed and her eyes widened in shock. "I did _not_ say that."

"You did. The texts are right there on your phone. Although technically you did write 'man of stool' but we can put that down to autocorrect." Leonard chuckled, "I got pretty good at understanding what you meant when it seemed to make no sense, although it did take me a minute to understand what you meant when you told me you were looking forward to playing with my duck."

"Oh my God." Penny moaned as she slid down her bed and covered her face with her free hand. "I didn't."

"You did. You know, for someone who was trying to convince me at the beginning of the day that you won't need me when I get home because of this chew toy, you really didn't sound like it by the end of the night."

"Oh God…" She groaned again and heard him laugh on the other side. "You really are enjoying this aren't you?" Penny mumbled through her hand.

"I am." He answered with a smug chuckle. "I don't think I've ever had someone be this obviously hot for me before. I really do think I am turning into Captain Kirk."

"Alright, well, Captain Kirk better keep all of this information to himself, or else that chew toy of mine will become his permanent replacement."

"My lips are sealed… Although I already told Paul."

"What?!"

"Just kidding."

"Leonard, I am _this_ close to hanging up on you."

"You wouldn't do that, not to me and my man of steel!"

Penny grinned, "Right, that's it." She moved the phone from her ear, pretending that she was going to hang up, and as she expected she heard Leonard's frantic voice on the other end.

"Okay, okay, okay, I'll stop!"

"Promise?" She asked, putting the phone to her ear again.

"Yes, I promise. No more teasing." He smiled into the phone, "So, what are your plans for today?"

"Well, I am supposed to be going to an audition later, but I think I might just skip it."

"Why?" Leonard asked, his tone suddenly turning serious.

"I dunno. I guess I'm not really in the mood to drive all the way to Hollywood, just to be told 'thanks for coming, but you aren't quite what we are looking for.'" She huffed, as her head briefly travelled over all the different ways the various casting directors had told her how she just wasn't good enough for their commercials, or plays, or didn't have the right look or sound. It was frustrating, because she knew she wasn't a bad actress. She knew that show business was a fickle world and more often than not, if you didn't have the right look they wanted, or if someone with a brighter smile, better figure or bigger chest came along, she would be cast aside whether she was technically better than them or not. "I'll probably just laze about the apartment for the day. I don't think I have to do anything with your crazy roommate, so I have the day to myself. What about you?"

"There's a Call of Duty tournament planned in the recreation room, so I'll be heading up there." He said, deliberately not mentioning who he was going to be playing with, not wanting to say anything to ruin the happy conversation they had been having.

Penny laughed, "Some things never change."

Leonard chuckled back in agreement and Penny smiled until she heard a knock on her door. Wondering who it was, she got out of bed and walked over. "Hold on sweetie, someone's at the door." She said into the phone before peeking out the peephole to see two dishevelled looking figures standing there, making her giggle. She opened the door, and let Bernadette and Amy in, gesturing to the phone as they walked past her. "I'm talking to Leonard," She said and the girls nodded as they slumped down on her sofa. Penny took that as a cue to finish her conversation and walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. "The girls are here, and for once, they actually look worse than me!"

Leonard chuckled, "Okay, I'll let you go then, enjoy the rest of your hangover."

"I'm not hung over." She replied trying to sound as sincere as she could, until a small laugh left her mouth. "Bye baby." She put the phone to her lips and gave it a loud kiss, then smiled at the sound of his laughter on the other side. "I love you."

"I love you too. Will I call you tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, bye honey."

There was a moment after those words where both of them continued to hold the phone to their ears. Each of them wondering if the other was going to say something else, and neither of them wanting to be the first one to hang up.

At the sound of the two girls in the other room giggling, Penny hung her head and pulled the phone from her ear, touching the 'end' button before throwing it onto her bed. She loudly groaned at the pain in her chest that still came after every single call, and dragged herself out of her room, shoulders slouched and her bottom lip slightly pouted.

"Amy wants to know what you done with her Superman." Bernadette giggled as she turned her head around to face Penny, her smile dropping as soon as she saw Penny's sad demeanour. "You okay?"

Penny looked up and gave a half-smile her friends' way. "I'm fine." She said as she walked over to the kitchen to grab some water bottles for them all. "So, not that I don't love you guys just dropping by unannounced, but what are you doing here?"

"Howie was coming over to see Sheldon, so I got him to pick up Amy when he was going to get Raj so we could all be hung over together." Bernadette replied as she took a bottle from Penny's hand.

"I actually just wanted to get my Superman back." Amy said with a grin as she looked around the apartment and took her bottle from Penny. "What did you do with him?"

"He's in the bedroom." Penny said, her voice still low and sad as pointed her hand to the doorway, "How did I end up with him anyway?"

"We decided as a group that you should take it home because Sheldon or Howie might get jealous if one of us came home with another man." Bernadette recalled, "I don't know where that logic came from, but that's what we decided."

Penny nodded, faintly remembering the conversation that seemed to make perfect sense at the time, as she sat down in the middle spot on the sofa, between the two girls and let out a loud sigh. "Well, Amy, you can have him back now, the thing scared the crap out of me this morning." She gently laughed, remembering the fright that had resulted in her throwing her teddy at it earlier, before shifting her body to rest her head on Bernadette's lap, and her legs up and over Amy.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Amy asked, glancing over at Bernadette with a look full of concern for her sad friend.

"I'm fine." She replied blankly. "I just always get a little down after talking to him. Just give me a few minutes and I'll be alright." She said with a shrug, hoping that would be enough to satisfy them and they would stop questioning her.

"You know if you want to talk about it, we're here." Bernadette said as she touched her hand to her head.

Penny closed her eyes. "Please, Bernie, stop." She pleaded, as a small lump formed in her throat. It was bad enough that she had only just gotten off the phone with him, but her friends' concern, as touching as it was, only made her feel just that bit more sorry for herself. "Can we just watch television or something? I need something to take my mind off him for a while."

"Sure." Bernadette nodded towards Amy who reached out for the remote and turned on the television.

The next couple of hours were spent flicking through channels, watching various comedies and sitcoms, perking Penny's mood up considerably. The girls began to talk and joke about the previous night, and Penny showed them the pictures they had taken, that she had sent to Leonard that night, finding the ones of them doing their superhero poses the most amusing. She even told them about the texts she had sent him, deciding that the story of how the autocorrect had changed certain words was funny enough to be worth the few seconds of embarrassment she felt over actually sending those sorts of texts.

"I wonder where I'm going to put him." Amy said a while later as she looked at the Superman that had been moved over to the free space beside the stools at Penny's breakfast bar.

"We all know where he's going Amy," Penny said with a laugh, "Right at the foot of your bed!"

Amy sighed, "Yeah… maybe."

Penny and Bernadette giggled at the dreamy expression on Amy's face.

"I think we should go see it again." Amy added, her eyes still focused on the static figure.

"No," Penny replied, rolling her eyes. "I think once is enough sweetie."

"You could take Sheldon to see it." Bernadette added with a wide smile. "Maybe sit up at the back," She raised her eyebrows, "maybe your hand accidently misses as you're reaching for your drink…"

Amy shook her head. "Tried it. My hand got his knee and he implemented a rule that my beverages have to stay on the opposite side to him to prevent any more unwanted and unnecessary touching."

"God that man is crazy sometimes." Penny said, shaking her head.

Amy nodded her agreement, "Yeah," She smiled as she turned away from Superman and back to the girls, "but he's getting better."

The girls returned the smile, and then Penny began to flick through the channels again. While she was searching for a programme, Bernadette got up and went to the bathroom, returning with Penny's bed covers in hand.

"Have you found something yet?" She asked as she threw one half of the covers over Penny and Amy.

"Yup, Friends."

"Again?"

Penny shrugged, "There's nothing else on. Plus, I don't think I've seen this one before."

At this, the three girls quietened down, pulling the covers over them and resting their feet on the coffee table.

As the minutes passed and the show went on, Penny found herself becoming more and more engrossed in the scenes playing out in front of her. She had never been a huge fan of this show. Sure, she had watched and enjoyed it when she had a spare few minutes of her day to kill, but as with almost everything in her life, Leonard, her family, friends, and possibly Game of Thrones, being the only exceptions, she just wasn't that bothered by it. She never got the passion that came with being overly attached to the characters, she never felt her heart beat with anticipation over what was going to happen and she never got sucked into the storyline, but today was different.

For whatever reason, as she watched Monica freak out over her relationship with Chandler, and go running back to her ex for some sort of comfort, for a brief few seconds she felt herself become drawn in, hoping and wishing that she made the right decision. As the time passed that feeling only grew, and at the end of the episode, while she watched Chandler walk into a dark apartment filled with light from dozens of little candles scattered everywhere, and Monica stood at the other end of the room, hands clasped in anticipation, her eyes watered and her heart raced.

She gripped the sheets in front of her, and her heart almost stopped when she watched Monica drop down on one knee and begin a tear filled proposal. In that moment she wondered how it would feel to do the same, how scary and nerve wracking the whole experience of completely putting yourself out there for someone else must feel.

Her eyes watched as Chandler knelt down beside her and finished off what she had been trying to say, but her mind wandered away from what was on the screen, and on to how Leonard would react when she done the same.

_When_ she done the same. She was sure that was the first time she had ever thought of it and used the word 'when' instead of 'if'.

The whole idea of doing it still terrified her. The single thought of 'forever' still freaked her out beyond belief, and she still wasn't even sure she understood why that was. But she knew that she wanted to marry him. If this past month had shown her anything, it was that she never wanted to have to be without him again and that no matter how terrifying it was to think of 'forever', the thought of not having him in her future was even scarier.

A small smile crept over her face as the couple on the television embraced and kissed, and Penny closed her eyes to keep the few tears rimming her eyes from falling.

One day she would do it. She had no idea when that was, be it months or years from now, but one day she would get the courage she needed and she would ask him, just like Monica did.

All she had to do was get over her fear of 'forever' first.


	39. A Coital Encounter

**Just FYI, this chapter isn't as smutty as the title would suggest! So any of you that dont like that sort of thing you can relax! haha Also, this is a long one, almost 5000 words and i had to force myself to stop at the end so i could get an updaate out. It turned out longer than i had thought it would be! Anyway i hope you enjoy it and remember to tell me in those reviews. They make me happy! :)**

**A Coital Encounter.**

Leonard finished up in his lab just after three o'clock on Friday afternoon and quickly made his way up to Karina's office. He had a smile on his face and a spring in his step as he walked through the long dark corridors, greeting various scientists that he passed on the way.

There were a few things contributing to his good mood today, the first being that all of his experiments had been going off without a hitch and according to plan, meaning that his team were slightly ahead of schedule and allowing him to finish his work day so early.

The second reason was his thoughts of Penny. That wasn't exactly unusual; ever since she had moved in across the hall from him all those years ago, she had almost always been at least part of the reason for any huge smile on his face.

Thinking of her as he was on this boat however, often brought out different feelings to the ones he would usually experience. Lately, thinking of her just made him feel lonely as he would dwell on the fact that she was so far away from him, and he still had so long to go before he got to see her properly again. But today was different, and that was because of the conversation they had had last night.

Leonard's smile widened just at the thought of it. It had been a conversation he knew was coming. It had been building up ever since that night that she had shown him what she had bought on a day out shopping with the girls, and he had admired her perfect body as she lounged about her bedroom in his clothes. It had been on the verge of being brought up only a couple of weeks ago, after he had done his best to assure her that nothing had, or would ever happen, with Karina. And then there were those texts.

He let out a happy sigh as his mind drifted back to only last week. It had been so hard for him to stay cool throughout that day when every so often he would receive a text that would explain to him, in many different ways, how horny his gorgeous girlfriend was. He had gotten barely any work done, unable to focus his mind completely on what he was doing when he knew that she was pining for him on a different continent. It was a thought that made him incredibly happy, yet made him ache at the same time. Knowing that she was so full of lust and desire for him, and having absolutely no way of being able to physically satisfy her, and himself, was tough. It was something that he had never experienced before; even with Priya.

Last night, all that built up tension finally got some release. She had called him on the laptop when she had gotten back from dropping Sheldon off at work, while he was alone in his room; Paul having gone off that evening to do what he had been trying to do for the past few weeks, and beat Karina at Call of Duty. Leonard knew he would be gone for a while, and a certain look in Penny's eyes had rendered him unable to think of anything other than sex during most of the first half of their conversation.

He was sure she felt it too. There had been a few long, thoughtful pauses in their conversation where they would simply stare into one another's eyes and he was sure that at that moment the both of them were trying to pull out the courage to say some words to start what they both wanted.

It was he that had done it in the end; something he knew Penny was surprised by. It was a heart stopping moment. He had been almost terrified of bringing it up through fear of being shot down and left red faced in embarrassment, but in the end it was easier than he thought it would be. All he had to say was that he missed her, and then add that he missed being able to touch her in a low, gruff voice, and a fire ignited in her eyes. She had told him, in the most seductive way, that he might not be able to touch her, but he could look, before biting on her lower lip and slowly removing his green recycle t-shirt, revealing her bare body underneath. That was all it had took, and close to half an hour later they were grinning through the screen at each other, flushed, naked and sweating, saying barely a word to each other.

The biggest downfall of the whole experience was that he couldn't hold her afterwards. In those quiet few moments after they had relieved some of their stress, all he wanted to do was pull her close to him and bury his face into the back of her neck as he planted soft kisses on her and drifted off to sleep.

A brief moment of sadness fell over him as he thought of that painful moment of shutting her off his screen a while after the intimate moment they had shared was over, but forced his mind away from that, and back to what had happened before it; his grin re-appearing.

There was one other reason he was in such a good mood today, and that was that tonight he had a Dungeons and Dragons night planned with the guys back home. He had thought up the idea a couple of days ago, mainly because he had missed spending time with all the guys and partly because he wanted to give Sheldon some sense of normality back to his ever changing life. He could tell that the poor guy was struggling with whatever growing feelings it was he had for Amy, and he knew that the fact that his entire routine had also changed hadn't made dealing with those feelings any easier. And so Leonard had figured that maybe a night with just the guys, playing a game all together just like they would have if he had been there, might ease Sheldon's stresses just a little, whilst giving him the opportunity to get some time with the guys that he missed dearly.

Leonard placed a few quick knocks on Karina's office door when he finally reached it, and waited patiently for her to answer.

"Oh, hey Leonard." She said with a smile before her eyebrows furrowed, "What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too." He joked, "I need to ask you a favour."

"Oh, okay, come on in." She said before moving to the side, allowing Leonard to enter the large room that looked tiny due to the sheer amount of computer screens, keyboards, various wires and chairs around.

"Woah, this place is…" He started, looking for the right words to express how cramped this place felt without insulting her.

"A mess? Like a cave filled with technology? Yeah, I know." She laughed as she sat down on one of the chairs. "So what is it you want from me?"

"Right!" He said with a nod as he sat down on one of the free chairs. "Um, well, I have plans tonight to have a pretty long Skype session with the guys back home, because we are planning on playing D&D together," He grinned, before realizing that most of the women he knew wouldn't know what that was, "Oh, that's-"

"Dungeons and Dragons, yeah, I know."

"Oh." He said with surprise. "Cool. Well, we are going to play that tonight."

"Okay, so what do you need me for?"

"The thing is, tonight is Friday night..."

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Aaand," He loosely pointed his hand to her, "you know how jammed the internet bandwidth gets on here on Friday nights..."

"Uh huh."

"_Everyone_ gets the urge to go _online_ and play games or talk to friends…" He trailed off, hoping that she got where he was going.

"Alright I think I know what you want." She nodded, "You want me to hack into the internet and cut it off for everyone except you?" She smiled.

"No, no!" He replied quickly. "I just want you to make it so that my connection is stronger. Maybe… put me on an isolated network or something." He gave her a hopeful look. "I just don't want to be in the middle of this game and be freezing every few minutes."

With a sigh Karina turned and began to furiously type away on one of the many keyboards at the huge desk. "Alright, I guess I can do that."

Leonard's wide smile of before returned to his face as he stood up, and walked towards the door. "Thanks, I owe you!"

Karina turned as Leonard was about to walk out the door. "Woah, woah! Come back a second."

"Yeah?" He asked, stopping at the door and turning half of his body to her.

"You said you owe me?"

"Yeah." He nodded.

"Okay, so, how about you let me play?"

He frowned. "Play what?"

"D&D." She replied as though it was obvious.

"Oh. Really?" He asked with a puzzled expression. It wasn't often that women showed any interest in wanting to play that game, not with him and his friends anyway.

"Yeah. I love it. Haven't played since Uni, it'll be fun."

Leonard shrugged. "Alright, sure. Come by my place for eleven."

"Cool, I'll see you then." She replied with a nonchalant shrug.

Leonard was about to leave but stopped as he registered just how blasé she was being about the situation. "No, really, you _have_ to be there for eleven. If you don't my friend Sheldon will force us to start without you. In fact he will probably already be a little annoyed at you even playing, so be there for half ten."

Karina frowned. "Are you serious? Will he really be that-"

"Yes." Leonard said with a nod before she could finish. "He will freak out. Just be there by half ten okay?"

Karina continued to look at him as if he was crazy for a few extra seconds, before nodding. "Alright, see you later."

* * *

Sheldon and Amy walked out of apartment 4a just after half seven, perfectly on time to get Sheldon to work on time as well as Amy, just as Penny was leaving 4b. Both Amy and Sheldon turned to each other with the same look of surprise on their faces when they saw her, smiling as she left her apartment, perfectly made up and on her way out.

"Penny?" Amy said, as though the figure in front of her couldn't possibly be her blonde haired bestie; the one that would avoid early mornings like the plague unless they were forced upon her.

"Hey guys!" Penny cheerily replied as she closed her apartment door and turned to lock it, before turning back to them, her hair swishing as she moved.

Sheldon stared at Penny for a few seconds before checking his watch, and then his phone, just to make sure it was _actually_ Friday, and Penny was _actually_ awake - dressed and heading out - all before eleven am, without even a hint of a scowl on her face. It was quite unnerving.

"Heading to work?" Amy asked. Even although Penny wasn't in her Cheesecake Factory uniform, clad instead with a pair of skinny jeans, boots, a coloured shirt and her brown leather jacket, there seemed to be no other explanation for her being up at this time. Maybe The Cheesecake Factory were having a 'dress down' day.

"Nope." Penny replied before walking over to the stairs and practically bouncing down them. "I have an audition." She spoke quickly, almost bursting with energy. "Then I'm going to get my hair done because I haven't had it done in _so_ long, and then I'm going grocery shopping, because there is like, _no_ food in my fridgerator!" When she was down the first few steps, she turned around, noticing that Sheldon and Amy were still looking at her with a puzzled expression. "Don't you guys have to get to work?"

"Right, yes." Amy said with a nod as she began to walk down the steps, closely followed by Sheldon.

"She seems to be in an awfully good mood this morning." Sheldon whispered to Amy as they slowly walked down the stairs, their shoulders almost touching as they moved. "Do you think she's on drugs?"

"No." Amy replied in a harsh whisper, "She's not on drugs." She shrugged, "Maybe she's just having a particularly good day."

Sheldon stopped and tilted his head, looking at her as if she had just said the most stupid thing ever. "Amy, the day has barely begun. Besides, Penny hasn't had a 'good day' in quite some time, and she has _certainly_ never had a 'good morning' for no reason at all."

"Mh, no." She shook her head and continued to walk, Sheldon once again following her. "That's not true; she was very upbeat on the evening of my birthday."

"Yes, in the _evening_. She wasn't upbeat in the morning." Sheldon looked ahead at Penny, still walking down the stairs, blissfully unaware of what they were saying. "The only other explanation would be that she has recently had coitus."

"Why would that be the only other explanation?"

"Well, I can remember many times when she has been in my apartment in the mornings, acting just as carefree and happy as she is now, after her and Leonard had kept me up most of the night with their repeated banging and yells to a deity." He shook his head as he once again glanced down at Penny, bouncing down the stairs as she hummed some tune. "But given that Leonard isn't here, one must assume she is on drugs." He looked deep in thought for a second, then looked over at Amy. "Unless she has found another mate to replace Leonard." He whispered, before looking off thoughtfully again.

In that moment, something clicked into place in Amy's head and a sly grin covered her face.

"I have to say I'm a little surprised." Sheldon continued in a whisper, still careful not to let Penny hear his words. "I thought her recent declaration of love had all but cemented their relationship... And then after seeing how upset she has been over the past few weeks without him…" Another thoughtful look crossed Sheldon's face, "This just doesn't make sense."

Amy was about to tell Sheldon just to leave it, that he was being overdramatic and that Penny had done nothing wrong, she was simply having a good day. She would have, of course, missed out the information that there was a certain chew toy that may have something to do with her elated behaviour, but she didn't even get the chance to speak.

Sheldon cleared his throat and raised the tone of his voice from a whisper so Penny could hear him. "Penny?"

"Yeah?" Penny asked as she turned slightly to him whilst still bouncing down the steps.

"Have you recently had coitus?" He asked causing both Penny and Amy to stop walking and turn to him, their jaws slacked.

"What?!"

"I don't see how my question would confuse you." He stated slightly taken aback, but both girls just continued to stare at him. "Your unusually chirpy mood this morning would suggest that - unless you are taking drugs - you have had some sort of coital encounter recently. And normally that wouldn't be a problem to me, however you are currently in a relationship with my best friend, and the last thing I need right now is to have to deal with the wails of his broken heart. Again."

Penny's puzzled and shocked expression didn't change at all as Sheldon had spoken. She honestly didn't know whether to laugh at the absurdity of it or slap him for the accusation he was making. "I'm not cheating on Leonard, Sheldon." She said with a stare before turning around and continuing to walk down the stairs. "And I haven't had coitus, but you _could_ say I had some sort of 'coital encounter'." Penny turned, flashed him a sly grin then laughed at the look of utter confusion on his face, before turning to walk down the stairs again.

Sheldon turned to Amy, his brows furrowed as he tried to decipher what Penny had meant, and noticed a similar sly grin on her face, as was on Penny's. "What are _you_ smiling at?"

Amy shook her head as she let out a soft laugh and followed Penny down the stairs. "Nothing."

"Don't tell me you understand what she was talking about?"

"I do." Amy replied before turning her head to Sheldon. "And hopefully someday you will too. Now come on or else you will be late for work."

Sheldon continued to stare, slightly bewildered for a few more moments, before he realized that it wasn't worth being late for work, simply to ponder over Penny's confusing antics.

"So, I hear you and the boys are playing Dungeons and Dragons later on today." Penny said in an effort to move the conversation along as they continued down the flights of stairs.

"You are?" Amy asked, turning to Sheldon.

Nodding, he replied, "Yes, we are."

"This is the first I'm hearing of it." Amy replied, slightly hurt that he hadn't mentioned the fact he was playing the game that had given them their most intimate moment to date.

Penny noticed the hurt in Amy's voice, and thinking that Sheldon probably wouldn't, she spoke before he could. "It's boys only this time Amy, we aren't allowed to play."

"Oh." Amy replied, whilst Sheldon nodded his agreement.

Penny pushed open the door to the building, "You can come and hang out at mines later if you want though? We can find something much more fun than playing Dungeons and Dragons to do with our afternoon, which I'm sure won't be hard!"

Amy grinned in Penny's direction. "Will you give me all the details of this 'encounter' that has put you in such good spirits?"

"I'll give you _some_ details!" She laughed, and then laughed just that bit harder when she saw the confusion fill Sheldon's face again. She caught her breath and shook her head. "Alright guys, I'll see you later!" Penny smiled and bounced off in the direction of her car.

"Bye!" Amy shouted, "Good luck with your audition!"

Penny threw her head around, grinned her friends' way and waved, before getting into her car.

"That was odd." Sheldon said as he watched her turn on her car and leave, the sound of music pumping through her speakers filling the street.

"Come on, let's go." Amy shook her head and smiled at the adorable, confused look on her boyfriends' face, before they both headed off as well.

* * *

Penny returned home a little after two, her hair flowing the way it only ever did when a professional had worked their magic on it, as she dropped her two grocery bags on her kitchen counter. Her cheery demeanour hadn't faded. She still had a stupid grin plastered over her face, a grin that hadn't disappeared since this morning, a grin that hadn't disappeared since _yesterday_ morning in fact.

Biting on her lower lip, she began to put all her groceries away. As she did, she thought over her day. She thought about how well her audition had gone, about how the casting people had seemed to like her, and how this could _finally_ be the big break she needed. If it was, she knew she would have Leonard to thank for it, because if it weren't for him, she wouldn't have been quite as enthusiastic about having to get up so early and drive an hour out of town, _just_ for an audition.

She couldn't quite believe herself how good she felt; how good he had made her feel. Being with him, having his voice around her and his face on her screen, as she took herself to ecstasy, had made the experience much more satisfying - more than she had expected it would.

Penny lost herself in thoughts of the whole 'encounter', remembering every wonderful part of it, as she absent-mindedly put everything she had purchased away.

As soon as she was done she reached for the top of her fridge, pulling down a bottle of red wine and poured herself a small glass to sip on as she made some lunch for her, Amy and Bernadette, who she had texted earlier to come over and join her and Amy while the boys played their game.

Penny headed back into her cupboards, pulling out the sauces and spices needed for her infamous spaghetti, then grabbed the minced meat from the fridge before searching her cupboards again for the pasta.

"Pasta, pasta, pasta…" She mumbled as she rummaged around. "Where are you pasta?" Penny searched for another few minutes before stopping and letting out an exasperated sigh as her hands fell to her sides. "Crap. I forgot the pasta." Glancing over her apartment, she spotted the door and smiled, before practically bouncing over and out of her apartment. Her forgetfulness wasn't going to ruin her good mood. Sheldon would probably have pasta, and her whole lunch would still be able to go to plan.

Penny walked across the hall and gave the door a quick burst of knocks before walking inside, spotting Sheldon and Howard sitting on the sofa and Raj in one of the wooden chairs, the three of them setting up their game on the coffee table.

Penny frowned as she shut the door behind her, confused as to why Raj wasn't sitting in the chair that Leonard would usually be in, until she spotted it.

Standing in front of Leonard's chair was a small 'robot', one she had seen before. The 'body' was adorned with one of Leonard's t-shirts and hoodies, and a pair of his pants.

"Oh my God." Penny said as she walked closer to the coffee table to get a better look, letting out a small laugh as she got a good look at what used to be 'Shel-bot'. "What the hell is this?"

"Penny, you do realize you are supposed to wait until you are called in before walking into someone's apartment. I don't know why you bother to knock if you are just going to walk in anyway." Sheldon shook his head as he placed something on the board, "And this is Len-bot."

"No, we agreed we were going to call him Nerd-bot!" Raj exclaimed. "You know, because he is a nerd and because his name is Len-NERD!"

"No Raj," Sheldon said defiantly, "we did not agree to that, you suggested that and I said no. His name is not Len-NERD, its Len-NARD, so calling him Nerd-bot would make no sense. We _could_ call him Nard-bot, but Len-bot sounds better so we are calling him Len-bot."

"Okayyyy," Penny said, her eyes widening. "Can I ask _why_ you decided to turn my boyfriend into a robot?"

Sheldon gave Penny an exasperated look, "Penny, we did not turn your boyfriend into a robot, we simply gave him a robotic presence in our apartment. Trust me, if I _could_ make him into a robot, our lives would be much simpler."

Penny screwed up her face, "How would that make our-" She stopped and shook her head, deciding she didn't want to ask that question and bring on some long, condescending speech. "Nevermind." She walked around the coffee table to Leonards chair and sat on the armrest as she touched and fixed the clothing hanging from the machine. "So is this going to work like it did when you used it? Is he going to be able to move the thing around?"

"No," Howard said as he leant over to place some pieces on the board. "It's just going to have his face on that screen. We could have set it up so that he could remotely control it, but we didn't have the time."

Penny nodded, "Alright." She replied as she continued to touch the hanging clothing. "I didn't think there were any of his tops left in his room."

"There wasn't." Sheldon replied as he put some pieces down. "I had to go into your apartment to retrieve them."

"You went through my stuff?" She asked, her mouth wide in shock. "When?"

"Today, and yes, technically, I was looking through your stuff," He looked up at Penny, "But I was looking for _Leonard's_ stuff, which wasn't hard to find since it was scattered around your room." He sighed. "I hope you are planning on putting all his clothes back before he returns."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah I will." She said then stood up, something in her head reminding her of the reason she was here in the first place. "Sheldon, do you have any pasta?"

"I doubt it, but feel free to look."

Penny checked the cupboards, as the guys continued to set up their game. After a few minutes of searching she heard the sound of Leonard's voice. Surprised and excited, she spun around, looking off in the direction of the 'Len-bot' and grinning like a fool as she made her way around to the front of it.

"Hey, you." Penny said with a quiet, almost shy tone of voice, butterflies forming in her stomach just at the sight of him.

"Hey." He replied and for a brief second they just looked at each other, until another face came into the screen.

Penny's grin faded and her stomach fell as soon as the dark haired woman appeared, her face smiling as she said hello to everyone in her endearing Australian accent.

"Um, guys, this is Karina." Leonard said, looking Penny's way in an effort to gauge her reaction. "Karina, this is Sheldon, Howard, Raj, and my girlfriend Penny."

Penny forced a smile as Howard and Raj greeted the girl with warm words and was about to give her best attempt at the same, when Sheldon spoke.

"Leonard, why is there a girl with you?"

"She wants to play with us. I said she can because I kind of owe her for setting up my internet so we can play this game without the screen freezing on us."

"But this was supposed to be a no girls allowed game!" Sheldon protested and Penny tried her best to hide her amusement, hoping for the first time in her life, that Sheldon would get his own way.

"Sheldon, she's my friend and she wants to play, so she's playing. You guys don't mind do you?" Leonard asked, looking towards Howard, then Raj, then ever so briefly, towards Penny.

Both Howard and Raj gave the same casual response of indifference, and Penny forced herself to give a small smile his way, hopefully deceiving him into thinking she wasn't bothered by it either.

"Alright, I should go and let you guys play. It was nice to meet you," Penny said blankly to the screen.

"Yes, you too, however briefly." Karina replied with a grin and a small laugh.

Penny nodded then glanced over to Leonard, "Bye sweetie." She said, her tone softening. "Call me later okay?" Leonard grinned and nodded, bringing those little butterflies back. "Okay." Penny smiled and began to head towards the door. As she opened it, she briefly turned and said, "Have fun!" Before stepping out and closing the door behind her, letting out a huge sigh as soon as the door was closed.

Jealousy stung at her as she made her way over to her apartment. The simple fact that that girl was on that ship, in the same room as her boyfriend, sitting so close to him that their arms were probably touching, was enough to bring the green eyed monster out in her. She felt her anger begin to build up as she looked through her kitchen for something else to make for lunch now that her plan to make spaghetti was ruined, slamming cupboard doors as she closed them and growling when she found nothing in them she wanted to, or could be bothered to make.

Penny grabbed her already poured glass of wine from earlier and took a large gulp before going to her sofa and sitting down, her blood pumping with adrenaline and her head flooding with jealous, insecure and angry thoughts.

She didn't want to feel this way. She didn't want to hate that girl, just because she was friends with her boyfriend. Part of her knew that she should probably be glad that Leonard had found people on that ship he could relate to, and she was, she just wished he hadn't found it in a woman.

A woman that he could become closer to as each day on that boat passed. A woman that he could find himself attracted to, a woman that he could fall in love with, a woman that could fall in love with him.


	40. Jealousy, Doubt and Irrational Fears

**Okay first, I want to say I was so shocked over the reaction of the last chapter, really didn't expect you guys to enjoy it so much, but im so glad you did! Anyway, on to chapter 40! CHAPTER 40! I still can't believe this thing became this long, and we still have so much longer to go! So yeah, hope you all enjoy this one too. :)**

* * *

**Jealousy, Doubt and Irrational Fears.**

When Amy and Bernadette arrived at Penny's apartment, they were in high spirits; ready for a girly lunch with their best friend.

Amy had, at first, been a little annoyed over the fact that Sheldon hadn't mentioned the whole Dungeons and Dragons night to her, but she understood his need for a day with 'just the boys', after all, she had spent many an evening with only the girls and she couldn't be mad at him for wanting the same. It only really bothered her because of what had happened during the last game they had played together, but she could hardly expect something like that to happen every time they played. Besides, their relationship was slowly moving forward anyway so she had no choice really, but to let it go.

As soon as they knocked on 4b and heard their friend growl at them to come in from the other side of the door, they knew something was up. The girls looked at each other with a small frown, both of them confused over the seemingly huge change in her attitude from when they had last seen or spoken to her.

Cautiously, the girls entered the apartment to Penny standing at her kitchen counter, pouring herself a glass of wine with her face in an obvious scowl.

"Penny? Is everything okay?" Amy asked as the girls slowly walked into her apartment, closing the door behind them.

Penny let out an exasperated sigh as she placed her bottle of wine back down on the counter with an unintended bang. No, everything wasn't okay. For the past fifteen or so minutes her head had gone into overdrive, thinking of all the worst possible things that could come of her boyfriend spending so much time with another woman. The trouble was; she knew all these thoughts were irrational and unfounded. She had no reason to doubt Leonard. Everything that had gone on between them in the past six years told her that he was crazy about her and would never cheat on her. He had even told her those exact words only a few weeks ago, but she still doubted it and she hated herself for it.

"Penny?" Bernadette said, snapping Penny from her thoughts.

"I'm fine." She replied blankly with a dismissive wave as she took a sip of her wine. A huge part of her wanted to spill all of these thoughts to her girls, just to get them out of her head, but she already knew exactly what they would say to her.

"No, you were fine earlier." Amy shook her head as she walked over and sat on the chair beside the sofa, "You were the image of a carefree, relaxed woman with endorphins flooding from your pores. Right now you have a tensed posture and the scowling face of a woman that is certainly _not_ fine. We can only assume that at some point during your day something happened that turned that smile upside down, and us," She nodded towards Bernadette, "being your girlfriends, have a duty to listen to you bitch about whatever angered that beautiful face."

"Yeah…" Bernadette said as she moved to sit down on the sofa, a hint of a frown upon her forehead, "Come on. Tell us, what happened?"

"No, really I'm fine." She said, her tone becoming more agitated, as she took another gulp of her wine.

Bernadette tilted her head, "Penny-"

"Look, would you just drop it!" She barked. "I'm fine. I've told you I'm fine. Why do you always _insist _on trying to get me to talk about stuff when I just don't want to?!" Penny took a deep, shaky breath.

"Is it work?" Amy asked ignoring her angry statement, causing Penny to sigh and roll her eyes.

"Has it got something to do with Leonard?" Bernadette added.

"Did your audition today go badly?"

Penny just shook her head, wishing that her friends would just do as she asked and let it go. She didn't want to talk about it; she knew how crazy her thoughts would sound out loud, but a part of her also needed the release that came with setting your inner thoughts free. Bottling them up, was only making those thoughts more intense.

"Penny, we aren't going to drop it until you tell us what has you so upset." Bernadette said with a soft, yet demanding tone.

"I'm not upset." She replied, taking another sip of wine.

"Well something is bothering you and you better tell us what it is."

Penny took in a deep breath as she looked at her friends. There was no way she was getting out of this. She had to spill what was going on in her head, no matter how unreasonable it may sound. "Alright." She sighed as she turned to her cupboard to grab a couple of glasses and brought them, along with the bottle of wine, down to the sofa, sitting them on the coffee table as she sat down. "I haven't told you, but there's this girl Leonard's been talking to on the ship." Penny looked up and glanced at both the girls, who were just sitting staring at her, waiting for her to continue. "He says she's just a friend – and I believe him – I know he wouldn't cheat on me…" She stopped and looked down at her glass.

"What's the problem then?" Amy asked.

Taking in a breath and looking back up, she continued. "I _know_ he wouldn't. Deep down I _know_ that, but… but something just keeps on niggling at me, making me doubt it." Penny stopped and continued a few seconds later, her tone just that little bit angrier. "I mean, what if something happens. What if… what if they get really drunk one night… or he gets closer to her and decides he wants to kiss her – or something." She shook her head and scoffed. "Ugh, I don't know. It sounds stupid when I say it out loud but it's driving me crazy." Penny took a sip of her drink and stood up, her voice becoming louder and more agitated. "I mean look!" She pointed towards the door, "He is already inviting her to play his stupid little games with him. Next he will be-"

"Wait, what?" Amy asked, "I thought it was a 'boys only' night?"

"Yeah, well, so did I. But apparently that can change for this girl." Penny shook her head and started to pace.

Amy's jaw dropped. "And Sheldon was okay with this?!"

"No, he was pissed off too, but Leonard defended her and said that he owed her! So the guys gave up and let her play!"

"What?!" Amy stood, her voice almost as angry as Penny's. "We need to go over there!"

"Amy, sit down!" Bernadette barked in a voice vaguely reminiscent of Howard's mother. Both Penny and Amy stopped in their tracks and stared at her, before Amy quickly sat back down out of fear and pure shock over Bernadette's sudden outburst.

"Keep talking Penny." Bernadette encouraged, giving Amy a quick glance to make sure she was still in her spot.

Penny then continued to pace the floor of her apartment, sipping on her wine as her anger continued to build. "You know, I don't even see why he likes her so much... Maybe it's the Australian thing." Penny scoffed. "I bet she's all like, 'ooh I'm from Australia _Leonard_. I have a cool accent and I love kangaroos and I spend all my time at the beach riding the waves and catching some sun. I totally love playing all these nerdy games with you _Leonard_, and I can suck on a Tim Tam like a pro.'" Penny scoffed again as she slumped down on the sofa. "Bitch."

"Hold on… What?" Bernadette asked, her face full of confusion. "What on earth is a Tim Tam?"

Penny shook her head. "Nothing. Never mind. It doesn't matter, all that matters is that that girl is over there, wherever they are in the middle of the god damn ocean with _my_ boyfriend. She gets to sit beside him, and laugh, and joke, and play games with him, and touch him, and I can't. I'm his girlfriend and I can't do that stuff. It's not fair. _This_ isn't fair."

"Actually he's in the sea not the-" Amy began, but stopped as soon as Penny and Bernadette shot her a glare. "Um, nevermind."

Both Amy and Bernadette stayed quiet for a few seconds after that, letting Penny calm down a little while they pondered over what to say.

"Penny, Leonard's a good guy, if he says she's just a friend then-" Bernadette began, but Penny cut her off.

"I know!" She exclaimed, sitting up straight again and putting her glass of wine on the table with a thud. "I know that! But… but that could change. Maybe she's just a friend now, but they still have another two and a half months on that stupid ship for that to change. Leonard might be a good guy, but he's still a guy! This is what guys do!"

Sitting back in the sofa again, Penny took a breath, her heart thumping in her chest as adrenaline chorused through her body. Her voice became a little softer, as tears glazed her eyes. "It's what guys have done to me before, so I know that it _could_ happen… and if it does…" She looked briefly to the sky and pursed her lips, trying her best to stop any tears from falling. "I don't think I could take it if it does…" She shook her head and looked down at her hands, her voice almost in a whisper. "I really don't."

"Leonard isn't your ex, Penny." Bernadette replied softly, moving her hand to touch Penny's arm. "Remember that whole thing with Alex? He didn't cheat on you then, even though she was hitting on him. He could have, but he didn't."

"Yeah," Penny scoffed, "He still enjoyed it though."

"His enjoyment came from being pursued Penny." Amy interjected. "Leonard has spent much of his life feeling like he wasn't good enough due to a difficult childhood. Of course he was going to enjoy the fact that someone was attracted to him. The point to remember is that he didn't go anywhere with it. He enjoyed it, but he kept his distance."

Penny stared off in thought for a few seconds as she slowly nodded, then reached forward to pour herself another glass of wine, taking a sip of it as she fell back into the sofa.

She knew this. She knew this was what they would say and although it made her feel a little better, there was still so much on her mind that made her doubt it. Letting out a deep, tearful sigh, she continued. "I understand that. I know how he is…" Penny thought hard for a few seconds as she tried to find the right words to explain how she was feeling. "I know Leonard isn't the cheating type, I _do_ know that. But what if…" Penny looked down towards her wine glass as the thought of saying out loud, the words she was thinking, made her ache. "What if they fall in love?"

"What?" Bernadette asked, reaching her hand out to Penny's arm again.

"They're on this boat for another two and a half months. More than that even." Penny replied, quickly wiping away a few tears before they even fell. "They are going to be spending _so much_ time together. They already _have_ spent so much time together… what if she falls for him."

"That's not going to happen Penny." Bernadette tried to reassure her.

"Why not?" Penny asked, almost defensively, sitting up again. "It happened to me, why not her? The two of them have _so much_ in common, they already get along well. What if she starts to realize how… how wonderful he is?" She shook her head. "She probably already does... She's going to see how sweet he is, and how caring, and funny, and how brilliantly smart he is... If she doesn't already, at some point, she's going to see how cute he can be when he does things and how… how handsome he is. She's going to want to be near him all the time, and touch him, and she might even kiss him on the cheek or give him a hug, _just_ so she can be up close to him." Penny took in another shaky breath and sipped on her wine. "I can't even blame her if she does. She might not even realize that it's happening... I didn't."

Bernadette moved in closer to Penny and put a reassuring arm around her shoulder. "Penny, you're overreacting. All he is doing is playing a game with her. Sure they might spend some time together, but that doesn't mean he's going to fall in love with her. He loves you. This girl… you're right, she could be attracted to him, and she could fall for him, but it makes no difference if she does. He wouldn't do anything about it."

"Bernadette's right Penny." Amy added with a nod, "Leonard, and you, have spent so long trying to get your relationship to where it is now. I don't think either of you want to ruin that."

"Yeah." Bernadette agreed. "Think about it, could _you_ imagine yourself falling in love with someone else right now?"

Frowning into her glass as she pondered Bernadette's question, Penny slowly shook her head as her eyes watered with tears. "No." She replied in a croaked whisper.

"So what would make you think Leonard would?" Bernadette asked, but Penny simply stared into her glass. "Penny it's okay to feel insecure you know. It's perfectly normal to worry about this happening, but you can't let your irrational thoughts outweigh the rational ones. Don't let the 'what ifs' come before what you already know to be true. You know Leonard loves you, Penny. You know he would never do anything to purposely hurt you. You know that," Bernadette gave her a small smile and a soft squeeze on her arm. "So stop worrying."

"And you know," Amy added, "if it would make you feel better, we could go over there and give her a real 'don't mess with my man' talking to. We could do what you taught us and make a scene that would make it clear to that girl that Leonard is not for her!"

Penny couldn't help the smile that covered her face at Amy's determination. "We aren't going to do that Amy." She said with a half-hearted laugh as she sat back in her sofa. "God I feel like such an idiot. Why do I keep letting stuff like this get to me? It never used to."

"I think you know the answer to that one. I just don't think you like to admit it."

Penny frowned at Bernadette, before letting her head drift off, pondering the possibilities of what Bernadette had meant. Why was this sort of thing bothering her so much? At first she continued to tell herself she didn't know until she listened to what her heart told her; she loved him. It was such a simple answer and one that she already knew. She was scared of him leaving her for someone else - someone better – because she was in love and terrified of losing him.

"I don't want to lose him." She whispered, her voice cracking again. "I _can't_ lose him."

"And you won't." Bernadette replied with a smile.

There was a few seconds of quiet as Penny regained her composure, but it was interrupted by her phone buzzing on her table. After jumping slightly at the abrupt noise, she reached over and smiled. "It's Leonard."

Both Amy and Bernadette looked at each other, before standing up. "We will go. Call if you need us okay?"

Penny smiled and nodded. "Thank you." She said before standing up with them and giving each girl a tight hug. "Oh and Amy," She said when she broke away from her, still holding her by the shoulders, "Sheldon really wasn't impressed with having her play with them. He really did want it to be just a 'boys night', so you know, there's no reason to be mad at him."

Amy smiled and nodded before following Bernadette out the apartment, closing the door behind her.

As soon as they were gone, Penny took a breath and cleared her throat; attempting to remove any evidence of how upset she had just been, and answered her phone. "Hey sweetie." She said as cheerfully as she could. "How was your game? Did you all kill the big ogres?"

"Hey honey." Leonard replied and then chuckled, "There wasn't any ogres this time. And, Um… well, the game was good, but it isn't finished yet."

"Oh, are you taking a break?"

"No, uh… the game is still going now; I'm just not in it."

"What?" She frowned. "Why not?"

"I died."

Penny let out a small laugh as she walked over to her sofa. "Aww, you poor baby!" She cooed as she lay down with her head on the arm rest. "What happened?"

"Well, I took my chances against a fire breathing dragon sounded suspiciously like Mr T."

"Ahh," Penny laughed, "I guess Howard was Dungeon Master again?"

"Of course, Sheldon wouldn't have it any other way." He chuckled. "He _was_ pretty good though. _I pity the fool that steps in my castle! I do! I do!" _He added, giving his best attempt at a Mr T voice, causing Penny to burst into laughter. "Anyway, I used my Two-Handed Fullblade and stabbed him in the heart, thinking it was his weak spot, but I was wrong. So yeah, I died."

Penny smiled. "Well, good."

"Wow, thanks for the support." Leonard joked.

Laughing, Penny replied, "Oh, no, I mean, I'm glad that you are here talking to me, not that you died in your game."

"Well that's alright then." He replied, and then all was quiet for a few seconds. "You um… You were alright with Karina playing with us tonight, weren't you?"

Penny was slight taken aback by the question and wasn't sure how to respond. She didn't want to lie to him and say it didn't bother her, but she didn't want to tell him the truth either, and risk him thinking, once again, that she didn't trust him. The fact that she felt much better about the whole situation already, because of Bernadette and Amy's input, decided it for her.

"No. It's fine." She said quietly.

"You're sure?" He asked doubtfully.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay… It's just… you seemed a little, I dunno – upset – when she appeared on screen. You do remember what I told you right? You know nothing is going to happen with her? She's just my friend. Like Paul is, except she's a girl."

Penny let out a soft laugh at Leonard last sentence, "I know."

"Okay, good. I was worried for a second there, I thought you might have freaked out a little, like you did the last time."

There was a silence for a few moments as Penny took in those words, feeling slightly guilty over the fact that she wasn't being completely honest with him.

"You did, didn't you?" Leonard asked, as though he could tell through the phone something was up.

"Just a little bit." She said in a shy, quiet voice.

"Penny…"

"I know, I know. I just… I don't know." She shook her head. "No, no I do know. Leonard…" She let out a sigh, "I just worry sometimes. I trust you, you know I do. It's just that sometimes it freaks me out that you are getting so close to her, especially when you have so much in common."

"But honey-"

"No, wait, let me finish." She interrupted. "I get scared, sometimes. Because… because I'm scared of losing you." Penny let out a sigh as she tried to make sense of what she was trying to tell him. The words in her head not coming out as smoothly as she wanted them to. "The thing is… sometimes I think… I _know_ that you're too good for me. And that you could do so much better than me and… and that's why I get scared of losing you to someone better…I think that's why I got so freaked out when Alex came along and why it bothers me that you are spending so much time with this Karina girl." Letting out another deep sigh, she continued. "I don't want to lose you Leonard. And I think part of the reason I get so… upset over stuff like this, is because it makes me realize just how terrified I am of that happening."

Leonard was quiet for a few moments; partly because he was waiting to see if she had more to say, and partly because he was in shock over her sudden burst of emotion. Eventually he spoke, when it was clear she had nothing more to say, "You don't have to be afraid of that happening." He quietly said then gave a small sigh. "Honey, I don't think you really realize just how much I love you. I mean… me? Leaving you, for someone else? That just isn't going to happen. I'm yours for as long as you want me."

Penny smiled. _For as long as you want me._ The words made her tingle, so much that she just said the first thing that came into her head. "Good... Does that mean I can have you forever?"

As soon as the words left her mouth her eyes widened and her heart almost stopped. She had never said anything like that to him before and she knew exactly what would be going through his mind after hearing them. In those few seconds she tried to think of something else to say that would hopefully take his mind away from that word, but her mind went blank. She wasn't even sure why she was panicking so much, she had just told him with ease that she didn't want to lose him and surely that meant she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life.

Saying it like that though, 'for the rest of her life' was the part that freaked her out, for reasons she still didn't really understand. "Leonard… I…"

"Relax Penny." He replied. He knew from the silence and the slight gasp she had let out after that sentence, that the words she had spoken had surprised her. They had surprised him. He was certain he had never heard her say something like that to him before and although a huge part of him wanted to jump for joy, another part knew that those words had freaked her out. She still wasn't ready to talk about forever, and it made him wonder how much longer he would have to wait before she was. "It's okay." He quietly said.

Penny felt her eyes well up again. He was always so understanding, even when he shouldn't be. She knew that there was every chance he could have pressed the issue, he could have asked her what she meant and if she really meant it. She did mean it, and she knew he deserved to know. "Leonard… I do mean it, you know. It's just…"

"I know." He softly replied. "You aren't ready to talk about it. I know... It's okay, I understand."

Leonard knew deep down that he wasn't being honest; he _didn't_ understand it. He still couldn't figure out why talking about their future was something she was uncomfortable with, especially after she all but told him she never wanted to lose him. The only part he understood was that she needed time. He didn't know how much time she would actually need, but it didn't matter; he would wait. He was ready for her when she wanted to make the next step, and he would wait as long as he had to for her to make it, because she was worth it.

Leonard smiled. "So, how did your audition go?" He asked, attempting to move the conversation on.

Penny closed her eyes, stopping any tears from falling and grinned. "It was good…" She said then stopped. She didn't want to let that conversation go just yet, there was one more thing he should know first. "Honey… I love you." She took a deep, shaky breath. "And… I'm getting there. I promise you; I'm getting there."


	41. One Hug'

**Sorry this took so long to get out! I've become very easily distracted lately. Blame a mixture of work, going out, excitement for the new season starting (yay!) and twitter. They have each had a part to play in these chapters taking so long to come out! Anyway, i hope you enjot it and remember those reviews my lovelies ;) **

* * *

**'One Hug'**

Penny and Sheldon walked up the stairs together, both of them wearing their camouflage paintball gear, both of them covered in paint, and both of them slumped over, making their defeat that day all the more obvious.

"You do realize if we had stuck to my plan, we wouldn't have lost today." Sheldon whined as they walked from the second to third floor.

"Your _plan_?" Penny replied, eyes wide. "Your plan consisted of you staying inside the hideout while Howard, Raj and I done all the work!"

"Yes, and if we had stuck to that plan, I wouldn't have gotten shot. Four times. Once on my shoulder." He touched his left hand to his throbbing right shoulder. "That is going to bruise by the way."

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "Sheldon, sweetie, keep on complaining and you will have more than one bruise to complain about."

Sheldon frowned in Penny's direction and she glared back, letting him know that she wasn't kidding.

"Anyway, you're not the only one that got hit." She added as she rubbed at the paint stain on the small of her back that covered what she was sure would soon be a huge bruise.

When they reached their floor Penny headed towards her door, turning around once she was a few feet away, her keys jingling in her hand. "So, what are your plans tonight Sheldon?"

"Well, today is the third Thursday of the month, so-"

"Ahh, date night." She replied with a nod, before a longing expression filled her face. "I miss date night."

Frowning, Sheldon turned to her. "You were never a part of date night."

"Not _your_ date night." Penny rolled her eyes and shook her head, "My _own_ date nights; with Leonard." She grinned, "You know, going out for dinner, going dancing or for walks in the park or the beach… Oh!" She said, excitement flooding her, "Or going to the fun fair! I used to _love_ going to the fair with him! He was always so scared of the big rides," She laughed, "It was so adorable, and he would spend ages on those silly games trying to win the big soft toys. Oh and-" Penny stopped talking when she took note of just how excited she was getting, as well as the unimpressed frown upon Sheldon's face. "Nevermind... So... what are you doing for your date night?"

Sheldon thought hard for a few seconds, "I'm not sure." He replied, before his face suddenly broke into a wide grin. "All I know is that Amy is coming over and she is making me spaghetti with the little hot dogs cut up in it."

"Wow, that sounds like fun." She replied, sarcasm dripping throughout her tone. It certainly didn't sound like what she would consider a 'fun' night, but she couldn't help but feel a tad jealous. Her evening wasn't going to be spent with anyone. She was going to eat dinner on her own and watch television on her own until later on in the evening when she and Leonard had agreed to Skype. Right now, Sheldon, the almost insufferable weirdo that lived across the hall from her, had a better social life than she did.

"It _will_ be fun." Sheldon smiled, completely oblivious to the sarcasm she had said those words with. "Its spaghetti with hot dogs cut up in it." He repeated excitedly before opening his door. "Goodbye Penny."

"Bye Sheldon." Penny replied with a hint of a laugh at how excited he got over the silliest things, before forgetting about it and going home.

Once inside his apartment, Sheldon headed straight for the shower to wash off any dirt or paint that his skin may have had contact with and then he headed for his spot and turned on the television, settling on watching re-runs of Doctor Who until Amy arrived.

He was quite contented sitting there on his own with nothing but the television keeping him company. He had finally gotten used to spending most of his time in that apartment alone, although there were still moments when he missed the presence of his best friend. He did sort of miss the idle chatter, however he was beginning to really enjoy having the apartment to himself. He no longer had to suffer through any of Leonard's programmes, Babylon 5 being the main culprit, and he no longer had to fight to keep the rules of the roommate agreement in-tact.

He saw less of Howard and Raj, which depending on his mood, could be both a good and bad thing. Most of Howard's free time was now spent taking Raj to various bars and trying to show him how to pick up girls, well, as much as Howard could _actually_ show him anyway. However, he saw a lot more of Amy, and Penny for that matter, although his time spent with Amy was without a doubt much more pleasant.

Tonight was going to be their third date night - including Amy's birthday dinner - that they would spend together since Leonard had left and he was quite looking forward to it. Not just because of Amy's promise to cook him his favourite meal, but simply because he was looking forward to spending time with her.

As he sat, he wondered how they would spend their evening. He had suggested that they spend the evening at the cinema, without objection to any hand-holding that Amy may have wanted to participate in, but she had declined. He had to admit he was disappointed, mainly because it still bothered him that she had seen the new Superman movie when he hadn't, and he was hoping they could fix that tonight. Although, as he looked off in the direction of the window to the 6 foot Superman cut-out standing proudly in front of it, he had to admit he was happy she had gotten him a souvenir from her experience. He looked so cool, looking over the apartment from his spot in the corner. Leonard would be pleased with the new addition, he was sure of it.

The lack of planning for the evening was strange, because Amy almost always had something in mind for them to do, but today she had told him nothing of any plans, except from the detail of his spaghetti dinner. At least that excluded the possibility that she wanted to go _out_ for dinner.

The last time she had done this, was over a year ago when she set out on her agenda of making him more attached to her. Sheldon shook his head as he breathed a small laugh, little did he know at the time, just how well that plan of hers would work.

Maybe her plan for this evening included furthering that agenda. Maybe by making him his favourite meal again, she was hoping to cement his attachment to her. Sheldon panicked for a split second before shrugging it off, if that was her plan, so be it. At least he would be getting a good meal out of it.

Minutes later, a knock on his door pulled him from his deep thoughts. He glanced at his watch, certain that she must be early because he had barely felt the time move since he had gotten back from paintball with Penny, but upon inspection, he saw that she was on time. A few minutes late in fact. He should chastise her for that, he thought as he walked up and opened the door.

"Hello Sheldon, sorry I'm late!" Amy exclaimed as she walked past him and straight to the kitchen to put down the good-sized glass bowl full of pasta. "I had to do my duty as best-friend and check on Penny before I came over."

Sheldon had barely been listening to her, too caught up in the wonderful aromas of the food that was inside that bowl. "Oh, that's alright." He said as he shut his door, and then frowned as he registered his answer. His own complacency towards her tardiness surprised him, but once again, he shrugged it off.

"I see you have finally decided on a spot for Superman." Amy said as she put the cold pasta in the oven to be heated.

"Ah, yes. It took some time but I'm finally satisfied." He replied as he followed her to the kitchen. "He certainly is a great addition to what Howard would call 'Nerdvana'. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I thought he would fit in better here, he just didn't seem at home in my apartment. Anyway, he would only serve as a climbing post to any of the test monkeys I brought home so at least he won't get his face scratched off here."

Sheldon nodded knowingly. He had seen how Amy had tried to fit the large figure in her home and he had to agree, he just seemed out of place. "So, what is the plan for tonight?"

"There is no plan." Amy shrugged as Sheldon eyed her suspiciously. "What?" She asked as he continued to eye her and then sighed, "Fine. There is one thing I would like to discuss."

Sheldon nodded. "I knew that you were up to something Amy Farrah Fowler!" He said triumphantly as he moved to sit on his spot and awaited whatever it was she wanted to discuss.

Amy followed suit and sat in the spot beside Sheldon, taking off her shoulder bag as she sat down. "Alright, well as you know a few weeks ago you presented me with Sheldon Cooper Coupons."

"Yes." He cautiously nodded as his stomach began to churn slightly. He had almost forgotten about those.

"Well, I would like to use up my first one." She said as she reached into her bag and pulled out the laminated set of cards and handed him one.

"One hug?" He asked as he studied the card.

"Yes."

"You're sure this is the one you would like to begin with?" Sheldon asked, hoping he could change her mind to one of the others; one of the easier ones. "The one with an evening watching a movie seems particularly intriguing right now... Not that it would be my choice, but, I happen to know that Wolverine has recently been released and you ask anyone; that is a hot date." Sheldon finished with a hopeful grin.

"No. This is the one I choose." Amy boldly replied.

"Alright." Sheldon sighed, "I assume you remember the 48 hour rule which states that this cannot be carried out for another two days."

"I do. In fact I am willing to give you more than 48 hours. I will come over on Sunday evening." The second Amy stopped talking, the oven made a pinging sound, indicating that the pasta inside it was done.

"Okay, I guess I have no choice but to agree." He said with a shrug as he and Amy made their way to the kitchen. "Mmm, this smells good!" He said with a childlike grin as he excitedly stared at the food as Amy pulled it out of the oven and began to plate it up.

The rest of their evening was spent eating their dinner, watching television and having in depth discussions about almost anything. It was completely unlike a usual date night at all, in fact, it was a night similar to those they had almost every other day. It was a relaxing evening, with no pressure for either of them.

A few hours passed before they said their goodbyes at the door, knowing that in a matter of hours, she would be back in that spot again, picking him up to take him to work, and both of them were more than happy about that.

Amy left the apartment that evening, feeling much more at ease than when she had arrived. She had been on edge about bringing up the coupons, because ever since the moment Sheldon had given them to her, not a word had been said about them. It had gone better than she had expected though. There had been barely any resistance from him, which sort of made sense, since the coupons were his idea. That had to mean he had anticipated actually doing each and every one of them at some point.

Walking to her car, her grin widened as she wondered which one she would use next, before quickly stopping her own train of thought, willing herself not to get carried away and focus on the one she had just presented first.

She wondered how it would be, if Sheldon would be nervous or if he would treat it just like he would some scientific experiment. She didn't care really, all she wanted was for him to try. For all he knew, he may end up liking it.

* * *

Leonard entered his room after he had finished up in his lab, just a little after five o'clock, and let out a deep sigh as soon as his door was shut and he saw that his room was empty.

He hated this part of the day. He hated leaving his lab and coming back here, especially when the room was as it was now; empty. His temporary home wasn't exactly the worst place in the world, it had all the amenities he could want, a few friends to keep him sane and a good amount of space that allowed him some time to breathe when he needed it, but it lacked the warmth and comfort of back home.

It was in these moments that certain things would hit him, reminding him of what he missed back in Pasadena. Simple things, like that little bowl at the side of his door that he could throw his keys into as soon as he walked into his apartment, and important things, like Penny and his friends. It was a feeling that had been growing in him over the past couple of weeks, and one that he felt right now, almost seven weeks into his trip, was at its worst, although he was sure it wasn't going to get any easier.

He never knew quite what to do with himself at this time. The excitement of getting to know his surroundings, spending time in different places and exploring the ship, was gone. He had been everywhere, he had done everything and the novelty of it had worn off, leaving him to dwell over thoughts of what he would be doing if he were at home.

Walking in from work, back in Pasadena, he would have had Sheldon in his ear, yattering away about something or other as they settled back into their apartment, before he would either leave to see Penny, or she would come to him; her work schedule permitting of course. If it was one of those days when Penny was working, he would have either hung out with Sheldon, relaxed on his sofa with one of his favourite programmes, or Howard or Raj, or maybe even both of them would have come over and they may have played some board or card game together. There was always something happening back home, which just made these moments even more empty.

Leonard removed his laptop bag from around his shoulder and placed it on the floor beside his desk before going to sit on the edge of his bed. Taking in a few breaths, he looked around his shared room for inspiration on how to fill the hours in between now and going to sleep. It was always easier when he had a Skype call planned with Penny in the evening. In fact it was easier when he had a Skype call planned with _anyone_ in the evening. It always gave him something to look forward too, but today, he had nothing. He already had his call with Penny this morning, and although he knew he could call her if he wanted; he felt that he shouldn't. It would be Friday morning back in Pasadena, and he didn't want to wake her up early on one of the days she got to sleep in; he knew how much she loved her sleep, and he knew how much she was missing her lie ins now that she had Sheldon to cater to every now and again.

Standing up from his bed, he walked over to the small living area that consisted of a sofa and a television. He sat down and turned on the television before flicking through the channels, looking for something – anything – that he could watch to pass the time. The television signal still wasn't at its best though, so he only had a few channels to choose from, and neither one interested him at all. Turning the television off and standing up again, he walked over to his desk and sat down before pulling his laptop out of his bag. As he sat it on his desk and waited on it to boot up, he relaxed back in his chair as his eyes wandered over to the various happy photographs of his friends and loved ones back home, that were scattered across the table. Leonard suddenly felt his whole body sink. His stomach fell and his chest tightened and in that second, he almost choked up.

All those photographs did, was remind him that the time he was spending alone right now, was time that would usually be shared with at least one of those people, and that made him feel as cold and empty as this room was. He felt alone, truly alone for the first time since he entered this ship, even although he was surrounded by people.

He had Paul; his lively and talkative roommate that he was beginning to consider a real friend. Paul would almost constantly talk to him about absolutely anything, still managing to make him laugh with all the odd phrases he would use, and that would usually keep his mind occupied for much of the rest of the day, stopping him from falling into a pit of loneliness, a little like what he was beginning to do now.

He had Karina too. Even with all the trouble his friendship with her had caused, he was still glad he had her around. He was almost certain he would have gotten sick of Paul by now if he didn't have Karina to run off to every now and again, plus she was the only one he could indulge his nerdy side with.

He had colleagues too, people that he worked on his experiments with, people that he enjoyed spending time with and would almost consider friends too. Most of his time on this ship, was time that he enjoyed with all those people. He loved the fact that he was out here doing experiments in the middle of the sea, working for one of the greatest minds in the world, and while he was working in his lab, these sorts of things didn't bother him. It was only in these quiet, lonely moments that he would crave the presence of not only his girlfriend, but his closest friends too.

He missed Sheldon. That was something that still surprised him. After spending a good part of his life being around him, working to his schedule and doing things for and with him, he found that not having him here and dependant on him, was… odd. He missed the long winded explanations of the simplest things. He missed being challenged by him and to some extent he missed the teasing he would give him, telling Leonard, without a shadow of a doubt, that he was the smartest man alive and that he, Leonard, would never even come close to being as brilliant as him. It was an odd thing to miss, but still, the egotistical rants were part of who Sheldon was, and he couldn't deny he missed it.

He missed Howard and Raj too; watching the two of them bicker, weirdly, like an old married couple was something that had kept him entertained for years. For a second he wondered what it would be like going back, and being able to see Raj talk, completely sober, whilst Penny or any of the girls were in the room. He had gotten a taste of it when they had played Dungeons and Dragons with Karina, and even then it was weird.

And then there was Penny. She was the one he was reminded of most, and the one, without a doubt, that he missed the most. She was the one his mind instantly went to when he woke up, wishing that she was there beside him. He would wake up almost craving the feeling of her sleeping body beside his, his heart breaking when it dawned on him he couldn't get it. He missed falling asleep with her beside him, making gentle patterns on his chest and nuzzling her face into his neck. He craved her soft touch, her sweet smell and the warmth of her body; things that he just couldn't get over the phone or laptop. He missed taking her out, doing things with her; even when it was the things he hated. He missed laughing with her, arguing with her, kissing her, holding her, and making love to her. He missed snuggling up on the sofa with her as they watched a movie together, and he missed sitting across from her as they ate dinner together.

Over the past few months they had spent so much time together, doing all of those things. They had been almost inseparable and it was like she had been ripped away from him, and it was beginning to take its toll.

Leonard leant forward in his chair, took the framed picture of the both of them from his desk and held it in his lap as he stared longingly down on it. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't give to have her arms wrapped around him and her cheek on his right now; just like they were in that picture. Leonard gave a small sigh as he traced his thumb over the photograph, imagining in his mind that it was her skin his thumb was touching and not the glass of the frame in front of him.

Taking in a deep breath, he put the photograph back down before standing up to retrieve his phone. He needed to speak to her, he needed to hear her voice in his ear and right now, he didn't care whether he woke her up or not. He needed something to pick him up before he sunk even further into the pit of loneliness, and she was the only remedy he had.

As he picked up his bag and hurriedly searched within it for the small object, his door opened and Paul walked in.

"Hey." Paul said with a grin as he closed the door behind him.

"Oh, hey." Leonard replied, "you just finished work?"

"Yeah." He nodded as he headed over to his bed and pulled out a small backpack from under it. "I'm just about to go down to the gym. You wanna come?" He asked as he went to his drawers and began to rifle through them.

Leonard frowned. This was a question Paul had posed to him for the past two weeks, and each time he had declined. It baffled him that he still bothered to ask. "Um, no. I'm okay, thanks." He replied before continuing to search for his phone in his bag.

Paul stopped looking in his drawers and looked stubbornly at Leonard. "Come on man. You can't stay cooped up in here all day. You'll drive yourself mad. You've gotta get some exercise."

"I do get exercise." He protested.

"Walking from your lab to here doesn't count."

"Well it should! It's a long walk!"

"Seriously Leonard," Paul huffed, "what are you going to be doing if you don't come with me?"

"Uh… Um…" Leonard stuttered, trying to search his mind for something that he could pretend he had planned for the evening.

"Uhh… Uhh..." Paul teased. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Just come with me for once. You might as well do something with your spare time that doesn't involve comics or video games or pining for your girlfriend." Leonard frowned, and Paul gave a small smile, letting him know he was only joking. "Listen, I've been there. Okay?" He said, suddenly becoming very serious. "I remember the first time I had to spend months away from my girlfriend. It's hard, but sitting around on your arse doing nothing all day doesn't make it any easier. Come with me, it will take your mind off it for a while."

Leonard began to soften. The words he spoke making sense, but the idea of going to the gym was still one that filled him with dread. "I'm not good at the gym." He sighed, "I've tried it before and almost had a heart attack."

"Alright then." Paul replied with a hint of a chuckle. "Can you swim?"

"...Barely." He mumbled.

"Fine, that's it sorted. We'll go swimming."

Leonard wanted to continue to protest, but if there was one thing he had come to know about Paul, it was that he was almost as stubborn as Penny could be. "Fine." Leonard grumbled as he put his bag back on the floor. "But I didn't bring any swimwear."

"That's cool you can borrow some of mines. Speedos okay?"

Leonard squirmed and Paul broke into laughter. "I'm only joking man, lighten up! Now come on, pack a towel, and remember your inhaler. I don't want you to collapse in the water and drown. I don't wanna have to give you mouth to mouth. I like you, but not that much!"


	42. Awkward, But Perfect

**Sorry this took so long! But the next update won't be far away as most of it is already written. It was supposed to be the second half of this chapter, but I decided to split them in two since it would make this chapter too long. So yeah, it's mostly Shamy, but the Lenny stuff will be in the next one. It's a big moment in the Shamy relationship, so I guess it really deserved its own chapter anyway! :) **

**Awkward, But Perfect.**

Sheldon walked the last few steps on to the fourth floor hallway, his laptop bag around his shoulders packed with his latest purchases from the comic book store, as he fiddled with his keys to find the one for his apartment.

Sheldon's Sunday had been fairly pleasant. The first half of his day was spent as most Sunday's were, watching some television, before giving the apartment the weekly deep cleaning it needed. He then decided, due to the particularly nice weather outside, that he would walk to the comic book store to pass some time before Amy came over later.

Surprisingly, his pending encounter with Amy wasn't at the forefront of his mind. When he had written out those coupons he had expected that the one they were going to act out tonight, and the one for 'One Kiss' would be the most difficult for him to carry out. He had thought he would be nervous, and would spend all of the 48 hours between receiving the coupon and following through on it, obsessing over it, but he wasn't. Of course, he had his brief moment of worry when the subject had arisen, but after some thought, he came to realize it wasn't so bad. It was only a hug. He had already 'cuddled' with her on her sofa, for a significant amount of time, that day she had been left vulnerable after seemingly being rejected by Penny and Bernadette as they went dress shopping without her. This 'one hug' surely wouldn't be as difficult as that. For starters it would only last a few seconds. Three Mississippi's in fact, if he were to believe Leonard's 'standard hug' theory.

Sheldon shook his head as he put his key in his door. He definitely wasn't going to let this hug last any more than five Mississippi's anyway, and run the risk that Amy overthought the gesture just as much as Leonard had.

'_But Penny hugged me for over five Mississippi's guys! That has to mean something!'_

He heard that exact phrase twenty eight times over their period in the North Pole, and he could still hear Leonard's words as clear as he had heard them back then.

Although, now that he thought about it, Leonard's statement had in fact been correct, despite his, and the other guys', protests of the opposite. She had in fact 'meant something' with those extra few seconds, and that only convinced him he wasn't going to let his hug with Amy last any more than three. He didn't want to risk Amy getting the same idea as Leonard and perhaps set about moving their relationship along even faster than it was. One step a month was sufficiently fast for him.

Sheldon turned the key in the door, and was surprised to find that it didn't twist in the lock like it was supposed to; it was already unlocked. He looked curiously at the door for a few seconds, panicking that he his home had been broken into again, before coming to the conclusion that Penny had once again let herself into the apartment, because the lock had been opened with a key, and hadn't been forced.

Sighing, he twisted the door knob and opened the door, fully expecting to see Penny sprawled out on the sofa or sitting in Leonard's chair; just like she usually would be on the days that she decided to let herself in. However all that he saw was Leonard's crumpled up comforter and pillow on his sofa, and a couple of scattered comic books on his coffee table. Giving a small tut and a displeased shake of his head as he removed his bag from around his shoulders and sat it on his desk chair while he studied the rest of his surroundings, trying to figure out where the woman that had left the mess in his apartment had gone.

His first thought was that she was in the bathroom, but after being in his apartment for a couple of minutes and hearing absolutely no noise come from that direction, he ruled it out. Frowning, he began to walk up towards the bedrooms, silently hoping that she hadn't decided to enter his room. People don't go in his room.

Although that mild fear was quickly dismissed too, as he reasoned that Penny would have no reason to go into his room, the more likely explanation was that she was in Leonard's, and upon turning the corner in front of the bathroom, he saw that his reasoning was sound. Leonard's door was cracked open and there was a glimmer of light coming from inside.

Sheldon walked up to the door and stopped, wondering for a second if he was supposed to knock or not. It would only be polite to knock before walking into a room that was occupied, but this was his apartment, and she was here without permission; that wasn't exactly polite, so why should he extend her the same courtesy?

In the end, he knocked, three times, and each time with a call of her name. Just because she was being rude, didn't mean he had to as well.

"Come in." He heard her mumble and swiftly did as she asked.

When he entered the room he saw her sitting cross legged on Leonard's almost bare bed, fiddling with what looked to be Leonard's bat signal.

"Penny, what are you doing?" Sheldon asked as he came to stand at the side of the bed.

Penny looked up at Sheldon, slight panic and fear in her eyes. "I think I broke it." She said before looking back down at the object. "This little thingy won't go back on to this bit."

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Sheldon reached out and took the object from her hands. "How did you do this?" He asked as he began to put it back together. "And more to the point, why are you here?"

Penny narrowed her eyes towards the tall figure, "I can come here if I want, I have a key! Plus this is Leonard's apartment too," She shrugged. "He wouldn't mind me coming here."

"Your key is for emergencies only." Sheldon replied as he looked at the broken object and began to put it back together. "This is not an emergency. There has never been an emergency when you have come over... And do you really think Leonard will be okay with you coming here once he finds out you almost broke his bat signal?"

"He loves me, he'll forgive me." She pouted and smiled when Sheldon gave her a disapproving look; one she was used to receiving. "And anyway, it was an accident. I was pulling out his little box thing of comic books and it got caught on the one beside it, so I yanked it, but I pulled too hard and fell back into his chest of drawers and then it fell." She shrugged, "See; accident." Penny looked up at Sheldon, who was still putting parts of the object together. "Can you fix it?" She asked hopefully.

"You see Penny, this is why I don't let people in my room. People, like you, are clumsy and break things that don't belong to them." He said and shook his head. He then screwed on the top part of the bat signal before switching it on, putting an imprint of the initials LH within the outline of an atom sign on the ceiling. "But no, it appears _this_ time, you haven't broken it."

Penny let out a soft laugh as she looked up at the design. "He has his own personalised bat signal!?"

"He does." Sheldon nodded. "In fact, he done it himself."

"He did?" Penny asked. "_God_ he is such a nerd." She said as she continued to look at the imprint on the ceiling. "Although, that is pretty cool."

Sheldon turned the object off again, before handing it to Penny. "You need to put this back where it belongs, and then you have to leave. Amy's coming over and you can't be here."

"Jeez Sheldon, don't beat around the bush. Say what you really think!" Penny sarcastically retorted as she took the bat signal from Sheldon's hands and switched it on then off again, "And I'm taking this with me. I wanna play with it." She laughed, before getting up from the bed and putting it in the small box along with his comic books and a few of his dvd's.

Sheldon opened his mouth to protest, about to tell her that she couldn't just take what didn't belong to her, but changed his mind almost instantly; she wouldn't listen to him anyway.

He watched on as Penny, armed with a boxful of stuff, headed out of the room and followed her, turning off Leonard's light and shutting the door behind him. When he reached the living area he saw that Penny was just about to open the front door to leave, ignoring the mess she had left behind on the sofa.

"Penny." Sheldon said and when she turned with an inquisitive look on her face, he nodded towards the couch full of stuff.

Penny huffed and rolled her eyes, before putting the box down and walking over to collect the rest of the comic books and dvd's, as well as the pillow and comforter, and stacked them all on top of the small box she had. She slowly picked the box back up, holding the stuff on top of it in place with her chin as she carefully made her way to the front door again.

"Do you need some help?" Sheldon asked, feeling obliged to help the struggling blonde.

"No, it's okay. I've got it." She mumbled as she twisted the door knob, "Bye sweetie. You and Amy have fun!" She said before shutting the door closed with her foot as Sheldon made his way to the sofa to relax until his girlfriend came over.

It wasn't long after Penny had left, that Amy knocked on his door. As soon as he heard it, a wave of excitement hit him, accompanied by a trickle of fear.

Ignoring both emotions and keeping his face as straight as he could, he muted the television and headed to open his door, unable to stop the small smile that curled on to his lips when his eyes met Amy's.

"Hello Sheldon." She chirped as she entered the apartment, removing her bag from around her body and going to sit in the middle of the sofa. "How was your day?"

"Hello Amy." He replied as he closed the door and came over to sit on his spot, beside her, their knees almost touching.

The two of them then contently chatted over the events of one another's Sunday, Amy intentionally deciding not to bring up the subject of the reason she was here in the first place. The way she saw it, she had done her part in telling him she wanted the hug, he was the one who now had to initiate it.

Luckily she didn't have to wait too long for the subject to be brought up as Sheldon's impatience got the better of him. "So, how are we going to do this then?"

"Excuse me?" Amy asked, raising her eyebrows.

"The hug." He stated. "How would you like to proceed?"

Amy frowned. She wasn't sure why she was expecting it to go a lot smoother than this, she should have known Sheldon's approach would be a lot more to the point and almost cold in nature, than spontaneous and romantic. It was even a little awkward. "Umm…" She frowned as Sheldon looked expectantly at her. "How would _you_ like to proceed?"

Sheldon was a little taken aback, he hadn't expected the question to be turned around to him. Usually _Amy_ was the forward one. She was the one who would tell him what _she_ wanted from him, and now it was being turned to him and he just wasn't sure what he wanted to do. What he was _supposed_ to do. In that moment he regretted not preparing more for this moment. "Umm… Well…" He cleared his throat. "First, I think that maybe…. Uhh…. doing this standing up might be more- um… comfortable, than sitting down."

"Alright." Amy said with a nod as she slowly stood up from the sofa, feeling her heart begin to race with anticipation and nerves.

Sheldon stood up with her and they both looked awkwardly at each other for a few seconds.

Amy thought about breaking the awkwardness by just walking up and pulling him into a hug, but changed her mind quickly as she remembered how she wanted this to be initiated by him. They had already hugged on a few occasions, and each time, she was the one to start it. That wasn't going to happen this time. "So, what now?" She quietly asked, her voice shaking just a little.

Sheldon felt his heart begin to beat faster as he realized there was nothing else to do but hug her. Taking a breath in a failed attempt at calming his thumping heart, he stepped a foot closer to her. He shifted awkwardly, glancing around him briefly, almost hoping something would catch his attention that he could use as an excuse to get out of this, but his brain refused to come up with anything. So instead, he looked back at her and raised his arms to awkwardly hover beside her waist, before taking another breath and stiffly placing them around her.

Amy was stunned by how quickly he had put his arms around her, although to most people's standards it wasn't quick at all. Part of her had expected to be standing there for at least a few minutes before he would find the courage to do it.

She stood there, frozen in shock for a split second, before putting her own arms around his back, pulling him just that bit closer to her as she rested the side of her head just under his shoulder. She could feel how tense his whole body became at her movement, but he didn't pull away.

Sheldon held on, fighting past the voice within him that told him he shouldn't be this close to another human being and urged him to pull away. Thoughts of all the germs that could be passed, and memories of those times he had caught the flu from Penny because of this exact thing, flashed through his mind, but he continued to ignore them and willed himself to relax.

He closed his eyes tightly and slowly counted in his head.

_One Mississippi,_

He took a breath.

_Two Mississippi,_

He took another, feeling his body slowly wash over with a sense of calm as his heart rate began to return to normal.

_Three Mississippi,_

He took another breath and his muscles relaxed further as he exhaled; surrendering to the comfort the feeling of her arms around him gave him.

_Four Mississippi. Five Mississippi,_

He continued to count, and knew that he had exceeded the time limit he had agreed with himself earlier, but he refused to let go. He didn't want to. Being in her arms, having her heart beat so close to his, and her head gently resting beneath his shoulder, filled his entire body with a warmth he had previously not known.

_Six Mississippi. Seven Mississippi,_

He tightened his arms around her, his eyes still shut, and gently rested the side of his head on hers, becoming almost lost in the tranquillity of the moment. As he took another breath, breathing in the scent of her perfume mixed with her shampoo.

He could have stayed there all evening, but something in his subconscious told him that this had gone on long enough. He still refused to let go though, telling himself he couldn't let her go on an odd number, that just wouldn't be right. So he continued to count as he relaxed in her embrace.

_Eight Mississippi, nine Mississippi…. Ten… Mississippi._

Slowly, he opened his eyes, the harsh, bright light of his apartment stinging his eyes as they adjusted back to normal. He cleared his throat as he softly moved his arms from the tight embrace as he took one small step back.

Amy's eyes glistened up at him through the frames of her glasses, showing all the emotion that he was certain must be showing in his. If he were to describe that emotion, he would call it adoration, or even… love.

Neither of them spoke for a few seconds, but unlike the first few moments before their hug, this part wasn't awkward. The soothing feeling of the hug they had just experienced was still too prominent for them to feel anything other than content and happy.

A small smile appeared on her face and as she slid her arms away from his back and back to her side, he couldn't help but feel a little disappointment. He was sure in his mind that if she had moved closer to him again and put her head back on his shoulder, he would have, once again, surrendered to her embrace.

Amy continued to smile at him as she stepped back, more than satisfied with what had transpired. It had been almost magical, and once again he had exceeded her expectations. He really did hug her back, and it wasn't just a friendly hug either. It had lasted a significant amount of time, and she was sure she had felt him breathe in her scent as he held her. It was definitely a hug that would be categorised as 'romantic', and that hadn't even been a stated requirement in the coupon. It was an added bonus, one that _he_ added.

Their eyes stayed locked even as they slowly stepped away from each other, Amy being the first one to break the eye contact as she slowly turned and made her way to the kitchen.

Sheldon was beyond confused. He wasn't entirely sure what was supposed to happen now, but he had expected some sort of comment on her part. Maybe he had done it wrong. Maybe he hadn't carried out the hug to a standard that she was satisfied with. Everything he had seen in her eyes had told him differently, yet the fact that she simply turned and walked away from him, filled him with doubt.

Sheldon's eyes followed her to the kitchen, and when she turned to look at him, kettle in hand, he gave her an inquisitive stare, one that Amy knew was directed at the fact she had said nothing of what had just happened between them. She knew that look meant he needed some sort of validation that she had found the hug to be satisfactory, but Amy refused to answer his silent question until he actually found the courage to ask her.

"Tea?" She asked as she nodded towards the kettle.

"Um..." He cleared his throat. "Uh… yes. Please. Thank you." He replied as he walked towards the kitchen counter and sat down on one of the stools while he watched Amy prepare his tea, just the way he liked it.

After a few minutes she placed the steaming hot cup down in front of him, grinning at the slight look of confusion in his eyes.

"Thank you." He said again as Amy sat on the opposite side to him.

"You're welcome." She nodded, before taking a sip of her tea, her eyes locked on his the whole time as she wondered how long it would take him before he just asked her what she could tell he was itching too.

He took a sip of his tea, looked up at her for a few seconds, and then took another.

"How is it?" Amy asked softly.

Giving a barely there smile he replied, "Perfect."

Something in the way he had said it, told her he was talking about more than just the tea. Amy grinned in return and stared deep into his shining blue eyes, she couldn't have described it better herself. "Yeah," She nodded. "Perfect."


	43. Her Special Man

**Her Special Man**

Penny's Sunday evening, was probably the nerdiest evening of her life. When she had gotten back from Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, she had thrown Leonard's comforter on to her sofa, and put the box containing Leonard's comics, DVDs and bat signal on her table, before going to her room to get changed out of her everyday clothes, and into her sweatpants and one of Leonard's t-shirts, the green recycle one – her favourite.

Once changed, she went to her cupboard as she tied her hair in a loose bun, and grabbed a wine glass and a bottle from the top of her fridge, before heading to the sofa to curl up under his covers, her calves bent back behind her. She poured herself a small glass of wine and then began to sift through his comics, reading through whichever ones caught her eye.

After that she picked up his bat signal, and carefully turned it on, still a little worried that she might break it again, as she shone the unique design on to her wall. She smiled at the symbol, wondering why he hadn't told her about it, especially with all the other nerdy stuff he told her about on a daily basis, she thought this would be something he would have brought up at _least_ once.

The thought was dismissed rather quickly though, as she turned it off and set about looking through the DVDs she had taken from Leonard's room. After some consideration, and a little bit of randomised decision making, she selected 'The Dark Knight' to watch. The fact that she had spent a part of the night playing with Leonard's bat signal was possibly part of the reason behind her pulling towards that one.

Holding her glass of wine close to her, she curled further into the sheets, putting Leonard's pillow on the armrest to lie her head on as she snuggled up to watch the movie.

As the film started, she felt a comfort that she only ever felt when Leonard was around, which was odd to her because he was miles away.

It was in that moment, as the first few scenes played out, that she remembered she had seen this film before. She had watched it with Leonard, once, maybe even twice, but had paid very little, to no attention to it, and she figured that that was probably why it was giving her this warm feeling inside. She smiled as her mind drifted off, the vague memory of the words being spoken on screen, pulling her back to the first time she had heard them, lying on this couch with her head on Leonard's chest, his arm draped over her. She could remember watching the television in front of her and hearing the words being said, but her mind had stayed focused on his steady heartbeat, gently thumping beside her head, and the feeling of him slowly grazing his thumb and fingers over the top of her arm, as she played with the material of his t-shirt and made patterns on his stomach.

Her smile widened as she suddenly remembered that he had been wearing _this_ t-shirt that day – the one she was wearing now. She could recall tracing her finger over the shape of the recycle logo, once it had gotten so far into the film that she had completely lost track of what was happening. There was a freaky looking clown terrorizing the city and Batman wasn't happy about it; that was the most she knew.

Penny snuggled down further into the sheets, smiling at the memories of him that the simplest things brought with them. Normally when this sort of thing happened, she would feel down and upset, almost to the point that it brought her to tears, as she craved those things that she just couldn't have with him right now, but instead, today, those things comforted her.

This was something she had been feeling almost all day, but her day hadn't started out very well. She had slept too long due to being exhausted after her late bar shift that Saturday night, and it had caused her to have little time to fully wake up before she had to go back in for the lunch shift at midday. She had been cranky with customers and very snappy with her boss and co-workers, but luckily for her, her colleagues had become accustomed to this behaviour of late, so paid little attention to it.

The customers weren't so forgiving however, and had shown how dissatisfied they were with her attitude in their tips. But at a certain point, almost half way through her shift, her mood changed, and it was all because of a little bespectacled boy, no more than five or six years old, that had gotten upset because he couldn't have any cheesecake due to the fact that he was lactose intolerant.

Penny had wondered at the time, what had possessed the parents of that little boy to take him here; The Cheesecake Factory, when he wouldn't be able to try the desert they were famous for. But if there was one thing she has learned as a waitress it was not to judge the people she was serving; there had to be a reason they had come here, she just wasn't aware of it.

Instead, she tilted her head and gave a sympathetic look towards the boy that was looking down at his lap, on the verge of tears, if not already crying; she wasn't sure, his medium length dark blonde hair was covering up too much of his eyes to tell. His mother was hunched over beside him, gently rubbing his back as she craned her neck to look at his face, soothingly telling him all the things he could have instead.

The little boy refused to look up however, ignoring his mother's comments as he sniffled and stubbornly crossed his arms in front of him. Penny smiled inside, her parents had told her stories of how she would do that as a child too, mixed in with some stomping of her feet, as she would narrow her eyes and scrunch up her face in anger at whatever it was her parents either weren't letting her do, or were trying to _get_ her to do, at the time.

Penny was used to this sort of thing; she had seen more than her fair share of upset children since working here. There had been ones that would fight and scream and cry, much in the way her parents had told her she had, simply because they couldn't get to sit at the table they wanted to sit at. There had been ones that would refuse to eat anything on the menu and ones that just obviously weren't happy, probably because they had been forced to come here when they would rather be doing something else. Each time this happened she reacted in the same way. A maternal instinct would take over, much in the same way it did at times with Sheldon, and she would bend down to the child's height, and do her best to help make them feel better, partly because she wanted to, and partly because she just wanted to get them to stop moaning and pick something to eat so she could get their order done as quickly as possible.

She had never felt that feeling as strong as she had in that moment though, with that little lactose intolerant child, his cute little glasses slightly similar to those of a certain experimental physicist, and she knew instantly why that was. A niggling voice in her head, one that she tried her best to ignore but simply couldn't, told her that if one day she and Leonard had a little boy, he would probably look pretty similar to the one in front of her now. He would probably act the same too, if he inherited her personality traits. That thought sent a wave of fear through her, but to her surprise, it was massively overpowered by the butterflies in her stomach and a warm feeling in her heart.

Shaking her head a little and pushing that thought back as far as she could for now, she done what she usually did in that situation. She bent down so she was eye-level with the boy, and softly asked him what his name was. The boy had turned to her, like they always did, wondering who the new voice he was hearing was coming from, and frowned as he quietly told her with a sniffle, that his name was Daniel, before looking to his lap again, his arms still tightly crossed.

Penny had then went on to tell him that she knew someone that was lactose intolerant too, just like him, and at that statement the little boy snapped his head back over to her, his teary light brown eyes with traces of red around them, staring at her with the kind of curiosity only a child could have. 'You do?' He had asked; his tear stained face full of doubt.

'Yup.' She had replied with a smile, before going on to tell him that the person she knew that had it, was a really special man, an incredibly smart man, a very handsome man, and that that must mean _he_ was really special, and would grow up to be all those things too.

The boy had stared at her, his eyes still full of doubt for a few seconds as his little brain processed what she had said. Slowly a smile appeared on his face as his arms loosened around him and those teary eyes shined. 'Really?' He asked, a glimmer of excitement in his voice. Penny nodded again and gave the little boy a wink and shuffled his hair before reaching to the menu and telling him with all the excitement she could muster about all the different things he was able to eat instead. After some deliberation, he chose the apple pie, and Penny grinned and stood up, receiving thankful looks from his parents before taking their order too and walking off, her smile widening as she headed to the kitchen, a spring now in her step.

Penny's whole attitude to her day changed after that little exchange. She couldn't tell if it was because of the huge smile the little boy had given her when she had told him that being lactose intolerant made him special, or if it was the fact that she had been reminded of Leonard and had gotten to gush to people she didn't know about how special he was. It could also have been because of the butterflies she had gotten after thinking, even for a split second, about her future with Leonard. She very rarely got butterflies at those thoughts. Normally she would just panic, close up and shrug it off as something meaningless, but not today. For some reason today she knew it meant more than she even understood. She knew there was a reason that the idea of imagining her children with Leonard didn't scare her, when she knew the thought of marriage and 'forever' still did. It didn't make sense, it was completely illogical, yet she still smiled, because one thought kept popping up in her head; their children will be adorable.

It didn't really matter which one of those things had put her in that good mood, because after that moment, she continued to see or hear things that brought out more memories of that special man of hers, and each one made her day that little bit better.

It was after her shift had finished that she had decided the only way she wanted to spend the rest of that day, was surrounded by everything 'Leonard', just to ensure those warm feelings continued to come, and they did.

And they were still there now, stronger than ever, as she lay on her sofa, curled up under his blanket, watching his movie with his geeky stuff on her coffee table. She was without him, but having everything around her that summed up part of who he was, made that bearable. That and the fact she knew she didn't have too long to wait until he was back.

Penny put her glass of wine on her table, and pulled the covers up under her chin as she focused her attention on the television, a smile on her face as she decided it was about time she watched it properly, and figured out what the hell was going on in it.

A couple of hours later, just as what she assumed were the last scenes of the movie played, her phone vibrated and played a tune on her coffee table. Penny's attention instantly went from the television screen to her phone, buzzing with her usual reminder that she had to call Leonard. She always set it on the nights when she was to call him, just in case she fell asleep and needed to be woken up. To this day she still hadn't needed it and somewhere deep down she knew she never really would.

Reaching over to her phone, the bottom half of her body still placed firmly on the sofa, she turned off her phone's alarm and got her laptop from the shelf beneath the table.

She sat the laptop on her lap and her elbow on her armrest, cradling her head in her hand as she waited on her laptop to connect with his, those butterflies appearing once again, although these were ones she was used to.

Eventually the ringing stopped, and in a much clearer picture than she had had for most of his time away, something she had to reluctantly thank Karina for, she saw a man that wasn't Leonard in front of her. This man had fair, almost light brown, hair and soft features. He was fairly good-looking, but, to paraphrase her bestie, he was nothing to 'Hoo' about.

She frowned into the screen, about to ask who he was, when he turned away, shouting to the other side of the room in a thick English accent, "It's Penny!" He then looked at the screen again and smiled widely. "Hi. I'm Paul. Leonard's in the bathroom."

"Oh." She replied, her frown softening and a smile forming. "Hi, I'm Penny… Although I think you already knew that."

He smiled, "I did. I've seen pictures of you, Leonard talks about you quite a lot. Plus the whole 'Penny Calling' thing on Skype pretty much gave it away too."

Penny gave a short laugh. She liked this guy, although she had to admit so far that was mainly because of the accent. "Yeah." She nodded, "That would do it… So," She said, suddenly feeling a little awkward. "Will Leonard be long?"

"Depends what he's doing in there." He said with a cheeky grin. "If he's in the shower or on the toilet we could be here for a while…" He raised an eyebrow, "He takes a lot of loooong showers." Paul laughed and Penny couldn't help but laugh along with him, laughing even harder when they both heard mumbled moans come from, she assumed, Leonard in the bathroom. "He says he's not in the shower and he'll be out in a minute."

"Okay," Penny nodded and before she could say anything else, Paul spoke again.

"He woke up a little late this morning, the guy goes swimming twice in the space of a few days and he's exhausted!" He chuckled. "Usually I've had my marching orders by now." He said, looking at his watch, "I'm not allowed to be here when you two talk."

"Hold on, he went swimming?" Penny asked with disbelief.

"Yeah, I took him." He nodded and held up two fingers. "Twice."

"Wow. Well done, I've only ever gotten him in the water once." She laughed and he did the same. "And I'm sorry that you get kicked out of your own room because of me."

"Ahh, it's alright," He shrugged. "I just head up to the cafeteria and have my breakfast there. I don't want to be in the middle of whatever it is you guys talk about that makes him so bloody smiley for the rest of the day."

Penny's grin grew wide again, partly because of what he had said, and partly because of the way he had said it. She really did love that accent. Then a familiar voice came through her speakers, although she still couldn't see the man that voice belonged to.

"Okay, I'm done." The voice said.

"Aww. I was having fun talking to Penny." Paul said to Leonard who was still not visible. "Why don't you go back in there and come out again in around half an hour." He smiled.

"Come on, go." Leonard said with a hint of a chuckle, as he appeared from the left side, gently pushing Paul on the arm. "GO!"

"Alright, alright," He said, putting his hands in the air, "don't bite my arm off, I'm going."

Penny smiled as Leonard looked at Paul and furrowed his brow. "Why would I want to 'bite your arm off'?"

Paul simply rolled his eyes and got off the chair, but stayed within the view of the camera, "Bye Penny, it was nice to finally meet you."

"Bye Paul." Penny said in return and before she could add 'it was nice to meet you too', he was shooed off by Leonard, who was now sitting in the chair Paul had just gotten off of.

"Sorry about that." He said with an apologetic smile.

"That's okay, it was fun talking to him. He's very chatty."

Leonard nodded, "Yeah, he talks a lot. It's hard to get him to shut up sometimes, although I can well imagine you enjoyed it."

"I did." Penny smiled and nodded. "I heard he took you swimming." She said with raised eyebrows.

Leonard let out a slightly nervous chuckle, "Yeah."

"What brought that on? You hate going in the water."

He raised one eyebrow, "I don't _always_ hate it." He replied with a sly grin.

Penny smiled, wrinkled her nose and chewed on the side of her lip, "Okay, I'll rephrase that. You hate going in the water when you aren't getting sex out of it…" She laughed and then frowned, "Unless you are and you and Paul have got something to tell me?" She asked as seriously as she could.

Leonard laughed again, "No, I've got nothing to tell you. Just swimming, no sex."

"Good." She smiled, "So what brought it on then?" She asked again.

Leonard thought hard for a few moments, wondering if he should really tell her that the only reason Paul took him swimming was because he wanted to give him something to distract him from his thoughts of missing her. It would only be right to tell her the truth, but he knew that she had been finding the separation hard too, and the last thing he wanted to do was put the burden of his growing misery on to her too.

Simply missing out that detail wasn't exactly lying to her anyway, he could still tell her part of the truth. "Oh, um," He began, "It was recommended when we got on the boat that we should use the gym facilities at least once a week since there isn't exactly much opportunity to get any decent exercise here. I haven't been at all since I arrived and Paul has been going quite a bit so he pretty much forced me to go." He shrugged, "It's probably for the best, I'm sure you don't want me coming home a stone heavier." He chuckled.

Penny smiled, "I don't care baby, as long as you come back."

"Yeah, well, we'll see if you still think that when it happens!" Leonard grinned in return and took a few moments just to look at her as she laughed. She looked a little tired, the bags under her eyes more visible due to the fact that she had little to no make-up on, she still looked gorgeous though, he doubted that there would ever be a day when he thought she didn't. He saw that she had his t-shirt on – again – and a little of what looked like his sheets around her. He considered asking her why she was using his instead of her own, until he realized he knew the answer to his own question. There was a certain Snuggie that he used a lot recently; just to give him the comforting feeling that he was sure she was using his for.

"So, how was your day?" He asked, deciding to keep the conversation light.

Penny then went on to tell him about the crappy first half of her day. She told him how tired she had been this morning, how cranky and moody she had been around her colleagues and about all the unhappy people she had to serve. And then she stopped rather abruptly, Leonard looking at her in confusion, wondering what the reason was behind it.

She wondered if she should tell him about that little boy, or more to the point, about what that little boy had made her think about, and how that had made her feel. She knew telling him something like that would brighten his day. He always loved it when she made any mention of her thinking of their future together, and more so because she very rarely done it. He would love that she had thought about children and love even more that she hadn't freaked out about it. But she also knew how he overthought things. She knew there was every chance she could tell him something like that and he would take it as more than just a casual thought. He could ask her questions, serious questions, about their future together, and she just wasn't sure she was ready to answer them yet.

But then as she looked through her screen to the man sitting beyond it, the thought of seeing that face light up at what she had to tell him, overpowered the fear those words brought.

"Penny?" He said when she hadn't spoken for a few minutes, her mind lost in thought.

Penny smiled, "Yeah, sorry. I zoned out."

"Yeah, I noticed." He said with a slight chuckle, "What were you thinking about?"

She stared for a moment at the almost perfectly clear picture and lightly bit her lip. "Okay, well, today at work, there was this little family of three I had to serve. I was in a pretty crappy mood, like I already told you, but the little boy really cheered me up." She said and gave him a small smile.

"Really? How?" Leonard asked, his brow furrowed.

Penny cleared her throat and began to fidget with the laptop, shifting it on her lap before stopping and picking at her fingernails. "Well, he was lactose intolerant, like you, and he started to get upset because he couldn't have cheesecake." She smiled, her voice super soft. "As soon as I heard it I thought of you. He had glasses a little like yours too. He was so cute, I think he was only about five and he was really breaking his heart over not being able to have any of the cheesecake. He was stubborn too, he refused to talk to his mom or dad and had his little arms all crossed and angry." She gave a slight laugh, "I bent down beside him and started talking to him. You know how I get with little kids like that."

He nodded and grinned. Her strong maternal instincts were one of the things he loved about her.

"Well I told him that being lactose intolerant meant he was really special, because I knew someone that was really special that had that too." Penny blushed a little and shyly smiled. "He perked up after that and so did I." She looked down. "He really was adorable Leonard. He had hair that was like a really dull blonde and it hung down to about here," She put her hand to just below her eyes. "It um-" She fidgeted with her hands again. "It made me wonder about…" She looked at him and then down to her hands. "It made me think about _our_ kids... If they would be like that." She said quietly and then hurriedly spoke again, not letting those words settle. "And it was so weird because I didn't like, freak out or anything. It didn't make me panic it just made me all… fuzzy." She smiled into the screen at a rather bewildered, but happy looking Leonard. "I've never thought about stuff like that without it freaking me out. And I don't really know what that means but…" She shrugged her shoulders a little. "It has to be something good right?"

Leonard nodded, unable to find any words to say to her. The woman constantly surprised him, and this was definitely a surprise. But he forced himself not to get too excited over it. It was a good thing, definitely a good thing, that she was thinking about this, but he didn't want to push her too far on it. He had known her long enough to know not to do that. "That is good." He softly replied with a smile and a loving look.

Penny gave him the same smile back, "After that I was like a completely different person. Even my boss said so. I got better tips too so the customers must have noticed." She laughed. "Then when I got home, all I wanted to do was laze around the apartment with stuff that would remind me of you. So I went to your apartment and hung out there until Sheldon threw me out, and I took your stuff over here. Your covers and your pillow. It's been so great Leonard… I read your comics, I played with your bat signal and I watched one of your movies. I would have rather had you here in person…" She smiled, "but being with all your stuff really helps. It's kind of like you're here."

Leonard was pretty much speechless. All he could do at first was smile. "You were playing with my bat signal?"

"Yeah." She nodded, "It's actually pretty cool! I can't believe you never told me you made your own one!"

Leonard frowned. "I did tell you."

"No you never."

Leonard chuckled, "Yes, I did. We were out on a date and I told you that I got a grant off the government to see if high powered lasers could be used to knock out incoming ballistic missiles, and I used the equipment for that to make it, remember?" Penny's scrunched up face told him she didn't. He sighed, "You called me a nerd…" He offered, but still her expression didn't change. "I said 'I'm the King of Nerds'…" Still no change. "Oh come on!" He said, slightly exasperated. "How can you not remember?"

"Because it didn't happen. I would have remembered you talking about your own bat signal! Im pretty sure I would have asked to see it when we got home!"

"It did happen!"

"No it didn't!"

"Yes it did!"

Penny sighed, a little frustrated. "Okay, when do you_ imagine_ this happened?"

"Last year." He said confidently. "It was around about the time we first got back together again and-" He said and then suddenly he began to remember exactly why she had no memory of this happening. It only happened in his head. "Oh... wait…"

Penny tilted her head and raised her eyebrows. "I told you it didn't happen. Are you getting me confused with one of your exes, because that is so not cool, Leonard."

"No!" Leonard gave her a small apologetic smile. "Sorry. No, I'm not… it just… I dunno. I must have dreamt it or something."

Penny smiled, all anger and frustration gone, "Aww, you dream about going on dates with me?" She teased.

Leonard gave her a cheeky smile, "You think about having my kids?" He instantly retorted and chuckled when her face flushed and her smile dropped.

"Uh… I…" She stuttered, her heart racing. She knew he was just teasing her because she done it to him but the flat out question still made her flustered.

Leonard thought of telling her to relax, and that he was only joking, but he was pretty sure she already knew that, plus he really wanted to hear what she said, so he kept quiet.

"Um…" She cleared her throat and sighed, giving up on trying to think of something to say and deciding just to tell him the truth. "Yeah." She said, her eyes focused on his. "Apparently I do."

"And it doesn't scare you?" He asked, slightly scared of the answer.

Penny shook her head slowly. "Not as much as I thought it would…" She smiled, "It's actually quite nice, thinking about it."

Leonard smiled at her. He had absolutely no idea how she could think of such a thing and not become terrified when the thought of marriage did, but he decided not to overthink it, or to try not to anyway. It was nice to know she thought about those kinds of things. Although he always sort of thought she did, it was nice to hear her admit it. So he asked nothing else about it, sticking by his earlier decision of not pushing her too much and simply smiled at her, basking in the presence of her for just a few moments.

"So, anyway," Penny said, deciding to move the conversation along because he was giving her that intense look that told her he was thinking hard about something and she was a little worried about what he might ask her about next. "How are your experiments going?"


	44. Chess

**I'm making a bit of a habit of these evening updates! Blame work! Anyway, here is the next chapter, this one is focused on Leonard and Paul and getting a little bit more of Leonards feelings out before I go back to the gang in Pasadena :) Hope you enjoy it, and remember to review as always. Oh and all my fellow Lenny's should know I have a little something up my sleeve for you soon ;) Sometimes I think I'm too good to you :P hehe**

**Chess**

Leonard was lying on his bed with his glasses off, facing the ceiling. His latest conversation with Penny had only ended a few minutes ago, and he was feeling the emptiness that always poured over him after those calls ended. It was so abrupt; switching her off like a light. One button and her face disappeared from his screen, it was tough, and as time passed it was beginning to have more of an effect on him.

With each day that came, the emptiness grew, and each day he thought that it wouldn't get any worse, but it always did. With every day, he missed her just that little bit more. With each morning and night that came, he would realize something else, something small, that he missed about her. Like the way she wriggled her nose or the way she would hum and sing along to some tune on her iPod or in her car. The way she would touch a finger to his lip when she knew he was about to say something stupid or gently run her finger across his chest as they both drifted off to sleep.

It was little things like that, that he barely took note of when they happened, that stuck out like a sore thumb as he thought of her now. He knew he only had a little over two months to wait before he got those things back, but it still felt like a lifetime away. He wanted her here, now. He wanted to kiss her, and hold her. He wanted to caress her cheek and rub his nose against hers. He even wanted to help her paint her nails, watch silly love stories and wash dishes with her. He wanted to be able to properly talk to her again. He wanted to be able to have intimate conversations that had no middle man in the shape of a laptop or phone. It was hard trying to have deep conversations, like the one of nearly a week ago when Penny had mentioned that little boy in her restaurant, when he wasn't able to reach out to her as she spoke, either to comfort, or reassure her. He wanted it all, but he couldn't get it yet.

At times like this he truly realized just how much she meant to him and it made him wonder if she was realizing the same. Maybe being forced apart like this, was beginning to make her realize how much he meant to her, and maybe that was why imagining their future together that day hadn't scared her as much as it used to. It was a perfectly reasonable explanation, however if it was true then why did the idea of marriage still freak her out so much? How was it that she could talk about one day having his child but not of being his wife. It made no sense to him and it was frustrating, but there was nothing he could really do about it, he wasn't even sure if Penny understood it either.

Suddenly, the door to his room squeaked open, pulling him from his thoughts.

"You alright mate?" A familiar English voice asked.

Leonard turned to see Paul standing in the doorway and put his glasses back on. "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "I'm fine." He replied, trying his best to sound sincere but unable to stop the low monotonous manner that it came out in.

Paul nodded slowly, and Leonard knew that he wasn't convinced. He only hoped he didn't decide to ask him to go swimming. As much as the exercise helped, he really just wasn't in the mood.

"The chess table just opened up in the recreation room. Fancy a game?" Paul asked.

Leonard gave a small smile, a wave of relief hitting him. "Yeah, sure. Why not." He said as he sat up and got off his bed. Maybe a quiet game of chess was just what he needed right now, something to challenge his mind and keep it away from all the things that were getting him down.

The two men chatted quietly as they made their way down the long, dark halls, until they reached the recreation room. The room was fairly empty, save for a small group playing the xBox on one of the couches and a couple of guys in the corner laughing and joking around a laptop screen.

They took their seats on either side of the table and quickly decided who was going which colour, before taking their time setting up the board.

There was a comfortable silence as the two of them completed their first few moves, but as soon as the game got a little more serious and each turn took some serious thought, Paul began talking.

"So, were you talking to Penny today?" He asked as he slowly moved one of his chess pieces.

Leonard frowned a little; slightly taken back by the sudden conversation, and the subject of it. "Uh, yeah." He replied as he studied the board.

"I thought so." He nodded and Leonard's frown deepened as he looked up at him over his glasses, unsure of what that was supposed to mean. "How long have you been together?"

Leonard took in a breath as he moved his chess piece and rested his chin in his fist. "Hmm, well, altogether about two and a half years. We were kind of on and off for the past six years." Leonard replied then watched as Paul made his move, and smiled when he noticed a better one he could have taken.

"Oh," Paul said as he sat back in his chair. "You two must be pretty serious then?"

"Serious?"

"Yeah. I mean you must be if you have been together that long, especially after being friends for so long too."

Leonard shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." He removed his chin from his hand and furrowed his brow. "Why the sudden interest?"

"It's not sudden." He shrugged. "I've been wondering about you two for a while, just never really had a chance to ask. You talk about her quite a bit, but you never really _tell_ me anything about you two, like how long you've been together, how you met, that sort of stuff."

"Oh." Leonard replied as he made his move. "Well, what do you want to know?"

"I dunno." He shrugged as he looked down at the chess board, "How _did_ you meet?"

Leonard smiled, "She moved in across the hall from me."

"Oh. Did it take long before you guys got together?"

"A while yeah. I was smitten with her since the first day," He smiled, "but it took her a little longer to come around to the idea of dating a nerd." He said only really half joking.

Paul chuckled, "How did it finally happen then?"

Leonard grinned, "I went on an expedition to the North Pole for three months. Turned out that was just how long she needed to figure out she wanted to be with me and pretty much pounced on me when I got back."

Paul chuckled again as he made a move on the chess board. "And then you broke up?"

"Yeah…" Leonard replied then made his own move, "I got too serious too soon."

"How?"

"I told her I loved her before she was ready to say the same back to me."

"Oooh. That's rough."

"Yeah, it was." Leonard sadly replied, reliving the moment in his mind.

Paul sensed the hurt in his voice and decided to quickly move on. "So how did you get back together again?"

"Well, I asked her out again." He said, surprising himself at just how simple that made it sound, even although it seemed much more complicated at the time. "This time we both worked a little harder at the relationship, and here we are." He smiled.

"Aww. Sweet." Paul teased then looked down at the board again for a few moments before speaking again. "So, are you gonna marry her?"

"What?" Leonard asked with surprise.

Paul shrugged a little, slightly confused by how shocked he was at that question. "You've been together for a while, known each other for a long time… You are obviously crazy about the girl…" He stopped and frowned, "You've never thought about marrying her?"

Leonard looked away from Paul and sighed. "It's a little more complicated than that."

"Oh." Paul replied as he looked down at the board again. "You not the marrying type?" He asked with a slight smile.

Leonard shook his head and let out a short chuckle as it dawned on him just how little he had told Paul about him and Penny, when he had thought he had told him so much. "Paul, if I could, I would have married her yesterday."

"Really?" He asked, looking back up briefly.

"Yeah." Leonard nodded.

Paul sat back in his chair again and looked thoughtfully at him. "Well why don't you ask her?" He smiled, getting a little excited. "You know, after four months apart, you turning up in the airport with a big diamond ring and a proposal; that's pretty bloody romantic! I bet she'd be hard pushed to say no to that!"

Leonard's mood once again saddened as he slumped back in his chair. "Like I said before, it's complicated." He nodded towards the board. "It's your move."

"Yeah, I know. I'm thinking." Paul studied the board for a few seconds before quickly moving one of his pieces. "So, why is it so complicated? I mean, I know I don't know Penny, and I've only known you a little while, but, it's pretty obvious you two are in love. You talk to each other almost every day without fail..." Paul stopped talking and stayed quiet as his mind raced with possibilities, when something quite plausible came up. "Have you already asked her?"

Leonard let out a small huff. This really wasn't how he had wanted this game to go, yet the idea of getting all of his thoughts off his chest was extremely tempting. "Yeah," He sighed, "kind of."

"What do you mean 'kind of'? You either did or you didn't."

Leonard made his move, "I asked her once, but it wasn't a real proposal. There was no ring and well, I asked her in the middle of sex."

Paul's eyes widened as a look of shock and amusement spread over his face. "Oh my God. Are you serious?" He chuckled. "Brilliant timing! I guess she said no?"

Leonard chuckled along with him and nodded. "Yeah."

"So, what? Are you scared to ask her in case she says no again?"

"Not exactly..." Leonard replied as he sat back. He really didn't _want_ to go into huge detail about this subject, but part of him felt like he had to. There was so much going on in his head ever since that Valentine's Day and he figured that maybe someone like Paul, who didn't know either of them all that well, would be able to provide some new insight into some of the things that had been troubling him. Plus, he knew that Paul probably wasn't going to let it go anyway, so he had to tell him something. "I almost proposed again on Valentine's Day. It wasn't planned – just like the last one – but she stopped me before I could even get on one knee. She was right to," He nodded, "I was going to ask for the wrong reasons, and after that she kinda freaked. We fought a little and then later on I told her I wouldn't propose to her again."

"What?" Paul frowned. "Wait. So, you're never going to ask her? Ever?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I promised I wouldn't. She has to do it."

Paul's blue eyes widened, "_She_ has to ask _you_?"

Leonard nodded. "Yeah."

"Wow. That's…" He frowned again. "Different… but, I still don't really understand why you said you would never do it again. I mean, surely she wanted the whole big romantic proposal. I thought all girls wanted that."

Leonard sighed again. This part was going to be a little harder to explain, especially because he really didn't understand it himself. "She's- uh... She's not really comfortable with the whole commitment thing." Leonard looked down at the board. "So I thought that giving her the responsibility of it, would take the pressure off her." Leonard looked back up, to see a look of complete confusion on Paul's face. "You know, so she won't feel like she has to say yes to me if – when - I asked again. This way, she gets to take her time and wait until she knows she is ready for it."

"Oh." Paul nodded as he leant forward and moved his chess piece across the board. "Check."

"What?" Leonard said in surprise as he frowned and looked at what had just happened on the chess board.

"So why is she so scared of it then?" He asked as he sat back again and crossed his arms.

"How did I miss that?" Leonard mumbled as he looked at the pieces in front of him, then looked up. "Um…" He shook his head, "I'm not really sure why."

"You've never asked her?"

"Well, It's not really the kind of thing you just casually bring up. 'Oh hey sweetie, I was just wondering, what is it that makes the idea of marrying me so terrifying?'" Leonard shook his head again and sighed. "Sometimes I think it's because of her past. You know, because her ex's were such assholes. But then I don't understand why that would affect us. She knows I'm not like them." He shrugged, then rubbed his forehead and stared down at the board. "I dunno. To be honest I'm probably a little scared of the answer she would give me."

Paul took a few seconds to study Leonard's expression as he concentrated on the board and thought over his next words. He felt sorry for him. He could tell that this had been bothering him for a while. "Did she not even give you some sort of hint as to why it freaked her out?"

Leonard moved his chess piece, successfully removing him from the dangerous situation. "Um… no. All she said was that she was freaked out by the thought of us being together forever." He looked up at Paul. "Not exactly a thing you want to hear." He gave a small, sad smile.

"I don't think she meant that the way you are interpreting it right now. She loves you, doesn't she?"

Leonard thought for a few seconds and smiled. "Yeah, she does. She wouldn't say it if she didn't mean it. She's not the type to lie, especially about something like that."

"Okay, so, it probably isn't you that's the problem." He shrugged. "It's probably just the 'forever' thing."

"Yeah," Leonard nodded sadly. "The 'forever' with me."

Paul shook his head. "No." He sighed. "How can I explain this… Getting married, for some people, is what you do later on in life. You know like when you're older; you get married, have kids, that kind of thing. Maybe she just didn't imagine her 'together forever' thing starting right now."

Leonard shrugged. "I don't understand. It's not like she's super young. Yeah, she's younger than me but she's still in her late twenties, it's hardly like she's going to be missing out on her youth, or something like that, by getting married now. And it's your move."

Paul nodded and made his move, "Maybe it isn't to do with age though." He said and Leonard looked inquisitively at him. "You said that Penny is a waitress, yeah?" Leonard nodded. "But she wants to be an actress? That was her dream, right?" Leonard nodded again. "Alright, so, maybe she always thought she would be a successful actress before she got married." He shrugged as he sat back. "You know how people sort of, envision their future, maybe she feels freaked out by marriage because she didn't picture herself getting married at this point in her life, career wise; before she was this famous actress that she dreamed of being."

Leonard tilted his head a little and thought over what he had said. It definitely made sense, but it didn't really help him feel better about the whole situation. "So, if your theory is correct, then I need to wait until she becomes famous before we get married?"

"I guess." He shrugged. "Or until she accepts a different future to the one she pictured, or starts to feel better about her career, I don't know. But look, at least this way, with telling her to propose to you, you will know when she asks you she is totally ready for it."

"Yeah, I get that. That's the reason why I done it but…" He let out a deep sigh, "but how long am I going to have to wait for that?" He shook his head, "Sometimes I just think that I done the wrong thing. What if she never thinks she is ready? It took her years to tell me she loved me, so how long will I need to wait on her to be able to be comfortable with marriage… I don't want to be fifty before I get to have kids with her…" Leonard stopped, thinking in his head for a few moments before he continued. "She's scared of committing. So, what if giving her that responsibility means that she never really finds the courage to do it? Like… like if a person is afraid of water, and you tell them to 'take their time' with getting into the sea or a pool , the chances are they are going to put it off for as long as they possibly can."

Paul nodded. "True. But, to use the same analogy, pushing them into the deep end isn't the way forward either; they would just drown. You need to encourage them to do it. And that is what you've done with Penny. You've told her you are ready for her, that you are there waiting for her to be ready, and I would bet my left arm that she has been thinking it over, especially if she loves you as much as you obviously love her. It's your move."

Leonard nodded, "She has been thinking about it. She told me she was 'getting there'. I know I should be happy with that, and in some ways I am…" He shook his head. "It's just that sometimes I wish it was different. I wish she wasn't so scared of all of this stuff…"

"But if she wasn't scared of this stuff then she wouldn't be the same girl. Sure things might have turned out differently or happened faster, but that's not always a good thing. Maybe doing this, taking your time, is what the both of you need. Maybe that is what will make you two last."

Leonard looked thoughtfully at Paul for a few moments, before looking down at the board and smiling just a little. "Maybe." He said then moved his piece.

"Trust me, man." He said as he looked at the board. "You two seem happy, don't push it. Talk to her about it, though, it's obviously bothering you and I'm pretty sure she's the one that should hear all of this. But I think what you've done is the right thing, I bet she'll be ready before you know it. You said that the last time you went away she made a big jump in your relationship, maybe the same will happen this time. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'" He shrugged, "All that mushy crap." He smiled and then moved one of his pieces. "Checkmate. I win."

Leonard looked at Paul for a few moments, before looking down at the board in shock. "You're kidding me."

"Nope. You suck at chess." Paul chuckled before standing up and giving a bewildered Leonard a hard pat on the shoulder before walking towards the group of guys playing on the xBox.

Leonard continued to look at the board for a few moments longer as his mind drifted away from the game and back to Penny. Maybe Paul was right, and even if he wasn't, he already felt better about what had been bothering him. He knew that being on this ship like this had given him too much time to overthink everything. He had done the right thing, as much as sometimes he doubted it, he knew it was the right decision, deep down he did. And she would ask him. She was getting there, she had said so herself, and the fact that she had been imagining having his children only cemented that fact in his head.

Maybe he would have to wait until she felt better about the state of her career, maybe she just needed to be certain that he wouldn't break her heart like the other guys. It didn't matter really, he knew he would wait on her, for as long as it took.

"Leonard!"

Leonard snapped his head around to the group on the sofa, Paul amongst them.

"You playing?" Paul asked, holding a controller in the air.

Leonard smiled and nodded, before clearing the chess pieces and walking over to the couch, grabbing one of the controllers. "Yeah, I'll play. You might beat me at chess, but you'll never beat me at Halo."


	45. The Half-way Point

**Update time! Glad you are all still enjoying this story, and as always i appreciate the lovely comments and reviews you guys give! Keep em coming!**

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**The Half-way Point**

Sheldon drearily closed the door to his apartment, coffee flask in hand, and headed over to Penny's. It was Thursday morning, a morning that, along with Tuesday, he was beginning to dread. Although he sort of appreciated what his friend was doing for him, he still wished that she would do it with a little more, dare he say it, perkiness.

Over the time that Leonard had been away, the amount of times when she would answer her door to him with a smile on her face were few and far between. There was always a scowl. She always looked like she was seriously considering following through with her earlier threats of punching him in the throat for daring to knock before eleven AM. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that she would do it and he was a little surprised that she hadn't already at least tried.

And so it was with a little trepidation that he lifted his clenched fist to put his signature knock on her door, almost certain that when she answered, probably after his second or third try, she would answer with a growl as she reluctantly got ready to take him to work.

It was as he waited on her to answer that his mind briefly considered asking Amy to pick up the responsibility full time, and maybe a year ago he would have asked, but not now. Now he understood how selfish that would be, he cared about her too much to risk her thinking that he was treating her like his personal chauffer. It wouldn't be fair to expect her to come here every morning to collect him before taking herself to work.

Just as he was about to lift his clenched fist to knock once again, the door swung open.

"Hey sweetie, just a minute I have to get my keys." Penny said quickly before going back into her apartment and Sheldon frowned as he watched her head to her coffee table to collect the stuff sitting on it.

Sheldon was a little surprised by the manner in which she spoke, completely opposite to how he had expected. There wasn't even a bit of grumpiness in her tone. She wasn't dressed in a mixture of hers and Leonard's clothing, instead she was in her blue skinny jeans and a floral top. Her hair was up, but not in the messy - just-got-up - way he was used to it being. She had taken her time getting ready this morning, which had to mean she had been up for a while.

Sheldon checked his watch, maybe he had mistaken the time on his clock and it was actually a lot later on in the day than he had thought. 7:35. He checked his phone to check it said the same, and it did. He wasn't mistaken, Penny really was awake, and in a good mood. A rarity these days, especially at this time, and he had to admit, he was glad. Not only because he wouldn't have to suffer through her endless groans and complaints as she took him to work, but because it was nice just to see her happy. A sentiment he wouldn't dare share.

"Alright, I'm ready, let's go." Penny said as she breezed past a rather dumbfounded Sheldon, sliding an arm into her leather jacket, her purse and keys in her hand.

Sheldon handed Penny her coffee once her jacket was fully on and she gave him a wide smile of thanks before beginning to walk down the stairs. Sheldon followed, his mind instantly thinking back to the last time he had seen her this chirpy. He hadn't understood the reasoning behind it then and he certainly didn't understand it this time either.

"You seem to be in a good mood today Penny." He said as they walked down the stairs.

Penny turned briefly back to him and smiled. "I am Sheldon. I guess you would like to know why?"

"I would."

"Okay, first reason," She began, holding up one finger. "I have my end of year exam today, and I have actually been studying for it so I'm pretty sure I'm going to ace it!"

Sheldon scoffed, shaking his head. "Unlikely, but go on."

Penny stopped and her jaw loosened as she narrowed her eyes toward Sheldon. Her first instinct was to throw a cheeky retort back at him, but she knew it would only result in an argument and she was in too good of a mood to deal with that today. "Whatever." She said with a huff instead, before continuing to walk and held up two fingers. "Second reason," She turned and smiled, "And the most important one, is that Leonard will be home in exactly two months from today." Her smile widened. A smile that could be seen in her eyes as much as her mouth. "As of today, the amount of days until he comes back will be smaller than the amount of days he has been away! How awesome is that?!"

Sheldon smiled inside, this was something he hadn't even realized, and for once, he actually understood Penny's excitement. He nodded once, "Yes, _awesome_." He said with his best attempt at sarcasm in order to hide his true feelings.

"Joke all you want sweetie, but I know you're just as happy as I am about that!"

Sheldon decided it best not to reply, whatever he said to defend himself, she would more than likely see right through anyway. Maybe he wasn't as good at hiding his feelings as he thought he was, and that thought scared him as he thought back to Amy, wondering if deep down she already knew what he hadn't expressed he felt for her in words.

Sheldon's ride to work that day was one of the best he had had with Penny in a while. She didn't complain once when he began to rhyme off some of his classic 'Factoids', only very briefly coming out of her happy state to throw a sarcastic comment or two his way. He wondered if it was going to be like this from now on, if she had finally gotten to a place where she was happy being without Leonard, but that thought was quickly dismissed as he realized that as soon as the happiness of knowing she was at the 'half way point' wore off, she would more than likely go back to being sad again, a thought that hurt his heart more than he would care to acknowledge. He cared for this girl. She was a real pain and irritated him more than anyone else in this world. Her lack of intelligence really baffled him sometimes, but in many ways, she had taught him a lot. Nothing worthwhile of course but she had taught him about various social protocols and interactions, things that he knew had helped him navigate his way around his daily life, as well as around his relationship with Amy. Over the years she had become one of his closest friends and he was sure that, although at times he hated it, the fact that they had been forced to spend more time together since Leonard's departure, had brought them closer. He liked to think they understood each other a little better, and he understood that any days like this Penny had, were often short lived. So he made the most of it, all the while dreading the point when she would realize that although she was half way there, she still had some time to go.

Once Penny had dropped Sheldon at work, tooting her horn to say goodbye as she left the car park, she sped off to her college, music on loud and a smile on her face, as for the first time in her life, she looked forward to sitting her test. She had been studying on and off for the past couple of weeks in preparation, as per Leonard's advice of not to cram all the studying into one night and spread it out, and she was confident, really confident that she was going to pass. She knew she might not get the highest grade, unlikely to get anything higher than maybe a B+, but she knew she was going to pass. She had been enjoying school lately. Maybe because it was another one of those things that reminded her of him, but maybe it was just because she actually enjoyed the class, enjoyed learning and being in an environment where she wasn't the dumbest person there.

She knew Leonard would be proud of her too. Whether she scored high or low, he would be proud of her for giving it a go and knowing that put her at ease. She really didn't care all that much what the rest of them thought. Maybe she would be a little embarrassed if she got her results back and she scored something lower than a C, but it was what Leonard thought that interested her more. If he was still proud of her after receiving a grade like that, then what everyone else thought didn't matter as much.

But all of that was irrelevant, because she had done her homework and knew somewhere deep down that she was going to pass this exam with flying colours. Well, maybe more like hovering colours. She would get at least a C, she knew that almost for certain.

When Penny reached her college building and parked her car, she turned off the ignition and took a couple of deep breaths, a slight twinge of nerves hitting her for the first time that day. She knew she still had some time to go before she had to be inside, fifteen minutes at least, and after pondering how to spend that time for a few moments, Penny reached over to her purse on the passenger seat and pulled out her phone, going straight to her e-mails to see the one that had helped put her in such a good mood today. She had received it just after seven o'clock this morning, and while it was an unusual occurrence - since whenever Leonard got in touch it was usually through text, phone or Skype - she was glad none-the-less.

After a few taps of her phone screen, a wide smile appeared on Penny's face as she re-read his email for the third time that day.

_Good morning beautiful. I would have called but it's been a really busy day here. There's lots of stuff going on so I decided to write you a quick E-mail and I'll call you later on, once we are finished for the day. You aren't working today are you? _

_The first thing I thought when I woke up this morning was that I have now been here for two months. Can you believe it? We are half way there! There's only two more months to go before I get to kiss those sweet lips of yours, and hold you in my arms again. I can't wait! I'm so excited I've been acting like a teenage girl all day. Really, I have. Paul has had a great time teasing me for it. He said that I remind him of his little sister the night before she went to a One Direction concert. I'm not sure what that means, but he found it hilarious and I guess you probably will too… Maybe I should cut down on the soy milk. I don't care anyway. I'm excited! _

_I've been thinking about you a lot more lately. And I already thought about you a lot in the first place! But you know what I was thinking? We should go somewhere together when I get back, just the two of us. We have a lot of time to catch up on and I'd like to spend some time with you away from Sheldon and everyone else. I just want a week, or maybe two, where I don't have to share you with anyone at all. What do you think? Do you think the restaurant will give you the time off? And don't worry about money, I'm going to get a pretty big pay out after this trip so we can use that to fund it. _

_Oh crap, I better go, someone is shouting on me… Good luck with your exam today, not that you will need it. I know you've been studying hard for this one and I'm positive you will do great. You know I'm proud of you no matter what happens._

_I love you. So, so much! I miss you a lot too... I just can't wait to see you again. Text me and let me know your plans for this evening so we can Skype, I can't wait to see your face. I really missed it this morning. Anyway, I'll talk to you soon. I love you. I already said that, but I don't care. I love you! :) xxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_P.S. ONLY TWO MONTHS TO GO! :) :) :) :) :) _

Penny grinned down at the screen, those little nerves gone and replaced with the same giddy excitement he had expressed in his e-mail, mixed with just a few tears. Happy, excited tears, mixed with tears of longing. There was something about seeing those three little words written to her that made her tear up almost every time. Those few tears didn't fall however they just rimmed her eyes as she smiled down at his words, her heart pumping with love for the man that had written them. She still hadn't gotten back to him, and promised herself that as soon as her exam was over she would go to the coffee house down the street and take a few minutes to write him back.

Suddenly she noticed the time on her phone, and realized that her exam was about to start and she had to get inside. Quickly she locked her phone and threw it into her purse before grabbing it and heading inside, greeting a few of her classmates on the way and walking in with them.

Almost an hour later and she was walking back out of that building, still feeling as confident as she had on the way in. Maybe too confident, she thought. As she walked to her car she wondered if the test had been too easy. Maybe the answers she had given had been too obvious and weren't enough to guarantee a pass. Penny shook her head, she was overthinking the situation. Obviously she had picked up some bad habits from her boyfriend. She smiled again, she was confident because she had done well. The test was easier for her because she studied for it. There was no point in manipulating those feelings into something more than they were. This was a good thing, and for the first time in a while, she felt proud of herself, and she didn't even know her grade yet.

As soon as she was in her car she took a breath and smiled, the relief of having her exam over and the pressure off finally hitting her. She could finally forget about school for a while and focus on something else, although that thought only reminded her that not having school work to focus on would only give her more time to dwell on the man missing from her life.

But only for two more months. Penny grinned and bit on the inside of her lip. She couldn't believe there was only two months to go, yet at the same time it felt like he had been gone for so much longer than that. Like she had said though, from now on, the amount of days until he came back would be less than the time he had been away. It was a nice thought and with that, she drove off down the street to the Starbucks a few minutes away to finally reply to Leonard's message.

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Leonard was sitting in the ships cafeteria, a smile still spread over his face as he ate his dinner amongst his new friends, Paul, Karina, and a few of the other scientists he had been working with. There had been a certain buzz of excitement on the ship the whole day, and he was almost certain it was because almost everyone on it was aware of the same thing he was; they were half way there. Almost everyone on this ship had only two more months to wait until they got to see their loved ones again. Whether those loved ones came in the form of a boyfriend or girlfriend, a mother or father, a sister or brother, close friends or even just their pet, everyone was looking forward to seeing someone, although some felt it more than others. Paul, for instance wasn't experiencing the same high he and a few others were and he wondered why that was. He was sure he had heard Paul talking about friends and family back home in London, so he knew there were people that cared for him somewhere, but then it dawned on him that Paul could have the same type of relationship with his parents as Leonard had with his and maybe his friends weren't really close to him. In that moment, he felt guilty. Paul had served, almost as a shoulder to cry on at times, for him, yet he realized now just how little he actually knew about him. He knew bits and pieces about his life and his comfortable upbringing. He knew that he had worked as an engineer for almost a decade and that he had spent almost all of that time travelling the world, carrying out experiments like this with some of the best scientists in the world. Maybe that was why he wasn't as excited about the 'half way point' as everyone else. Maybe he preferred being away from home… maybe he wasn't sure where 'home' was.

Truthfully, he had no idea really, and he promised himself at that moment, that from now on he would stop being so, for lack of a better word, self-centred and get to know his roommate as well as he probably knew him.

Leonard continued to think of his friend for a few more minutes, until once again his mind drifted back to home and everything he was looking forward to seeing back there. Penny being the main attraction, however he was looking forward to seeing all of his friends again too. He looked forward to video game night, comic book night, going to the cinema, having takeout in his apartment, having spaghetti in Penny's apartment. He looked forward to working in his own lab again, and the sun, he looked forward to that too. He was sick of always being cold and he was sure it was doing nothing for his already pale skin complexion. He looked forward to being on dry land. Although his motion sickness had pretty much disappeared, on day or nights when it was particularly stormy he would still feel that familiar churn in his stomach. He looked forward to never having to deal with that again.

There were a few things he would miss. The people he had met here being one of them and the view, when it was calm enough to go outside and look at it, was particularly nice. The sea air really done something to his body too, he felt fresh and new every time he went out on to the deck and breathed it in. He would miss that, but not enough to trade it for home.

"Leonard?"

"Hmm," Leonard snapped his head up at the mention of his name, a smile still covering his face. "Yeah?"

Karina smiled, "Are you okay? You've been playing with your food and grinning for the past ten minutes."

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"He's better than fine." Paul added with a chuckle. "This guy has been well excited all day. He's been driving me up the bloody wall with his," He put on his best American accent. "_'We've only got two more months here Paul!'"_

"Has he Paul?" Karina asked with a slight grin. "Has he been 'well' excited all day? Has it been 'well' annoying?"

"Have I been winding you up?" Leonard joined in with a grin, "Do you want me to put a sock in it, or get on my bike?"

Leonard and Karina continued to laugh as Paul shook his head, "You two are so bloody annoying sometimes."

"Sorry." Leonard added with a chuckle, "It's so much fun though. How about I make you a cup of tea that is just the dog's bollocks and we forget about it?"

Paul shook his head and huffed as he stood up with his tray of food. "I think I'm just going to go and find some new friends."

"Aw, we were only joking Paul!" Karina exclaimed with a laugh as she stood up with her tray and followed him.

Leonard watched them with a grin for a second as they walked to the garbage area and put away all their leftover food, until he heard his phone buzz on the table beside his half eaten food. The already wide grin on his face only deepened as he tapped on his phone and saw that he had received an email from Penny and without a thought he opened it, completely forgetting about the other scientists still around him as he focused on her words.

_Hey baby! I'm just out of my exam and having a coffee while I write you back. It went well, I feel pretty confident about it, although I did wonder if that was a good or bad thing for a little while. I'm blaming you for making me overthink things! _

_I'm not working until six and after my coffee im going straight home so call me whenever you're ready. This is so weird writing to you in an email! I don't know why. It's odd writing things down and not having a reply right away. I don't like it, I prefer talking to you._

_I was so excited this morning knowing we only have two months left. Sheldon was so confused, poor guy. He didn't understand at first why I was so happy. Oh, wait until you see him again, Leonard. There really is something different about him. I noticed it yesterday when we were having takeout in the apartment. I don't know how to explain it, it's like he's a little more normal, but still in a Sheldon way. The way he acts with Amy is different too. We are having a girls night on Saturday though, so I will have to try and find out what's been going on from her once she gets a few glasses of wine in her!_

_Trust me baby, I can't wait for that too. There is so much I miss I really don't have the time to write it all down and I probably shouldn't write it while i'm in a public place. Maybe I'll tell you when you call me later. ;) And your idea to go away somewhere is perfect. I want that too, I really need to have you to myself for a while. Sheldon will probably try and steal you away from me for the first few days, he's been missing you too. We all have. And don't worry about The Cheesecake Factory, they will give me the time off, and even if they don't I'll just go anyway!_

_Okay I've finished my coffee and I'm going to go home now. I really don't like this. I want to hear your voice and see that handsome face of yours! Plus people are looking at me funny because i've been smiling into my phone for the past few minutes! _

_I'll text you when I'm back at the apartment. I love you too, probably more than you even realize. I'm gonna have to start thinking of ways of showing you for when you get back… I wonder when the new Victoria's Secret range comes out… ;)_

Leonard felt his cheeks flush as he read Penny's last words. What a way to end it, he thought to himself and smiled. The thought that she still missed him just as much as he missed her was always one that made him happy, and the thought of what it was she was going to do to show him how much she loved him only made his stomach tingle and his cheeks flush even more. He looked up, and noticed one or two of his colleagues look at him curiously, but all he gave as an explanation was a shy smile, before grabbing his bag and getting up, leaving his half eaten food on the table.

There was no way he was wasting any time as he hurriedly bounced down to his room. He shared Penny's sentiment that emailing was nowhere near as satisfying as actually talking to one another. He too preferred being able to actually see and hear her when he was having a conversation and by the content of the email she had just sent, he was pretty sure this pending conversation was one he didn't want to miss out on.

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**Yup, i'm leaving it there! I need to remember this is a T rated fic! Let your imaginations run wild! :) **


	46. Growing Up

**Late night update for you guys! Well, for the ones in the UK anyway! My internet has been playing up thats why its so late, and I figured I would get this out now since im working tomorrow morning! This chapter was supposed to contain whats going to happen in the next chapter, but as i was writing that all changed. Mainly because it hit me that Penny is nearing her 30s! It freaked me out. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!**

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**Growing Up**

Penny placed her iPod in its docking station, and pressed play as she got her apartment ready for Amy and Bernadette coming over. She hummed, danced and sang along to whatever song it was that played as she tidied away the magazines, clothes and other little bits and pieces that cluttered her coffee table, breakfast bar and dining area.

Once she was done straightening up the apartment, Penny quickly headed into her bedroom to take a look at her hair and make-up before the girls arrived. She glanced over her grey skinny jeans and pattered top, tilting her head to the side and running her hand through her tousled hair, wondering if she should change into something fancier – something dressier, put on more make-up and give her hair a once over with her straighteners. She wasn't sure if they were going to go out anywhere tonight or if it was just going to be one of those nights where they just sat in, talked, drank wine and listened to music, but she wanted to be prepared in case one of them was insistent on going out to a bar or club. Amy was usually the first to suggest doing that these days. She hadn't gotten enough of these girls nights in her teens and early twenties, so she was really trying to make up for it now.

Penny walked back out of her bedroom and into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine, before grabbing another two glasses and sitting them on her coffee table. She quickly headed back to the kitchen to grab the bottle of wine and sat that down beside the glasses as she relaxed back in her sofa, her glass in hand as she waited on her friends to arrive, the music from her speakers still filling the otherwise quiet room.

If she was honest, she wasn't really bothered whether they went out or not. She was happy to just stay in and relax this Saturday evening; something that a few years ago she would never have thought possible. She still enjoyed having a good drink but she didn't feel the need to always get drunk, or to go out to a club to have a good time, and sometimes she much preferred just staying in. It meant she didn't have to go through the effort of getting dressed up, she didn't have to fix up her hair, or wake up in the morning with a ringing in her ears, an aching headache and throbbing feet. It also meant that she didn't have to deal with the men that would hit on her while she was at those sorts of places. It was something that never really bothered her before, in fact it was quite flattering - unless the men were particularly persistent or creepy - but it was something that was beginning to bother her now. These days, she found she would much rather sit in a fairly quiet bar or sit at home and be able to talk and gossip with her friends. It was fun going out to Vegas or partying hard into the night in the city, and she still enjoyed doing it, but not all the time and a lot less often these days.

Penny let out a quiet laugh as she shook her head at her own thoughts. Maybe she was getting too old for it now. She frowned. No, not too old, just… more mature; too mature to want to go out and party like a reckless teenager.

It certainly was a far cry from how she was a few years ago, Penny thought as she sipped on her wine, but that was okay. She was closing in on her thirties and she was happy with her life the way it was; she had realized that a while ago. She was enrolled in a college course that she enjoyed, she had friends and family that she loved and loved her back, and she had a boyfriend that she simply adored. A boyfriend that was much more than a boyfriend. He was her best friend. He was the only one that really understood her and the only one that knew how to make her body feel things it never had before. The one that, like she had said in the past, she was passionate about. She had never felt this passionate about a man before, and it still surprised her that it was her little nerd next door that had brought that sort of passion out. No-one had touched her heart like he had and she knew no-one else ever would. He was her soul-mate, as some might say, and she wondered in that moment if she believed in such a thing. It was something she had never really thought about in the past, but she was almost certain that if such a thing _did_ exist, that he was hers.

Smiling a small, contented smile, she sipped on her wine and glanced over her apartment. This was another part of her life she was happy with. She loved her home. She loved the colours and little things she had in it to decorate it. It was cute and quirky and different. It expressed her vibrant personality perfectly. The only thing she would remove was the huge painting of herself and Amy, but even then she was sure something wouldn't feel right it that was gone, she had sort of gotten used to it and while she wasn't too fond of the actual picture, the sentiment behind it meant more to her than its outward appearance.

The only problem with it these days was that not having Leonard sharing this place with her every so often made it feel just that bit emptier. It was only really something she noticed at dinner time when he would usually be sitting across from her, or in the evening when they would cuddle on the sofa before going to bed. The rest of the time it was easier to handle. It still sucked. She still missed him, but it was easier.

There was only one part of her life that she wasn't completely satisfied with, and that was her career. She realized now, that she had been naïve to think that becoming a world famous actress was going to be easy, and that it wouldn't take longer than six months; a year tops. She had figured that she would be much further along in her career than she was now though. A few plays and a haemorrhoid commercial certainly weren't all she imagined to have under her belt at this stage in her life, and a small part of her wondered if she was really that bothered any more. If she really still wanted all the fame that would completely disrupt her life the way it was, the way she was happy with it being. She thought about all the things that would change if she suddenly became a household name and shot into the world of the rich and famous. She wondered how it would affect her and Leonard's relationship if she constantly had to travel to movie shoots or red carpet events. There was no doubt that he would become insecure over the men that would follow her career, as well as the actors she would film with, and she couldn't blame him, she knew she would feel the same if the tables were turned. She _already_ felt that way because of the woman he was spending time with on that boat.

There was no way she would risk losing Leonard, and that was enough to convince her that she was happy without the fame, but she enjoyed acting. She loved her classes and being on stage in front of all those people, and just _performing_. Maybe she didn't need to become rich and famous and star in movies, but she would love to act in more plays and maybe end up, at some point, on Broadway. She certainly didn't want to be in The Cheesecake Factory for the rest of her life.

There was a couple of knocks on her door and Penny quickly snapped her head to the side with a smile. Glad that her friends had turned up before she got too far into her own thoughts, down to the parts that freaked her out. Tonight was a girls night. It was about having a few drinks and being silly and talking to each other about their men and work and everything else. It wasn't the time to sit and revaluate her whole life. Taking a quick gulp of her wine as she lowered the music on her docking station a little, Penny stood up and answered her door to two very excited women.

"Bestie!" Amy exclaimed as she entered the apartment and pulled Penny in for a hug.

"Hey Ames." Penny replied with a laugh as she let go of her and she gave Bernadette a quick hug too. "The wine and glasses are on the table girls, help yourself." She said as she let go of Bernadette and closed the door to her apartment.

"Great! You have no idea how much I've been looking forward to tonight!" Bernadette said as she put down her purse and sat down on the sofa. "Howard has been driving me crazy!"

Laughing, Penny walked around the sofa and sat on the right side in between the two girls. She then poured each of them a glass of wine as Bernadette complained about her constant struggle to domesticate Howard; the man who was used to having his mother doing absolutely everything for him.

Penny found it funny to listen to. She still often found the idea of Howard being married hard to comprehend. Part of her still thought of him as Leonard's creepy little friend. She still remembered all the different ways he would shamelessly hit on her when she had first moved in. She found it funny now, but at the time it had been quite disturbing. She had never thought in a million years he would have gotten married to someone like Bernadette. Even when she had set them up she hadn't thought it would go past the first date. She was glad it had though. Bernadette really had brought out the best in him, and when she thought back to that speech he had given only a year or so ago when he had thought she was leaving him, it still almost brought her to tears. She was still surprised that something as beautiful as that had come out of his once sleaze filled mouth.

Sitting back in the sofa as she handed the girls their glasses and crossed her legs, she listened to the last of Bernadette's complaints, until she had gotten it all out of her system.

"So," Amy said with wide eyes, "anything new happening with you lately Penny?"

"Um…" Penny thought for a second. "No, not really. I had my exam a couple of days ago - that went well, but nothing much else. Works been crazy, but it always is." She said with a shrug.

Amy nodded and sipped on her wine, "Did you hear back from your audition yet?"

Penny shook her head and sighed. "No. Not yet, but those things can take a while sometimes."

Both Amy and Penny then snapped their heads to the left, in the direction of a giggling Bernadette, her phone in hand.

"What's so funny?" Penny asked, scooting a little closer in an attempt to see what her friend had found so funny on that screen.

"Oh… nothing." She said dismissively as she put her phone back down on the table and took a sip of her wine, unable to contain the little grin still on her face.

Penny's eyes narrowed. "Tell us! What is it?!"

"Nothing!" She replied with a hint of a giggle.

"Bernadette, there is no point in continuing to protest. You know we are not going to stop until you tell us what you are smiling at! So give it up!" Amy exclaimed as she leaned in a little closer.

Penny nodded her agreement. "Spill it, Bernie!"

Bernadette smiled and thought it over in her head for a few seconds before sighing, "Fine!" She said, putting her glass back on the table and grabbing her phone, causing Amy and Penny to grin triumphantly. "Howard and I just downloaded this new app called Snapchat. It's so much fun. He just sent me a picture of…" She paused, "well… let's just say he's been doing some 'creative manscaping'" She giggled.

Penny grimaced. "Eww, Bernie, I think I just got a little sick in my mouth." She said, only half-joking as she took another sip of her wine and Bernadette lightly hit her on the arm. "What was that for!? Sorry, but…" She shook her head, "Ew!"

"I don't understand." Amy shook her head and looked at them both in confusion. "Would one of you care to expand on what exactly 'manscaping' is, why Howard is doing it, and what is a 'Snapchat'?"

"Uh…" Penny said, looking towards Bernadette, eyes wide. "Manscaping is…"

"Um…" Bernadette added, tilting her head as she tried to think of the best way to describe what she was talking about.

"Its… remember when we took you to get your bikini area waxed?" Penny said and Amy nodded with a slight grimace at the memory of the pain. "It's kinda like that. But for guys. And well, more gross because it Howard."

"HEY!" Bernadette exclaimed, hitting Penny on the arm again.

"I'm not sorry." Penny said with a smile, "I stand by my statement!"

"Oh, okay. And Snapchat?" Amy asked, sipping from her glass and Penny glanced Bernadette's, confused about what that one was herself.

"You guys haven't heard of it before?" She asked and they both shook their heads. "Even you Penny?"

Penny shook her head again and gave a small shrug. "Nope. Never heard of it."

"Oh." Bernadette said, slightly shocked. "Okay," She held up her phone and began tapping at it as she spoke. "It's like this messaging thing, but you send pictures to each other. You can write a little message or whatever on the screen with it but you have to send a picture."

"Oh…" Penny said, a little unimpressed. "So its just like messaging pictures to each other." She raised her glass to her lips, "Exciting." She said sarcastically.

"It's fun!" Bernadette defended, "What makes it even better is the picture you send isn't saved. Like, if I sent a picture of myself to Howie right now, he would only have it for a few seconds and then it gets deleted." A sly grin came over Bernadette's face. "Trust me, it can be a lot of fun!" She giggled.

Penny grimaced a little again. "Okay, ew again…" She said before a small smile appeared on her face and she bit lightly on her lip, her head suddenly filling with all the fun she could have with such an app. "Although… that does sound interesting. What is it called again?"

"Snapchat." Bernadette replied and Penny instantly went to her own phone to find it. "Amy you should get it too and we can all message each other! You could even get Sheldon to get it!"

Penny smiled for a second as she flicked through her phone until the mention of Sheldon made her head click on to something she had wanted to bring up. "That reminds me, Amy, what's been going on with Sheldon?" She asked as she put her phone down, took a sip of wine and focused her attention on her brunette friend.

"Huh?" Amy asked, slightly taken aback, "What do you mean?"

"Sheldon. He's… different these days." Tilting her head, Penny thought over her next words, trying to find the right way to describe what she wanted to say. She took a quick sip of wine, still in thought, before shaking her head a little. "I can't describe it... He's just different. More… normal, but in a Sheldon-y kind of way. Still weird, but… not _as_ weird." She looked at Amy, who still had a blank expression on her face and then looked to Bernadette for some support.

Bernadette nodded, "Yeah, she's right Amy. Sheldon's different these days._ Especially_ with you. Has something happened that we don't know about?"

Both Penny and Bernadette stared at Amy expectantly and she continued to stare blankly back at them, her heart beginning to race. These girls always knew when she had something to tell. It wasn't exactly hard to read her body language in these types of situations. Slowly, she raised her glass to her lips with both hands and took a cautious sip as she thought over what to say next. She had known these girls a while, and she knew that they weren't ones for giving up on something until they were satisfied with the answer they got. She had been on the other end of it many times, pushing Penny to give them details about her relationship and her feelings towards it. She had never been on the receiving end though, and she was realizing just how unsettling it was. No wonder Penny often flipped out.

What did she tell them? She still stood by her earlier decision of not wanting to give away the details of the Special Sheldon Cooper Coupons, and she did consider just telling them that she didn't know what they were talking about, but she wouldn't, for a few different reasons.

She had been spending the most time with Sheldon ever since Leonard had left, so if anyone, in their minds, were to know what was going on with him, it was her. She also didn't want to lie to her friends. She knew part of what it was that was bringing out these changes in Sheldon. She knew he was trying to further their relationship along in his own special way, and since these girls had told her the truth in the past, she would feel guilty if she didn't extend them the same courtesy. And then there was the final reason that she just couldn't dismiss the question; she _wanted_ to talk about it. She wanted to tell them how he had hugged her and explain all the feelings that had come with it. She wanted to tell them of all the offers he had given her with those little laminated cards, she wanted to tell them about the sweet, caring side of Sheldon that they just didn't see like she did. She wanted to do it because she had never gotten the chance to do it before. It was always them, gushing about all the different things their men had done for them. Like the snowflake Leonard had brought home from the North Pole for Penny and the star necklace that Howard had actually taken to space for Bernadette. Amy wanted to spill all the details of how her man was just as sweet, just in a completely different way, and she knew they would get why such a small thing was so important too; maybe not as well as she did, but they would still understand to a certain degree.

"Amy, we can tell that there's something you're not telling us." Penny said as she glared at her, almost like a teacher talking to a naughty student. "You've been sipping on that wine for the past minute and a half. What's going on?"

* * *

**Ohh look, I even put in a tiny little cliffhanger. HA! :)**


	47. The Hug

**Okay so you all should know by now that im sorry these are taking so long to get out! The chapters are longer though so hopefull that makes up for it! Still love all those reviews so keep those coming and yeah, i hope you continue to enjoy it!**

* * *

**The Hug**

Amy let out a deep sigh and sat her wine on the table as her two best friends stared expectantly at her. There was nothing she could do really, she had to tell them something and although there was a part of her that wanted to keep what was happening between her and Sheldon private, she had such an urge to spill everything to these two girls so she could share her giddy excitement over it with them.

"Well?" Penny encouraged, her eyebrows raised.

"Okay." Amy said with a sigh as she rested her hands on her lap, trying to decide where best to begin, "Sheldon's…" She considered her next few words and then smiled. "Changing, or at least… he's trying to."

"How do you mean?" Bernadette asked with a look of intrigue on her face, one that was mirrored in Penny.

"He's…" Amy fingers began to nervously fidget on her lap. "…ever since that night after we played Dungeons and Dragons, he's been doing things that make me think he's trying to overcome his…" Amy waved her hand in front of her as she thought of the correct wording, "_difficulties_ with intimacy. I'm not completely sure _why_ it started…" She shrugged, "_Why_ he suddenly wanted to… get over it. But he does." She smiled, then frowned. "I think." Amy looked at her two friends, still staring at her, patiently waiting as she finished telling them what was going on. "When he touched my knee." She smiled, "_Intentionally_, a couple of months ago, I knew something was going on. He had never done something like that before. Well… except that time he took my hand when Howard went into space." A smile crept on to her face for a few seconds at the memory of that moment.

"You know Sheldon," She continued, "he always tries to keep his distance, but that evening _he_ made all the moves. _He_ came to my apartment and _he_ reached out to me." Amy's grin widened uncontrollably, "I didn't influence him at all, and he _still_ done it. He was showing me he wanted to keep our relationship progressing… and that was _big_." Amy looked at both of her friends again, "I know it probably doesn't seem like it to you-"

"No." Penny interrupted, shaking her head. "I understand how big that was. Trust me! I've known that guy long enough to know how freaking weird he is with all that stuff!" She said with a short laugh.

Amy smiled back, glad that her friend had the understanding that she had thought she did. "Well, ever since then he's been more... comfortable with me. He doesn't tense up when we touch accidently, and whenever it's on purpose he only gets like that for a few seconds then eases up. I really think he's getting used to the whole touching thing… but that's not the biggest part." Amy's smile grew wider, her heart racing just a little with excitement. "We hugged. Or more specifically, he hugged me. A real hug." Her eyes sparkled, "An _amazing_ hug."

Penny fought past the initial feeling of disappointment she had over that statement, forcing herself to remember that this was Sheldon she was talking about. A hug might not be big on her scale, but on Amy and Sheldon's, it certainly was. When she realized that her face broke out into a wide smile, as she began to feel the twinge of excitement that Amy was feeling too. She still remembered her excitement when he had hugged her for the very first time, although it was a different kind of hug, and a different kind of excitement than Amy's. "He hugged you?! Amy that's incredible! How was it? And why?! Why did it happen?"

"It was the _best_! I can only describe it as… as…" She let out a sigh as a contented look came over her face, "_magical_. And I think he really felt it too." Amy grinned as her mind drifted back over to that night that it had replayed so many times since it happened, her eyes glazed over in thought as she spoke. "It felt like he was right there with me, enjoying it - _feeling_ it - just as much as I was. There was only a few, brief seconds where he was rigid and stiff, but he relaxed. He didn't stand there like a statue, it was like he… he melted into it." A few tears hit her eyes as she spoke, tears she hadn't expected, after all, this wasn't a sad moment and she hadn't gotten like this about it since it had happened, but something about telling these girls about it, something about remembering and feeling those emotions she had felt that day, made her choke up slightly. Thinking of just how much that man of hers was changing, and seemingly, all for her. "He held on to me with the same amount of intensity and… adoration that I held him with." Amy smiled and looked down at her feet as she blinked away those few happy tears. "It was just… perfect."

"Oh my God, _Amy_!" Penny's voice cracked as she stood up from her spot, waving a hand in front of her face as if to wipe away tears that hadn't even fallen. "This is amazing! I'm so happy for you, sweetie." She said as she leant over and pulled Amy into a tight hug.

Amy smiled as Penny clung tightly to her and she held her back, laughing slightly through the lump in her throat.

Bernadette smiled at the two girls in their excited, emotional embrace. This news didn't excite her as much as it did those two, and she knew that was because she wasn't as close to Sheldon as they were. She didn't understand as much as they did how big of a leap this was for him, and still only really saw it as a 'just a hug'. She knew, however, that this _was_ a big step for Sheldon, and she knew just how much it meant to Amy, she just didn't get the same giddy excitement from it as Penny did. She was happy for her though, that she was certain of.

"How did it happen Amy?" Bernadette asked a few moments later, a grin on her face as she reached for her glass of wine.

Penny pulled away, giving Amy another wide smile as she held on to her shoulders, before going to sit back down, "Yeah, go on bestie! Tell us all the details!" She grabbed her glass and took a few sips, while the other two girls done the same.

"What do you want me to tell you? I just told you what happened."

"How about _why_ it happened?" Penny asked as if it was obvious. "Sheldon doesn't hug people out of the blue. Even you! There must have been some sort of reason for it."

Amy's heart raced again as she thought through her options. She either had to tell them about the coupons or she had to think up a lie, and quick. Telling them the truth would be the easiest option, but she almost felt like she owed it to Sheldon to keep it between themselves. She knew he was becoming comfortable doing this stuff with her, but she was certain he still wasn't comfortable with showing it off and having everyone know about it.

"Um…" Amy said as her fingers drummed along her glass and she cleared her throat. "I… asked him for one." She cautiously answered, that being the only thing she could quickly think up.

"And he just… did it?" Penny incredulously replied.

"Well… no. Not right away. He asked for some time," Amy said, suddenly feeling a little at ease as her answer sort of fit in with the truth. She did ask him for the hug, she just missed out the part about the coupons that had been her means to ask. "He said if I wanted him to participate in a romantic type of hug I had to give him time to prepare, so I did." Amy stopped and looked at her friends, waiting on them to comment but they didn't. She took this as a sign they believed her and were waiting on her to continue. "I went to his apartment a couple of days later and I didn't mention it again. I waited for him to bring it up."

"And he did?" Bernadette asked, a little shock showing in her face.

"He did." Amy nodded, "In a very Sheldon-y 'let's get this over with' kind of way, but he did." She smiled, "And we stood up and hugged, for a long time too it wasn't quick."

"Longer than five Mississippi's?" Penny asked.

"Yes." She grinned and Penny held back a squeal.

"And what happened after it?" Bernadette asked, becoming more and more excited by this turn of events.

"Nothing." Amy said with a shake of her head and a slight shrug. "We just carried on as normal. There was a small, glimmer of a moment where I thought he might kiss me," Amy's wide grin, slowly faded, "but it passed, and we made tea."

"You made tea?!" Bernadette exclaimed. "Why didn't you go in for the kiss if you thought he was going to?"

Amy shrugged a little. "I didn't want to… Okay, no – I did want to I just… I don't want to push him too far. I love this progress he's making, but it's very timid. Very fragile, I don't want to push it so far it breaks and he retreats back into himself again."

"But… you could be waiting around for a _long_ time." Bernadette said, "This is Sheldon we are talking about. He could take forever to do it at his own pace maybe you _need_ to push him, just a little. Do what you did with the hug and ask for one."

Amy seemed sceptical. She knew that she could do this. She could bring up the 'one kiss' coupon on their next date night, but she still wasn't sure about it yet. "I don't know… I feel like that just might be too much for him right now."

"But you said you thought it felt right?" Bernadette replied, "And if it feels right, in the moment, you should go for it!" Bernadette excitedly encouraged. "Maybe he's just scared of taking that step and needs you to do it." She tilted her head to the right to face Penny, "What do you think Penny? You agree with me, right?"

Penny looked towards Bernadette and then to Amy, a little unsure of what to say. While she agreed to a certain point that Amy should have just kissed him when she felt that moment there instead of letting it pass, she also understood why she didn't want to push him. She understood because she knew that was what Leonard went through with her. He had pushed her too far in the past, and look what had happened to them. Leonard was giving her the space she needed now; space to grow and become comfortable with her own problems, and that was just what she imagined Sheldon needed too. For the first time in her life she felt herself actually able to relate with Sheldon and what he was going through in a way she never had before. The details were different, but their situation was still the same. They were both scared, they were both worried about taking that next step in their lives and what she, and she imagined Sheldon, needed right now, was time. Time to work their own way past it, with their significant others, hopefully, by their side, helping them along.

But part of her was still conflicted. As much as she related to Sheldon, she saw what this 'take it slow' attitude was doing to Amy. She put on a brave face most of the time but Penny knew it had to hurt to be so close to someone, yet be so physically far away. Amy could barely touch the man that Penny had no doubt she was in love with, and that was a feeling that she sort of understood too.

She wanted to tell her to go for it. To kiss him and hope that Bernadette was right, and that all he needed was that little push, but she knew she would never forgive herself if she done that, and it had the catastrophic affect that she knew it could have. She remembered all too well how easily it could all backfire. It had happened once, almost twice with her.

"Amy, just…" Penny thought over her next few words for a second, chewing on her bottom lip lightly as she did so. "Just don't force it. Okay? If a moment comes up where you feel like… like it's the perfect time to initiate a _real_ kiss, then by all means go for it, just don't… don't force it on him. Don't push it too much."

Amy and Bernadette looked at Penny with a little confusion and surprise. Both of them a little shocked by her answer.

"What?" Penny frowned when she saw them both staring at her.

"Nothing," Amy replied, her brow furrowed as she shook her head. "I'm just surprised to hear you say that."

"Yeah…" Penny replied shrugging one shoulder as she looked down at her glass on her lap. "I know it's not my usual kind of advice but… what you two have is special, I don't want it to be ruined because you push him too hard too soon." Penny let out a sigh. "Ugh, I know it's _not_ too soon. Three years is a crazy amount of time to wait for this kind of thing," She shook her head, "and honestly I wouldn't have blamed you if you turned away from him years ago. But… but you two have something, it's special, we all see it even although you think we are just joking around most of the time." She gave her a small smile, "and like you say he is moving forward - _slowly-_" Penny widened her eyes and laughed, "Yeah, but he _is_ still doing it. I seriously doubt he would have done it for anyone else and I just know that if you push him too far he will freak out… and I don't think that will do either of you any good."

Amy thought over Penny's words for a moment. She knew she was right, she agreed completely. She had to wait for the right moment to give him that 'one kiss' coupon, and right now, it was too soon. She was still a little surprised that Penny had agreed though, and hadn't told her to go, 'in for the kill' as it were, and force the neurotic man out of his comfort zone, because she was sure that if Penny had given her opinion on this situation a few months ago, it would have been something to that effect she would have said. Amy smiled, only just registering the small changes that were happening in Penny. She had been so focused lately on what was going on with Sheldon, she had barely noticed how different Penny was becoming. She didn't give her answer based on what she felt Amy wanted or needed alone, she thought of Sheldon too, and how difficult this whole thing was for him, as well as her.

"You're right." Amy nodded, "I won't push it."

Penny smiled, "Unless you feel like… like it is just perfect. If the moment is there, take it! But don't go looking for it, you'll just know when it's there."

Amy smiled her agreement and slowly the conversation turned into the more light-hearted. The music in the background got just a little louder, as the girls got tipsier.

At one point a little later, Bernadette took out her phone and gave the girls a guided tour of the new app the two of them would soon download, taking a few random pictures in the process to send to Howard and a few others on her contact list, each one a little sillier than the last.

"Are you going to get Leonard to get this, bestie?" Amy slurred as she took Bernadette's phone from her to take a picture. "So you can show him what he's missing out on!?" She laughed then hiccupped.

"Hell yeah!" Penny replied instantly, a wicked grin on her face, "And trust me, I'll be making sure he shows me some of his 'manscaping'!"

Bernadette and Amy both broke into laughter, Bernadette edging further to the edge of the sofa as the glass of wine swooshed around, barely staying in the glass.

"If he's lucky maybe I'll send him some of the girls." She joked, raising an eyebrow just enough for them to know that that was exactly what she was going to do. The girls giggled as Penny shook her shoulders, making her chest move just a bit, "Some good ones of his 'breast friends'"

Bernadette and Amy continued to laugh, almost hysterically, until Bernadette let out a gasp, "Whoops!" She exclaimed as she held a hand to her mouth and softly giggled, "I spilled some!"

"That's okay I'll get a washcloth." Penny smiled as she got up and headed to the kitchen, putting a cloth under the tap before throwing it to Bernadette who missed it completely.

"Whoops again!" She giggled as she knelt down on the floor and reached out for the cloth about a foot away.

Penny made her way back to the sofa, another bottle of wine in hand, deciding that since they were already pretty drunk they may as well go for it and get completely hammered. There was nothing stopping them anyway, none of them, even her, had to work the next day.

"Penny! What are these?" Bernadette asked as she sat the cloth on the coffee table and sat on the floor, holding a bundle of comic books in her hand.

Penny squinted a little to look at what she was holding as she took the cork out of the wine from the kitchen.

"I believe those are comic books, Bernadette." Amy said with a slight slur, "Most likely Leonard's, unless our bestie here has attained a fondness for the genre."

Both girls then looked up at Penny questioningly as she shrugged her shoulders and walked over to them with a newly opened bottle of red wine. "They are Leonard's, I started reading them a while ago when I was bored." She answered very nonchalantly as she poured wine into each of the girls' glasses.

"Oh." Both girls said, almost in unison. "Well, since we are on the subject," Amy continued, as Bernadette sat back up on the sofa again after cleaning up the mess she had made. "What is that? Over there beside what looks to be a pile of Sci-fi and Action DVDs that I'm going to assume aren't yours either." She grinned and pointed in the direction of Penny's dinner table, to the object sitting on a shelf beside the window there.

"That's Leonard's batsignal." She shrugged again, "I was playing with it a while ago." She grinned, "It's actually really cool he has it personalized and everything!"

Amy and Bernadette both gave each other quizzical looks. "Uh huh." Bernadette said with a nod as she stood up, narrowing her eyes just a little. "I'm just going to the bathroom."

Penny nodded, as Bernadette walked off and began to chat to Amy until Bernadette came back a few minutes later, "I spotted quite a lot of Leonard's stuff in there." She nodded to the bedroom, "T-shirts, hoodies… Why are they all here?"

"I was using them to sleep in." Penny said, slightly irritated that she would bring it up when she knew Bernadette knew why she had Leonard's clothes.

"Yeah I know, but, there's a lot in there! I saw your laundry basket it's basically full of his stuff!" She giggled as she sat down.

"So? What are you trying to say?"

"Nothing really, just making an observation!"

Penny gave a short nod as she looked incredulously at Bernadette. "I like having his stuff here, it's nice."

"Well we can see that." Amy added, "You are gathering quite a 'Leonard' collection! Before you know it you'll be moving him in!" She laughed as she sat back in her chair and took another gulp of wine.

Penny froze up just a little at Amy's comment, letting her mind only briefly think it over and wonder if that really was what it seemed like, until she looked towards Bernadette who was laughing along with her. It was just a joke. Amy hadn't meant anything by it, she was drunk. There was no moving in, she was simply surrounding herself with things that belonged to the man she loved. Things that would get put back where they belonged as soon as he was home and she could have him instead.

"Whatever," Penny said, shaking her head and waving the comment off, "Let's play a game or something."

Amy sat up straight, "Oh! I vote twister!"

* * *

The girls began to leave a few hours later, after a few drunken games of twister and a lot more shameless gossiping. Penny walked the two stumbling girls to the door when their cab had been called and was waiting on them downstairs, giving each of them a big hug as they walked out the door.

Letting out a deep sigh once her door was closed, Penny looked over her empty, but now messy apartment and headed back to where she had been sitting. She picked up her glass that was still almost half full and took a sip as she picked up her phone and relaxed back into her sofa. Deciding to leave all the other mess around her where it was.

Penny opened up her phone and quickly decided to download that app Bernadette had been talking about earlier, since all of the revelations and gossiping of the evening had distracted her from doing it when Bernadette had brought it up.

Penny typed the name into the 'search' part of the app store and waited as it gave her some results, smiling when she saw the one she recognised from Bernie's phone. After tapping the icon to download, Penny sipped her wine again as she waited for it to finish and once it had she put her glass down on the table and grinned as she began to explore the new addition to her social networking applications. After spending a few moments looking around it, remembering all the things Bernie had shown her earlier, she typed her phone number into the requested spot and waited as it found those on her contact list that were already on the app. It found Bernadette and Howard and Amy, who she assumed had downloaded it during the evening, although she couldn't remember when, and she added them all, hoping that it wouldn't be a decision she would later regret where Howard was concerned. After a few more moments it also found Raj and a couple of others from The Cheesecake Factory and from college. After adding a few of the people she actually wanted to have as her contacts, she switched it off and quickly checked the time. It was nearing one am which meant it would only be almost eight in the North Sea.

Penny thought over calling Leonard for a few seconds, before deciding that since it was so early where he was, and she was still a little drunk and quite tired, it probably would be the best idea. Instead she decided to give him a quick text. They had already planned to Skype in the morning anyway, so she didn't have to wait long to talk to him and by then, she would be much more coherent.

Opening up her messages and tapping Leonard's conversation, she grinned as she gave him a quick text.

_Hey baby! Morning! I'm just going to bed, the girls were over but they just left. Im just a little bit drunk! Bernie told me about this new app thing called Snapchat. I just got it, you should too. I think we could have a lot of fun with it. A LOOOOT of fun. ;) I love you baby, talk to you in the morning. Xxx_

Penny hit send and then jumped up as she put her phone into her pocket, her face in a wide grin as she stumbled to the sink with her glass. As she stood at the kitchen, she glanced over her apartment, pondering whether to start putting the mess away now so she didn't have it to do tomorrow, or to just go to bed. As her eyes scanned the room, they fell upon that batsignal at the window and her mind flashed back to what the girls had said earlier. It dawned on her briefly that she had, unknowingly, moved a good bit of his stuff over to her apartment, and not once had she thought of any meaning behind it other than that of her finding comfort in those objects, clothes and comics. The only reason she hadn't put them back yet was because it hadn't really crossed her mind, but she _would_ put them back.

Leaving her thoughts at that, she turned off the music still playing from her speakers, and her light as she made her way from her living area to the bedroom. Deciding, like she knew she would, that the mess can wait till morning.

Penny entered her bedroom, throwing her phone onto the bed, managing to make it land right beside Ernie on Leonard's side and headed to the bathroom with a smile to wash up, before coming back out and sloppily getting changed into her pyjamas. By the time she got back into her bed and checked her phone, she saw that Leonard had replied.

_Hope you had a fun night with the girls, I'm taking it easy today. It is Sunday after all! I'll download that app, although I'm not sure what it does. I'm guessing it's something I want to be a part of though! Call or text me when you're awake. Goodnight, sweet dreams, and I love you too. Xxx_

Penny grinned, her eyes focusing as best as they could on those three little words complete with three like kisses at the end. She continued to smile at his short text for a few moments, before locking it and setting it to the side, grateful that she didn't have to set any alarms for work the next day and could sleep in for as long as she pleased. She then slid under her covers, pulling her little teddy close to her chest like always as she drifted off to sleep, that silly grin still on her face.


	48. Advice From Experience

**So, just want to say again, thanks for all the reviews. They are awesome. :) This chapter focuses on Leonard and Paul and lets you know a little more about Paul. I wasn't even going to really do this, but then Tensor mentioned in a review about wanting to know more about him and I thought, why not! Plus, I do enjoy writing Paul. Also, I've already got the next chapter pretty much done so if I can continue with the speed I've been going at, you just might start to get more regular updates again! Woohoo!**

**Advice From Experience**

Leonard walked back from his lab, tired, hungry and just a little stressed out. The day had been long, experiments had gone wrong and equipment had broken which meant he and his co-workers had to stay on until everything was fixed and ready to be used the next day. There was no option for them to get behind in their work, they only had around seven weeks left, so that left no room to fall back, and he didn't want to. Even the slight possibility that they would have to stay, even a week longer, on this boat made his stomach churn, so he done everything in his power to make sure that didn't happen, even staying on in his lab as late as he did tonight, not getting back into his room until after eight that evening.

Although he had to admit part of the reason for that had to do with the fact that when he wasn't occupying himself with work, he would dwell on thoughts of how much he missed Penny. And when his mind started down that road, it was hard to stop it, often leaving him with a lonely feeling that he just couldn't bear.

As he entered his room, shoulders slumped and face in a scowl, he gave Paul a grumbled "Hey," in acknowledgement of his presence on the small sofa beside the television and he gave a similar groan in response. Apparently it had been a crappy day for both of them, he thought as he threw his bag down beside his desk and lay down on his bed, letting out a deep sigh as his muscles finally got some chance to relax.

"You have a crap day too?" Paul asked, his head still angled towards the television.

"Pretty much." Leonard mumbled as he rubbed his temples with the thumb and middle finger of his right hand, his glasses sitting on his forehead.

There had only been one definite good thing about today - that he was reminded of by a little buzz on his phone - and that was the updates of Penny's day he got sent every so often from the new app he assumed she was pretty much obsessed with. At various parts of his day, ever since she had woken up at half seven to take Sheldon to work, he had been sent an array of pictures, starting with one of her in bed, only just awake and snuggling into her little Ernie teddy, a message across the front reading 'I wish you were here'. That was a picture he wished he could have saved, however within seconds the adorable sight was gone from his screen, leaving it nothing but a memory.

There had been others; one of Sheldon walking down the stairs in front of her, telling some story by the looks of it, and a message of 'I can't wait until you take him back!'. That one had brought out a chuckle out amongst his stressful day. The next few were ones of her in her uniform, getting ready to do the lunch shift, and a couple of her time in the restaurant. The one he had just received was one of her in what he assumed was her staff room, making a kiss pout at the camera with a message telling him she was on her break.

Again, a small smile crept on to his face, enjoying the fact that even when she was miles away, she still had the ability to perk his day up. He loved the fact that she seemed so happy and carefree, although he knew that it could just be because she only wanted him to see her like that. In the pictures he had sent back to her, in his lab and a couple of the views from the deck, he had made sure that in every picture he was visible in, he looked happy. He never mentioned how stressful his day was and made sure not to show it. He didn't need her worrying about him, and he was pretty sure she was thinking the same when sending hers to him and he was so thankful for it. He was glad to have the odd picture of her bright, smiling face every so often and it only made him wish they had discovered this app sooner than just a couple of days ago.

Leonard thought of sending her a picture back, but instead decided to just send a real message, mainly because he just didn't know what kind of picture to send, he never really had been the posing type. Fixing his glasses back onto his head properly, he tapped away at his phone.

_Hey honey. I'm just back at my room now, it's been a_

Leonard stopped typing and thought for a second. How would he describe his day? He didn't want to tell her it had been stressful or long, even though it had, he didn't want her to worry about him any more now than he did when he was sending those pictures. With his brow furrowed he searched his vocabulary for a more suitable word… busy? Leonard nodded to himself. Yes, busy was a good way to describe it. It wasn't a lie, yet busy didn't always have to be a bad thing.

_Busy day. I've loved all your little pictures, this new app really is fun! It sucks that I can't save them though, that one of you this morning was just adorable. Xxx_

After sending his text off Leonard sat up on the edge of the bed, squirming as he looked ahead and tried to decipher what Paul was watching. Whatever it was, it didn't seem like the kind of thing to interest him. He then glanced towards Paul, looking intently at the television in a way he had never seen him do before. He looked deep in thought, and a little dejected. Leonard was about to question it and ask if he was alright, when a sound on his phone alerted him to a new text and his attention was instantly diverted.

_Good! I'm glad you liked them! I'm pretty much obsessed with it. The girls have been getting pictures from me non-stop for the past few days, a little like you! Oh, yeah, you can screenshot the pictures, but it can be kinda hard if the timer is short. I'll put it on longer, but you will have to use those quick finger skills of yours to pull it off! ;) Xxx_

Leonard grinned, wondering if it was his overactive imagination that made that last part sultrier than she had intended, or if the little winky face at the end was proof she meant it just as he took it. Shaking his head a little, his cheeks flushing just a bit, he tapped a message back.

_I can't believe you're only telling me this now! I'll have to try it with the next one. What time do you finish work? Xxx_

He put his phone in his pocket after sending off the last text, instantly wondering if he should have continued with the teasing banter. The trouble was he never really felt like he was good at it. It had taken him a while just to get used to the dirty talk on Skype and he still struggled with doing it on texts, often deciding just to dismiss it completely, unless he was unable to resist. He wondered for a second if that disappointed her, if she wanted him to continue the flirty game, but he figured she knew him well enough to know he just wasn't experienced enough, or confident enough to easily carry on with it.

Looking back up from his phone, Leonard noticed how glum his roommate still looked and remembered what he had planned on doing before Penny's text had interrupted him. It really was about time he let Paul pour his problems out to him, instead of it being the other way around, he only hoped that Paul appreciated what he was trying to do as much as he had, and didn't think that he was trying to impose on his life.

Leonard stood up and walked towards the small kitchen, "Do you want anything?" He asked, motioning to the fridge, getting only a shake of the head in return. "Okay." He said as he opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water for himself.

He knew then that this was going to be difficult. He didn't know much about Paul, but he had learned over these past weeks when he wasn't in any kind of mood to talk, and right now was one of them. As he stood in the kitchen, slowly opening his bottle of water, he considered leaving it and simply letting it pass in the hope that his bold and chatty friend would come back to the surface once more, but decided against it. He had to try, he thought as he took a drink. Even if the man threw it back in his face, he had to _try_ to talk to him.

Screwing the lid back onto his bottle, he walked over to the small sofa and sat down on the opposite side to Paul and focused on the television. Leonard pondered over where to start. He had never really been one for starting up deep discussions; being with Penny had all but drilled that out of him through fear of freaking her out.

As he thought it over, he stared at the screen ahead of him, still trying to figure out what it was he was watching as he fidgeted with the bottle in his hands, until a tone and a buzzing in his pocket made him jump a little in surprise. He glanced at Paul and gave a small smile when he noticed the confused look on his face, before pulling out the phone and nodding towards it to show the reason for his actions. With a nod Paul turned back to the screen, and Leonard opened his text.

_I only realized yesterday, Bernie told me! It's pretty quiet today so I should be finished around two. I should be online waiting on you at around three, is that okay? I'll wanna get out of this stinking uniform and have a shower first. Xxx_

Grinning into the phone the way he always did when Penny texted him, Leonard considered replying, before deciding to stick to focusing on Paul first. Penny was working, so he really shouldn't be texting her and keeping her away from her job anyway, not that she would care. He locked his phone and slid it back into his pocket before glancing in Paul's direction.

"Penny?" Paul asked with a nod to the phone he was putting in his pocket.

"Yeah." Leonard replied as he sat back in the sofa, fidgeting with the water bottle again. "We're gonna Skype later on, she's working right now."

"Oh." Paul nodded. "I guess you will want me out of the way then?" He said with a smile.

"Oh! No, no!" Leonard replied, a little frantic. "That's not what I'm saying. It will be late, you stay here, I'll go up to the rec room and talk to her there."

Paul chuckled and shook his head. "Relax Leonard. You don't have to do that, it's fine. I was gonna go up there soon anyway. Some of the guys are having a Lord of The Rings Marathon night and since they, well mainly Karina, have been going on about how I've never seen it before, I figured I should finally just watch them."

"You haven't watched Lord of the Rings before?" Leonard asked, a little shocked.

"No."

"Wow. I thought everyone had seen those films." Leonard mumbled, "That actually sounds like fun, I might come up after talking with Penny."

Paul chuckled, "Somehow I knew you would say that."

Leonard softly chuckled back and slowly the laughter died, until both of the men were back looking at the television once again. Leonard figured this was his chance, he had seemed to perk up a bit so asking him how he was doing might not seem like such a big thing. "So… um… how was your day?"

"I already told you." He replied with a frown. "It was pretty uneventful."

Leonard nodded. "You um… you haven't really seemed yourself these past few days... Is everything okay?"

Leonard saw Paul look briefly to the floor then back to the television as he shifted his weight uncomfortably, "I'm fine." He replied blankly.

Leonard almost let it go right then, worried about pressing too hard, until he reminded himself that Paul wasn't Penny. He didn't know for sure how he would react, but he would never know unless he tried. "You don't seem fine." He said before opening his bottle of water and taking a sip, almost as if doing that would make the comment more casual.

Paul shot Leonard a look, and then turned back to the television. "Well I am. I'm just a little tired, that's all."

"Oh. Okay." Realizing he was getting nowhere with this approach, Leonard decided to move on. "So, are you looking forward to going back home? We've only got about seven weeks left you know?"

Paul simply stared at the screen and awkwardly shifted his gaze. "Yeah… I guess."

"You don't seem like you are." Leonard retorted.

Paul let out a deep sigh, "Yeah, well, Leonard, not all of us have a hot girlfriend back home waiting on us." He said in a tone that wasn't quite angry, but was definitely frustrated and fed up.

Leonard could tell he was touching a sore spot, but he didn't want to leave it there, if nothing else, he was curious to know more about him. "I suppose not…" Leonard quietly replied, looking down at the bottle in his hands. "But you have family, right?" He looked Paul's way again. "And friends back home. Surely you're looking forward to seeing them again?"

"Yeah." He sighed and turned to face Leonard. "I'm looking forward to seeing them… I suppose. It's just…" He shifted his weight and shrugged one shoulder, "My family don't live nearby, they moved out of London and up to Cheshire before I came here and my friends… Well, I'm looking forward to seeing a few of them again, it just…" He sighed, "It sucks going back to an empty flat."

Leonard nodded slowly and at that moment the tone on his phone went off as well as a short buzz. He gave Paul a small apologetic smile as he reached into his pocket, while Paul turned his attention back to the television.

After unlocking his phone Leonard clicked on the Snapchat icon that had a little red 'one' beside it and almost choked on air when he saw the picture in front of him. Penny was in what he assumed to be the bathroom of the restaurant, showing off her stained shirt, obviously after just having a tray of drinks spilled over her. The tag line read, 'Your breast friends got wet :( Better change the shirt.'

In the time it took him to read the line on his screen, the picture disappeared and he inwardly cursed himself for not remembering the screenshot trick. At that moment he made a decision to instantly capture whatever picture it was she sent, even before he took the time to look at it properly, although even he knew that was easier said than done. Locking his phone again and sliding it into his pocket, he shyly turned towards Paul who was letting out a soft chuckle.

"Exciting text?" He asked.

"Picture." He replied. "She's just discovered Snapchat."

"Ahh." He nodded, "The cruel social networking app that gives… but takes away almost as quickly." He chuckled, "It's pretty evil. You need to work on your reaction skills and get those pictures screen captured."

"Yeah, I know." Leonard replied, nodding as he opened his bottle of water to take a drink.

"So, how was your day today?"

Leonard sighed with a little disappointment. He had barely gotten Paul to open up and he was already changing the subject over to him. He supposed that he could probably switch it back at some point though. "Not great. It's been pretty stressful lately, especially with our team leader being unable to work this past week or so. I've had to take on a lot of his responsibility and it's pretty tough."

"Yeah, these things can get pretty rough near the end. Everyone is scrambling to get everything done, panicking that they don't have enough time left to get everything finished. It always works out though, you just gotta ride it out. Plus, you are doing well anyway, everyone is pretty happy with the work you've been doing."

"Really?" Leonard frowned, "How would you know?"

Paul smiled. "I've been doing these kinds of expeditions for years, Leonard. I'm pretty friendly with some of the guys high up. I was talking to one of them the other day, somehow the subject got on to you and he mentioned how well you were doing. He said you seemed to be coping with the stress of it all pretty well, considering it's your first time out here with this team."

"Oh." Leonard replied, a little shocked, although flattered nonetheless.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I told them that that might have something to do with that pretty blonde of yours that you talk to at night. You know, _relieving_ some of your stress…" He chuckled, "The long showers probably help out too." Leonard turned and gave him unimpressed stare, his jaw slackened, "I'm kidding." Paul chuckled again.

Leonard's stare fell to his bottle and he shook his head, "I can't believe they really think I'm doing that good of a job here. I really wasn't sure if I was."

"Yeah, well, you are." Paul stood up and headed to the kitchen. "Beer?"

"Uh no, thanks." He said, still in a little daze of shock. "I've got my water here."

Paul nodded and walked back over to him twisting open his beer as he sat down. A minute or so of silence passed before he let out a short sigh and spoke again. "Look, Leonard, can I give you a little advice?"

Leonard's brow furrowed. "Uh, yeah, sure."

"These guys – the ones that run this expedition – and Stephen Hawking himself, they will probably wanna use you again. Like I said you've done really well this whole trip so far, even stepping in to lead when that guy got ill. You're a hard worker Leonard, and I'd be surprised if they didn't offer you the chance to do this sort of thing again."

Leonard raised his eyebrows in surprise. This was a lot to take in. He hadn't even thought of the idea of being asked to go on future expeditions, and although he was flattered by it, he honestly wasn't sure if he liked the idea. Before he could open his mouth to speak though, Paul spoke again after taking a drink from his beer.

"Look, I don't want to tell you what you should or shouldn't do here, but I do want to say one thing." He stopped and looked down at his beer, before sighing and looking back up at Leonard again. "If you do decide to go away again, on one of these expeditions, just… just don't let them take over."

"What do you mean?" Leonard asked, his expression deeply confused.

"I know these types of jobs are huge, _huge_ opportunities. Getting to work for the greatest mind on earth is incredible, but don't let it take up your life. You will be asked to go from one trip to another if you keep doing well in them." He sipped on his beer, and then focused his eyes on the bottle in his hand. "I'm already scheduled to leave on another one after Christmas - and that's alright for me, I don't have any attachments - but… it wouldn't be fair to you to keep doing that… or to Penny."

Leonard looked at Paul, who was once again staring at the television. Leonard had seen his expression turn solemn towards the end of what he had said, and he couldn't help but feel for him. "So… what, are you saying I should turn them all down?"

"No," Paul replied, turning to him once again, "not all of them. Not if you don't want to. Just… don't put them first. I know it seems exciting and I know you've enjoyed working here but it doesn't get easier. Being away from home the whole time is hard, and _trust_ me, keeping a stable relationship is even harder. Penny won't wait at home for you forever if you decide you want to keep on going on these trips, and you have to ask yourself if you would really want her to do that. Leonard you love her, I can tell you do and I'm pretty sure losing her would hurt you more than missing out on what is effectively a job. I know they are huge opportunities that could further your career, but let's face it, you're gonna get recognition after this anyway, and you are already pretty successful. Being a top physicist at Cal-tech is huge. You've already exceled." Paul sat back in the sofa and let out another short sigh, his voice becoming soft and sad. "Look, all I'm saying is, furthering your career this way is fine, but… being hugely successful means nothing if you have no one to share it with. There will always be jobs out there for you to take, there are loads of them for guys with a resume like yours… but there's only one Penny. You don't wanna risk losing what you have with her for a job," Paul looked Leonard dead in the eye, "trust me on that one, I speak from experience."

Leonard continued to stare at Paul until his gaze shifted, once more, to the television. Leonard then glanced down at the bottle of water in his hands, trying to take in everything Paul had just said. He had effectively told him in the space of a few minutes that he was doing so well on this ship that he would more than likely be asked to participate in more, before telling him that he probably shouldn't take it, citing Penny as the reason. The way he had told him too, with such feeling, told him that he was speaking with the luxury of hindsight, before he even told him it was and suddenly the reason for Paul being so sad made sense to him. "Were you together long?" He timidly asked. A little worried that his question just might be a little too close for comfort.

Paul looked at him in shock for a few seconds, obviously not expecting that question, and then shrugged. "On and off for three years." Paul replied as he solemnly looked down at the beer in his hand as his fingers played with the labels on the front. "I didn't want to stop going on these trips. I don't even know if it was because I wanted to become this highly successful engineer, or if I just wasn't ready to grow up and settle down yet. Either way, she got sick of waiting on me… We shared that flat together in London, that's why it always sucks getting ready to go back but…" He let out a deep sigh, his fingers still tracing the bottle, "I just haven't found it in me to sell it… Not yet." He breathed in, took a sip of his beer, and looked at Leonard. "That's why I _keep_ going on these trips. It keeps me away from there for a bit and well… it keeps me from finding that girl that might ultimately break my heart." He let out a half-hearted chuckle. "I think I'm better off living the single life anyway." He said as his smile faded and he looked back towards the television again.

Leonard knew then that he was done talking and decided to leave it at that. He tried to think of something to say to make him feel better, but the words wouldn't come as his mind still filled with thoughts of future expeditions that he would be asked on, according to Paul anyway, and the effect that going on those trips would have on his and Penny's relationship. It had gone fairly well this time. They had missed each other terribly, he knew that, but they had almost gotten through it without too much trouble and he was certain that they would be able to do it again, but he just wasn't sure he wanted to.

Leonard mentally shook the thoughts away, deciding it probably best not to think too much over something that hadn't even been confirmed. He didn't know if he was going to be asked to do this again, that was only Paul's assumptions, and even if he did, he would need to talk with Penny about it first.

"Thanks Paul."

"For what?" He turned and asked.

"I dunno." He shrugged, "The advice, I guess."

"Oh... well, you're welcome. Thank you too." Paul said and Leonard looked curiously at him. "You know, for getting me to talk. It does help getting some of this stuff out." He gave him a hint of a smile.

"No problem." Leonard said with a smile, and for the next hour or so they sat and watched the television, talking every now and again but not about anything serious. Leonard noticed that Paul had come out of his slump since their talk and he was glad that he was being more himself again.

Sometime later, Leonard's phone beeped and buzzed again, and Paul gave him a knowing smile as he reached into his pocket.

"Remember, screenshot first." He chuckled before sipping on his second beer.

Leonard smiled and unlocked his phone, unable to shake the feeling that Paul was watching him and when he glanced to the side he saw he was. Giving him a glare, Paul turned his head back to the television with a smirk as Leonard opened the app and the picture that came with it.

Somehow, he barely knew how, he managed to capture the picture Penny had sent, although he had barely had enough time to see what it was through the rush of trying to save it. Going into his gallery, to search for the picture that had disappeared from his screen, Leonard's heart raced just a little in anticipation, until the picture he had captured, filled his phone. His cheeks flushed involuntarily as he gazed at the screen and Penny standing in front of the full sized mirror located behind her bathroom door in nothing but her underwear. The message across the front reading, 'Just going for a shower. So glad to get that uniform off ;)'

Leonard swallowed hard, unable to shift his eyes away from her, his cheeks getting hotter.

"A picture worth saving I guess?" Paul asked and Leonard instinctively locked the phone to stop him from seeing what he had.

He cleared his throat. "Yes. Definitely."

Paul chuckled and was taking a sip of his beer when there was a couple of quick knocks at the door. Leonard and Paul both turned to each other, each of them waiting to see if the other got up first and after a few seconds of no movement at all, Leonard huffed and stood up, causing a small victorious smirk to cover Paul's face.

Shaking his head with a small grin Leonard walked over to the door and opened it, his grin widening when he saw Karina on the other side.

"Oh, hey!" Leonard said as he stepped back to allow her to come forward. "Nice shirt." He said with a chuckle when he noticed the Star Wars graphic printed on the black material.

"Thanks!" Karina replied as she glanced down at her own t-shirt. "You guys coming up to the rec room? Lord of the Rings is about to start!"

Paul let out a noise that almost sounded like he was in pain as she squirmed on the sofa. "Do we have to?"

"No, Leonard doesn't have to, but _you_ do!" Karina replied with a grin.

"Oi! That ain't fair!" Paul protested.

"Yeah, it is. Leonard's seen the movies; you haven't. Plus you promised you would, so get up and quit complaining!"

Leonard grinned as Paul squirmed again and reluctantly got up. "You promised her?" He said teasingly. "You never told me that."

Paul shot Leonard a glare. "Yeah. It was a matter of bad judgement, alright? I promised I'd watch them if she promised to quit making fun of my accent." He shook his head, "It wasn't worth it."

Leonard chuckled. "Look at you two making promises to each other." He teased again and this time both of them gave him an unimpressed stare, one that he just continued to chuckle at.

"Shut up you pillock." Paul said as he walked past both of them and over to the door. "Come on Karina, let's get this over with."

"Coming." She replied, before turning to Leonard. "Are you not coming with us?"

"No. I'm Skyping with Penny soon. I'll be up after that."

"Oh, right, okay." She smiled, "Well, have a fun chat and I'll see you later, yeah?"

Leonard nodded, "Yeah."

As Karina made her way out of his room, his phone buzzed once again and he quickly removed it from his pocket. After loading the Snapchat app for what felt like the hundredth time that day, a snap of Penny dressed only in his red periodic table t-shirt filled the screen on his phone, accompanied with the words 'Get on your laptop, I'm waiting on you baby.'

Seconds later the picture was gone and Leonard once again cursed himself for not remembering to screenshot the picture before he looked at it like he had told himself he would. But in the next second that thought was gone, replaced with musings about her keeping his t-shirts due to the fact that she looked much better in them than he ever did, then shook the thought from his mind as he locked his door and scrambled for his laptop.


	49. A Musical Connection

**Quick authors note here just to say thanks again for all the reviews. Also i want to say to any Shamy's still out there reading this, I haven't forgotten about those two. I have gotten a little carried away with the Lenny and didn't realize how long it has been since i've gave those two some attention! My bad! It's coming, I promise, I just wanted to sort Penny out a little bit first. **

* * *

**A Musical Connection**

Opening one of the double doors to the entrance of her apartment building, Penny dragged herself over to the wall filled with the resident's mailboxes. She had just finished her afternoon bar shift at the restaurant, and couldn't wait to finally get home, lounge on her sofa and get something to eat. Chinese, she thought, or maybe Indian. Definitely takeout anyway, she didn't find it worth her while cooking anymore when there was only one to cook for.

When she reached the wall adjacent to the entrance, Penny slipped her key into her mailbox and huffed when she opened the small door to a box filled with envelopes of all shapes and sizes. After pulling them out and locking the little door behind her, she began to walk up the stairs as she flicked through them, sorting out the bills from the junk. This wasn't such a scary task lately, she realized. Ever since Leonard had left, she had found herself with more time on her hands to work the extra shift or two which meant she had a little more money in the bank, so paying her bills wasn't as much of a struggle as it used to be. It also meant she had a little more money for shopping, and that was always good.

Penny flicked through the various subscriptions she had unknowingly made to different clothes and shoe stores whilst shopping online, making a note to herself - like she always did - to go back onto the site and uncheck the checked box that caused not only her mailbox, but her email too, to be filled with countless updates of sales and new stock arriving in their store. It wouldn't even be so bad, if those exact updates hadn't tempted her every time, making her visit those sites and spend way more than she ever intended to. Those places probably loved her and her late night - slightly drunken - shopping habits, she thought as she put their leaflets to the back of the pile, stopping when she heard her phone ring in her purse.

Opening her purse that hung on her shoulder with one hand as the other held her mail, she dug inside and searched around for a few moments, a look of concentration on her face, until her hands came to the ringing phone. Penny exhaled as she fixed her bag back on her shoulder, noticing at that moment that the number on her screen was one she wasn't familiar with, but pressing accept anyway.

"Hello." She answered as she held the phone against her ear with her shoulder and continued to sort through her mail as she walked up the stairs. "Yes this is she." Her brow furrowed slightly, but she continued to walk up the stairs towards her apartment as she listened to what the caller had to say.

Then suddenly she stopped, dropping her hand that clung to her mail and grabbing her phone with the other, holding it tight against her ear. "Sorry what? Say that again?" She asked as her frown deepened into complete confusion. "You're kidding?" She said incredulously as her mouth dropped.

Slowly, as the person on the other end spoke, her frown softened and a smile crept on to her face, her eyes almost twinkling. "Oh my god!" She said with a shocked laugh. "Really?" She squeaked, and her grin widened, before she found her composure again and listened intently. "Uh huh… yeah, i'll be there." She nodded. "Okay, yes. Ten am. Got it." She held in a squeal and excitedly patted her feet against the ground, her hand full of mail flailing around in excitment. "Thank you so much!" She squealed as she continued to listen to the voice on the other end. "Okay… yeah…Perfect…. Thank you again! Bye." Penny hung up the phone and looked around her as she stood in the hallway between the second and third floor, in a little shock as her mind came to terms with what she had just heard.

She had gotten a call back. Penny held the phone out in front of her, staring down at it as if she was waiting on that person to call back and say he had made a mistake. They liked her, a lot apparently. Penny almost squealed again as a rush of excitement travelled through her. They wanted to see her again, out of all the people they had seen that day, _she_ was on the short list of the best ones, the ones worth a second look. Sure, it didn't mean she had the part, but it _did_ mean she had a better chance now of getting it. Squealing once more, Penny clenched her fists in excitement, crumpling up the mail in her hands, those butterflies swirling around her stomach again.

And then, as if she just had a burst of energy, she stuffed her mail and her phone into her purse and ran up the stairs with a grin on her face and one thing on her mind; she had to tell someone. She had to tell Leonard.

As soon as she reached her floor, a little out of breath but not enough to care, she pulled her purse from her shoulder and searched for her keys, squealing with excitement whenever she remembered the content of her phone call just moments ago.

Once inside her apartment, she threw her purse on the sofa and shut the door behind her, before going to her purse and pulling out her phone again. It took her only a few seconds to find Leonard's name and just as she was about to press on his number to call him, she stopped and stared ahead in thought, her eyes darting as her mind tried to quickly figure out if it would be an appropriate time to call him or not, and as soon as she realized it was almost one am where he was, her heart sunk.

She still withered though. She still considered phoning him, probably waking him up, because she wanted him to be the first one she told, after all, she was certain that he was partly to blame for her getting that call back in the first place. The casting director had told her in that phone call that they had felt she had a certain 'positive energy' that they really enjoyed, and she knew that 'energy' had more than a little to do with a certain 'coital encounter' that had happened the night previous to that audition. He certainly deserved to be the first to hear about it, but then again, it was only a call back. Had she just received the news that she was about to be the lead in this local play - a _real_ play - then she may have hit that call button, but it was _just_ a call back. She didn't want to wake him, just to tell him that she had effectively gotten another audition, even if it was an audition with much better odds of her actually getting something out of it.

Slumping down in the middle of her sofa, her phone in her hand resting beside her, she thought over what to do now. Her heart was still pumping furiously with adrenaline and excitement that needed some sort of release. She still wanted - _needed_ to tell someone. Anyone. Everyone. This hadn't happened to her in so long. Ever since that haemorrhoid commercial every audition she had, had ended with a 'Thank you, but you aren't quite what we are looking for' and it had all but dragged her down in terms of her career. Had it not been for her acting class, the parts she got from that and the encouragement of her teachers, friends and most importantly, Leonard, she was sure she would have given up by now.

This was one of the first really good things that had happened to her in a whilein terms of her career, a boost that she severely needed, even although it still wasn't a definite part, it was hope. It told her that she was good enough to be singled out amongst the crowd, and that she did have that talent in her, despite how all those failed auditions made her question it.

Never Leonard though, he never questioned it, and that made her smile. He had always told her she was talented, he had always told her to pursue her career and that was why she so desperately wanted him to be the first to know.

But she couldn't call him. In a few hours she would. As soon as dawn broke in that sea she would be on that phone ringing his, but not now, despite how badly she wanted to.

Instead, she thought of the next people she wanted to tell, and that was Bernadette and Amy. A grin appearing on her face again, Penny lifted her phone and searched for Bernadette, her heart beginning to thump with excitement once more.

Over half an hour later, she was on the sofa again after pacing the apartment as she spoke to the girls, smiling this time after having those squeal filled moments with them. She had heard the excitement she had wanted to hear. She had heard those girls, in turn, tell her they were so proud, how they knew she had nailed that audition and that she would surely breeze through the next one. She felt good, she felt happy and unable to stop herself from smiling, and she was glad because today had been a day when she really needed it. Her bar shift hadn't exactly been the best and for some reason, today she had been feeling Leonard's absence just that bit more.

This happened every so often, she realized. She could go a few days, feeling like everything was getting easier, feeling like these next few weeks were going to be nothing compared to the last few, and then something would remind her just how much she missed him. It was never really something big. It was usually something small, like catching a glimpse of his picture when she opened her fridge door, or walking through the mall and spotting a nerdy t-shirt or a cool pair of Converse that she just knew he would love.

And then there was this. Wanting to tell him something big, something important to her and something she knew he would want to hear, but being unable to. Shaking her head to try and rid herself of those thoughts, she stood up, leaving her phone on the coffee table as she headed into her bedroom to get out of her alcohol stained uniform and into the shower, before she called for some food.

When she re-entered the living area about twenty minutes later, feeling happy and refreshed, she was in her long pyjama bottoms and Leonard's recycle t-shirt, towel drying her hair with one hand. The other she used to switch on her iPod to fill the room with music in an attempt to keep her spirits up and any thoughts of Leonard in the more light-hearted. She hit shuffle on the small screen, then headed to her fridge, smiling at the picture of her and Leonard upon it.

"I got a call back Leonard," She whispered to the picture, even although no-one was around to hear her talk to a photograph, not that they would even be able to over the music coming from her speakers. "Yay!" She said quietly, raising one fist to her chest and shaking it just a little, before laughing at herself and grabbing a bottle of water.

Closing the door behind her and shaking her head with a grin at her own silliness, she began to bop her head to the upbeat songs playing from her iPod.

This was definitely working, she decided as she sat down on her sofa, resting her elbow on the armrest as she pulled her feet up beside her, before reaching down underneath her coffee table to bring up her big pink laptop.

For the next while she stayed in that spot. She ordered take out, then spent some time browsing Facebook and Twitter while she waited on her dinner to arrive. She went window shopping in some of her favourite stores, telling herself she wasn't going to buy anything, until she came across stuff that she decided it would be a crime _not_ to get, even although she was sure she would regret later when she struggled to close her closet. She even picked out a few extra things for Leonard in the process and bookmarked other pages to come back to when she had money to spend again.

When the door knocked, twice only, as she was browsing, she smiled and turned her music down before grabbing her purse and collecting her food.

Sitting on the sofa again minutes later, her music back up to its original volume and her legs crossed in front of her with her food in her lap, she continued to browse the internet on her laptop now sitting on the middle of the sofa beside her as she ate.

Once she was done eating though, and she was bored with her laptop that was now closed and placed under her coffee table, she felt that twinge of loneliness that she often felt when she had nothing to distract her. She checked the time on her phone and saw that it was nearing half seven, still too early in the North Sea to call Leonard. Her heart sunk, just as before, in a way that was all too familiar, and her gut churned as every fibre of her being told her to call him, he wouldn't mind anyway, and she knew he wouldn't. But she also knew if the tables were turned, he wouldn't call her, he would let her sleep without interruption, and she felt like she owed him the same courtesy.

But still, it hurt, and she found herself slowly sinking down into the cushions as she placed her feet on the coffee table, her earlier smiles gone, replaced with a solemn stare.

She really hated how hard this still was, and even the upbeat songs in the background couldn't pull her out of this temporarily slump. In a matter of hours she had gone from completely ecstatic to lonely and dejected, and all because he wasn't here to share in her earlier elation.

Then, almost as if fate knew what she was feeling at that moment, and decided to emphasise it with music, her iPod began to play a slow, chilled out song with words that were all too real for her and she instinctively closed her eyes as she lost herself to the melody and listened to every word that was sung intently.

_"I thought that things like this get better with time, but I still need you. _

_Why is that?_

_You're the only image in my mind, so I still see you around._

_I miss you, like every day._

_Wanna be with you but you're away."_

Penny took a breath as she opened her eyes, wishing that she knew where the little remote to control her speakers was so she could immediately turn off the music that was causing her chest to ache and her throat to swell. She had heard this song a load of times, often being played on what she liked to call a 'Beyonce appreciation day' where she would jam out to nothing but her albums and love every minute of it, yet that song had never spoken to her quite like it did now.

Maybe because then, she didn't feel what she felt now; maybe because then, she hadn't taken the time to really listen to the song and merely heard it, letting the words float by her as she carried on with other tasks. Penny sat up and grabbed her bottle of water from her coffee table and took a sip to try and ease the lump forming in her throat. As she lay back again and placed her feet back on top of her table, more words of the song rung in her ears and she unconsciously mouthed along with them, each word making that lump grow as she gripped her water bottle in front of her.

_"The words don't ever seem to come out right, but I still mean them._

_Why is that?_

_It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel, but I still need to._

_Why is that?"_

Penny sighed as she stared at the bottle in her hands, tears slowly glazing over her eyes. Never in her life had she connected with a song so much. It was like Beyonce had opened up her head and read out some of her most inner thoughts in a simple, yet beautifully written song.

Then, just as had happened in that song, she too wondered why. Why wasn't it getting easier to be without him? Why did she still miss him, every day without fail? Why did she still have these days where she _craved_ his presence? Were those days ever going to go away, or would she continue to experience the moments that brought her to tears until that man came home.

Why could she never find it in herself to explain how much he meant to her? She was getting better at it, she knew that, but nowhere near good enough. Why was it that every time she tried to explain it, the words confused her and she stuttered and panicked, afraid of putting those words out there? Why did she get so scared of it? Why did she allow herself to become so vulnerable and lay her heart open to be broken, just so that he would understand how much she cared about him – how much she loved him. Did he even understand? She was sure he didn't and maybe he never would, because she didn't quite understand it herself.

Closing her eyes again, she continued to mouth along with the words of the song.

_"It don't matter who you are, it's so simple_

_A feeling, but it's everything._

_No matter who you love, it's so simple_

_A feeling, but it's everything."_

What was it about him that made her want to tell him all of that? Why Leonard, the kind of man she had never pictured herself being with. He was the kid at school that she and her friends would pick on, not because she was a bad kid, but because she was naive and eager to fit in with the 'cool kids' and would more often than not just go along with whatever they would do. He was the kid in the hallway that got pushed about and teased right in front of her. The nerd, the smart kid. The short guy with glasses that was socially awkward and withdrawn. The band geek that knew how to play Cello, and less than nothing about sports.

He wasn't the kind of guy she imagined herself falling in love with, yet she was so glad she had. He was the complete opposite to the type she thought she would marry one day, and in many ways, completely opposite to her, but she had fallen for him harder than she had fallen for the others. Much harder.

He had changed her. Unintentionally and for the better. He had changed how she viewed people and he had changed it within that very first week. That day even, over six years ago. It had been the most important day of her life, and she hadn't even realized it. She couldn't even remember what day it was.

Leonard probably knew. She smiled. He always remembered things like that and even if he didn't, Sheldon definitely would with that eidetic memory of his.

With her eyes still closed, and her head still resting against the back of her sofa, those tears that had been waiting on the edge of her eyelids, fell as the next part of the song played.

_"I miss you, like everyday_

_Wanna be with you, but you're away._

_I miss you, missing you insane_

_But if I got with you, could it feel the same."_

She knew why all that happened. Deep down she knew why she had to tell him how she felt, no matter how much it freaked her out, and she knew why she still missed him like crazy.

It was simple. It was because she loved him. She loved his giving heart, his kind soul, his warm body and that fascinating mind of his. She loved it all, so much that it surprised her, and terrified her. It was because she wanted to be with him right now and forever, despite how much that exact thought made fear bubble up inside of her. It was because she didn't want to lose him, and she never wanted to hurt him again, and those points alone made that fear lessen.

She still didn't understand why though. Why that fear was so prominent that it stopped her from giving herself to him entirely. Why hadn't she wanted him to live with her when Sheldon had thrown him out. Because it had been sprung on her out of the blue? Possibly, but unlikely. Why did marrying him feel like such a big deal, when she knew deep down she only wanted him, no-one else could compete. She had said it before, he had ruined her for other men. He was too good, and made all the rest of them seem like idiots, even although he, admittedly, came with his own brand of naive idiosyncracies. So what was the problem? Why did she feel unable to marry him now, give him that commitment and hopefully live a long and happy life together, just like her parents.

For some reason, that single thought stirred something in her, just as the soothing but heart wrenching sounds of the song ended and moved on to something a lot more upbeat, making her open her eyes in a flash and sit up as she came back into reality. She felt instantly foolish as she realized just how much she had allowed herself to get completely lost in that song. How she had shed a tear at the words and allowed her mind to wander so deep. She took a shaky breath and wiped her eyes, then took a sip of her water. Her intense vulnerability at that moment made her desire to call Leonard that little bit stronger, but again she fought with herself as she sat there, her elbows on her knees as she leant forward, staring once again at the bottle of water in her hands.

_Just like her parents._ What was it about that thought that stirred something so deep. Her parents were happy as far as she knew and done their best with three children and a farm to run. Much of her wanted to have the kind of life her parents had, yet one huge part of her told her she didn't, she just wasn't sure which part she didn't want.

At that moment three sequential knocks and a call of her name jolted her from her thoughts, and she rolled her eyes with a huff. Sheldon was the last person she wanted to see right now, even if she was slightly glad for the momentary distraction from her thoughts.

Another three and she considered staying as quiet as possible so that he would think she wasn't home and leave, until she remembered the music that was still playing, giving her presence in that apartment away.

Another three and she moaned as she stood up and wiped her eyes with a sniffle, walking over to the iPod and turning it off before calling out. "Okay Sheldon, I'm coming!"

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**By the way, the song, for any of you that dont know, is called 'I Miss You' and it's just lovely. All hail Beyonce. :) **


	50. A Comic Book Store Epiphany

**Chapter 50! Woo! This chapter was actually supposed to have a little of what is going to happen in the next chapter in it, but it got too long so basically the next chapter is going to have both Shamy and Lenny in it; what this chapter was supposed to have too! Anyway, its half written already so hopefully you wont have to wait too long for it. Enjoy mi amigos, and let me know what you think. :)**

* * *

**A Comic Book Store Epiphany**

"What is it Sheldon?" Penny barked after opening her door to the lanky physicist she knew to be on the other side, his hands clasped behind his back.

Sheldon seemed a little taken aback, "Oh, well, 'hello' to you to." He replied then waited a few moments, "By the way, that was sarcasm." He said proudly, and when Penny's blank stare didn't falter, he explained, "Used to highlight the fact that you didn't use the appropriate greeting when answering your door."

"What do you want Sheldon?" Penny replied with a snap.

He let out a sigh, "I see you are your usual charming self today." He paused and gave a nod as he said, "That was sarcasm too." He let out a breathy laugh then waved his hand, "Oooh, I am on a _roll_ today."

"Yeah, you're freakin' hilarious." Penny replied, rolling her eyes as she turned back into her apartment, "Oh and by the way," She turned her head to face him and glared, "that was sarcasm." Walking over to the kitchen, Penny sniffled slightly and wiped away the last remnants of her tears in her eye as subtly as possible in the hope that Sheldon wouldn't notice.

But he had. As he walked into her apartment, closing the door behind him, he heard those sniffles with that Vulcan hearing of his and had noticed the puffiness and slight redness around her eyes when she had answered her door, something he was going to question her about before being distracted by, what he thought was his quick witted sarcastic humour.

He came to the conclusion that she had recently been crying very quickly, a hypothesis that was only reinforced when he observed her reaching on top of her fridge for a bottle of what looked to be red wine. This was a behaviour he had noticed quite often in his female companions. Drinking alcohol when upset or angry was something that both Penny and Amy had done in the past, and it never ended well.

She was definitely sad, and this left him with a dilemma. The only reason he had come over here in the first place was because he was in need of Penny's driving skills, but he was positive that she wouldn't take him where he needed to go unless she was in a better mood. Then he remembered the words his best friend had spoken to him not so long ago; a request to 'keep an eye on Penny' for him and to comfort her if she ever needed it, because he wasn't there to do it in person himself.

The thought of it gave him a stomach ache. He _was _sympathetic to her situation though, no matter how much it pained him to admit it. He took no enjoyment from seeing his friend upset, but showing that sympathy was much more difficult than just admitting he felt it in the first place.

On the other hand though, he took no enjoyment from _being_ comforting either. In fact he hated it. He wasn't good at it, and he hated doing things he didn't excel at, but he needed her assistance and the only way he would get it was if she was in a considerably better mood, and he had to be quick, because that bottle of wine Penny had taken from her fridge was currently being poured into a glass, and there was no way he was getting into a car with Penny under the influence of alcohol. She could barely drive safely as it was.

Clearing his throat, Sheldon walked towards the kitchen where Penny was about to pick up her full glass. "Uh, do you think that's a good idea?" He asked, his comment being met with a glare.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is." Penny replied, putting the glass up to her mouth again.

"W- wait!" He took another step so he was standing at the other end of the kitchen counter from her, holding out his palm in a stop motion, and she, thankfully, dropped her glass to the table. "I beg to differ. You see, although it is common practice for you to 'drown your sorrows' in alcohol, past experience tells me that that won't end well."

Clicking her tongue against her teeth, then pursing her lips to stop from saying any of the various curse filled things running through her mind as she narrowed her eyes into his, she replied, "What the hell is that supposed to mean? And what makes you think I'm upset?"

Sheldon let out an exasperated sigh and shook his head, "Penny, before I knocked on your door there was sad music playing, when you answered you had a raw redness around your eyes and as you were walking to the kitchen I heard the sniffling that is common after crying." Sheldon stopped. "The only other explanation would be that you are sick." His eyes widened as he covered his mouth. "Are you sick?"

"No Sheldon, I'm not sick." Penny snapped back.

"Okay. Good." Taking his hand away from his face, he continued. "Now, if all that wasn't enough to convince me that you were upset, your irritable mood and angry retorts only cemented my theory."

"Fine," She scoffed, "But what does any of that have to do with me having a glass of wine?"

"Mh, well, it is common knowledge that alcohol impairs your judgement, _severely_ in your case and especially when you are upset. I am simply pointing out that drinking alcohol right now may result in some poor decision making on your part." He briefly nodded his head to his shoulder. "You have been known to become unjustly angry, or emotional, and it seriously heightens your promiscuity." Sheldon noticed Penny drop her jaw in shock, "I don't understand your shock, Penny, you are well aware of this. Take that evening you came over to my apartment in the small hours of the morning to have 'Yee-Haw' relations with Leonard, _after _you had broken up with him, as an example. Or whatever it was that happened with Raj whilst Leonard was dating Priya. In both cases you were sad, you got drunk, you-"

"What the _hell_ are you trying to say, Sheldon?!" She interrupted. "That if I have a glass of wine I'm going to go to the nearest bar and _sleep_ with the first guy I meet!?" Penny exclaimed, obviously angry.

"While I wouldn't be entirely surprised if that _did_ happen, that is not what I'm trying to say. All I'm pointing out is that you make bad decisions when you are drunk. It's not my fault that most of those bad decisions involve your lady parts."

Penny's eyes widened and her jaw dropped once more. She wanted to yell back at him again, what he was saying was beyond insulting, but she saw no point in it. Or maybe she was just used to those types of comments from him. Either way, she sighed as she slammed her glass back on to the table, making Sheldon jump just a little. Shaking her head, she looked back at him, "Whatever." She scoffed as she touched her hand to her forehead and tried to rub away the oncoming headache that Sheldon always brought with him.

Sighing, she closed her eyes for a second before taking the glass from the table and pouring it down the sink. She had already known it was a bad idea to open that bottle anyway, Sheldon pointing it out to her only reiterated that fact. If she drank just now, she would only wallow in her sad thoughts, and today was _supposed_ to be a good day. She had gotten the best news she had received in a long time, she shouldn't be focusing on the negatives and that was all that wine would make her do.

Sheldon almost smiled when he saw that wine go down the sink and the bottle go back on to the top of her fridge, but that happiness left as soon as Penny walked past him and slumped down on to her sofa.

This was certainly difficult, trying to cheer Penny up. Had he been in his own apartment he would have offered her a hot beverage by now, but this was _her_ apartment, and he didn't feel comfortable simply making his way around her cupboards. He wondered what he could, or _should_, do, and for a brief moment his mind fleeted over the idea of offering her a consoling hug, remembering the time Amy had offered him the same and he had found it helpful, even if a little restricting. Not to mention the other hug he had shared with Amy not so long ago. That one had given him a release of endorphins that was hard to beat. He was sure he was still feeling the effects of it, even long after it had happened. He was unsure why though. He had hugged people before, albeit rarely, but he had never felt the way he had felt when he had held Amy or when she had held him. He certainly hadn't felt it when he had hugged Penny. It was always uncomfortable with her, he always felt smothered and constricted, not relaxed in the slightest, or soothed as he had with Amy. She was an anomaly, that Amy Farrah Fowler; the exception to every rule he had.

Sighing, he turned around and sat on the single chair. He wasn't going to offer Penny a hug of any kind; that would be a last resort. After sitting for a few minutes in uncomfortable silence he decided he had to do something. "Do you want to talk about it?" He reluctantly asked, finding it the only other thing he could offer that may have the slightest chance of cheering her up.

Penny almost laughed at the question. Of course she didn't want to talk about it, and definitely not with him. "No." She answered quickly. There was something she had wanted to ask him though, that she remembered as she looked at him. "Sheldon, when did we meet?"

"Excuse me?" He asked, surprised at the turn in conversation.

"When did we meet? When did I move into this apartment? It was September right?"

"Yes." Sheldon nodded. "September 27th, 2007. Leonard and I were on our way back from the high IQ sperm bank and I was-"

"Wait, what?" Penny interrupted, a shocked and amused look on her face, "You were at a sperm bank?! _You_?!"

"I'll admit it was a gross misjudgement on my part." He replied with a shake of his head and a wave of his hand, "And it wasn't the only misjudgement I made that day."

Penny tilted her head curiously, "What are you talking about?"

"Well, letting Leonard invite you over for lunch was another one. That day was the beginning of the end of my simple yet brilliant existence, soon to be invaded with talk of _shoes_ over dinner and early morning singing in my kitchen." Sheldon replied and Penny smiled, which only encouraged him. This was a good sign. "I then made the mistake of going with Leonard on what he thought was a heroic attempt to get your television back from your beast of an ex-boyfriend, but what _actually_ was a foolish, impossible mission that resulted in me losing my pants." He shook his head and looked accusingly at Penny, "I liked those pants. My mother got me those." Penny's expression turned from slightly happy, to what he would describe as downbeat, guilt ridden possibly as she tilted her head downwards, although he could be wrong. He figured he had best keep going, move past it. "And then there was my comment about those 'smart and beautiful' children Leonard had been certain were in your future."

Penny's head snapped up, "The what?"

"The smart and-"

"No," She huffed and rolled her eyes, "I heard you." Looking at him again, she picked at her fingernails and tilted her head, her nose wrinkling slightly as her mouth curled into a small, shy smile. "He said that?"

"He did," Sheldon nodded, "while you were in your apartment looking for your purse. I, of course, told him that they would also be imaginary, my third misjudgement of that day considering your present relationship status, although I guess that is subject to change." Satisfied by the smile still on Penny's face, he decided that now was his chance, he didn't want to risk saying something again that would turn her mood once more. "Anyway, Penny, I must ask you for one of those favours that are common amongst friends."

Letting out a sigh, Penny suddenly remembered that Sheldon never just popped by for a visit; there was always an agenda behind it. "Yeah? And what's that?"

"I need a ride to the dry cleaners - slash - key makers."

"What? Why do you need to go to the dry cleaners you were just there last week?"

Nodding, he replied, "I was; for my dry cleaning. I need to go there _now_ to pick up the key I had made."

"You had a key made?" Penny asked curiously.

Sheldon let out a frustrated sigh. She was just like Leonard with her need to state the obvious. "Yes, I had a key made, and I was supposed to pick it up at eight o'clock this evening."

"Why?"

"Because that was when I was told it would be ready." He answered, frustration evident in his tone.

"No." Penny shook her head. "Why are you getting another key made?"

"Oh." He nodded. "For Amy."

"Really? You're giving her a key to your apartment?"

"Yes. You see it dawned on me not so long ago that with Leonard being away, you are the only one with a key to enter my apartment should there be any emergency and since you can be, at best, unreliable, I figured it would be wise to provide Amy with a means to enter my apartment should she need to."

Penny continued to look at him, deciding once again to ignore the insult and smiled, "Woah Sheldon, giving your girlfriend a key to your apartment." She raised an eyebrow, "That's a big step."

Sheldon frowned, thinking that over in his head for a moment before waving it off, "I highly doubt it. You have a key to the apartment too, just as Leonard and I have one for yours. It's not a big deal." He checked his watch and tapped the face of it. "Now, it is almost seven fifty, we are already going to be late. So…"

Penny huffed and stood up, knowing by the look on his face that he was implying that they left right now. "Fine, just let me change."

Ten minutes later they were in Penny's little red car, Penny having changed into a pair of jeans and cute pumps, choosing however, to simply throw a hoodie on over Leonard's t-shirt instead of taking it off, telling herself it was too much effort and that she had to hurry because of Sheldon's incessant whining, when really she just didn't want to take it off. Having that small part of him with her had proved to be more comforting than she ever thought it would be.

As they made their way to the dry cleaners, Penny tried to focus her attention on the road in front of her, but her head began to drift over the thoughts she had been having before Sheldon had interrupted her earlier. It bothered her greatly that she couldn't figure out what it was that freaked her out about becoming like her parents, because as she had told herself before, they were happily married, or as close to it as was possible. Her thoughts then drifted over to Leonard and the 'smart and beautiful' babies he had mentioned to Sheldon. It made her smile to think that even way back then, on the very first day, he was thinking about things like that, but then that only frustrated her further. How could he so easily make such a comment within hours of meeting her, when she could barely do the same now, over six years later, without freaking out almost irrationally?

Taking a breath, Penny mentally shook the thoughts from her head and glanced over to Sheldon, contentedly looking out the window. "So…" She began, eager to make conversation to keep her mind from wandering too much while she drove. "When are you giving Amy her key?"

"Tonight." Sheldon said, turning to Penny. "She has agreed to _finally_ let me show her the greatness of 'Firefly'." He smiled, "We are going to watch the first two episodes tonight. I have already stocked up on popcorn and have adjusted the lighting so as to make it more like being at the cinema for Amy coming over at half nine."

"Oh." Penny nodded, already feeling a little sympathy for Amy as she was sure she wouldn't enjoy it. "Why so late?"

"She had to work late tonight." He replied, still looking out the window. "Today was the final day of weaning the lab monkeys off caffeine, so as you can imagine it took some time for her to get them all back into their cages at the end of the evening." He turned to Penny, "She said one of them tried to bite her while the others watched and encouraged it."

Penny raised her eyebrows then nodded. She couldn't blame them; if someone tried to take her coffee away she was pretty sure her reaction would be the same. She didn't mention this to Sheldon however, he already thought of her as a dumb monkey as it was.

After their short exchange, silence once again filled the air and they both sat quite contentedly whilst Penny drove. Within minutes they had arrived and Penny sat in her car as she waited on Sheldon collecting his key.

Closing her eyelids as much to focus her mind as to rest her growingly tired eyes, she rested her head on the headrest and once again thought about Leonard and his comment all those years ago. It was so typical of him to say something like that, yet she had never heard him utter those words to her and she knew it because he would be worrying about how she would react to it. She hated that. That he couldn't just say exactly what he wanted for fear of putting pressure on her and freaking her out. It shouldn't be like that and she knew it, but she couldn't help it.

She would though. She would figure it out and fix it, because she wanted those smart and beautiful children too. Not yet, not for a while, but she did want them someday, with him and only him. Thinking of it now, it far from scared her. She was excited at the prospect. Sure, if he were to mention it now, expecting them to have children immediately, she would all but have a nervous breakdown, but thinking of it in the future, years from now, not too many but far enough that it was comfortable to imagine, was quite thrilling.

A second later Penny jumped in her skin and shot her eyes open as her car door opened and Sheldon sat down.

"You get it?" Penny asked as she straightened herself up and turned the car engine on.

"I did." Sheldon replied, holding up a coloured key.

"Aww, you got her a gold one?" She cooed.

"It's not gold." Frowning, he looked at the key and then back at her. "It's mustard yellow."

"Why mustard yellow?" She asked with a grimace.

"Because that's her favourite colour." He stated before putting the key into his pocket.

"It is?"

"It must be." He shrugged, "she often wears clothes of that colour, like that cardigan she is quite fond of. Now," He glanced at his watch, "it's exactly eight thirty-seven. If we hurry we can go to the comic book store and still be back in time for Amy arriving at my apartment." He hopefully looked in Penny's direction.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Penny put on her seatbelt and began to move the car out on to the road. "Fine, but we aren't staying there long. That place is full of creeps at night."

* * *

"Hello Stuart." Sheldon said to the curly haired man behind the cashier desk holding a clipboard, as he walked through the doors to the empty comic book store, Penny in tow.

"Oh, hello Sheldon." He drearily replied, his tone becoming full of life as soon as he spotted Penny walk in behind him. "And Penny! Hi Penny."

Giving a small smile and a polite wave Penny answered, "Hello Stuart." as Sheldon made his way instantly to the stand in the middle of the store, filled to the brim with all sorts of comics.

"Are you here to pick up the latest edition of Thor?" Stuart asked as she stood a few feet from the door, still a little lost in her thoughts.

"Oh, no." Penny replied with a hint of a laugh, "I'm just with Sheldon." Beginning to walk in the direction of the standing shelves across the room, Penny hoped that the conversation with Stuart was over, however she could tell by his agitated state and the way he kept opening and closing his mouth that he was getting ready to speak again.

"So uh… is Leonard still at sea?"

"Yeah." She glumly replied.

"You guys still-"

"Yes Stuart," She rolled her eyes. "We are still together."

"Okay, okay," He held up his hands, "Just checking."

Letting out a short laugh and shaking her head, she continued over to the shelves with the comic books, brushing her finger over the front pages of a few, her mind wandering once again as the faint sounds of Sheldon in the background muttering _'got it, got it'_ were all that filled the store.

As she walked, she noticed a few comics she recognized, ones that she had no doubt been reading from Leonard's collection and ones associated with it. Absentmindedly, she picked up a few and flicked through them as she explored the room, her thoughts finding their way, somehow, to her parents as she wondered once again why that thought had freaked her out a little earlier on.

There was so much she loved about her upbringing that it was hard for her to pinpoint anything she wasn't happy with, until she looked at it, not from a child's point of view, but a woman's.

Standing at the wall of comics, blankly staring at a few odd looking figurines, she thought about her parents relationship. Although they had been, for the most part, happy together, they had had their arguments over the years, a few she remembered vividly. Thinking back she remembered one point in her life specifically, when her mother was nearing her forties and she was in her early teens, when those arguments had been at their worst. It had been the only time in her childhood when she had thought her parents were unhappy, though looking back now she realized it was probably more of a mid-life crisis on her mother's part, maybe her father's too. They had met when they were quite young. Her mother had gotten married and pregnant, all before she was twenty five. Penny shook her head in disbelief as she reached out and picked up one of the small figurines, playing with it in her hands as she continued with her thoughts.

She couldn't imagine having all those things as early as her mother had. If she had, she would have had to give up on any hopes of becoming an actress, probably being stuck in The Cheesecake Factory for much of the rest of her life, if she even worked at all. Her mother hadn't worked, except from on the farm, occasionally feeding the chickens or milking the cows. Her focus had been on her children, a housewife of sorts, and while Penny understood that decision, she couldn't help but feel bad that she hadn't had much of a life outside of that, a life of her own. Penny didn't want that for her herself. She wanted to be more than just a mother and a wife.

A familiar feeling hit her stomach at that moment. A churning she was used to, the worry and fear hitting her slowly, building up. Maybe that's what scared her so much about it. She was still only a waitress, if she made that commitment to Leonard now, she would be the simple waitress married to a brilliant physicist. Next would come children, and as much as she looked forward to that one day, she didn't look forward to being forced to either continue working as a waitress or give up her job completely, with no time and too much responsibility for her to be able to go out and pursue her love of acting, or anything else for that matter. That was too much for her right now. Getting married, settling down, having children, she still felt like she had so much more to give before that happened.

The realization hit her like a train. She felt excited and sick all at the same time. Glad that she had figured out what had been eating at her, but suddenly realizing she would have to tell Leonard, and worrying about how he would take that sort of news. It was something that could so easily be taken the wrong way. Telling him she was afraid of marrying him now, through fear of being 'just his wife' for the rest of her life wasn't exactly the greatest thing to hear, but it wasn't being his wife that was the problem; it was having no life outside of that that scared her. She wanted to be more than a waitress before she settled down, what she wanted to be instead she hadn't quite figured out yet. An actress was the dream, but even with this call back she had just received, she knew it was still a dream that was getting harder and more unrealistic to chase as time went on.

"Penny!"

Penny swung her head around in the direction of Sheldon's voice. "What?"

"I'm finished. We can go now." He replied, holding up his bag of comics.

"Oh, right." Nodding, Penny put the figurine in her hand back on the shelf and followed Sheldon out of the store, saying a quick 'goodbye' to Stuart as they left.

On the drive back home Sheldon quietly looked through his comic books, something Penny was more than thankful for. She needed the quiet. She needed the time to sort out her thoughts so she could properly tell Leonard what she had realized today. It was a mess in her head, but she understood it and she only hoped he would too when she tried to explain it. She was sure he would, after all, this wasn't bad news. She wanted all those things with him, the same things that he wanted. She just wouldn't- _couldn't_ feel completely fulfilled and happy unless her life had more to it than it did now.

Sheldon and Penny's ascent to their apartments was just as quiet as the car ride, not saying a word to each other until they reached their floor.

"Thank you for the ride Penny, I'm sure Amy will appreciate it."

It took Penny a minute to realize why, until she remembered that little key and she smiled. "You're welcome Sheldon. You two kids have fun tonight." Her grin became a little mischievous. "You know, you should hug Amy again sweetie, she _really _enjoyed it last time."

Frowning, Sheldon panicked a little inside before managing to keep his composure. "Yes well, I'm sure she will be plenty satisfied with 'Firefly', so there will be no need for any hugging; consoling or otherwise. Goodnight Penny." He turned and reached into his pocket for his keys and began to unlock the door.

"Night Sheldon." She replied with a hint of laughter as she turned and entered her own apartment.

When both doors were closed, each of them prepared for their evening ahead. Penny opened that bottle of wine again, after changing back into her sweats, to have a glass as she watched television to try and calm her thoughts as she eagerly awaited half ten. She figured that half six in the morning was an appropriate time to call Leonard and tell him all the events of the day; good, bad and brilliant.

Sheldon on the other hand instantly got to work preparing his apartment for the beginning of his and Amy's 'Firefly' marathon. It still baffled him that she hadn't seen one single episode and he couldn't wait to share this part of his life with her. He put popcorn into a bowl that he sat on the coffee table, switched on the kettle, putting out two mugs ready to be filled with whatever tea concoction Amy was in the mood for that night, and put the first disc into the drive. When he finally sat down, it was twenty-six minutes past nine, and four minutes later Amy knocked on his door.


	51. The Talk

**Alright guys late update for you UK ones! It took me much longer to get this how I wanted it than I thought it would and honestly, if it wasn't for a certain TerribleWaitress this wouldn't have gone up until tomorrow! **

**Now, this is fairly long and tips hugely in the Lenny favour, but there is a little Shamy at the start and the conclusion to their night, as well as the Lenny stuff will continue in the next chapter. This wasn't supposed to be this long, honest, but it just kept on coming! Anyway, let me know your thoughts as ever cos I just love that, and hopefully the next part shouldn't take as long to get up! I'll try my best! **

**The Talk**

"Hello, Amy." Sheldon greeted with a nod as he opened the door for Amy to enter. A barely there smile appearing on his face as he noticed her wearing her mustard yellow cardigan and matching shoes. Definitely her favourite colour, he thought with satisfaction.

"Hello, Sheldon." Amy replied with a smile as she stepped through the door and headed straight to the sofa, noticing how dimly lit the room was and thinking for a brief second the lighting was to provide romantic effect, until she realized it was more than likely something to benefit the television, not to create atmosphere.

"I trust you are looking forward to this evening." Closing the door, Sheldon turned and motioned to the snacks on the table. "I have everything ready, the water is boiling for our tea and the DVDs are stacked next to the television in chronological order."

"I am, and I appreciate the effort." Amy said as she took off her shoulder bag and sat down on the middle spot of the sofa, letting out a sigh as soon as the weight was taken off her feet. Her day had been long, stressful and tiring, and if she had it her own way she would have been in her own apartment getting ready for bed, not about to watch what seemed like endless amounts of a show she wasn't even interested in. The only reason she even agreed to watch it, was because of how excited Sheldon had seemed at the prospect of introducing her to one of his beloved shows. He genuinely seemed excited about it and she just couldn't bring herself to say no.

Things like this didn't happen often, not without much forward planning anyway. The idea for this 'Firefly' evening had only come up this morning on their car-pool to work. He had happily changed whatever plans he already had to spend this evening with her, probably because he was elated at the prospect of having a marathon of one of his favourite shows, but she liked to think part of it was because he was also looking forward to spending the evening with her. After all, he could have done this on his own, yet he insisted she join him, even when she informed him she would be late, messing up his evening routine. He hadn't seemed bothered by that prospect either, simply telling her that 'Firefly is worth staying up late for'.

Sitting back in the sofa, Amy watched as Sheldon brought over a tray filled with two cups, a kettle and the box with various flavoured tea bags inside, sat it on the coffee table and sat down on his spot beside her.

"What tea would you like?" He asked as he held the open compartmented box out in front of her.

After studying the choices for a few seconds, Amy picked one up and held it out, "Ginger and peach please."

With a nod Sheldon took the sachet from Amy's hand before opening it and placing the teabag inside the mug of boiling water.

"So how was your day Sheldon?"

"Mmh, it was fine. There's not much new to report on that I haven't already told you by text." He said then stopped as he remembered something, "Oh!" Leaning back, he reached into his pocket, "I just remembered, I got you this." He said as he held out the dark yellow key.

Stunned and a little confused, Amy frowned as she looked from the key and up to his eyes, trying to decipher what was going on. "You got me a key?" She asked and he nodded. "For where?"

Pointing the key towards his door he answered, "For my apartment."

Amy's jaw hung loose, caught completely off guard by the sudden gesture and by the fact that he was so calm about it. To her, this was a huge step, yet he didn't seem fazed by it at all. "You're giving me a key to your apartment?" She quietly asked.

Confused, Sheldon nodded as he motioned the key towards her, wondering why she wasn't simply taking it from him and putting it in her bag. "Yes, and I got it coloured so to distinguish it from your other keys."

"Why?"

He frowned again, "Why what?"

"Why are you giving me a key?"

"Oh," He said, shifting his weight as he dropped his hand, "well it occurred to me that Penny is the only one who has a spare key for this apartment, what with Leonard being out at sea." He shook his head, "And quite frankly the thought of relying on Penny in any kind of an emergency, makes me want to vomit. So," He gave a small smile, "I decided to get one for you. I feel much more at ease knowing that if any such incident occurred, that required the use of a spare key, that I have someone much more responsible than Penny on hand to help. So, please, take it." Holding out the key once more, he looked into her eyes, wondering why they still looked so shocked and confused. It was only a key.

Reaching out slowly, Amy took the key from his hands and studied it for a second. "Sheldon," She quietly began, "this is a big step." She said, looking up into his eyes. "Are you sure you want to give me this."

Frowning, Sheldon looked from her to the key, trying to figure out why everyone saw this as such a big thing. Sighing he replied, "Yes, I'm sure. It's only a key Amy and I trust you will act responsibly with it and only use it in emergencies." Sheldon stopped and looked at her once again, hoping that would be enough explanation and begin watching 'Firefly', but her expression stayed as shocked as it had been before. "If you don't want it I can take it back?"

"No," Amy replied immediately, shaking her head as she began to put the key into her bag. "No, I want it, I was just… surprised. I didn't think you would be comfortable with me having a key for your apartment. It is quite a step from being your emergency contact."

"Yes, well," He shrugged, "as I said before, I would much rather count on you than Penny." He replied as he turned to the tray of tea and began dipping the tea bags that were still in the water.

Amy smiled, deciding to stop questioning Sheldon's behaviour and simply accept it, it was much easier that way. The fact that he didn't see this step as such a big thing could only be good, to her it meant that he was becoming more comfortable with such advancements in their relationship, so much so that he barely recognised them as that at all. This sort of thing was something she was sure would have freaked him out in the past, yet now, he saw it as 'just a key'.

With a smile, Sheldon handed Amy her tea and she accepted it with a grin in return. "Thank you." She said as she took the cup from him.

"You're welcome." He nodded, "Now," Leaning forward, he reached for one of the remote on the table and pressed some buttons as he sat back, and turned to her with a smile, "prepare for one of the best shows of our generation."

* * *

As he lay awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling while his roommate snored in the background, Leonard found his mind drifting off as it often did at this time at night, or it could be closer to morning, he wasn't certain what time it actually was. If he had to guess, he would say it was around five am, but he refused to look at his phone and find the certainty that came with it. He liked to think it was closer to five, even though he had gone to sleep just after eleven and felt like he had barely slept an hour. He hoped it was more than that, and it probably was.

It was still dark out, he could tell through the small circular windows high up in his cabin, although he had to admit that seemed to be quite common. It was summer, yet the dark clouds and stormy weather that had an almost constant presence in this sea, made it feel like anything but. He looked forward to the bright sunshine and warmth of back home. He always felt this room to be cold, whether that was because it actually _was_ cold or whether it was more psychological than that, he wasn't entirely sure. It was a mixture of both, probably.

With the duvet pulled up to his chest around his white pyjama t-shirt, Leonard clasped his hands on top of the sheets over his stomach as he continued to stare into the dark. The thoughts keeping him awake were the same as they always were. This mild insomnia wasn't exactly common place but it happened often enough for him to notice a pattern. It was always Penny that kept him up. Hardly a surprise really, but the kind of thoughts he had been having may have been.

While he often thought of just how much he missed her, of how badly he wanted to just be near her again and feel the warmth of her skin against his, these sorts of moments allowed his mind to wander over the parts of being with her that frustrated him, because all he could do was think, and overthink, almost every detail of their relationship.

He thought about the probability of what Paul had mentioned a couple of days ago coming true. He thought about whether he would actually _want_ to do this sort of thing again. The work, he loved, but he hated being away from his loved ones and he just wasn't sure if it was worth it. He thought about telling Penny. About her reaction and whether it would be as he hoped it would. Whether she would even really show her true emotions to him or whether he would have to wait for her to really express how she felt, like before he had left for here. It had taken up until the day before he left for her to really open up and show him - as well as_ tell_ him - just how much she was dreading his departure.

All he really wanted was to be able to talk to her without having to wonder if there was more to what she was saying, and it was frustrating not being able to have that. He had noticed a difference in it ever since he had left though, realizing that her emotion came in bursts. It was like she kept most of how she felt inside until she couldn't anymore and it all poured out of her.

He loved those moments. As much as it pained him to see her getting upset over how hard she had been finding life without him, he loved seeing that emotion in her, because he just didn't see it enough. The gratification that came with knowing just how much she loved and missed him was unbeatable.

He wondered what kind of reaction it was that he hoped for when he told her about what Paul had said, although he felt like he knew exactly what reaction he would get. She would be supportive. She would smile with words of encouragement, but behind that smile and those words he would see the hurt that she wouldn't share, as she would tell him it would be too big of an opportunity for him to turn down. It was what had happened when he told her about this trip, and he was sure that it wouldn't change the second time round, if there was one. She wouldn't keep him from an opportunity as great as this, just like he wouldn't keep her from the same, but that wasn't the reaction he wanted.

A huge part of him wanted her to ask him to stay. He wanted her to feel so strongly about him leaving again that she asked him not to go. Needing, and craving that validation he so rarely got from her. The enjoyment he got from hearing her say those three little words was euphoric, but it had only really become a common thing since he had left. Before, she would say it on occasion, still not really used to expressing it freely, but not every day as she did now. He wanted that to continue, and he was sure that for the first few weeks after his return that it would, but he worried that once the excitement of him being back had calmed, she would return to being as closed off and hard to read as she was before.

It wasn't too much to ask really, all he wanted was a girlfriend that openly expressed how much she cared about him. A part of his life he had missed out on severely since his childhood. But he knew she wouldn't ask him to stay, just like he wouldn't ask it of her. She wouldn't risk being the reason he missed out on something huge, even if he wanted her to be.

Yet, at the same time, he didn't want her to drastically change. As much as he wanted her to be more open with him, he hated the idea of her becoming something she wasn't. He had fallen in love with her, flaws and all, and taking any of those things away would change her from the woman he had fallen for. He didn't mind having to ask her how she really felt, or even having to pull it from her a little, he just wished it wasn't _so_ hard.

Sighing, Leonard winced, an acute migraine shooting through his temples. His brain begging for sleep, but his body unwilling to give it. It was confusing, thinking about Penny. The only thing he was ever sure of was that no matter how much she stressed him out, how much he hated always having to treat her like some sort of brain teaser, he loved her, unconditionally, and he had for a long time. He knew that what he felt for her he had never felt for anyone else in the past and would never feel again. He didn't _want_ to feel this way for anyone but her, and that was why, despite how frustrating he could find the waiting, and how tiring figuring her out could be, he wouldn't leave her for reasons like that. It would take something huge, an otherworldly betrayal of some sort for him to walk away, and unless that happened, he would stay by her side, unwilling to give up on her. Because, in her words, 'the heart wants what the heart wants', and his heart wanted – _needed_ - her.

Maybe it was silly. Maybe it was naïve and maybe he was postponing what he really wanted in life - a family - because of it, but he knew there was no other option. He had been with other women, he tried love with them and it hadn't worked because they weren't her. She was the only one he knew he would be truly happy with. There could be others, others that he cared about, loved even if he moved on and looked hard enough for it, but she had a place in his heart that no-one else had the power to fill, and right now he was willing to wait it out.

She was getting there. She had told him so herself, and he really believed that whatever it was keeping her from the commitment she was so afraid of, would pass. She loved him, he could see it in her eyes when she said it, and he really did believe that she was trying.

At some point, he drifted off to sleep again, awaking what felt like only minutes later, though was probably much more, to the sound of his phone buzzing on his nightstand. From the two short vibrations he knew it was a text, and by the time of day that he was still unsure of, he knew it was Penny. She was the only one that would text him at this time, and since they had no scheduled call this morning, he instantly wondered what was wrong. Sitting up and grabbing his glasses with one hand and his phone with the other, he put them on as he simultaneously unlocked his phone, noticing as he done it that it was just after half six.

_Hey sweetie, sorry if this wakes you up but I have some news! Get your cute little tushie on the laptop and Skype me when you're ready :) I'll be waiting. Xxx_

Smiling, Leonard propped himself up properly on his bed, stretching out his arms as he sat up. Looking over in the direction of Paul's bed, he thought over whether he should really open up his laptop here to talk to her. He was certain by Penny's text that she was going to be overexcited because of whatever news it was she had to tell him, and he didn't want to wake Paul up with their conversation.

Leonard thought it over for a few seconds then decided it was best to take his laptop to the recreation room, allowing him some extra privacy since he knew the room would be empty at this time, and allowing his roommate to sleep a little longer before the beginning of their day began.

Leonard stepped out of bed and put on his red robe over his white t-shirt and camouflage boxers as quietly as he could, before heading to the bathroom to quickly wash up. Once finished he made himself a cup of coffee, before putting his keys and phone into his pockets and grabbing the laptop from his desk.

Less than five minutes later he was sat at one of the tables in the empty room, filled only with games, furniture, books and televisions.

As he waited on his laptop booting up and sipped on his coffee, he briefly wondered what the news she seemed so excited about was, but he didn't focus too much on it, she was excited after all, so that meant it had to be good. He smiled then, beginning to get the little butterflies that always came before her face lit up his screen. This was something he really needed right now after such a restless night.

When she finally appeared, his grin widened, noticing his green t-shirt on her as she sat cross legged on her sofa, her back to the door and her laptop sitting in the middle spot of the sofa. The smile he saw on her face, the beaming one that radiated pure happiness and excitement warmed his heart. It was a smile he hadn't seen in her too often these days and it was a welcome change.

"Hey sweetie!" Penny said first, the happiness in her voice evident.

"Hey beautiful." He grinned, and raised one eyebrow as he looked towards her t-shirt. "Still in my clothes?"

"Always…" She nodded and let out a soft giggle. "So, how are you?"

He stifled a yawn as he stretched his arms out behind his head, "Tired." He replied as he relaxed, "But I have coffee for that." Smiling, he pointed to his cup. "So, how about you tell me the news that is so good you had to wake me up to tell me?"

Penny bit on the inside of her lip as she smiled, before forcing a sympathetic pout. "Aw baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

Leonard let out a short chuckle at her attempt and shook his head, "It's okay, I was kind of already up anyway, so come on tell me. The suspense is _killing_ me." He grinned as he took a sip of his coffee.

"Okay." Penny replied, a grin shooting over her face. "So earlier today, I was coming home from a real crappy day at work and I got a phone call." She stopped momentarily, her heart beginning to race once again with the excitement from earlier, unable to contain the widening beam of happiness in her face. "It was the casting people from that play. Remember the one I auditioned for a few weeks ago?" When he nodded, she continued, "Well, they want to see me again. I have to go and see them again this week with just a few other girls, so I am like _this_" Holding up her hand, she put her thumb and index finger less than an inch apart, "close to getting the part!"

"Oh my God, Penny." Leonard replied a grin covering his face, his heart swelling at just how happy she looked. "That's wonderful!"

"I know!" Penny exclaimed. "I couldn't believe it! I was _so_ shocked." She shook her head, "I was sure there was a mistake when the guy called!"

"Why would you think that?" Leonard asked, his head tilted slightly. "You're a wonderful actress. Remember how good you were in 'A Streetcar Named Desire'? It was only a matter of time before one of those casting guys realized how amazing you are." Leonard smiled as he saw her excitement die just a tad as she looked lovingly at him through the screen, a slight shyness in the way she was smiling at him, just like she always had whenever he would give her such compliments. "I'm proud of you Penny, _so_ proud. You're gonna ace that call-back. I just know you are."

"Hmm, yeah, well…" Penny doubtfully replied, shrugging her shoulders "Maybe."

"No." He determinedly retorted. "There's no maybe about it, you _will_." He smiled, "I know you will."

Picking at her fingernails as she looked into the screen, Penny continued to timidly smile back at him. He really did believe in her, sometimes to the point where it was unreasonable and naïve. It was something that deep down she already knew, yet hearing him say it brought out so much more feeling than she could have imagined. "Thank you." She softly replied, feeling her throat begin to tighten ever so slightly, once again going from one emotional extreme to another, all because of him.

With a small, loving smile she stared at him on the other side of that screen. His hair all messed up from sleep, his jaw unshaven and his eyes still tired. She didn't get to see him like this very often anymore, whenever they spoke in the mornings it was usually after his morning shave and shower. She missed seeing him like this, rugged and handsome, and in that red robe too.

"You don't have to thank me honey. It's the truth." Leonard said so softly it made her heart flutter. "You should have called me when you found out though," He grinned, "I can't believe you waited this long!"

Penny smiled and nodded letting out a soft laugh, knowing he would say something like that at some point, but despite his attempt, she wasn't ready to let this conversation turn light-hearted, there was still more she had to discuss with him, things she had been thinking over and over again in her head ever since she and Sheldon had left the comic bookstore.

She had to tell him all of what had happened to her today, from when she sat in her apartment listening to her iPod, to what she had realized earlier in that comic bookstore, and as much as she looked forward to telling him how she thought she had figured out what it was that caused her to be so unwilling and scared when it came to commitment, she was terrified at the reaction it could have. The simple idea of sharing these deep thoughts with him scared her more than it ought to as well, but she knew she _had_ to do it. He deserved to know after everything that he had done for her regarding her problems; he deserved to know what it was that caused them.

Penny cleared her throat, looking down at the hands still fidgeting in her lap. "Yeah, no… I didn't want to wake you." She looked up and gave him a small smile, "Although I guess I did that anyway." She let out a short, almost nervous laugh, before looking back down again.

Frowning, Leonard studied the woman in front of him. This was exactly what he had been reflecting on earlier. The way she was acting made him feel like something was wrong with her, but what she was saying to him didn't reflect that at all. Something was bothering her, and he wished she would just tell him, but instead it seemed she was reluctant, waiting for him to ask and pull it out of her. The thought saddened him, wondering what it was that made her so hesitant to talk, especially with him. She should _want_ to talk to him, she should _want_ to discuss her problems with him, if no one else she should be okay with doing it with him, but it still seemed she wasn't, not unless he asked.

After dropping his head with a sigh, Leonard looked up and opened his mouth to ask her what was bothering her, but before the words could leave his mouth she spoke.

"Leonard," Penny said, still staring at her hands, "We um… we kinda need to talk."

Leonard frowned, his mouth still slightly ajar from being cut off, "Oh…" was all he could get out. Both shocked at her admission and worried about what it meant.

"It's nothing bad." She assured him quickly, seeing the worry in his face. "At least, I don't think it's bad." She sighed, then reached out to her coffee table and took a quick sip of her wine to ease her nerves before leaving it back down and shifting her weight on the sofa, pulling her crossed legs closer to her body before resting her hands beside her ankles again. "It's just… something else happened today. Something…. Something I wasn't really expecting... It's good." She nodded, "it really is, sweetie, it's good for us." Looking into his face she could see the confusion building, and her words of assurance seemed to do nothing for the worry in his eyes. "But you might not think so at first, so you have to let me finish okay? Just let me get this all out the way it is in my head and then you can ask me whatever afterwards. If you start questioning me right away I'll get all… confused." Exhaling, she looked into his eyes, pleading with him to understand.

Leonard had no idea what was going on and he worried immensely about it, despite her reassurance that it was nothing bad, he reasoned that it _had_ to be something bad or else she wouldn't be so serious. If it were something good she would have addressed it in the same manner she had when telling him about the call-back.

He should have brought his inhaler, he realized as he felt his chest tighten. He could tell by the determination in her voice though, that he had to listen as she had asked. She had stuff she had to say and it was probably best he let her get it all out. So he nodded as he took a few breaths and a sip of his coffee. "Okay," He gave a small, reassuring smile, "I can do that. What's going on?"

"Okay," Exhaling again, she sat up straight, "well, earlier today I was just sitting around the apartment after finding out about my call-back. I was so happy at first, but then after realizing that I couldn't call you because it was so late, I got a little… I dunno, sad I guess, so I put on some music, you know, to cheer me up a bit and that helped. Well, it helped a little anyway." She cleared her throat, "So… then this song came on that really got me thinking about… well, about us." She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered how to continue. "Well, less about us as a whole and more about me, these… problems I have and well, I think I might have figured it out."

Leonard said nothing, offering only a raised eyebrow amongst his slight frown to show how intrigued he was as he listened and let her continue.

"See... I was thinking about me and you and how-" She shook her head, "ugh this is going to sound _so cheesy_," She laughed a little before becoming serious again. "About how much you mean to me. How…" She gave a warm smile, "how I can't even _imagine_ my life without you in it anymore. You are so important to me, Leonard... I really do want us to make it." Penny angled her head towards her feet in an attempt to hide how emotional this was making her, the tightness in her throat from earlier re-appearing, her eyes glazing over with tears she didn't quite want to show. "I want us to have a life together," She added with a croak, "I really do." Taking in a breath she looked back up, blinking away the water in her eyes, "The thing is, as I was thinking that, I didn't get scared, Leonard. I didn't worry about the commitment of it all it was just so… simple. I love you and I want to be with you. This trip of yours only made me realize that even more." Penny let out a sigh, "But…" Blinking slowly, she looked down at her feet once more, and spoke quietly, almost ashamed of the words. "But, the thought of getting married, _right now_, or you know, _really_ soon, still freaks me out a little." She let out a loud sigh, "And that confused me," She said with determination as she looked back up at him. "It's so stupid because if I want to be with you, then why does that thought always scare me?! It's…" She sighed again, "Frustrating. But… well I think I figured out what it is."

Once again Leonard stayed quiet, looking intensely at her as she thought the words through in her head, until she took in a deep breath and continued.

"I think it has to do with my mom." She started, noticing Leonard sit up and pay attention as she spoke, "You see she got married really young and all of her life she spent looking after me and my brother and sister." Looking down, she shook her head. "She didn't have a life of her own really and I don't want that for myself. I don't want to be just a mother and a wife." Leonard frowned and Penny panicked inwardly, worrying that she wasn't telling what she wanted to the best of her ability. "Look Leonard, you are this big time scientist, you have that stuff that you love away from us; I don't." She shook her head, "All I really have is The Cheesecake Factory and I want more than that… You are the only thing in my life right now that I am truly passionate about, if we got married now, it would stay that way. And I _know_ that's not a bad thing really… but I want more. I don't want to become my mom, honey. I want something else to be passionate about. I want to be known for more than just being your wife." Scoffing, Penny shook her head. "That sounds horrible. Sweetie I don't mean it bad. I love you and I really do want to be Mrs Hofstadter one day. One day soon, but I just have to… I have to get the rest of my life on track first. I want to have a place where I can go and be passionate about something else. It's selfish, I know it is because I'm asking you to wait on me figuring that out, but Leonard, this isn't something I'm just going to sit back and let happen on its own. I'm going to figure it out. I'm going to find that thing that I love doing and do it."

Penny stopped, partly to take a breath and partly to gauge his reaction. He looked thoughtful, she decided, but she couldn't tell whether it was good or bad. Her heart began to thump, or maybe it already was, either way she could feel it now as though it was hammering against her chest. She had lay herself completely bare in regards to her emotions in a way she hadn't really before and his lack of real reaction was scaring her. "Okay, Leonard you need to say something here."


	52. Complicated and Comfortable

**Another late update for you UK peeps, and sorry about the delay. It took me a while to get this chapter exactly the way I wanted it which I hadn't been expecting. Of course some of the reason it has taken me so long could also be because of a certain highly anticipated game that got released this week. I've been getting my gangsta on! Anyway, this chapter, as promised, is pretty much split equally between the Lenny and Shamy, and after this chapter I do have a good bit more Shamy stuff to focus on. Hope you are all satisfied with how this chapter goes! And do tell me in those reviews!**

**Oh and, less than a week till the season 7 premiere! Eeeek! :)**

* * *

**Complicated and Comfortable**

A tense, long few seconds passed as Leonard stared into Penny's fear filled eyes, trying to figure out just what to say to her. Opening his mouth, he urged himself to speak, but no words would come out. He desperately wanted to say something, _anything _that would take away that fear in her eyes, but he just didn't know what.

It was such a bittersweet moment. On one hand, this was great news. She had had an epiphany of sorts and one that reiterated her love for him. He saw the relief she felt from finally knowing what had been bothering her, but he couldn't help the twinge of disappointment that came with knowing he still had some time to wait for her to be fully ready to commit to him, knowing that she wouldn't be making any big leaps in their relationship in the near future. And although he knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he would stand by her while she got everything together, for reasons he had concluded upon earlier during his restless night, he still wondered how much longer he would _actually_ have to wait. How long would it take her to find out what it was she wanted from life? How many weeks, or months, or years would it take for her to find that thing she was passionate about, besides him? Why couldn't she find that with him as her husband? What did the commitment of marriage have to do with her following her dreams? She could still do that, married or not, he wouldn't ever stop or discourage her from following her dreams and he hoped she didn't think he ever would.

"Leonard?" Penny quietly encouraged, a slight quiver in her voice, his silence becoming a little too much to bear.

Sighing, Leonard sat back in his chair and rubbed his eyes under his glasses for a moment, somehow hoping to ease the ache behind them caused both by tiredness, and from thinking way too much. As he moved his hand from his eyes and fixed his glasses onto his face properly once again, he urged himself to stop thinking and just talk. This wasn't bad, he told himself, her figuring this out was a good thing, and he knew that deep down.

"Penny, I…" Looking down at his hands, he shook his head slowly. "I don't really know what to say... This is a lot to take in first thing in the morning." Looking up at the screen, Leonard tried to smile but couldn't quite manage it, the frown lines on his forehead stubbornly refusing to soften. He sighed and leant forward in the chair, putting his face slightly closer to the screen as he rested his arms on the table. Looking at her intently again, he saw that fear in her once more, and what he was certain were tears in her eyes. He needed to say more. He had to say something because he couldn't stand to see that look in her eyes, all it did was choke him up, and the only way to stop it was to talk. He couldn't reach out and caress her cheek or pull her close to him for comfort like he wished he could. He was unable to kiss her on her lips, or even her forehead, her cheek or eyes, using his lips to kiss those lingering tears away, like he would have had he been with her. All he had were his words, he just had to find them.

Looking into her eyes for a few seconds longer, he smiled, one that was much more loving and sincere than his last attempt. "Honey, I'm so glad you figured this whole thing out. I really am," He nodded, "it's just… well…" Sighing, he looked down at his hands again, "where does this leave us?"

A sick feeling rose up in Penny's stomach, her brow furrowing, "What do you mean?"

Leonard stared for a few more seconds, trying to answer that question in his own head first, before saying the words out loud. "Where do we go from here, Penny? What's next?"

Eyes glazing over in thought, Penny contemplated how to answer. She wasn't sure whether he meant what would happen next specifically with them as a couple, or just a general wondering of what she planned to do about her newfound clarity. She decided to answer the only part she really knew the answer to.

Taking a breath, Penny lifted her laptop and sat it over her crossed legs, doing the only thing possible to get him that bit closer to her. "Honestly sweetie, I'm not really sure. All I know is that this is something I have to do. I just know if I ignore it and forget about it, it will come back and bite us on the ass in the future. It won't go away Leonard, I know it won't." Penny stopped and looked into his eyes as she thought over what to say next. "Honey, I see that fire in your eyes when you are talking about your science stuff and that is something I want too. I want to have some sort of career that gets me that excited, just like yours does, and Amy's, and Bernadette's and… all of you guys. You are _all _doing something you love and I want that too. I wanna do something I love. I need to."

"Okay, I understand that." He said with a nod, his brow only slightly less furrowed. "You want to keep that independence, have that… fulfilment that comes with doing something you love."

"Yeah." Penny nodded, a small smile on her face as her whole body seemed to relax.

Leonard nodded again, but his expression was still thoughtful. "Okay… But I thought you already found that thing you love. You love acting don't you? That's why you came to Pasadena in the first place; to be an actress. That's why you go to all these auditions and those classes. Isn't _that_ what you're passionate about?" He asked, his lack of sleep making his tone more abrupt than he had intended. "And even if it isn't," he continued, "if you say you love me, and you want all that marriage and stuff with me, then why do you have to wait until you figure that out before we do it? What difference does it make? Do you think I will stop you from doing what you love?"

"What?" Penny asked, her eyes wide, "No!"

"Well then why is it so important that you do this before we are married?" He quickly asked, his tone still harsher than he wanted it to be. "You're life doesn't end at marriage, Penny. You can still pursue a career in something you're passionate about, why does that have to play a part in it?"

Penny opened her mouth to speak but words failed her. She didn't know how to answer. She hadn't expected him to become so blunt, he very rarely was. Yet, he had a point, one that she failed to find an argument against. Leonard had always supported her, she knew that. Marriage didn't mean they had to completely settle down and have children right away, she knew that too. And suddenly everything that had made perfect sense to her earlier, seemed even more confusing than it ever had.

Unable to come up with a real answer, Penny simply lifted her shoulders in a shrug and shook her head, her eyes pleading with him to understand that she just hadn't figured it all out yet, even although she had thought she had.

"Penny," Leonard said with a sigh as he sat back in his chair again. He knew where this was going. She had shared what she thought was enough, but wanted to close up as soon as she was pressed on any part that didn't make sense, and maybe, if he hadn't been so irritable from his restless night, or hadn't been thinking about this exact thing earlier, he would have let it go. He would have accepted what she had told him, but right now, he needed to make sense of the parts he didn't understand, after all, he deserved to know the roots of the reasons he was holding out for her. "Honey… That's not good enough." He said in a soft, yet firm tone. Hoping to let her know he wasn't angry or upset, but that he needed the answers she wasn't giving. "Look I know this is hard for you, but these are things you have to answer. Or at least _try_ to answer, if not for me, then for yourself."

Knowing he was right, Penny nodded, and swallowed the lump growing in her throat before it became any more than that. She needed to answer his questions and she had to do it properly, or to the best of her ability at least. Taking in a deep, slightly shaky breath, Penny moved her eyes from his and back to her hands fidgeting beside the keyboard on her laptop. "Okay…" She glanced up, "What do you want me to answer first?" When he gave a casual shrug to show he didn't mind, Penny nodded and took another breath. "Okay… the acting thing… I do love it, Leonard. I really do. I love my classes." She smiled, her eyes twinkling, "I _adore_ being on stage and being in front of a crowd giving a performance. I just hate everything that comes with it." The twinkle in her eyes disappeared after that sentence, as she returned her focus to her hands, her smile also gone. "I'm getting so sick of going to auditions, because every single one I don't get chips away at my confidence and I _hate_ that. And… and that Hollywood lifestyle that I dreamt of having when I came here," She shook her head, her eyes flicking between her hands and him, "I just don't think I want that anymore. I don't want the cameras in my face twenty-four seven. I don't want to have to constantly go to photo-shoots or red carpet events or leave for months for filming. It would be like doing _this_ again… It's too much Leonard." Shaking her head she looked down again. "Too much would change and I don't want it to. I love my life the way it is right now…" Her eyes met his again, "Besides working at The Cheesecake Factory, there isn't a single thing I would change."

Leonard gave a small smile, content in the knowledge that, despite her life being nothing like he imagined she had thought it would be, she was still happy. She loved her life, the majority of it, the way it was. Her career was the only part she was dissatisfied with, and he knew she deserved to feel the same contentment in that as she did the rest of her life, just as he did. "So… what _do_ you want to do then?"

Again, Penny shrugged. "I'm not sure. That's what I have to figure out…" Looking down at her fidgeting hands, she began to think through her options, "I still want to act. I don't want to give that up, but… I don't know, maybe I'll just stop going to so many auditions, maybe I'll pick and choose which ones I actually think I will have a better chance of getting. You know," She looked up, "Like the play I just got a call-back for, or the odd commercial." She shrugged and looked down. "I don't know… Oh!" She said a second later as she looked back up, a slight twinkle in her eye again as more things came to mind, "I'd love to focus more on college. I've really been enjoying my class, and if I go to fewer auditions I can do that… Maybe I could take a few more classes, depending on how well I done on that exam... Maybe I could get a degree in something if I really put my head down and do it." She shrugged, "I could maybe even… teach?" She said with her head tilted slightly, "What is it they say? 'Those who can't do, teach'?" She smiled, "Maybe I could teach acting." She said with a soft laugh. "I think I've been to enough classes over the past seven years to be able to parrot all that stuff back to the same kind of young, naïve kids that are as desperate for stardom as I used to be." She shrugged again, looking sheepishly back down at her hands. "I don't know. That's just a few ideas I guess."

"Those are good ideas Penny." Leonard said softly.

"Yeah, maybe." She shrugged again and then looked back up as she took in another deep breath. "Leonard," She started, her shoulders slumped and her voice quiet. "I really don't know about the rest. I don't know why I feel the need to do this before we take that next step." She sighed and looked down, "Of course I know that you won't stop me doing what I want… I guess I just… I always saw it that way because of my mom. I always saw marriage as… settling down and… having kids I guess I never really thought of just being married, you know?" She shook her head, "...I don't know. Maybe we can do it sooner…" She looked up, a hint of a smile on her face and a tiny lump beginning to form in her throat. "But not until we are ready. Marriage is… it's too intense for us right now, but… but you're right. Maybe I don't need to have everything figured out completely before we do it, but I'd like to have at least _some_ idea of what I want to do." Seeing

Leonard gave a small, almost sad smile and a nod, before looking to his hands. It wasn't exactly what he had been hoping to hear. She still seemed so confused by it all, and the fact that she felt, even despite her own issues, that they weren't ready for marriage, was disappointing too, even although he sort of knew she was right.

Penny's stomach fell at his expression. She could still see the disappointment that he probably didn't want her to see in his face. He was tired, it was harder for him to hide it and she knew he was still unsure about what she had said. She knew he needed to hear more or else he would simply make up his own conclusions over the parts he was still sceptical of, overthinking every word she had said to the point where it was blown way out of proportion. She had to be clear to him about how she felt, on one thing in particular. "Leonard, sweetie, listen to me." She said with determination, smiling when his tired and confused, but gorgeous brown eyes were focused on her again, "I want to be with you, don't forget that. I told you, I want to be Mrs Hofstadter one day and I will. I just don't want to screw it up by going into it before we're both completely ready..." She let out a sigh, "And I don't think I _can_ be completely ready until I've sorted my career out, at _least _a little. Please tell me you understand that. I need you to understand, sweetie. This isn't because of you, this is all me and my problems... It's just something I have to do."

Slowly, Leonard nodded, his eyes staying on her, and his frown slowly softening. Eventually, a timid smile crept onto his face, finally content with what he had heard from her. "Okay." He said quietly. "I do understand that… I do. This was just… I dunno, it came as a bit of a surprise I guess. But I get it." He nodded, "I told you on Valentine's Day that this was all on you now, and if this is what it takes to get you to that place where you are comfortable with everything," He smiled, "then I can wait for that."

Penny nodded with him, a grin on her face, as her whole body seemed to relax. "Thank you. And I promise I won't make you wait too long. I'll figure this all out before you get fed up of waiting and leave me for someone less complicated." She smiled, speaking in jest what she was truly afraid of happening.

Letting out a short laugh, Leonard shook his head. "That won't happen. I'm a physicist, Penny, I like complicated." Watching her as she continued to smile at him, a few long moments passed where they both wanted the exact same thing. They both needed the comfort of physical contact from the other.

This conversation had taken a lot out of each of them, Penny becoming more vulnerable to him than she had ever been to anyone and needing the content, safe feeling that came with being held by him, while Leonard simply needed the warmth and the comfort that she gave him. All they craved was one another's embrace; her head nuzzled into his shoulder, letting out soft, rhythmic breaths onto his neck, his arms holding her lower back and shoulder, pulling her as tight as he could to him.

Their eyes locked, and without saying a single word, they expressed all that want, and all that hurt that came with not being able to have what they craved in that one look. In that moment, Penny wished she had kept the whole content of this conversation for when he had returned. She wished she had waited so that this moment wouldn't have been so bad. She would have been able to lie in his arms and feel that reassurance that he loved her, and that he would wait, despite the tiny voice inside her that constantly doubted it. She wouldn't have had that ache that she does now, that familiar pang in her chest that came with knowing she couldn't have what she wanted just yet, a pang that he knew all too well too.

As Leonard saw a few tears glaze over her eyes and felt his own throat tighten at the mere sight of them, he broke their stare to look down briefly at the coffee cup sitting on the table beside him. He knew she was feeling the same craving and disappointment, as him and it was at that moment he decided not to bring up what Paul had mentioned to him about any future trips he may be asked to attend, until he was back with her and able to use more than his words to make her feel at ease. This feeling was too much to bear, and he wouldn't consciously inflict it on her, or himself, again.

Looking back into her eyes, forcing himself to think of happier thoughts to take that pain away, he found himself grinning as his mind fleeted over words she had previously spoken, ones that took that ache away in a flash.

With a slight tilt of her head and a confused smile she asked, "What are you smiling at?"

"Nothing." Leonard replied with a chuckle and a quick shake of his head.

"Leonard!" She frowned, although her smile was still present. "Tell me, what is it?"

"It's nothing, really." He replied, his grin widening even although he tried to stop it, while she tilted her head downwards and stared until he caved. "Really, it's nothing, it's just…" He shrugged and looked into the distance, "Mrs Hofstadter." He chuckled and looked back at her. "It's weird hearing that out loud. And even weirder hearing _you_ say it." He smiled and chuckled again, "You've never said it before. _I've_ never said it before… Not out loud anyway."

"You haven't?" She asked with a mischievous smile, and he shook his head, "Oh, so it's just our 'smart and beautiful' babies you talk about out loud then?"

Leonards jaw dropped. "Whaaat?" He frowned, shaking his head in his best attempt to pretend he had no idea what she was talking about. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Narrowing her eyes and tilting her head, Penny gave a knowing smile, "Cut the crap Hofstadter. Sheldon told me." She grinned, "I mean, I knew you had a crush on me when I first moved in, but talking about babies right away?" She shook her head, "That's a little creepy Leonard."

Chuckling, Leonard shook his head. "Alright, I said it. Why did he tell you?" He frowned, "And it's not creepy it's…" He looked off in thought for a second, a small smile eventually curling onto his mouth. "Romantic."

"Yeah okay," Penny replied with a short laugh as she rolled her eyes, "Whatever you say. And I can't remember really why he told me… I asked when I moved into the apartment and somehow he got on to that, you know how Sheldon can be with his little speeches and the tangents he goes off on from the simplest of things."

"Yeah." Leonard nodded, deciding not to ask why she was even asking that question in the first place. "I miss that you know. It's weird," He said, becoming a little solemn again, "but I really do."

Penny's heart melted when she saw the sad look on his face, and then smiled as she thought of how to take his thoughts away from missing his friend. "You want me to say it again?" She asked, her eyebrow raised and he raised one back in confusion. "Mrs Hofstadter." She said then smiled when his confusion disappeared, and she gave a small grin before raising her eyebrow slightly again, speaking this time in a much softer voice, "Mrs _Penny_ Hofstadter."

With a shudder, Leonard nodded, his mouth becoming instantly dry and his heart rate picking up again. "I like that." He said and cleared his throat while Penny giggled and scrunched her nose up at him. "I _really_ like that."

"I like it too." She said and after a few seconds, she glanced down at her hands and then back up to him, "So, we're okay?" She asked, her hands wringing a little in front of her.

With a small smile and a tilt of his head, Leonard softly replied, "Of course we are. You aren't getting rid of me that easily."

* * *

As the credits rolled on the first episode of 'Firefly', another show Amy had decided she just wasn't interested in, Amy found herself stretching up and yawning. To her, this show was no different than all the other space stuff that Sheldon and the guys enjoyed and she honestly wondered how they could even differentiate between them all, because she certainly couldn't.

There were only a few things that had kept her up during the episode, and that was the rather handsome male lead that kept her attention, as well as the very noticeable closeness that she and Sheldon shared whilst the episode was on. She had noticed, not even half an hour into the programme, that instead of sitting directly in the middle spot, she was almost barely on it at all, the majority of her weight sitting, quite comfortably, in the crack between the two cushions. Her leg wasn't merely touching his, it was practically pressed up against it, and he hadn't moved away from it. This touch hadn't registered in the part of his brain that would usually have freaked out at what he would call 'unnecessary physical contact'. Just like it hadn't registered any real meaning behind that key he had given her.

Sheldon of old wouldn't have found such a gesture easy to take, and he certainly wouldn't have been the one to bring it up in the first place. Giving her a key, in the past, would have sent alarm bells off in his mind, and she wondered what had changed now that stopped them from going off both then, and now, with the fact that one side of her body was almost stuck to his. She was sure she would be able to understand it properly if she had the chance to cut open his brain and poke around, but she, obviously, couldn't do that.

Amy knew it wouldn't be too hard to come up with a conclusion to his changing behaviour; after all, she always prided herself on knowing Sheldon better than anyone. She had been like him once. She had been opposed to touch and afraid of intimacy, so she understood where he was coming from, but she had quickly changed. The influence of the best friends that she hadn't had growing up, taking her through all the experiences that she missed; sleepovers, girls nights out, shopping trips, bitching sessions and talk about boys and boyfriends, had helped her through her social awkwardness, making her more 'normal'. Sheldon had changed her too. Having that man in her life that had never been there before, having that boyfriend to go on dates with, to share evenings with and one that really understood and cared for her, was something that also contributed to how much she had changed since they had met. Meeting him, that tall, sickly pale, yet quirky and endearing character with thin, yet kissable lips and shining blue eyes, had made her want all of that stuff she had never wanted before. He had helped change her, and maybe it was her that was changing him in the same way, it was just taking much longer. That was understandable, she thought. He was more stubborn than her, and so much less willing to change. Homeostasis was something he was vehemently fond of, which only made the fact that he was trying to change it, even more significant.

As scenes that she didn't understand flashed before her, Sheldon beside her smiled and looked hopefully over to her every so often for what she liked to think was him wondering if she was enjoying the show as much as he was. Each time he looked, she looked back at him and gave him a smile of reassurance, one that she knew he couldn't see through. He was too preoccupied with the excitement of watching his show, which gave her mind time to wander more, and it always came back to that key. Even when she tried to think of something else, maybe of what she would do the next day or the dreaded fact that she was sure there was a train convention coming up that it was her turn to take Sheldon to, her mind always came back to that key.

It was such a simple gesture, and she could see why he didn't really understand the significance of it. Penny had gotten a key to their apartment not long after she had moved in, just like she had gotten one for theirs, but that was different. They were neighbours, looking out for one another's safety, she and Sheldon weren't. As much as he tried to put it down to the fact that he didn't trust Penny, Amy knew there had to be more to it, even if he didn't see it himself. Penny had had a key to that apartment for years, and until now he hadn't shown any real doubt in her ability to look after it or provide assistance should he need it. Maybe the fact that Leonard was gone had made him a little more insecure, knowing that _only_ he and Penny actually had a key to their apartment, but she still thought it unlikely. Leonard had been gone for almost three months, it was a little odd that he would only be having these concerns now. Maybe he had always had them though and he had simply let the idea slip from his mind until now, she thought. But that was unlikely and deep down she knew it. Sheldon was like an elephant, he never forgot. He may delay, or purposely postpone, but he _never _forgot. Which led her to believe the only reason he brought it up now, was because he was finally comfortable with the idea, even if he may not see it as that himself.

He was comfortable with her having a means to enter his home should she need to. He was comfortable with sitting literally side by side with her. Although she knew he didn't see it like she did, having that key meant he was telling her, subconsciously or not, that she could come and go as she pleased. She has a key, there's no need to knock on that door she can simply walk in, anytime. She wondered for a second what his reaction would be to that. She was sure he wouldn't appreciate it, but wondered if it would only be a temporary shock, one that would subside and she really could end up just coming and going as she pleased.

It exhausted her, all of that thinking, especially since she was already pretty tired to begin with. When she had yawned at the end of the first episode, it had been with relief, thinking that she could finally go home, but then she remembered that they had agreed upon watching two episodes, something that was only confirmed when Sheldon stood up and headed to his television to change the disc.

Amy audibly groaned, much louder than she had meant to, and Sheldon instantly turned around, a look of concern on his face.

"Is something wrong?" He asked as he took the disc from its case.

Amy considered her options, wondering if Sheldon would really be okay with her wanting to cut short their evening, especially since they were doing something that he loved. She didn't want to leave, the comfortable closeness they were sharing was something she adored, but she was sure if she stayed she wouldn't be able to keep her eyes open, and even if she did her mind would begin to think way too much again. But she really didn't want to leave. She enjoyed spending time with Sheldon, especially when it was calm and relaxed like it was now. There was no pressure on either of them. In his mind, they were simply enjoying a programme together, and that allowed him to relax so much that the slight intimacy they shared during it, just didn't seem like a big deal, which didn't happen very often.

"Didn't you like it?" Sheldon pressed.

"No, no. I did like it." Amy replied then smiled, her mind instantly made up. She could sit through one more, she just had to stop thinking so much and allow herself to relax as much as him, maybe she could even force herself to try and get into this programme, she had barely given it a chance after all. "Please, put the next one on."

With those words, Sheldon gave a small smile and placed the disc in the tray before coming to sit back down in his spot. Amy watched him the whole time, unable to keep her eyes off of him, the dimly lit room making him seem more handsome than he ever had. When he had sat down, Amy had found herself moving away slightly, before carefully shifting back to where she had been, without so much as a flinch from him. As he pressed the buttons on the remote, Amy lifted her feet up to rest beside her, allowing her to become a little more comfortable and willing to watch another hour or so of space fighting.

But instead of doing as she had said she would and focus on the television, her mind once again wandered, but this time not because of that key. They were sitting so close together that every time he shifted his weight or moved any part of his body, she felt that movement like electricity shooting through her. They were almost snuggled up, she quickly realized. Her body was tilted ever so slightly in his direction, her bent knee softly touching against leg. Her hands were in her lap, but her shoulder was pressed against his arm, her head mere inches from his shoulder. They were so close she could feel him breathing, and as she looked up at him, she could see the small freckles on his cheek and neck, despite the dim light. Her heart began to race, and due to how close they were she wondered if he knew.

She was overcome with a desire, but not one to kiss him like she often felt, her weariness only made her want to lay her head on his shoulder, and the fact that they had been so at ease with one another lately made her feel, for the first time, that she probably could do it and he wouldn't freak out. Slowly, Amy turned to the television as she began to lower her head, hoping not to surprise him with her movement. Her whole body was tense for those first few seconds after her head met his shoulder, awaiting the abrupt reaction she expected, but never came. She had felt his head move in her direction, and she could almost see the rolling of his eyes that she was sure he gave when he saw what she had done, but he didn't protest against it, and she smiled triumphantly as her whole body relaxed.

This was nice, she thought. Slightly uncomfortable because of his bony shoulder, but nice nonetheless. It certainly made the programme much more bearable and as she glanced at his hand sitting on his lap and hers mere inches from it, she decided to push her luck. If he was getting to watch a programme he enjoyed, but she hated, then she was going to do what she had to do to find the same enjoyment. So just as slowly and carefully as she had moved her head, she watched as her left hand crept across the space between them and tucked itself under his hand, intertwining her fingers with his.

At first, she felt his hand stiffen and his head move, probably giving the same expression as earlier, but this time, she also felt a sigh and him slightly shaking his head, probably as he wondered why women always felt the need to have such unnecessary contact, but once again he didn't protest against it. She sort of knew he wouldn't, hand holding was something he was bound to be becoming accustomed to, yet it still gave her a happy satisfaction every time she completed the movement without any hesitation from him. Smiling again when his fingers held her hand just as hers held his, Amy found herself no longer interested in trying to watch that programme, or caring about what that key did or didn't mean, all she wanted to do in her blissfully relaxed state, was sleep.

When the credits once again rolled on another episode of 'Firefly', Sheldon turned his gaze from the television to Amy beside him, hoping to see the same excitement from her as he felt now, that show really was one of a kind, he would be surprised if Amy didn't love it as much as he did, she had to. But when he turned and saw her eyes closed as she peacefully slept, he shook his head in contempt. He knew that letting her rest her head on him had been a bad idea. He should have fought past the part of him that quite enjoyed it, the same part that had enjoyed that hug they had shared, and now, he wished he had. Not only had she missed out on a brilliant episode, but he now had to figure out what to do with her. Should he wake her up? Should he leave her there? He didn't really want to wake her, yet how was he going to get up if she was both leaning on him and holding on to him at the same time, he would have to wake her.

Timidly, Sheldon shook his shoulder in his best attempt to make some movement that would wake her up. "Amy." He said in a whisper, wondering with a frown just after it why he was even whispering if his goal was to wake her up.

After another shrug of his shoulder, Amy slowly woke, her eyes squinting as they adjusted to the little light in the room. "What…" She groggily said as she sat up and fixed her glasses, "What happened?"

"You fell asleep." Sheldon chastised. "You said you liked this programme."

"Oh, yeah, I do." She cleared her throat as she sat up properly and let out a yawn. "I'm just tired, that's all. I should probably go..."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Sheldon asked, his brow furrowed in concern. "You are obviously tired, and driving whilst tired is just as bad as driving under the influence of alcohol."

Amy shook her head, "I'm fine. Anyway, there isn't really another option is there. I drove here, now I have to drive back."

Sheldon looked off in thought for a few moments. "You could take a cab."

"Then my car would be left here and I would have no way of getting the both of us to work tomorrow." She sighed as she stood up, smoothing down her skirt and fixing her cardigan. "I'll be fine Sheldon, but thank you for the concern." She smiled.

"Hm, well, you are my girlfriend." He shrugged, "And I don't want you getting yourself into an accident because your reaction time is greatly reduced, however," He said, waving his hand, "I cannot stop you from driving, so if you must then please make sure you inform me when you are safely back at your apartment."

Amy smiled at Sheldon's unique brand of concern and stretched out her muscles before putting on her shoulder bag. "I will make sure to text you as soon as I'm home." She smiled again as Sheldon nodded and stood up to escort her to the door. "This was nice Sheldon." She said as she approached the door.

"I agree, although I don't see how you did considering you fell asleep during it." He said with a glare, "But you can make up for that on our next viewing."

"Our next viewing?" She groaned as Sheldon opened the door.

"Yes, we still have another twelve to watch."

"Really?" She groaned again and Sheldon simply smiled and nodded. "Great." She sarcastically mumbled as she made her way out of the apartment. "Goodbye Sheldon."

"Goodbye Amy, and please, drive safely." He said with a smile that was returned, before she turned and made her way down the steps.

Once she had turned the corner, Sheldon closed the door and headed inside to clear up the mess left over. As he put away the snacks from the coffee table, he told himself not to bother putting them out next time, since neither of them even touched them. Once the snacks were gone, he checked his phone. He hadn't heard it beep, and he knew there was no chance Amy would have made it home already, but still he checked. Upon seeing that she hadn't yet arrived, he continued with his nightly routine. He turned off the television and his laptop that had been sitting on standby. He went to the bathroom to wash up and got into his pyjamas, checking his phone almost obsessively every few minutes to see if the text had arrived.

Once settled in bed, he began to wonder if the worst had happened. If those delayed reactions that he knew she would have, had caused some sort of accident. He should have forced the issue more, he told himself. He shouldn't have let her drive. Maybe she could have even stayed the night, not in his bed of course, but she could have had Leonard's. His stomach began to churn, his heartbeat picking up as he continued to tell himself that he shouldn't have let her drive home in her tired state, and then with a furious buzz, his phone went off beside him. He quickly grabbed it from the beside table and checked the text on it, his whole body relaxing as soon as he saw the few words written on his screen.

_Hello Sheldon, just letting you know I got home. Goodnight._

He let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding and allowed a small smile to creep onto his face before typing a quick text in return.

_I'm glad to hear it, thank you. Goodnight._

As soon as the text was sent, Sheldon settled back down, drifting off to sleep only a few minutes later.


	53. Time to Jump

**Ooohh, seems like I really split you guys with that chapter! I knew that would happen, but I'm glad that the majority of you seemed to like the way I had it happen. Hopefully this chapter will put the rest of you all at ease, and if not im sure you will let me know anyway! :P Happy Premiere Day guys! I will be sitting up late tonight to watch all the fun unfold and I cannot wait! Leonards coming home! Yay! **

* * *

**Time To Jump**

Looking up from her phone as she sat behind the bar of The Cheesecake Factory on one of the quietest Sunday nights she had ever experienced, Penny spotted a small group of guys approach the bar. Each one of them were smartly dressed - probably ready for a night out on the town - and looking like they had spent more time doing their hair than she had spent getting ready for work that day, which was no easy feat. Sighing, she stood up, placing her phone into her apron as she approached the guys, urging herself to put on her best smile.

"Hey guys, what can I get you?" She asked as pleasantly as she could, memorizing their drink orders as they were told to her and responding to any of their attempts at picking her up with a simple smile and dismissive comment. She wasn't in the best of moods as it was, making her almost completely unwilling to even play along with their shameless advances, even though she knew it would probably bag her a healthy tip if she did.

As if on autopilot, Penny turned to the wall of alcohol behind her and began effortlessly making up their drinks, realizing as she did it just how easy tending the bar had become to her. She could still remember the days when she would have to practice mixing drinks at home because she just couldn't seem to get them right, and now she was pretty sure she could do it blindfolded. Everything was almost second nature, and it only served to convince her once again that she had been working here too long and had to get out. Working for over six years in The Cheesecake Factory was nothing short of a depressing thought, especially considering her initial plan had her there for no more than six months.

Within minutes the order of drinks was complete, and her fake smile was back as she took their money and handed them their change, suffering through their cheesy pick-up lines one last time as they walked away, before rolling her eyes with a fed up sigh and heading back to her stool.

As she turned on her heel, one hand already making its way back into her apron to retrieve her phone, Penny spotted a petite blonde with a wide grin, excitedly waving at her from the other end of the bar.

"Bernie!" She exclaimed, her face lighting up as soon as she registered who it was, her hand coming away from her apron and out in front of her as she walked towards her, pulling her into a short hug across the bar. "What are you doing here?" She asked before furrowing her brow slightly, "Is Amy not here with you?"

"I thought I'd drop by for a visit," Bernadette began as she sat down in one of the bar stools, "Howie's over at Raj's playing one of those silly games so I thought I'd come by and keep you company since I knew you were working the bar tonight. I tried to get Amy to come too but Sheldon has her taking him to some train convention in LA. So it's just us!"

"Oh, great!" Penny grinned as she pulled her own stool closer to the bar and sat down. "It's a shame Amy couldn't come though…" Her smile dropped slightly, "I've missed you guys this week."

And she had. It had been little over a week since she had had the girls over at her place for a girls night, but it felt like much more. So much had gone on with her over that time, spending much of her free time after her talk with Leonard, contemplating that exact conversation. She thought it over and over, replaying his words and reactions in her head, criticizing the parts she felt she could have said better, and _should_ have said better. She had also spent time searching online, looking at different courses, scouting for a better agent, waiting for something to grab her attention, leaving very little time between that and working for her to catch up with her girls, even though she desperately needed it.

She would be the first to admit that she hadn't been herself all week. She hadn't been upset though, or sad, or angry, she had simply spent much more time in her head, becoming a little closed off to the rest of the world. The only thing she actually found herself putting some serious effort into was preparing for her call-back that she had attended on Friday. She was certain that preparing her monologue for that second audition had been the only thing stopping her from completely losing herself in her thoughts, it being the only thing she had around her that would pull her from her own reality and allow her to become someone else, even if it was only for a short time. That was one thing she truly adored about acting, the process of becoming someone else, immersing yourself in another character, leaving herself, and all the complications that came with being her, behind.

She had almost isolated herself in that short time, the only person she had really spoken to had been Sheldon and her work colleagues. She had spoken to Leonard too, but it was different. When they spoke it wasn't as carefree and relaxed as it had been, as much as they tried to pretend it was. There was a huge elephant in the room now, one that she had put there. Both of them felt it, but neither of them addressed it. Her reason being that she simply couldn't face it again, the heartache from leaving herself vulnerable and not having him physically there to help her through it wasn't something she was going to put herself through again, so she avoided the topic completely. She guessed his reasoning might have been deeper than that, more than likely, he was afraid to broach the subject through fear of making her feel like he was pushing her and possibly pushing her too far, a fear that she had put there too.

Penny found it odd, because she thought that feeling of relief she had felt in the beginning and for some time after their talk, would have lasted. She had thought that figuring out what had been holding her back would have lifted a weight from her shoulders, and it did, but it was instantly replaced with a weight harder to carry. Now she had to do something about what she had learned. It was all on her to work out what it was she wanted to do with the rest of her life, for her sake, and for Leonard's.

But something else had nagged at her ever since their talk and it had taken her a few days to realize it was because she felt like it was unfinished. Although she had felt that what she had told him, and her words reiterating her love for him, were good enough at the time, as soon as a few hours passed and everything began to sink in, she found herself wondering if she should have done more to convince him that she was serious about him. That the words she had spoken just weren't enough to show how deeply she cared for him, but she wasn't even sure what more she could have done, besides proposing to him then and there – something she just knew she couldn't do yet.

"Do you want something to drink?" Penny asked, standing from her stool and shaking her head from her thoughts.

"Sure, red wine please." Bernadette chirpily replied.

Nodding, Penny grabbed a glass and filled it with some wine before placing it down in front of her friend.

"So," Bernadette asked after her first sip, "What's been going on with you? I haven't heard much from you lately! Even your Snapchats have started to die down!" She joked. "I haven't been getting at least one every couple of hours anymore!"

Laughing softly, Penny grabbed a tall glass and began to pour herself a diet coke, "Yeah, the novelty of that wears off pretty quick."

"True," She nodded, "But I bet the novelty hasn't worn off with Leonard." She joked, her eyebrow slightly raised.

Penny gave only a short, soft laugh and a nod in return as she put a straw in her glass and sat down on her stool, beginning to stir her drink, her smile slowly fading.

In that second Bernadette knew something was on her mind, simply by the way she was looking down at that glass, and the absence of some witty retort, that she would usually have given. "So… What's new?" Bernadette asked as casually as possible.

Penny shrugged, "Nothing much really." She looked up, "I went to that call-back and that seemed to go pretty well."

"That's good." Bernadette smiled and nodded as she took another sip of wine. "Anything else?"

Giving another casual shrug, Penny shook her head, "Not really."

Tilting her head, Bernadette gave her a knowing look, "Penny." She chastised, causing Penny to drop away from her gaze and shake her head slowly again. "What's going on?" She asked, "Did something happen with Leonard?" She said a few moments later, going with the odds that anything upsetting her or playing on her mind would have to do with her absent boyfriend.

Blinking slowly as she looked down at the glass of coke in her hands, stirring the ice inside it with her straw, Penny felt a sudden swell of emotion build within her, her gut churning as her throat tightened. She was left with only two options. Bernadette knew something was bothering her, and she could either talk about it, or cover it up and pretend she was fine. While almost every bone in her body told her to keep everything to herself, Penny knew she had to talk. She needed to get these thoughts out of her head before they ate her up inside, hopefully relieving some of the weight that was still on her shoulders, plus there was little chance Bernadette would drop the subject now that it had been brought up.

Taking a breath, Penny looked to the ceiling in an attempt to keep her tears at bay before looking back at her friend and nodding.

"Oh my God, what happened?" Bernadette asked, becoming a little anxious at her friends sudden emotion.

"Nothing bad Bernie," Penny replied, a crack in her voice, as she looked back down at her friend.

"Well it obviously isn't good."

"No, it's just…" She gave a shaky sigh, "it's kind of… complicated."

Bernadette took a quick scan of the almost empty restaurant, before looking back at Penny, "Well, it's only just past seven and this place is pretty dead. We have plenty of time to talk, so get talking."

* * *

"Wow," Bernadette said, her eyes wide. "That sounds pretty intense."

"Yeah, it was." Penny said with a nod and a sigh as she stood up and refilled her coke, before doing the same with Bernadette's now empty glass of wine. It hadn't taken her long to catch Bernadette up with everything that had happened that day in her home. Filling her in on everything she felt she had figured out, telling her about how she had told Leonard everything as soon as she could.

"How did he take it? Was he upset?"

"No." Penny replied, sitting back down in her stool, "I mean, he got a little annoyed with me at one point and made me open up a bit more but overall he was pretty great about it all."

Bernadette frowned, wondering why she was saying those words with such a downbeat tone. "So, what's the problem then? If he accepts that you need to do this before you settle down, then why aren't you happy about it?"

"I don't know." She shook her head. "I _am_ happy. I'm happy he understands where I'm coming from and that he's willing to let me do this but…" She took in a deep breath. "I dunno, it's… it's not right." She said, her voice cracking once more. "He shouldn't _have_ to wait. He's waited on me for _so_ long and it's not fair that I'm making him do it… You know what it's like? It's like three years ago all over again. This is the same feeling I had back then, before-" Penny looked down, trying to hide the tears that were beginning to show. "Before I broke up with him. I feel like I'm stringing him along again but I just can't give him what he wants… Not yet."

Bernadette's eyes widened with shock, "Wait a minute, you don't _want_ to break up with him again do you?"

"No!" Penny quickly replied. "That's the last thing I want."

"Oh," She relaxed, "okay, good. Well, then, why can't you give him what he wants?" She asked and Penny simply glared through her tears. "No," She continued with a dismissive wave, "I know all that stuff about you wanting to work on your career too, but… I mean… did you give him any sort of reassurance that you two were actually going somewhere?"

"Yeah." She replied with nod and a sigh, reaching over to the napkins under the bar and dabbing her eyes dry, "I told him that I loved him, and that I wanted to marry him one day, but that I just had to do this first, and honestly I thought that was enough at the time…" Scrunching up her napkin, she dropped her hand to her lap. "And it felt like it was, even though he still seemed a little disappointed about it. I told myself that me telling him that would be enough…" She trailed off, staring down at her glass again.

"But it's not?"

Shaking her head, Penny looked up to the ceiling again, softly hitting her clenched fist off her thigh as those tears began to bubble up again, "No." She replied with a squeal.

"Did he say that?"

Penny shook her head and sighed, "No," She dabbed her eyes again, "but he doesn't have to. I can feel it myself, I _know_ it's not. He needs more from me and I don't even know if he realizes it or if he just isn't telling me that." She took in a deep breath, "Ever since I told him, things have been different... Like, they haven't been bad, it's not been awkward or anything. We still talk to each other and we still laugh and stuff its just..." She shrugged one shoulder, "different. It's like there's this big cloud hanging over us and we are both just waiting on it to either burst or clear away."

Bernadette nodded, taking a sip of her wine both to take in everything she had said and to give Penny some time to compose herself. "Have you two spoken about it since?"

"No." Penny replied softly, "I don't wanna bring it up and I don't think he does either." She shook her head. "I wouldn't even know what to say, I don't even really know what's bothering me so much. I just have this feeling in my gut that tells me I should have done more. I should have given him something but I don't know what I could have said to make things better."

"Have you ever thought that maybe you should have _shown_ him how serious you were about wanting to be with him?"

Penny frowned instantly, "What do you mean?"

"You know, like… instead of just _telling_ him that you love him and want to be with him, you should have given him something concrete that _showed_ him you're in it for the long haul." She shrugged, "Words are just words Penny."

"But… what could I have done? I already told you I can't do the marriage thing yet. Not just because I want to sort my career out first but because I just don't think we are ready for it right now. You;ve seen how we are, we still have those silly fights." She shook her head, looking back down at her glass. "We're both still kinda new at this… this is the first real relationship I've had, one that isn't just all about sex." She looked up and over at the group of men she had served earlier, sitting in one of the booths loudly talking and laughing, "Like it was when I used to date _those_ sorts of guys." She turned back to Bernadette, "I _really_ care about him, and I can't mess up what we have by jumping into marriage… but… what else can I actually _do_ to show him how serious I am?" Shaking her head slowly, Penny looked back down, "I have no idea."

"You don't?" Bernadette asked with a frown, since to her it seemed pretty obvious what she could do, what she had practically already _done_, without thinking twice about it.

Shaking her head again, Penny looked up and sighed. "No. And the thing is, if I _don't_ do something, I feel like it will be… I dunno… _weird_, when he comes back."

"Why?"

"Well, we can hardly go back to being how we were can we? So much has changed that it would be weird if he came home and we just acted like everything is back how it was before he left."

"But, why? What's changed that's really going to make a difference?" Bernadette asked, although she was pretty sure she knew the answer to that question, even if Penny wasn't clear of it yet.

"I dunno. Everything, and nothing." Glancing up at Bernadette and seeing the confused look on her face, she sighed. "Like… with him being away I've just realized just how much I need him. I _still_ miss him. And I really thought before he left that by the time he was almost home I would have stopped missing him so much, but I haven't."

"So, you're feelings have changed?"

"No, they haven't _changed_ they've just gotten stronger. I loved him before he left but right now it's more than that. It's more intense. He's like… my whole life." She looked down and shook her head, "That's why I kind of need something else… it freaks me out that he has taken up so much of my life. He has so much power over me and I don't think he even realizes it. And that's _so_ scary to me because what if the worst happened? What if we broke up, for good this time." She shrugged, her throat tightening again. "I'd be left with nothing but The Cheesecake Factory."

"You would have us."

Penny gave a small smile. "I know that sweetie, but you understand what I mean." She motioned to Bernadette with her hand that still clutched her tear stained napkin, "If you and Howard broke up, you would have your work to focus on to keep you going. I don't have anything like that right now." She shook her head, "Anyway, the thing with feeling like that is that now I feel like we can't just go back to how we were."

"I understand that. You feel like what you have is deeper now, so getting back into the same routine you had before he left would almost feel regressive, right?" Bernadette said and Penny nodded, "So, what part don't you think you can do again? What do you want to change?"

Penny frowned and stared off thoughtfully. "Um… I dunno. I…" Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked down and stared at her glass as she thought over everything that would happen when Leonard got back and only one thing came to mind that she really wanted to change.

When he came home, she realized she didn't want him leaving her apartment to go back to his own. It had been pretty much established that when he returned, his first few nights would be spent at her apartment, but she wanted more than that. She didn't want him to leave and go across the hall after those few nights, she wanted him to stay there with her, for as long as possible. As that thought really hit her, she glanced up at Bernadette, a slightly scared look in her eye.

Bernadette smiled, feeling pretty certain that Penny had finally come to the conclusion that she had reached a while ago. "Figured it out?"

Penny just continued to stare, her jaw slackened as she tried to speak. "I…" She shook her head. "But we tried living together before, it didn't work."

"And why not?"

"Because… because it was…" She trailed off in thought.

"Too sudden? Pretty much forced on you?"

Penny nodded. "Yeah."

"But this time it won't be forced on you. It's _you_ that's decided you don't want him going back to his own apartment. It's you that's pretty much moved his stuff in already."

Penny opened her mouth once again to speak, but quickly closed it again, unsure of what she even wanted to say. She could hardly protest that point, as much as she wanted to, almost all of the stuff that Leonard hadn't taken with him had built up slowly in her apartment.

"Tell me something..." Bernadette began, moving in closer, putting both of her arms on the bar, her fingers lightly holding the glass of wine in front of her.

"Yeah?" Penny cautiously replied.

"How did you feel that time he moved in? After everything blew up and he went back to his own apartment after staying at yours for those few days?"

Penny shrugged a little, "Um… I dunno. Well, angry at first," She said with a nod, "Because of how all of that had happened…" She thought for a few moments. "Then… _relieved_, I guess, because all of the pressure was off again. We were back to the way we were."

"So you never missed having him around?"

"Mmh, I never really thought about it…" She looked down. "I guess I kind of did." She said quietly. "I missed waking up with him." She smiled. "That was always nice. Going to sleep with him was nice too…" She looked up at Bernadette with a small grin. "And there was this one night that I was working the dinner shift and didn't get home until like ten." Her grin widened as she reminisced, "When I got back he had a pizza in the oven for me, since that's all he can really cook," She laughed, "And a glass of wine sitting out for me. Then after we ate we just sat on the sofa for a while just… talking and stuff. He massaged my feet because they were sore and then we cuddled for a while and went to bed." She looked down at her glass as a tint of red hit her cheeks, "We didn't even have sex that night… that was the only night of the days he stayed over that we didn't, but it was my favourite night with him because it was just _so_ nice having him there when I got back. I didn't think about how he had moved in and how much that freaked me out," She shrugged, "I was too tired to care, I just loved having him there taking care of me, helping me relax after my crazy shift."

Bernadette looked on, smiling as her friend continued to grin into her glass, glad for her sake, and for Leonard's, that everything seemed to be falling into place. "So he only problem you really had with him moving in was that it happened without any forethought. He pretty much forced it on you and that freaked you out. That's completely understandable Penny, but this time you've thought about it. I can tell you want it. I think it's time you made that jump Penny. You have to at some point."

Penny nodded, still not looking away from her glass. Bernadette was right. She did want it, she just hadn't really realized it until now. The thought of him coming home had always seemed so far away that she just never thought too much about what would happen with them when he did return. And now, with only a month to go before he was back, it really hit her just how much she didn't want him going back to his own apartment. She didn't want to have to take all the things she had 'borrowed' from his place and put them back. She didn't want to have to take his clothes out of her drawers and closet, or take his comics out from under her coffee table. They were fine where they were.

As a small smile spread over her face again, she looked back up at Bernadette and nodded. "I think you're right. I think I want to live with him."


End file.
